Chapter 38: CH 38

Because of the way his parents had raised him, Xia Zhiye didn’t develop the luxurious lifestyles that other rich second generation children had. He was always casual in material terms, muddled along and made do with what he could. His bank card was also often cut off by his grandfather, so other than Shang Huai and Zhou Ziqiu, no one knew that he actually was a rich second generation.

But this was the first time someone called him ‘poor’.

Xia Zhiye stared at the three words ‘targeted poverty alleviation’, fell silent for a moment, and with wishful thinking, sent three words: [He’s really poor?]

[YAN]: The situation at home is quite special and life isn’t easy for him

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: So in the past, you treated him well because you wanted to help him out?

[YAN]: More or less, anyway it has nothing to do with the nonsense you’ve filled your head with. But you shouldn’t ask about these things later on, and you shouldn’t talk about it either. After all, it’s his own personal business

[YAN]: Anyway, go play your games. If no one wants to buy the watch, then just casually sell it for 20,000 or 30,000 yuan

[YAN]: I’m logging off

The moment Song Yan’s profile picture turned gray, Xia Zhiye felt as if his entire world turned black and white.

Turns out Song Yan doesn’t like him.

Song Yan treated him well only because he was assisting the poor.

Song Yan doesn’t like him.

Song Yan actually doesn’t like him?

Xia Zhiye sat in his original spot, stared at the chat box on his phone screen, and his gaze fixated on the word ‘poor’ without moving. After a long, long, moment, he slowly sat up, picked up his jacket, and then opened the door to the room.

Song Yan raised his head: “Where are you going?”

“Going to calm down.”

Xia Zhiye easily replied with these four words, then shut the door and left, the sound of his footsteps gradually disappearing into the end of the corridor.

Song Yan raised his eyebrows slightly.

Why did it feel like Xia Zhiye was a bit unhappy?

Actually, it was just a very normal expression and tone, but Song Yan just felt as if something wasn’t right about it.

Perhaps it was because in his subconscious mind, Xia Zhiye should always have a lazy smile.

The other suddenly appeared calm and serious, and Song Yan was a bit unused to it.

So what happened?

Song Yan first called grandma Liu. As soon as grandma Liu picked up and heard Song Yan’s voice, she immediately asked whether he ate well, why he didn’t come home this weekend to eat, and if he lost weight again.

After Song Yan patiently listened to her prattle on while humming along to grandma Liu’s well intentioned wishes, then hung up the phone.

Nothing happened at home.

It probably also wasn’t a problem at school.

Could it be that he encountered something when he played games with that jiejie just now?

Song Yan opened up the game companion app.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: QAQ, gege are you there, do you wanna play games today

[System]: Notice: Received user [Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]’s request to refund 300 yuan

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: ?

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: Gege, why did you refund the money ya?

This time, Xia Zhiye replied very quickly.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: It’s the money for the 15 rounds that I borrowed in advance. We haven’t had time to play, so I’ll return it to you first

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: Didn’t you need money to buy the person you like a gift?

[Pure and Good-Looking Male HIgh School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: I don’t need it for now

Don’t need it for now.

Is it that he doesn’t need money, or is that he doesn’t need to buy a gift for the person he likes.

Song Yan’s fingers gently tapped against the screen, and he was unsure whether or not he should ask.

If it were in accordance with his former temperament, he wouldn’t care in the first place, and he would directly accept the money, toss his phone aside, and continue on with his day.

He also planned to do that now, anyway, Xia Zhiye dating had nothing to do with him.

But for some unknown reason, or perhaps it was a supernatural occurrence, Song Yan sent another message: [Gege, was your confession a success?]

This time, the other replied very slowly, and after a long, long time, he replied: [No, he doesn’t like me. I was the one who always thought my love was reciprocated]

The moment he saw this sentence, Song Yan felt his mood was a bit strange.

As if he was a bit unhappy, feeling as if he couldn’t quite understand why someone wouldn’t like Xia Zhiye. But he also inexplicably let out a sigh of relief, as if the stuffy mood he had somewhere in his heart in the past few days suddenly lightened up.

Song Yan couldn’t reason out what exactly that mood was, so he gave up, and only replied: [Then are you okay right now?]

The other party didn’t reply.

5 minutes passed, and there was no reply.

10 minutes passed, and there was still no reply.

After waiting for 20 minutes, Song Yan finally couldn’t help but send out a question mark: [? Gege, are you still there?]

There was still no response, or movement in the slightest.

Maybe he logged off the game companion app, so Song Yan opened WeChat, then opened up the chat with the title [Huge Idiot].

[YAN]: Where are you

Three minutes passed.

Nothing happened.

“……”

Song Yan, who was used to Xia Zhiye replying to his messages in seconds, was suddenly very uncomfortable.

He opened up Xia Zhiye’s Moments.

With a glance, he saw the last post was one sent twenty minutes ago.

