Cove's outfit on Friday^^
Cove's POV
I woke up to my alarm blasting. It's morning already?
I quickly shut it off and tiredly rubbed my eyes, slowly rolling out of bed. I can't do this today.
Last night I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about River. By the time I finally fell asleep, it was already 4 am.
I took a quick shower, then dressed in a pink sweater and black stretchy pants. I ended up doing a light makeup look with concealer in order to cover up my dark circles.
Finally, I had a nice healthy breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios with cut up banana. Okay, maybe not the healthiest choice but I don't really care.
As I packed up my bag and put on my shoes, I realized that I'm gonna have to drive myself to school. I never told River not to take me to school, should I text him?
I decided not to. If he does end up coming by my house, he'll see that my car is gone.
After a while of driving, I got to the parking lot. Class doesn't start for another 25 minutes, so I went on my phone to text someone.
Scrolling down my contacts list, I came across the name Millie. We haven't talked since she gave me her number a week ago.
I decided to text her 'Hi!! This is Cove from the mall.'
Not even a minute later, I got a text back. Hey Cove :) How are you?
I responded, 'Good, kind of bored, I'm waiting for school to start. How are you?'
Three dots appeared, meaning that she's typing. I impatiently tapped the side of my phone, waiting for her response.
I'm good too! I'm actually in math class right now. I never got to meet your boyfriend at the mall, how are you two doing?
My heart stopped at the mention of River. What do I say? If I tell her that we're not doing too good, she'll ask why. Then I'd have to lie because I can't tell her the real reason.
I ended up saying that we're doing good. I don't like to lie but in this case, it's for the greater good.
That's good, well I have to go now because my teacher just caught me texting. I'll talk to you after school <3
I replied a simple 'okay, talk to you later,' before deciding that I should probably get to class.
Just as I about to step out of my car, a dark black car came speeding into the parking lot. River.
I watched him park a few rows in front of me, then step out and look around until for my car. I immediately adverted my gaze to my phone, ignoring his burning stare.
After a few moments, I got the courage to back look up, only to see him begrudgingly turning around and walking inside. I quickly followed suit, keeping my distance though so he doesn't see me.
First period went by fairly quickly. All we did was watch a short video and take notes, then the teacher just talked.
Now I have a class with River. Even worse, we sit together. I walked into the classroom and looked around, he's not here yet.
The bell soon rang and there's still no sign of River. Hm, I guess he decided to skip. That's good I guess.
Lunch time came around and I sat with my friends. Leah kept asking me what's wrong but I would just shake my head and say nothing.
The lunch bell rang so we started to gather all our stuff. As I rushed out of the cafeteria, someone took ahold of my arm.
The person pulled me to the side of the hallway, waiting for everyone to leave before speaking.
"Cove? you left this at my house," A familiar voice said.
I turned around and gave him a small glare before looking down to see what he's referring to. It's the brownie container.
"Oh, umm, thank you," I mumbled, a bit confused as to why River found the need to return a plastic container. I have so many, it's not that big of a deal.
"Yeah of course," he smiled. We both went silent, and I took that as a sign to get to class.
"Wait Cove," River once again grabbed my arm, this time to prevent me from leaving.
I let out an annoyed huff and looked up at him with my arms crossed. His smile faltered and sorry filled his face as he immediately let go of my arm.
"As you can tell, I didn't go to our shared class. I figured that you want me to give you space even at school, so that's what I'll do. I can't bare the though of going to class and you ignoring me, so I'm not gonna go. In fact, I don't want to come to school if I can't even talk to you. F*ck baby, I don't want to be here without you. Please read that letter when you get home and consider what I said. When you make up your mind, call me. See you later."
Before I got the chance to ask him what letter he's talking about, he walked away.
It took me a few seconds to get out of my stunned state, but when I did, I realized that I'm about to be late for class.
I quickly slipped the container in my bag and ran down the hall, making it to my class just in time. The teacher came in merely seconds after I sat down.
Phew, that was a close one. Now back to my confusion. What letter was River talking about? I don't know, I guess I'll have to find out after school.
It was weird having my next class without River, It's just not the same without him there too. At least now I can finally go home.
The drive to my house felt so slow and depressing. I'm used to going home with River and begging him to stay. Ah, the good old days.
I walked inside and headed the kitchen to put the container away. When I took it out of my backpack, I noticed a small piece of paper inside.
