I donât believe in ghosts, but I believe in people
This was probably the first time Song Yan ate this much in one sitting.
After eating, he lazily and weakly nestled into the blankets, covered himself with the quilt, and his gaze slackened, as if he were a child that ate himself into a daze.
Thatâs fine, if he slept after eating, heâll fatten up. Very good.
Xia Zhiye gazed at the rare dazed expression that Song Yan had, and the corner of his lips hooked upward. He picked up the bowl and chopsticks and entered the kitchen, then cooked a pack of ramen noodles for himself, finished eating that, then washed the bowl and chopsticks, and then returned to the room.
Meanwhile, a certain someone in the room was evidently already deeply asleep. He was earnestly covered in the blanket, without leaving a single corner for Xia Zhiye.
But he looked so well-behaved as he slept, and it made others feel as though they couldnât bear to wake him up.
Xia Zhiye could only sigh resignedly, and pull out a blanket from the closet and make do with that. He once again rubbed Song Yanâs forehead, confirming that the other had no fever for the time being. Only then did he set an alarm, set it to vibration only, and then stuffed it under his pillow.
The alarm was set to ring every hour.
The only note listed was âTake Song Daxiâs temperatureâ.
Earlier in the afternoon, the school doctor said that Song Yan could redevelop a fever at any point in the night. In case he didnât discover it in time, Song Yan would burn up all night, and the fever would turn his learning tyrant boyfriend into a little fool. Who would he argue with at that time?
So every time Xia Zhiye was just about to fall asleep, he was awakened by the cellphone under his head. He would then fight to turn off the alarm, take out the thermometer, and only after confirming Song Yanâs body temperature was normal would he lay back down.
Under this repetitive cycle, he couldnât feel at ease the entire night. It wasnât until the sky brightened slightly that he reluctantly feel better, and he changed the alarm to ring every two hours, planning to nap for a while.
The cord in his head that had been pulled tautly all night finally loosened, and his exhaustion surged up violently, overwhelming his nerve endings. While in a daze, he felt a burning hot ball of something energetically drill into his arms.
Xia Zhiye was extremely exhausted, and could barely even open his eyes. He could only smoothly reach out to pull the feverish body that was uneasily rubbing this way and that, over to his side, and huskily said: âBe good, donât mess around.â
Then in the next second, when the palm of his hand felt the burning hot temperature of the otherâs skin through the pajamas at Song Yanâs waist, the cord that loosened in his head almost instinctively caused him to wake up instantly.
As soon as he sat up, he reached his hand out to caress Song Yanâs forehead. The palm of his hand felt the otherâs burning hot skin, then he brought out the thermometer, 39.9C.
Fuck.
How come he suddenly burned up this high.
Xia Zhiyeâs sleepiness directly vanished, and he got off the bed, hastily put on clothes, and pulled out a large jacket from the closet and wrapped Song Yan up. He easily picked up the envelope with the otherâs medical history, then held the other up by his waist, lifted him up, and quickly walked out of the room.
He just happened to meet grandma Liu who had gotten out of bed and was about to go out to buy ingredients. As soon as she saw this scene, she anxiously ran over: âWhat happened to Xiao Song?â
The wind was strong in the early morning, and Xia Zhiye wrapped Song Yan up a bit tighter. His tone was low and even as he said: âHe burned up again, and his temperature is very high. I want to bring him to the hospital first.â
âOh my, howâd he burn up again. Wait a minute, grandma will come with you, itâs better if an adult is there too.â After grandma Liu said this, she hurried back to the room, picked up her bank card and medical insurance card, and got onto a car with Xia Zhiye.
The taxi crossed the misty autumn morning and arrived at the hospital.
After the examination, the doctor looked at the medical history, then looked at the examination results, then sighed lengthily.
With this sigh, Xia Zhiyeâs fingertips pinched into the hollow of his palm, and he made a great effort to maintain calm on his face: âDoctor, heâs fine, right?â
The doctor pursed his lips, and under Xia Zhiyeâs efforts to remain calm, paused for a long moment, then replied: âItâs not that thereâs something, but I also canât say itâs nothing.â
Xia Zhiye: ââ¦â¦â
You canât say that itâs nonsense, but it really is meaningless.
