Performing masked is not a problem!
This gave Lin Yuan some confidence, but according to the rules, contestants who lose games have to reveal their faces. Even the winners would eventually have to unmask themselves. So he still had to face this hurdle!
âSeek a psychiatrist.â
Lin Yuan decided to take the advice.
The person he sought help from was Sun Yaohuo. Senior Yao Huo was the one who gave him the most peace of mind. However, when Sun Yaohuo learned that Lin Yuan was seeking a psychiatrist he was startled, âIs there something bothering you, junior?â
âSomewhat like that.â
Sun Yaohuo hesitated for a moment, initially meaning to have Lin Yuan talk to him, but then thought since Lin Yuan was seeking a psychiatrist, the issue might not be something Sun Yaohuo himself could solve, so he took it seriously:
âNo problem!â
Sun Yaohuo was incredibly seriousâas serious as Lin Yuan had never seen him before, not even during their recording sessions. Ultimately, at Sun Yaohuoâs insistence, he found a suitable psychiatrist for Lin Yuan, âThis psychiatrist has a great reputation, and she is the best in the Yan Continent. Plus, she can maintain absolute confidentiality, even towards me.â
âThanks.â
âThereâs nothing to thank.â
Sun Yaohuo said earnestly, âItâs more important to help you figure out your problem. Iâve also consulted a psychiatrist before because of some music-related worries. I believe your problems must also be related to music. She already arrived at Qin Continent. Iâll pay her fee. All you need to do is go see her. Whether she should visit you orâ¦â
âIâll go.â
âNo problem.â
The next day, Sun Yaohuo drove Lin Yuan to the appointment. Along the way, of course, they also brought up Lin Yuanâs voice change. He dropped Lin Yuan off at a high-end apartment building, âSheâs upstairs. However, she doesnât know who you are. Youâll have to do the talking. Iâll wait downstairs.â
âOkay.â
Lin Yuan got out of the car.
As he arrived at the agreed-upon apartment, Lin Yuan felt a nameless nervousness. Some of his secrets were too deep to be spoken, even to a psychiatrist. Can his problem really be solved under such cautiousness?
âKnock, Knock, Knock.â
As he knocked on the door, Lin Yuan still had his worries.
A woman in her thirties opened the door, she was quite beautiful. There was nothing unusual on her face when she saw Lin Yuan. She smiled warmly, âYou must be the pre-arranged guest. Please come in.â
She didnât call me a patient.
Lin Yuan thought, feeling amused.
Inside, he was invited to sit on the sofa, and she took the seat opposite him, âThere are different beverages on the table. I can prepare whichever you prefer. The curtains are drawn so the room is a bit dim. If you donât like it, I can turn on the lights.â
âNo need.â
Lin Yuan didnât bother her. He made himself a cup of tea. She introduced herself in turn, âMy name is Lin Li. You can call me Dr. Li or Sister Lily.â
âMm.â
Lin Yuan nodded, took a sip of the tea, mentally bracing himself before he said, âMy name is Lin Yuan, and Iâm a songwriter who has published some songs.â
âHow interesting.â
Lin Li laughed, âWeâre kindred spirits. Iâve actually dealt with many artists. Youâre not the first songwriter Iâve met in my professional career. Would you mind letting me listen to some of your music that you think is representative?â
Lin Yuan said, âMy stage name is Xian Yu.â
Lin Li paused for a few seconds before slowly saying, âThen I suppose thereâs no need to play any music. Iâve listened to all of your work. You can just tell me about your troubles, or you can write them down.â
Lin Yuan was taken aback.
He remembered Jin Mu was shocked when he found out Lin Yuan was Xian Yu. But compared to that, Lin Li was very calm. Not that Lin Yuan thought there was anything particularly shocking about it, âNo need to write it down. I just have a problem; I donât know why I have a fear of cameras.â
âFear?â
âFear of cameras.â
âDoes that include taking selfies?â
Lin Yuan nodded. He had never taken a selfie. At least not since heâd arrived in this world. He hadnât taken a single selfie, âKnowing the people there lightens the symptoms, and putting on a mask takes care of the problem.â
âI see⦠â
Lin Li smiled, âThere is a pathological condition called scopophobia. I donât know if youâve heard of it. But in most cases, people with scopophobia have severe insecurity about their appearance. But youâre clearly not the case. Iâve never seen a more handsome client. Even in the entertainment industry, youâd be among the handsomest.ân/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
Lin Yuan remained silent.
