Chapter 36: Chapter 35

The storm clouds rolled through Anson’s eyes as I waited, blue and gray battling for dominance. He needed both, the shadow and the light, just like I’d said. But right now, I prayed the blue won and those flickers of life took hold.

“You make me want to reach for things I thought were dead and buried. You make me feel again,” Anson said, his hand gliding up my thigh to my waist. “Even if it’s pissing me the hell off.”

A laugh bubbled out of me. “Sometimes, we need a little anger to remind us there are still things we care about.”

Anson’s fingers slipped under my T-shirt, sliding across the bare skin of my belly. “I care about you, Rho. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t have a choice.”

I scowled down at him, and Anson burst out laughing. God, the sound was beautiful. Rich and deep with a rasp that had goose bumps rising on my skin in a way that told me all my nerve endings were paying attention.

“You know,” I began, my fingers tracing a figure eight over Anson’s heart, “some people might take exception to you saying that you didn’t want to care about them.”

He grinned, his teeth a flash of white in the low light as his hand skimmed higher, playing over my rib cage. “Or you could take it as a compliment. Not just anyone could smash through those walls.”

Warmth spread through me at that, a buzzy heat intensified by Anson’s exploring fingers. “But you have to want me there now,” I said softly, fear edging into my words. I wouldn’t force this on him. He had to want me to stay.

Anson’s eyes sparked. “Here is the only place I want you. And the only place I want to be.”

His hand skated higher, palming my breast. He groaned. “What is it with you and no underwear?”

I started to laugh, but it died in my throat as Anson found my nipple, his roughened thumb circling. My lips parted on a quick inhale. “Why would I wear the torture device that is a bra when I’m in my own home?”

“Fair point,” Anson said, his voice deepening.

It seemed he wasn’t in any rush, content to just revel in the feel of me. I arched deeper into his hand, needing more pressure, more contact.

“Even your skin’s responsive,” he murmured, transfixed. He skated a fingertip over the swell of my breast. “The way it pebbles when you like something.” His thumb swiped around my nipple again. “The way it tightens, trying to get closer.”

My breaths came quicker—short, staccato pants.

“I could watch your body react for hours on end just to figure out the pattern.”

I stared down at him. “Profiling me?”

Anson chuckled, low and throaty. “Maybe. I could get behind this sort of breakdown.” He stared at his hand working beneath my tee. “Do you like this?”

He kneaded my breast, not too hard, but not too soft. The kind of pressure that made you sit up and pay attention.

“Or this?”

His thumb and forefinger twisted my nipple.

A gasp left my lips as I rocked my hips against his on instinct.

“She likes a little pain with her pleasure,” Anson growled.

I licked my lips, which suddenly felt as dry as a desert. “It’s always that delicate balance, isn’t it? The pain drives the pleasure higher.”

Anson’s hand slipped from mine, and he grabbed the hem of my T-shirt, pulling it up and over my head and sending it floating to the floor. “Wouldn’t mind exploring that with you.”

The cool night air sweeping in through an open window only made my body feel hotter, the juxtaposition acute.

Anson simply stared at me, taking in every detail. His fingertips traced over my breast and down my sternum. He took a detour to my side, tracing the scars the fire had left behind. “Your beauty scalds, Reckless. Anyone who’s ever had the pleasure of looking at you will never be the same.”

Breath caught in my throat. “Anson.”

“Everything about you is made to burn into a man’s brain. And I’ll never get tired of staring.” He rose, coming closer. “Or tasting.”

Anson closed the distance, taking my nipple into his mouth and sucking it deep. I ground into him, feeling him hardening beneath me. It was a surge of power, knowing that my touch and taste made him react this way.

Anson’s teeth grazed the bud, and I let out a whimper. He smiled against my flesh as he released me. “Wonder if I could make you come just like this. Just teasing these pretty nipples over and over, bringing you to the brink.”

I rocked my hips against him as wetness gathered between my thighs.

He let out a growl, his hands dropping to my hips. “Reckless…”

A devilish smile rose to my lips. “You play, I get to play.”

Anson’s breaths sped up as I rocked, my eyes fluttering closed and then open as I moved. He appeared in my vision in beautiful snapshots. Such adoration there. Reverence, even. And my traitorous heart hoped for more, even if I wasn’t sure he could give it.

“Rho,” he groaned.

I reached down, grabbed his T-shirt, and tugged it off. The moment I tossed it behind me, my hands were on him. I hadn’t gotten the chance to explore before. Not really. My fingers ghosted over tanned skin.

His chest rose and fell in rapid pants as I traced his nipple and ventured lower. The ridges of his abdominals should be illegal. But the fact that they came from hard work instead of hours in the gym only made me want to worship them more.

“You keep touching me like that, and I’m gonna come in my pants like a thirteen-year-old,” Anson growled.

There’d be a certain power in that, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Not what I needed.

I stood then, letting the cool air hit me. My fingers dropped to the waistband of my sweatpants, and I slowly slid them down. There wasn’t even a flicker of unease or uncertainty. Because Anson made me comfortable showing him everything.

I slid one leg out and then the other. Then I simply stood there, letting him look his fill.

Anson stroked a hand over himself through the thin cotton of his joggers, just watching. “Dreamed of getting all of you. Never dreamed it would be this good.”

I took one step and then another.

Anson moved in a flash, shucking his joggers and then reaching out for me. He lifted me as if I weighed nothing until he was lying back on the couch, and I was hovering over him. Then he cursed. “Condom.”

I grabbed his arms. “I’m on the pill. And I’ve been checked.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “There hasn’t been anyone in a long time. And, fuck, I want to feel all of you. Everything.”

God, I wanted that, too.

So, I moved, hovering over him, so close I ached.

Anson’s fingers tightened on my hips, guiding me down.

The first hint of him had everything in me tightening, yearning for everything to come, for all of him. And then there was more. My eyes watered as I sank down, the stretch a delicate balance of pleasure and pain.

And I only wanted more.

Anson’s hand slid up my body to my neck and finally tangled in my hair. His grip was gentle and forceful all at the same time. And I wanted more. More of both. More of him. The darkness and the light.

As I sank fully onto him, a gasp left my lips. So full. So everything.

“Heaven and hell,” Anson gritted out. “Never felt anything better.”

My hips began to rock, and he groaned.

“Killing me.”

Anson gave me control, letting me find my rhythm in my time, to adjust to all of him and find my way back to us.

My hands moved to his chest, using it for purchase to slide up and down. I took him deeper with each pass, my back arching.

He met me then, in the gray that was us, the mixture of light and dark.

Anson’s restraint snapped, and he gripped my hips so hard I’d carry marks tomorrow. Marks I craved. I met him thrust for thrust, taking him deeper than I thought possible.

My thighs burned, and my muscles quaked as I reached for more. Anson groaned as he arched into me, hitting the spot that had light dancing across my vision. My inner walls tightened, beckoning him.

“Rhodes.” His hold on me seized. “Eyes on me. I need it.”

So, I gave it to him. Forcing my eyes open, I locked them on Anson. I watched everything play across his face as my hips shifted. I didn’t lose him as everything in me shattered. As I spasmed around him, taking all he had to give.

Anson came on a shout, pounding into me as I met him in every moment, every shadow. And as I collapsed onto his chest, I knew that all I would ever want was the murky gray in this twilight of us, where the sparks of feeling shone brighter than the sun on a summer day.