'Before I hunt you down'
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How to keep wanting without ever getting.
She flickered her hair to the side and combed them into a tight bun at her back. She looked upon in the mirror for a necessary amount of time tucking in any fly always, and turning her attention back to her plain dress. Where she called it sober, Haya begged to differ, for her it was straight up boring.
Ayat's eyes fell on a picture frame on her side table. She had adorned it with small beads and little crispy paper, she was eleven when she designed this piece. She smiled whole heartedly. she was standing with both her brother, she had painted their faces making one a dog and the other a panda. When she turned 15 she'd spend a long time in front of the mirror eyeing her own beauty which at the age of 17 she thought was pretty non existent. And now she didn't even like seeing herself much.
Her eyes fell to her wrist watch next. She was on time, which meant she could possibly spend some time with her family before going out to the hospital.
A young and successful doctor, and so she was showered with proposals from around the family and family friends even neighbors, she ended up rejecting each one of them, and after what happened with her last engagement, she couldn't fathom what he would do to the next if she dared try, she would be impossibly single.
After she found out Maaz's real self, he vanished, he never contacted her like he claimed to when he said he was obsessed with her, she still rolled her eyes, what kind of sick obsession was it? That he couldn't see her move on, and the worst thing was, she didn't even know where he was.
As she climbed down her last step she was thrown a stuffed play ball towards her, hitting it on her shoulder. "Hey!"
Arsalan, as they called him the king of brood, changed his entire personality around her, just so he could fish for the old Ayat somewhere in this uptight women who claimed to be his sister. He tried to cheer her up, revive her, everybody did.
"Really?" She spoke. "Don't you have anything better to do?"
"It isn't better than teasing my little sister," Arsalan pointed out. Ayat laughed it off, another failed attempt. Ahsan's two year old two bunny teethed kid squeaked, there were few words that little child could speak. His name was Mehmad.
"Your Khala called when the picture was confirmed false," Her mother told her one day.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She had gotten excited. "What did she say?"
"She was asking to take you back," Her mother had answered in seriousness.
"What did you say?" Asked Ayat.
"I can't trust them with you anymore," She answered. Her eyes filled with tears that day but now she understood better, her parents were right. Those people had called her unimaginable names, pointed out so many fingers at her character, when they had enough Ahsan shoved the engagement ring in Aman's hand and sent them off to their merry way.
After Maaz left, it felt like a crash from a high came, she fell into depression, his lies, and his cloaked personality did a number on her, each night a concoction of her biggest fear and her deepest desire presented itself. His whispers and the gun shots mixed themselves in her brain, keeping her awake infinitely or ruining her sleep with horrific nightmares, she had shared everything with Mirha and Haya, but that was all, everyone else was in the dark, they stood by while Ayat went into a phase of self destruction. She was too young to witness all that, too young for his intensity, and too young to have been through a man who presented himself like an angel in disguise, it shattered her, until one day, in her pits of depression, she decided to torture herself some more and decided to marry Aman Ahmed, the well known play boy, everybody kept telling her he wasn't a good man but she didn't listen, she was hell bent, she wanted to quell the ache Maaz had left in her. That murderer, he'd ruined her.
It was disgusting how much she thought about him, thought about a murderer, and how much her body, heart and soul defied her, all her reasoning, how much she'd have to resist the allure only to keep her sanity with her moral compass.
"You look beautiful," Haya smiled looking at her friend in the mirror, who'd much rather resemble a corpse than human, but she was a beautiful girl. Her long black hair were twisted in a braid, and a delicate white frock hugged her contours.
Little dove
You're my holy grail
you're beautiful
No one said it the way he did, she got engaged with Aman but.
"I love you," Aman said. Ayat smiled. Her heart swelled, Maaz had put more emotion in her name than he had in that entire sentence. This was her curse, to never feel love again, she only knew one kind, the kind Maaz gave her, the kind that murderer gave her. A man with no morals and her heart ached for him.
Everyone cheered happily. Dinner was served as they all sat around with their own friends group. She had been sitting with Aman, under his intense eyes which only made her uncomfortable, she didn't want to be near him, not one ounce, he would never look at her as his bear colored eyes did with such adoration.
One of Arsalan's childhood friend nudged him. "Bro,"
"What?"
"Is that your sister?" He said showing the screen of his mobile phone to him where his sister was standing with a guy, this seemed to look like the game day, he immediately recognized both the guy and the girl. Ayat and Maaz but that wasn't the worst point, the thing was they were kissing in the picture and the bloody picture was on the internet.
"This can't be," Arsalan immediately disagreed with it although the realization had already dawned on him. But Maaz was long gone. Did bringing Maaz home really gave rise to this bullshit? Did her sister do this? A lot of questions swarmed his minded causing a mental blockage. He needed to handle this intelligently.