Content: Link to a song: [I’ve Fallen in Love with Someone I Shouldn’t Have] [Light a Candle] [Light a Candle] [Light a Candle]

Accompanying picture: A disintegrating white candle tottering on the edge of a table1

And once he opened the link to the song, a heartbroken, inconsolable, and hysterical male voice immediately filled the entire dorm room: “I’ve fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have! I’ve given my soul to you! You left me! Left me heartbroken all alone, crying tears all alone……”

Song Yan: “……”

The songs in Xia Zhiye’s library were all strange.

Also, wasn’t it just the failure of a one-sided love, does he have to go this far? He was already a young man, could it be that he even wanted to court death……

Wait?

What does that candle mean?

Fuck.

Xia Zhiye couldn’t really be that big of an idiot.

Song Yan clicked on the picture, zoomed in, and he could faintly see the words ‘FengKao’ on a sign board in the lower right corner of the photo. Without saying anything further, he randomly picked up a jacket, then pushed aside the door and quickly ran down the stairs.

.

The BGM in the shop had already changed from Qi Long’s ‘I’ve Fallen in Love with Someone I Shouldn’t Have’ to Qi Qin’s ‘Don’t Let My Tears Spend the Night with Me’.

It was really fitting.

Xia Zhiye casually pulled open a can of Cola.

With a hiss, the bubbles gushed out from within the tin can. He hadn’t even taken a sip yet when an angry voice excitedly came from behind his back, ‘Xia Zhiye!’, followed by a ‘bang’, and the can of Cola in his hand was stunned into heroically dying a martyr.

Once Xia Zhiye turned around, he saw Song Yan standing not far behind him under a street lamp. Huge bursts of white mist exited from within his mouth, and a dense blush could be seen at the corners of his eyes and the tip of his nose, as if he had just vigorously ran over.

After showering, the hair that hadn’t been blow-dried yet became ruffle​​d due to the vigorous run, and the ruffled appearance of his disheveled flyaway hair formed a huge contrast with his cold and angry expression.

He was still wearing his pajamas, and only wore a thin, school uniform jacket on the outside. He only wore a pair of slippers, and his bare ankles in the late, autumn night turned red in the cold.

He had only just recovered from his cold, did he want to return to the hospital or something.

Xia Zhiye hurriedly stood up, then quickly walked over, took off his own thick jacket, wrapped Song Yan up, then said “Stay right here and don’t move”, then quickly ran into the neighboring convenient store.

When he came out, he already had a pair of woolen socks that he just bought in his hands, and with a glance, it was clear he wanted to kneel and help Song Yan wear it. Song Yan hurriedly grabbed it: “I’ll do it myself.”

Xia Zhiye stood up straight, watched as the other obediently wore the socks, then lowly asked: “What’s the matter?”

“You’re asking me what’s the matter?” Song Yan unhappily raised his head, “You should know what exactly is the matter here.”

His tone was both cold and annoyed.

He seemed a bit angry.

Xia Zhiye: “?”

What was Song Yan suddenly angry about?

“Also, what kind of music is this shop playing? It’s the middle of the night, can’t they play something happier?” Song Yan heard those awful melodies and immediately felt angry in his heart.

The front receptionist who was innocent and unjustly attacked: “?”

What did the music do to you?

Fine, seeing as the customer requested it, she quietly changed the song to ‘Good Day2’.

Song Yan: “……”

Xia Zhiye: “……”

Song Yan restrained himself, decided not to bother with these minor details, and only discuss actual topics with Xia Zhiye, then pointed to the candle at the corner of the table: “Are you trying to offer a sacrifice to the gods, or are you trying to resurrect someone?”

“It’s because the store had a power cut last night, and they left it on the table today.”

“Then what kind of photo did you take to post on Moments?”

“A symbolic memorial service for my love that just died.”

Song Yan: “……”

He was quite ceremonial.

“Fine, but what are you doing now.” Song Yan pointed to the outline of the can on the table that had no clear outer packaging, “Drowning your sorrows in alcohol?”

“That was a can of cola that was just shocked by you.”

“……”

“Then why didn’t you respond to my WeChats or pick up my calls?”

“My phone ran out of battery, and this shop also doesn’t have portable chargers, so I left it at the front desk.”

“……”

Song Yan felt that Xia Zhiye wasn’t the idiot, he was.

He turned to leave, but Xia Zhiye grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. Xia Zhiye held back his laughter, then asked: “What? Our Yan ge was worried about me feeling depressed after being heartbroken?”

Song Yan slapped away the other’s claws, then coldly replied: “I’d have to be sick to be worried about you.”

After saying this, he once again turned to leave.

But he heard Xia Zhiye lowly say behind his back: “But I really am quite depressed, what should I do.”

His voice didn’t have its usual leisurely indolence. Instead, it was gloomy and a bit hoarse, bringing with it a sense of helplessness and sadness, as if he really was a bit depressed.

Song Yan hesitated, and slowly turned around.