âDonât worry, just listen to me explain it.â The doctor unhurriedly tapped the medical record, âBased on the medical record that the schoolâs doctor office provided, this patient has had suboptimal mental health for a long period of time, which has caused long-term insomnia, poor rest and a poor frame of mind. This would definitely create a large burden on his body, so the fever this time is actually a wake-up call from his bodily function, do you understand?â
âGot it.â Xia Zhiye lowered his eyes and glanced at the document, then asked, âThen why did you also say that itâs nothing?â
âItâs nothing because this condition isnât caused by any pathological illness with his organs, just that his body is regulating itself.â
âRegulating?â
âMhm.â The doctor nodded, âThis pathological accumulation doesnât occur over just a day or two. But because of his youth and good health, he has always suppressed this phenomena. But once his mental state collapses, or he suddenly relaxes and stops using all his willpower to suppress it, then heâll immediately be overcome by sickness, just like a mountain toppling over. But actually, itâs not a big deal as long as he rests well, and maintains physical and mental joy, anyway, itâs a good thing. Butâ¦â¦â
âBut what?â
Xia Zhiyeâs heart hung by a thread.
The doctor sighed again: âIâve read this childâs medication history, and it seems he had taken some medication similar to antidepressants. Now he appears fine, but you should still pay more attention to his physical and mental health.â
Antidepressants.
Xia Zhiyeâs fist that had been pressed against the table tightened.
How come Song Yan and Shen Jiayan never mentioned this before.
He nodded: âMm, got it. Is there anything else I should pay attention to?â
âSome other things would be to have him rest more, eat more, and strive to maintain the standard body weight. After that, thereâs nothing else.â
âOkay, thank you doctor.â
Xia Zhiye retrieved the medical record, and walked out of the room.
Grandma Liu stood outside the door and had been listening for a while, but didnât completely understand it. She only roughly understood that that child, Song Yan, had a problem weighing on his mind, and had heavy thoughts, which caused his body to fall ill.
Upon seeing Xia Zhiye exit, she hurriedly pulled his wrist, until they reached the edge of the wall, and asked a bit critically: âSuch a big situation, have you contacted Xiao Songâs parents yet?â
âNo.â
âThis child.â Grandma Liu was anxious, âNo matter how much we care for him, weâre still just outsiders. Xiao Song is sick to such a degree, he definitely is thinking of his mother and father, how could you not contact them?â
If he really contacted his mother and father, then Song Yanâs illness would be completely unable to be cured.
But it also wasnât good for Xia Zhiye to say too much regarding Song Yanâs personal matters, so he could only lower his head and randomly say: âHis parents are busy and have no time to care about him. Calling them would be useless.â
âSo itâs like that.â Grandma Liu seemed to have understood, âI just said, how could this child be so skinny, turns out his parents donât care about him at all. Ayy, how horrible. Then if anything comes up, just tell grandma. This child is here all alone and is unfamiliar with the area, so we should take care of him well.â
âDonât worry grandma, heâs fine now. You should go home first and take care of little mahjong. Itâs fine if I just stay here.â
Grandma Liu originally planned to stay to take care of the patient, but she also wasnât at ease leaving little mahjong alone at home. So after thinking for a moment, she pulled out her bank card from her cloth bag, and stuffed it into Xia Zhiyeâs hand: âThereâs still two months of my pension here, if itâs not enoughâ¦â¦â
âGrandma.â Xia Zhiye chuckled, âTake your card back, I still have money. If I really donât have enough, Iâll just ask my family, thereâs no need for me to use yours.â
âYou really have money?â
âReally.â Xia Zhiye pulled out his cellphone, then opened up Alipay, âLook, I have 5,000 yuan. I just made it from selling study materials.â
After looking at each number clearly, grandma Liu finally believed it, took back her bankcard, then lectured him for a bit, and only then did she feel well enough to return home.
Xia Zhiye also returned to Song Yanâs bedside.
The face of the person on the bed had nearly blended in with the pale bedsheets. His pitch-black eyelashes were peacefully lowered, casting a faint shadow against his face. His bangs were also quite long, drooping over the corner of his eye and the tip of his eyebrows, and a kind of listless energy penetrated his face.
It seems that the first time he met Song Yan, he also looked like this.
He just felt that although this boy was quite good-looking, and dressed quite tastefully, he had some kind of cold listlessness that made it hard for people to get close to him.