After taking the paper out and setting the container on my counter, I ran upstairs to see what it says.
Plopping down on my bed, I carefully unfolded the letter and rubbed my hands along the sides to remove the creases. I took a deep breath before starting to read.
Dear Cove,
If you are receiving this letter, it means that you found out about my gang. Today is August 5th, 4 days after we met and 3 days after I asked you to be mine. I know I asked you way too quickly, but don't, nor will I ever, regret that decision. I knew that you made me feel something different since the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I'm glad that you're mine. I'm writing this letter because earlier I went to your house and you asked me why I had blood on my shirt. I lied and told you that it was wine. F*ck, I hate lying to you, don't worry I'm going to tell you the truth soon enough. Hopefully in a week or two, I just need to build up the courage. Back to the point, you're reading this letter because you're scared. I sure hope that I will never have to give you this, but if I do then that's the case. Cove the last thing I want is for you to be scared of me. I know that I do bad things, but I'll also do anything for you. I would never, ever hurt you. Nor would I ever let you get hurt. Baby, my Dad's mafia is giant. I have connections on every block. If you're scared that you're going to hurt, let me assure you that's not the case. After the whole thing with that guy in my gang yesterday, I made sure to set something up so that nothing like will ever happen to you again. I'm going to show everyone that you're mine baby, no one will ever even think about laying a finger on you. The only reason that the thing with Hector and the thing with the guy happened was because they didn't know that you're mine. Once they know, I swear nothing bad will ever happen to you again. I just want to protect you Cove, please let me protect you. I'm not as bad as I seem, I only do these things I do for survival. If I didn't do them, I'd be dead. I wish I didn't have to do such bad things because knowing that you hate that kind of stuff makes me hate them too. I don't want to baby, I really don't. But I have to. Please just give me a chance to prove that I'm not as scary as I seem, I promise I will do it somehow. Go talk to me baby,
-River
Wow. Well there's a lot to unpack here.
First of all, this was written on August 5th. That was so long ago, River has been preparing for this day practically since the day we met.
He also wasn't lying when he said that he planned to tell me sooner, he really was going to tell me months ago.
Also, now that he said all of those things about me being scared of him, I realized that that's the biggest problem I have. At first, I thought issue was just that I don't want a gang leader boyfriend, but I never stopped to think why. I now realize that the reason is because I'm scared of River and of what he does.
But now that I read all of those reasons not to be scared of him, I have a lot of things to consider. River won't hurt me and he will never let me get hurt, he'll protect me.
Being in a relationship with a gang leader would be difficult, but would it really be that bad?
Friday...
I've officially read River's letter over 100 times. Everyday after school, I go straight to my room and read River's letter over and over again to the point that I have the entire thing memorized.
I haven't been getting much sleep either, I spend the whole night thinking about River. I still don't know what to do with our relationship, I haven't yet made up my mind.
It's 3:30 in the morning right now and I'm staring blankly at my ceiling. All night I've been slipping in and out of sleep, I think the longest time I stayed asleep was for an hour.
I wonder if River misses me too. Who am I kidding? Of course he does. Not to sound cocky, but I know that we both miss each other dearly.
Then why don't you just go see him? My inner-consions asked.
If only it was that simple, there's still so much to consider. I really need to hurry up and make a decision, either move on with my life or go back to River.
The latter is calling to me.
I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to get a few more hours of sleep before morning. Suddenly, there was bright light and I instantly opened my eyes.
A blue-ish green hue filled my room. It took me a few moments to realize that the light is coming from the long distant lamp sitting on my nightstand.
A smile unwillingly crept up my face and I almost immediately pressed the top, changing the color to a pastel purple.
A few seconds later, the color changed back to sea green. We went back and forth, changing the color from green to purple until I got tired and gave up, accepting my defeat.
Knowing that River is thinking about me just like I'm thinking about him helped me fall asleep a few minutes after the lamp turned completely off.
My alarm woke me up few hours later, and surprisingly I don't feel very tired. After getting ready and eating breakfast, I got to school just in time for first period.
Just like he said, River hasn't come to school since Monday. It's kind of my fault that he skipped almost a full school week, and I feel pretty guilty. He's going to fall behind because of me.
Everyday is terrible without him here, but I have to stay strong. Visiting him before I completely make up my mind will give him the wrong impression.
The last thing I want to do is give him false hope, so as hard as it is, I have too stay away.
