Chapter 4: Chapter 4

With my handbag swinging low by my hip and a newly found strut to my step, I found myself walking down the high street at quarter to six, attempting to find anything that looked remotely like a pub. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds and was beginning to set, letting a cold chill fly across the air. I folded my arms against the cold and wished I had asked Dee for directions. I passed the wolf fountain, giving it a small smile, but I didn’t stop to admire. I passed Blossoms’ and Dee’s boutique, but still hadn’t found a pub...or better yet, another human being.

It was eerily quiet and I was slightly unsettled.

Where was everyone?

Finally, just as soon as I was about to give up, an old black and white building came up on my left. The lights were bright, the music was pounding and people were piling in. My stomach suddenly twisted, I hadn’t realised just how busy it would get. I took a moment to compose myself and breathe. My palms felt sweaty and my legs went shaky, I was soon unsure whether this was a good idea after all.

‘It’s been a year,’I told myself.‘You are allowed to enjoy yourself again.’

I plucked up some courage and gathered my wits about me. Taking a big, deep breath and fixing my hair, I placed the strut back into my step and walked towards the pub. A bouncer on the door was checking ID’s and I paled, I didn’t have my passport with me. The bouncer clocked my nervousness as he held out his hand.

“ID?” he asked gruffly.

I felt sick, “I don’t have it on me,” I said truthfully, “But a friend is waiting for me inside.”

The bouncer narrowed his eyes, “I don’t recognise you. Which friend?”

“Dee, she owns the boutique on-”

I didn’t need to say anymore, once Dee’s name was mentioned, the bouncer waved me inside without another word. Clearly, the bubbly girl had some influence.

Once in, I was met with a sea of people I didn’t recognize, all of whom thought it appropriate to look me up and down as though I was some kind of trespasser or someone they really didn’t expect to see. I frowned, just how unusualwerevisitors here? I ignored the looks as much as I could, but I could feel the heat rising up on my cheeks and my stomach clench from nerves. I focused on trying to find Dee. However it seemed, she found me. A girlish squeal rose up from the bar and a hand shot in the air to get my attention,

“Sophie over here!”

I was surprised she had even remembered my name, I hardly remembered giving it to her. Still, I walked over to her, my head held high and focusing on my feet trying not to trip over. I tried to relax and show people that I wasn’t afraid, not of them, not of anything they thought they could throw at me. Dee threw her arms around me as I got closer and stunned by her show of affection, I stood awkwardly with my arms by my side; too shocked to move. She pulled back, not at all affected by the hug not being returned and she passed me a long glass filled with bubbly pink alcohol.

“This one is on me,” She smiled, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

I took a hold of the pink champagne and thanked her. Stood by the bar were five, incredibly attractive people who Dee introduced as ‘everyone’. Three girls and two men were smiling warmly at me.

“Sophie, this is Josie you might recognise her from Blossoms’ cafe,” Dee introduced.

My smile felt genuine this time as I encountered the bubbly waitress for the second time,

“Yes, I remember. How are you?”

“I’m fantastic!” She replied.

“Surprising considering your state last night,” Came the deep voice of one of the men next to her.

Josie reached out and slapped the man, hard, across the arm. He feigned hurt and rubbed it with a groan.

“That idiot winding Josie up is Kai,” Dee continued, after she had finished laughing. Kai lifted a hand to wave politely at me and I returned his smile.

“Then you’ve got Eric and Kate.”

The two blondes of the group both smiled warmly at me. Similar in features, I assumed they were related.

By the time she had finished introductions, my glass was almost empty. There was no way I was going to be able to remember all the names and I realised,sadly, that there was no need for me to. It was unlikely I would ever see these people again after tonight if my mother didn’t calm down and venture outside the hotel room.

Penshaw Lake was unusual, but so far, it didn’t seemdangerous.

“So Sophie, how come you moved to Penshaw Lake?” The dreaded question came from the pretty blonde, wearing a skimpy red bodysuit and tight black, leather skirt. She was stunning and intriguing, yet all her attention was directed towards me. In fact, all their attention was on me. Thankfully, due to the second glass of bubbly I had just been given, it was getting slightly easier to manage.

“I’m just passing through with my mum, we’re only staying a few nights,” I replied vaguely. Vague was best, vague was safest.

“Well, at least one of your nights will be fun-filled,” She said with a grin, clicking her glass with mine. Her gaze moved from mine to behind me and she rolled her eyes, “I knew they’d come,” She sighed, “Now we’ve all got be on our best behavior.”

I frowned as Kate, motioned to Dee to look towards the door. I followed her gaze and watched as three men entered the pub. One, the smallest,mentioned something to the others and left the group and began chatting up two women who were sat near the DJ. He sat down and immediately they were both all over him. I furrowed my eyes, was everyone in this town some kind of sex god?