"Yes, dude," Arsalan's friend immediately got up and compared the girl in the picture with Ayat who stood there chatting with her friends now.
"I said sit down," Arsalan pushed his friend's arm as he jumped before him on the couch.
Arsalan sat firmly tapping his feet on the ground, he wanted to inquire Ayat in privacy. He was certain she didn't really do it. But that little part of him that thought that she did boiled his blood, and as much as Arsalan wanted this to go unnoticed there came Aman with an angry face.
"What is this?" he demanded from Arsalan showing him the same picture.
"Stop being dramatic and sit down," Arsalan spoke to him passively. He was already trying hard to control his own anger he couldn't afford his sister's fiancé fussing over. He needed to ask Ayat about this, he was annoyed but he knew something was wrong.
"So now you are trying to hide your sister's dirty little affairs!" Aman shouted. Arsalan had enough.
"Shut up!" Arsalan shouted back, there wasn't much edge until he broke into fury as well.
"Why should I shut up? Your sister lured me in this fake engagement to carry on hanging out and kissing another douche bag," Aman said.
"I said to keep quiet we will talk about this later," Arsalan was trying hard to control the situation but the clock had ticked and the time had passed, everyone looked at the two growling boys who pushed each other's chests as they talked.
"Why didn't you tell me what a bitch she was already, her dirty mouth is attached to that guy there," Aman blurted non stop this time Arsalan couldn't control himself and gave a jaw-breaking punch to Aman who stumbled on the floor. Everyone looked flabbergasted including Ayat, they weren't able to interpret the situation.
"Don't call my sister bitch," Arsalan growled.
"Then what do I call her? hoe?" Aman said wiping the blood from his torn lip. Ayat saw Aman stumbling after calling her a bunch of blunt curses. Why was he doing that? Why was he bad mouthing her? What the hell went wrong?
Arsalan was about to knock him over for calling his sister a hoe, but Ahsan came between and stopped both men.
"Back off!" Ahsan shouted tearing the two apart, who were at each other's throats.
"See this," Aman showed him the picture. No matter how the whole world believed this Ahsan wouldn't even Arsalan believed it for a split second but Ahsan couldn't bring himself to agree this was his baby sister, she could never pull up a stunt like that, he knew her better.
Ayat's throat had constricted, she looked at everyone with popped eyes. She took steps, terribly trembling and looked at the phone in Aman's hand.
Ayat's whole world had crumbled down as she saw a picture of her and Maaz in that way. When she thought he couldn't ruin her anymore he did.
"Bhai I swear this isn't me," Ayat spoke in her defense. Ahsan nodded, knowing well that she was telling the truth.
"What are you guys talking about?" Aman's mother came forward, Aman didn't hesitate for a second before showing her that picture. Ayat looked at him with hurt evident in her eyes, she thought he loved her. How fake his words were, love and him bullshit, he had lied to her, love meant trust. Aman was a hoax.
Her aunt looked at her with eyes that told her nothing was going to go right. Haya and Mirha came beside her, all three of them had figured out who would have done this, they had expected that.
"I can't believe you did this," Ayat's Aunt looked at her with accusatory eyes.
"Khala I swear I didn't," Ayat said pleadingly, she saw her mother and father too seeing the picture. Her mother took a deep breath and came near her daughter. His father stood there with caresses of worry on his forehead. (Aunt)
"We should confirm at least," Ayat's mother suggested her older sister, in a respectable manner.
"Khala what is left to see now, your daughter has proven the character she has," Aman spit venom out of his mouth with each word he added about her character. (Aunt)
"Shame on you, you saw something and jumped to conclusions," Ahsan defended his sister.
"Stop defending your sister," Aman said. "Are you all blind?"
"This could easily be photo shopped," Ahsan told logically.
There was nothing to think about, Maaz had done it, he had proved the kind of psycho he claimed he was, he couldn't see her getting engaged to someone else, and he had to punish her for not listening to him on that day, he was sadistic in that way.
"All bullshit," Aman shouted.
"Aman," Aman's father said in a harsh tone to stop his son then turned to Ayat's father. "When you can prove that your daughter has no flaw then come to marry my son, or I will have to say sorry,"
"Amna, why aren't you saying anything you said that your daughter is my daughter, people don't behave like this with their daughters, they don't accuse them if you really need a proof to say my daughter is saying the truth then I don't think you really loved her or trusted her," Sara said to her sister.
"We have the proof right in front of us," Amna replied. "I don't think we need another set of lies, and both of you twins were always so stupid,"
"Baji, stop it, don't bad mouth my twin, she is dead," (sister)
Sara said. Ayat looked at her mother's face as if they were talking about some alien, and so were Arsalan, Ahsan and Aman and his sister Saira.