Lin Li continued to smile, âI imagine youâre tired of this sort of praise. What Iâm trying to tell you is, no one normally doubts themselves because they look too good, unless youâve had plastic surgery.â
âI havenât had plastic surgery.â
âI figured as much.â
Lin Li started counting on her fingers, âLetâs rule out another possibility. Do you ever feel bothered by the attention your appearance draws? For example, stares from the opposite or even the same genderâ¦â
âNo.â
âOkay.â
Lin Li slightly furrowed her brows, âIf none of these reasons apply, itâs hard for me to deduce normally. So, letâs consider an abnormal assumption. Have you ever felt, even for an instant, that youâre not you?â
Lin Yuan was stunned.
Am I not me?
While Lin Yuan didnât answer, his unusual restlessness didnât go unnoticed by Lin Li. Her surprised look quickly disappeared as she quickly said, âDonât rush to answer my first question. Listen to my second one. Have you ever imagined a different life?â
âYes.â
Lin Yuan spoke.
Lin Li topped up Lin Yuanâs tea with some hot water, âWe all have such fantasies. If I hadnât become a psychologist, Iâd probably be in a classroom teaching children right nowâ¦â
âToday is Sunday.â
Lin Yuan reminded her seriously.
Lin Li was taken aback, immediately followed by a laugh, âYour problem is a bit tricky, but itâs actually not that severe. Hear me out. You may have another dormant personality. It may have been triggered or hidden for some reason. It disappeared covertly, but its lingering effects remain deep within you.â
Lin Yuan: ââ¦â
Does a previous life count as another personality?
He decided to be more explicit since he felt a sense of reliability from this doctor, âI seem to have had a different experience, but Iâve forgotten about it. Itâs kind of like amnesia symptomsâ¦â
âDid you actually go through that?â
âScientifically speaking, no.â
âI am a believer in science. Although psychology can seem mysterious to some, it doesnât transcend the realm of science. The only rational explanation I can think of is that you might have been less attractive in the experiences you forgot, but I tend to lean towards the idea that you fantasized about disfiguring yourself.â
Lin Yuanâs brain jolted abruptly.
Some fragments from his past life flashed through his mind, causing a moment of pain to cross his face. He nodded gently, âI seem to have had a lost dream. In that dream, I was very popular. But then everyone saw my disfigured face. They said they would never leave me, but they eventually did, one by one, until one day everyone was goneâ¦â
âYour fans?â
âWho knows.â
âI donât know why youâd have a dream like that. Maybe itâs because youâre attractive to the point where a backlash occurs. But I can happily tell you a piece of news. This is the traumatic shadow that the dream has left on you. Itâs not something that can be cured by medication, and you probably wonât have any sudden bouts leading to a loss of self-controlâ¦â
âIndeed, I donât.â
âThen give it a try.â
Suddenly, Lin Li pulled back the curtains behind her. The dazzling light instantly filled the room, âTry to step out of your shadow. Try to embrace your new life. Because the past dream is already beyond your reach, but you need to stitch up your scars yourself.â
âI understand.â
Lin Yuan stood up to thank her.
At the moment he walked out of the room, Lin Yuan activated the System, âI always thought you were blocking my memories. Turns out, I was the one actively avoiding the past. I still donât want to think about what happened, but I should know how to face the camera nowâ¦â
Lin Yuan came downstairs.
Sun Yaohuo was waiting for him. From a distance, he could see the slender figure of Lin Yuan suddenly glow under the sun. This vision was so stunning that it got Sun Yaohuo questioning:
Can my junior shine?
Meanwhile, upstairs, Lin Li was looking at Lin Yuan through the window. A gentle smile crept onto her lips. Artists always have minds that ordinary people canât understand. But itâs because of these incomprehensible minds that they can shine in this world, isnât it?
ââââââââ
ps: This chapter could actually have been left unwritten, and the story could have continued straight to the competition. But as a plot point that was introduced at the beginning, itâs better to fill it in. It helps to add depth to the characters, and it prevents any misunderstanding about why the protagonist always stays behind the scenes. But there wonât be any more information about his past life. The psychologist is explaining from a scientific perspective, so thereâs no concern about the protagonist revealing any secrets.