At that time, he felt that perhaps Song Yan just had that kind of personality. But later, after spending all their time together, he found that Song Yan was actually soft hearted, incredibly gullible, yet didnât seem to know he was incredibly gullible, and even had a stiff face on all the time. And so he felt the other was very lovable.
So exactly what did such a lovable Song Yan encounter that required him to take antidepressants, and exactly what happened that made his father ruthlessly toss him to live in NanWu alone, with no care or concern for him.
âExactly what kind of vexing life did our Yanyan endure.â
Xia Zhiye couldnât help but reach out to help fix the ruffled bangs of his familyâs Song Yan.
Then his wrist was gently grasped.
The person who grabbed his wrist seemed to have smelled something really nice, turned around, then pulled his hand over so Xia Zhiyeâs palm was touching his face, and lightly rubbed against it.
Xia Zhiyeâs palm felt numb after being pressed, and he used some strength in an attempt to pull his hand away. But as soon as his fingers moved, Song Yan furrowed his eyebrows unhappily.
So he could only drop it, and quietly sit next to the bed, allowing Song Yan to grab his wrist, use his palm as a pillow, then watch as he remained motionless.
The sky outside the window began to show the first rays of light. The bright sunlight languidly shone down, dispelling the layers of mist wrapped in the cold air, and landing on the sleeping boyâs face who expressed a completely trusting dependence and weak frailty.
Xia Zhiye thought, no matter what happened in the past, in the future he wanted Song Yan to live happily and joyously.
Or else he would be unworthy of Song Yan who loved him so dearly.
Look, the other was grabbing his wrist without letting go, as if he were an unforgettable lover.
.
Song Yan felt as if it had been the first time in his life that he had slept so soundly, and for so long.
While sleeping, he had a comfortable pillow that had a stable temperature, and it would even tickle him. Also, he didnât have to worry if he was late, nor did he have to worry whether or not he finished his homework. He subconsciously felt that someone would help him do everything, so with absolutely no restraint, he slept with reckless abandonment.
It wasnât until the exhaustion and fatigue that had accumulated throughout several years completely disappeared, that he could no longer continue sleeping, and he unwillingly opened his eyes.
Once he opened his eyes, he saw a pair of crossed legs sitting on a chair next to the bed. An English workbook laid on top of that pair of legs. One hand supported the book, while the other hand held a pen, and every so often it marked the answers to the multiple-choice questions.
This person unexpectedly took advantage of his sickness to secretly study behind his back.
It seemed that the other felt Song Yanâs reproachful eyes. Xia Zhiye raised his head, then saw Song Yan dazedly staring at his thighs with a head of bed hair, and lightly chuckled: âWhat, is it that youâve discovered that your Ye gegeâs legs can simply be rated as perfect.â
Song Yan: ââ¦â¦â
His brain had just woken up, and he had not yet regained his language ability functions. He really wanted to scold the other in his heart, but his brain couldnât keep up, and he buffered for a moment.
Xia Zhiye was a bit unused to not being scolded and ridiculed by Song Yan. He gazed at Song Yanâs dazed appearance, and raised his eyebrows.
The fever was gone, and his vital signs were normal, but how come it seems like the other was a bit stupid?
He lifted his pen, and waved it in front of Song Yan: âWho am I?â
Song Yan unhappily rolled his eyes.
Xia Zhiye chuckled. If he could still roll his eyes, he wasnât completely stupid: âLet me ask you a math problem.â
âAsk.â
âWhatâs 17 plus 52.8, multiplied by 5, then subtract 3.9343, then divided by 0.5, and finally subtract 170?â
â520.1314.â
âNot bad, looks like youâre not stupid yet.â
Xia Zhiye was very satisfied.â
Song Yan: ââ¦â¦â
He really couldnât help himself: âEven an idiot could solve that problem.â
âDonât say that, if little fatty heard that heâd be anxious.â Looking at this simple little fool who looked as if he didnât know he had been fooled, the bottom of Xia Zhiyeâs eyes couldnât help but fill with a hint of a smile, âSo to reward our classmate Song Yan for answering such a difficult problem, teacher Xiao Xia has decided to award you with a prize.â
Song Yan vigilantly raised his eyes.
Then he saw Xia Zhiye seemingly conjure up a bracelet.
One with obsidian beads, with a dark blue moonstone in the center.