"Cove!" My teachers stern voice broke me out of my trance. "Now that you're with us, what's the answer to the problem on the board?"
Shoot, I wasn't paying attention at all. If I get this wrong, he'll probably give me detention and I can't have that going on my record.
Okay, 15x squared minus pie to the power of 3. Huh? I don't thing that's solvable in numbers.
Oh gosh I'm running out of time.
I nervously looked around the room for a poster or something that can help me.
'Third graph,' my classmate Bridget mouthed to me.
Third graph? What third graph? I don't see any graphs. I guess I'm just gonna have to trust her on this one.
"The third graph," I answered. Only then did I notice 4 graphs labeled 1, 2, 3, and 4 projected on the wall. How did I not see that?
"Correct. Now please stay focused for the rest of class Miss Bentley, I don't want this to happen again. Am I clear?"
"Yes sir."
Thankfully, he went back to teaching after that and the attention on me went away. That was a close one, I'll have to make sure to thank Bridget after class.
Lunch time soon came around and I headed towards the cafeteria. Halfway there, I was stopped by someone tapping on my shoulder.
I turned around and saw Leah looking at me with a worried expression.
"Hey Leah, what's up?" I forced my voice to sound as cheerful as possible. She scowled at my fake tone, not buying it for a second.
"Let's eat in the library, I have to talk to you." Her voice left no room for argument, so I agreed and followed her. We sat down toward the very back in a secluded section of the library.
"So, how are you and Ian?" I started an easygoing conversation.
"We're doing great! He asked me on another date the other day, we- wait a minute! I'm supposed to be interrogating you!"
I almost laughed at how her face turned from adoration to strict in less then a second.
"Really, where are you guys going? And when? How come you just told me this now?" I completely ignored her last sentence.
"Stop, stop trying to steer the conversation away from the real problem! This is serious."
I playfully rolled my eyes, "Fine, what do you so desperately need to talk about?"
"It's just, you've been acting so different lately. Bridget told me that you got called out for not paying attention in class this morning, Cove that's not like you. Please tell me what's going on. And don't say it's nothing, because I know it's something. You haven't been yourself, all week. You've been distant.
I thought for a second before sighing. Maybe it's best if I tell het. Not the whole truth of course, only part of it.
"River and I... are having some issues," I started. Leah nodded for me to continue, and I took a deep breath.
"Look, I can't tell you everything but I don't know if our relationship is going to work out. Don't get me wrong, I really do like him, It's just... he hid something huge from me. I just found out about it on Sunday, so it's been fresh on my mind all week.
Leah's eyes widened at my statement, "D-did he cheat on you?"
I instantly shook my head, "No, no, nothing like's that. He just revealed something to me, well technically I overheard it but then he explained. His explanation makes sense, but I still don't know if I can do this or not."
"Oh... Cove, I think I know what you're talking about. Did he tell you that he runs-" She started to trail off, not knowing if she should continue.
"- runs a gang," I finished for her. She nodded and looked down, biting her lip.
"You knew?" I asked in a soft voice.
"Yes, we all did. Me, Lizzy, Emma, and Sydney, we've known from the start. None of us wanted to tell you because you guys looked so happy together. I'm sorry Cove, I just didn't want to see you get hurt."
Before I got the chance to speak, she continued. "I know that this is huge news to you and you probably feel really betrayed. But look, Cove, River makes you so so happy. I know he does. I will support whatever decision you make because at the end of the day, I just want my bestfriend to be happy. I'll always be on team Cove, no matter what happens. I think that before you make a decision though, ask yourself this. Is leaving River worth loosing what makes you happy?"
I nodded and looked down, asking myself the question. Is leaving River worth loosing what makes me happy?
I mean, yeah he kills people. Yes he runs a gang. Yes he lied to me. But are any of those good enough reasons to leave him?
Like Leah said, he makes me the happiest I've ever been. Leaving would be completely justified, but so would staying. Leaving would only hurt the both of us.
So I'll ask myself again, is leaving River worth loosing what makes me happy?
No. No it's not.
I think I finally have my answer. I need River. Even if it's hard, I trust that we'll work things out. I trust that River will protect me. I trust River.
"Leah it's okay. Thank you for not telling me, if I would've known earlier I would've never even considered giving River a chance. But now I think I finally know what I want. I want what makes me happy. I want River."
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