The other two headed towards Dee and her friends, one, she realised, was the man she had seen in Blossoms’, Josie’s cousin. He was just as she remembered, stunning, with shaggy, long hair grazing his shoulders, a thick, dark beard, tall and brooding with muscles threatening to escape his jacket. He kept his gaze away from me, instead keeping his stony expression towards Kai who had gone over to talk to him. He was the only person in the pub who hadn’t openly looked me up and down. In fact, it looked as though he was actively trying not to look at me.

“Hello Kate,” said one of the men.

“Hi Isaac,” She drawled as though she put up with his flirting on a daily basis, “Why are you here?”

“Where else would I be on a Friday night?” He replied with a wink and turning to me, “I haven’t seen you around before, I would have definitely remembered you.”

The stronger drink Dee had passed me allowed me to loosen up slightly, but I was still apprehensive.

“I’m only around for a few nights.”

“Shame,” The blond, Isaac, retorted.

Suddenly, everyone in the group jumped, as though they heard something I couldn’t. Isaac’s expression turned to confusion as he turned to face the shaggy haired man, as did the rest of his friends. I was shocked to see that the expression of the man, Mason, had gone from stony cold, to pure fury. His eyes blazed with anger, anger directed at Isaac. I recognised the signs of a man about to blow, and it was threatening to send me back to a time when I had to face the brunt of Dan’s anger.

I felt soft hands around my shoulders and allowed myself to be pulled away by Dee who brought me into the women’s toilets. One glance from her and the girls that were in there hurried to get out.

I couldn’t breathe. The anger from Mason was bringing back memories that I had shoved deep down into my subconscious. The way his hands gripped the bar, how his eyes seemed almost black and how he bared his teeth. That was a dangerous man and I felt beyond stupid to have even considered coming here tonight.

“Just breathe,” Dee instructed, as I placed my hands on my knees as I tried to regulate my breathing. “Are you okay?”

Dee was surprised, surprised at Mason’s growl that had vibrated through all of them. A growl that, directed at Isaac, could only mean one thing. Mason was telling him to‘back the fuck off’.It was a behavior that Dee had never observed on Mason. But she was also surprised at the reaction of her friend, Sophie.

“I’m okay,” I shuddered finally, raising myself to stand straight again.

“You were really freaked out in there!” Dee replied. “What made you feel that way?”

More questions. I shook my head, “I’m really okay. I just felt a little ill from the alcohol,” I lied.

“I don’t believe you,” Dee responded flatly, but she took one look at my face and her own changed to one of passive acceptance. She decided to stop asking questions. “I won’t pry any longer. Do you want to go back out there?”

I was torn. Go back out and risk having to see Mason again, or continue to panic in the toilets and be the town weirdo after being there for a day? The more I freaked, the more I knew that I would bring unwanted attention. Dee felt safe, I would be safe with her.

“I’m ready,” I said, convincing myself more than Dee.

Stepping back out into the pub, I was half expecting there to have a been a brawl. Instead, Mason was gone, Isaac too and the rest were conversing around a table as normal. Josie grinned at me and I felt the knot in my stomach untwist itself. I gingerly took a seat at the table and Kai brought over some drinks on a tray.

“You’ve got to stop buying me drinks,” I pressed, “I can pay for myself honestly!”

“No way!” Kate cried, “If this is your only fun night in Penshaw Lake, then we’re not letting you be skint!”

“You know if you ever wanted to stay, you could work in the cafe with me,” Josie suggested. “Who have you come into town with?”

“My mum, Louise,” I replied slowly.Fake names,I repeated in my head.

“Why are you only staying a week? Not many people come here for a holiday,” Kate continued.

“I-we, um-”

Dee must have caught my uncertainty and answered for me, “Kate! Stop interrogating her. They’re passing through, that is all.”

“I’m only asking,” Kate pouted.

“It’s fine, I’m just not used to being asked questions,” I reassured her. She was only being kind, that I could tell. It had gotten easier over the past year to tell malicious questioning apart from real intrigue.

“I wish you weren’t only passing through though,” Josie spoke up.

I laughed and felt a warmth spread through me, “I’ve only known you a day!”

“Hey, I’m intuitive and I know when someone would fit right in with us. You most certainly would. There’s something about you that I just can’t put my finger on.”

I rolled my eyes at her, but it definitely got me thinking. Would staying be such an awful thing? So far, the only man I had seen get angry was Mason and he couldn’t even look at me before. Penshaw Lake was remote and far away enough that Dan shouldn’t find us here and this was the only place I had truly felt like I could be happy. I never trusted myself around anyone to make friends before, and each place we went to only felt temporary.

But there was an unusual feeling when I thought about Penshaw Lake. A feeling I couldn’t shake, yet it felt ridiculous to even think it. It didn’t feel like home, it wasn’t quite a sense of belonging, but something was making me want to stay.

Something, or someone was really making me want to stay.