Song Yan stared at his own left wrist, which was already bare: âThatâs something I fucking bought myself.â
âBut I carved the wish for you myself.â The corner of Xia Zhiyeâs mouth held a smile, and he pinched Song Yanâs wrist as he helped place the bracelet onto the otherâs wrist once again.
Song Yan lowered his head, and his fingers pinched that dark blue moonstone, turned it over, and found that there really was a crooked âåâ1Â character carved on the inside.
One that was carved very hideously.
So hideous that with one look, you could tell that the other personally used a knife to carve it himself.
âWhat kind of wish is this.â
Song Yan seemed to regard it with disdain.
However Xia Zhiye was very earnest: âThis is actually something that grandma personally asked after looking for a great master. They said this âåâ character can flush away the terrible energy in your name. Later it can bless and protect you for a lifetime so you stay safe and sound, and live joyously.â
Song Yan released the moonstone, lowered his hand, and responded with an even tone of voice: âI donât believe in supernatural beings.â
âI also donât believe in them.â Xia Zhiye lazily leaned against the back of his chair, âSupernatural beings donât care if people are happy or not.â
But you still carved such an ugly character.
Song Yan just wanted to retort, when Xia Zhiye unhurriedly tossed out another sentence: âBut I believe in people.â
Believe in people?
Xia Zhiye welcomed the otherâs gaze, with slightly bent eyebrows, his light colored pupils overflowed with a sense of laughter, and his voice was also intangibly leisurely: âYou canât believe in supernatural beings, but you can believe in your Ye gege.â
ââ¦â¦â
At that moment, Song Yan seemed to have understood what Xia Zhiye meant.
Supernatural beings couldnât promise whether or not heâd live happily or joyously, but Xia Zhiye could.
In that instant when he understood the otherâs meaning, Song Yan felt as if his heart had skipped a beat.
He suddenly didnât dare to look at Xia Zhiyeâs pair of smiling peach blossom eyes, and he agitatedly turned around, and with his back facing Xia Zhiye, he carelessly tossed out a sentence: âWhat fucking Ye gege, can you not be so corny.â
âAm I corny?â Xia Zhiye behind him seemed to be totally unaware, âLittle mahjong usually calls me that quite happily.â
âIâm not little mahjong.â
âThen who was it that was acting childishly and clingy like little mahong yesterday night, who continuously grabbed my hand and acted spoiled, calling out Ye gege, not allowing me to leave, and when I left theyâd cry and throw a tantrum. Also that person was even a patient. Iâm such a kindhearted person, what am I to do when I also canât bear to see such a weak and frail boy suffering.â
Song Yan: ââ¦â¦â
He had a bad premonition.
He once again turned over, stared at Xia Zhiyeâs wrist, and really did see a faint red mark around the otherâs wrist, as if the other was forcefully tormented by someone.
Xia Zhiye raised his hand and waved it around: âHow about this suspect fully appreciate the crime scene.â
ââ¦â¦â
Song Yan felt a bit guilty.
He felt that the pillow in his dreams last night really could be that hand, and upon seeing the depth of that red mark, it was estimated that he grabbed that wrist for five or six hours.
He had a peculiar feeling in his heart, yet maintained a taut indifference on his face: âStop acting pitiful. How could you, a living person, have problems with making me, a sleeping person, let go?â
âYouâre also right. Butâ¦â¦â
Xia Zhiye dragged out his tone.
Song Yan once again raised his eyes to look over at the other.
Xia Zhiyeâs eyebrows curved, and his long and thin eyebrows raised gently: âBut when did I say I wanted you to let go?â
ââ¦â¦â
At that moment, Song Yan was nearly certain that his fever wasnât gone yet, otherwise why would his heartbeat speed up for no reason at all.
So he expressionlessly pressed the call bell at the head of the bed.
Xia Zhiye raised his eyebrows bemusedly: âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothingâs wrong, just measuring my temperature.â
After Song Yan said this, he laid down calmly, with his hands resting against his chest and with a cautious expression.
.
The author has something to say:
Doctor: Whatâs wrong with little Song Yan.
Little Song Yan was very serious: Doctor, I think I have heart disease.
.
TN: sorry for the delay! i will also be taking a break for a week to catch up on chapters, but iâll return with a double release on 5/5 at 8pm est. see you soon!
1. å (xi) is the character for happiness/joy. It is also the character that XZY means when he calls SY âSong Daxiâ (大å = daxi = lit. big happiness)