"She was my sister as well, Sara, I am not dissing you both, but telling you sometimes you need an eye opener, she is dead because she trusted that husband of hers, and you are trusting your daughter who does God knows what," Amna spoke with no guilt.
"Mom?" Ahsan went to his mother. "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing,"
Ayat didn't want to know what her mother and her aunt were bickering about all she knew was, this might have been lame in the eyes of her friends, but this was her choice, this is how she wanted to move on, and he'd ruined it.
"Khala, just listen to me once," She practically begged. Her aunt turned away her face, as if she couldn't stand her sight even. (Aunt)
"Ahsan bhai tell him," she said to his brother but he stayed unmoved, he hadn't seen Ayat like that begging for a man who was worthless, he knew something had broken her, but he didn't know what, why was she hell bent on marrying a useless man? In what kind of sadistic and self harming loop had she went in? But that was enough they'd complied with enough of her insane requests, they needed to put an end to this craziness.
"Aman please," Ayat had said. "Please marry me, please,"
"Enough Ayat beta," Her father came beside her. "Stop begging this man,"
"I don't want to hear Aman's name from your mouth anymore, do you understand?" Ahsan had firmly instructed her.
"I don't need this whore anyways," Aman spat in anger. Arsalan charged forward with a punch straight to that imbecile's nose.
"Leave before I kill you," Arsalan threatened, blood pouring in his eyes.
Ahsan took the ring out of his sisters finger and put it in Aman's. The damage was done, Maaz had successfully broken her once again, adding onto her list of nightmares, it didn't matter if the image was proved photo shopped, he'd left her incapable of thinking about betrothal of any kind, he'd achieved his goal, marked his territory once again, marked who she belonged to, it was his choice whether he used her, or kept her in some safe.
"What is for breakfast?" she brushed away the curt memory.
"We have espresso waffles with mocha drizzle, fried egg with hazelnuts, chanterelles, green garlic and black berries," Ahsan stopped. "Also Brennan's eggs, Mademoiselle,"
"He can't take a rest after coming back from France," Anaya said rolled her eyes. "He loved those fancy breakfasts,"
They had spent a week in France due to Ahsan's business meeting, he took his little family with him. They had a fun time exploring the place, and the culture, and to say the least, he was obsessed with Paris.
"We should go back there," He said sipping on his tea.
"Can't afford one more of your grumpy children" Arsalan mumbled.
"Admit it Arsalan you have a scary face, children are easily scared," Ahsan shrugged. Arsalan picked Mehmad up. At first his lips curled into a pout soon after little salivary bubbles started to erupt and then a long painful cry vibrated their ears.
"This kid hates me and so will each kid, I don't know what's their damn problem?" Arsalan complained like a teenage girl.
Ayat laughed. "Awe, don't be such a baby yourself, your kids will like you,"
"Yeah, yeah," He rolled his eyes.
"Or not," Ayat smirked. Their father laughed daintily, it was because how intimidating and serious Arsalan's face was. Arsalan smacked her head lightly.
"Bhai!" She said. "Don't you have some footballs to kick?"
"I do, but football isn't as fun since my nemesis left,"
"Who?" Her dad asked.
"Maaz" He said. Ayat avoided their gaze, tongue tied and frustrated. She exited the house immediately.
"Arsalan," Her father scolded Arsalan.
"What? I thought she forgot all about it," He answered in his defense.
"There's a lot she still remembers," Her father said. Something had happened and it'd left her in shambles, they didn't know what.
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.
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She drove to the hospital in silence, there were days her mind replayed everything from the moment she met Maaz to the moment he got her engagement to break, she knew it was him, he was the only one with the right motive and craziness, she was left confused every time. She knew she couldn't think about getting married or engaged, she was intelligent enough to know that after the last time, she hated him for it, the way he had her marked, she just didn't know if he'd ever show up or was just sadistic to never let her move on.
"Guys, guys, guys!" Amara, who was a slim girl with brown curls and thick rimmed glasses clapped her hands to drive everyone's attention to her side. She could very well be the BBC of the hospital. "We have been hearing the commotion of the hospital being sold, our new potential buyers will be here in a short time, so the seniors doctors need everyone to stay,"
"Even the morning ones?" Haya groaned.
Amara nodded her head in discontent. Haya had just finished her night shift, she though she'd have breakfast with her friends and be on the merry way home but all her plans had shattered. The only good thing going on in her life was that all her best friends, Haya, Mirha and Ali, all of them had made it as doctors, and even though the love part of her would always remain empty, her friends made the rest better, for her love life she was stuck in a horror movie of how to keep wanting without ever getting.
...
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Happy reading!