Xia Zhiye in the dim light of the night only wore a very thin sweatshirt. Although his lips held a smile, his eyes and brows didn’t bend, and his light brown eyes were filled with a sense of loss and sentimentality that were hard to describe.

Song Yan had never seen Xia Zhiye with this kind of expression, and felt very uncomfortable, as if he was a bit aggrieved along with an indescribable sense of irritation.

He didn’t know how to comfort people, and could only coldly toss out a: “What’s there to be depressed about, if they said bye-bye then so be it, the next one will be even more well-behaved.”

“But no one is as well-behaved as him.”

Upon hearing this, Song Yan suddenly felt his anger flare up: “Is she some kind of immortal goddess or something3?”

Xia Zhiye nodded: “Yeah, an immortal goddess, good-looking and good-natured, and also treats me super super well.”

He was already dumped but he was still praising that person, and Song Yan could only hate iron for not being steel: “You like her, she knows you like her but she doesn’t like you, but she treats you super super well, what is that even supposed to mean? Just trying to lead you on?”

“……” Hearing Song Yan scolding himself, Xia Zhiye felt it was a bit magical, and that it was a bit hard to explain, “He’s not that kind of person, don’t say it like that.”

“You’re telling me I’m wrong? You’re protecting her?”

This was the first time Xia Zhiye didn’t favor him when speaking, and Song Yan didn’t seem to realize why he was so unhappy.

But his tone really grew cold in a split second, “Fine, I’m meddling in other people’s business.”

After saying this, he turned around and left.

How could this little temper be so powerful.

Xia Zhiye reached out to grab the other’s wrist: “No, that’s not what I meant. I meant that he still doesn’t know I like him.”

“He doesn’t know?” Song Yan paused in his step, and he frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean? You didn’t confess?”

“Mhm.”

“Then why the hell are you acting depressed here?”

“Because I figured out he doesn’t like me before I confessed. I misunderstood him before, so I don’t know if I should keep chasing or not.”

Xia Zhiye loosened his grip against Song Yan’s wrist, and lowered his eyes to look at Song Yan, as if he wanted to find an answer in Song Yan’s face.

But Song Yan was unaware of it all, and only impatiently replied with: “If you want to chase them, then chase them. What’s there to worry about if you should or shouldn’t.”

“I want to chase them. If it were a regular girl then I definitely would chase, but his situation is a bit special. I’m worried that if I directly confess, and continue to chase, then later on we might not even be able to be friends. But if I were to give up now, I also can’t bear it.”

When Xia Zhiye said this, various concerns could be seen at the bottom of his eyes due to his genuine affection, and it didn’t seem as if he was lying.

Song Yan just raised his eyes to take a look, and the uncomfortable feeling in his heart grew more pronounced. But he was still worried that Xia Zhiye really was depressed out of heartbreak, so he slowly asked: “You really like her that much?”

“Yeah, I really like her that much.”

“Then just think of a way to clarify what she’s thinking.”

“What do you mean?”

“First clarify whether or not she can accept you liking her and can accept you chasing her. If not then…… Anyway, there are many ways to like a person, cheer up a bit. It’s better than you guessing around here.”

Song Yan had never said this much about love and other nonsense, and felt it was both embarrassing and ill at ease. He lowered his head to stare at the ground, and stepped on a leaf with the tip of his foot, rubbing it back and forth into the ground, as if he were trying to avoid Xia Zhiye’s gaze.

Yet Xia Zhiye stared at the other’s ruffled hair and his sorry state of dress, and his lips turned up into a smile.

He felt that what Song Yan said was right.

Rather than guessing around here, he might as well directly make it clear.

Or else a certain someone would always act like a tsundere and treat him well. It would be hard for him not to overthink.

He thought back to the last time he was at FengKaoBiGuo, after a certain someone drank three cans of beers, they reached their hand out to say ‘gege, hold hands’, and his extremely lovable behavior when asking questions, Xia Zhiye lowered his voice to reply: “You’re right. But what should I do if I’m still really depressed right now?”

Song Yan stopped his movement of rubbing the leaf into the ground, then raised his head to look at Xia Zhiye.

Xia Zhiye smiled: “Anyway, tomorrow’s the weekend, what does our Yan ge think about drowning my sorrows with me?”

In that pair of good looking eyes, there was a hint of gloom and hurt that couldn’t be concealed despite his best efforts, and there was a hint of a smile at the ends of his lips, and he even feigned a sense of laziness and carelessness.

Seems like he really did like her, so he really was depressed, but was also afraid that Song Yan would be worried, so he also tried hard to keep up a smile.

Xia Zhiye’s jacket exuded a smooth warmth against his body, and Song Yan hid his chin into the collar while lowering his eyes: “Fine, I’ll treat you.”

He was worried about Xia Zhiye.

And Xia Zhiye who was loved dearly by him stood in a place he couldn’t see, and raised his lips in a triumphant yet helpless smile.

A certain someone was so easy to trick, what should he do in the future.