Yuvaani
It was already seven thirty in the morning, we four were sipping our morning tea. All of the sudden our talks were interrupted by baby cries and I was about to get up, but Aarush said he'll look after it. I smiled and sat down on the sofa again. I like the fact that he didn't want to bother me while having my meals or beverages.
He came out taking both of them, as I know if one of them woke up, the other one would automatically wake, hear the sibling cry. Maa and Papa wished them a very happy birthday and kissed them out of no limits! I guess that's how grandparents are, they love their grandchildren even more than their own children.
I was done with my tea now, and was getting up to keep the cup in the kitchen but again we heard the cries. "Don't go out of their gaze, they want to see you," Maa said. It's true tho, I read it on the phone.
I nodded and assured her, taking Pihu from her. I knew my baby boy's gaze was following me, but let's tease him a little. I smiled internally. Because I know Ansh will cry.
I sat on the sofa and hid my face in Pihu's torso and did a furrrr by my lips on her tummy, to which she obviously giggled out. And I saw Ansh's lips twitching and his chin wobbling! As expected, not in a minute more he began crying. Aarush held him but he wiggled to get out of his hold and he crawled to me. I picked him up and showered kisses on him.
I love this jealous baby!
At least someone is possessive for me.
While holding my face he slapped me, his anger I guess!
Then Pihu also stood up on my lap and began gripping my face and she too slapped me. She's taking revenge on her brother I guess! But I obviously didn't mind it. "Hey! What's wrong with you two? Hm?" Aarush sat next to me and uttered those words, gaining their attention. They explained him in their baby-ish language, muttering coherent words.
"Yeah, yeah I understand that. But you shouldn't hit mumma" He debated again.
Something unexpected happened!
I felt an electrifying wave in my stomach, felt like churning the organs and somewhat ticklish! Happens everytime when he calls me mumma talking to them. Their debate got along and he caught their attention and now they moved to him and are pulling his hair and laughing.
"Happy Birthday baccho" I said and moved to them and kissed Pihu first and when I moved to Ansh that mischevious boy hid his face in his father's shoulders and I fucking faced Aarush closely!!!!
"Um- a-" I immediately pulled myself back and practically walked at my fastest speed to our room!
These babies naa!!!
I quickly took a bath and got ready. I felt quite light today. I felt happy. Today I wore my light pastel orange anarkali and accessorized it with my jhumkas and a thin ring. This ring won't hurt the babies as it's just a simple artificial ring with nothing added on it. Nothing protruded or sharp edges in it that would hurt my kids, so it was safe to wear. A slight makeup and ready to go.
While I was taking a bath, I saw Aarush already in his office attire, rechecking his files and keeping them in his folder. "Aarush" I called him out. I saw his gaze lifting up at me while he was feeding the babies. His eyes- his eyes were a little softer than usual. His brown eyes, with fully grown lashes and a soft gaze- What a combination! I'd be lying if I say I didn't love his eyes. His eyes literally talks more than his lips ever will. I lingered my gaze down to his nose. Perfectly well-defined nose he has! All pinpointed. His li- I would not talk about that. But his trimmed beard- my god! Complementing his fair skin than anyone's words ever will. I matched his gaze again and he took a quick scan of my attire and he locked the gaze again. I felt shy as he wasn't taking his gaze down then I averted my gaze from him.
God!!!
My breath strucked seeing him too. Something was different in him today! His shirt- his fucking shirt is so distracting. Not-so-appreciable thoughts crept into my mind as I saw the second button of his shirt. I shouldn't be thinking this!
Thinking of him. Shirtless.
I rapidly raised my eyes to match his, shooing myy thoughts away. But his gaze- don't make me note the hints Aarush. Otherwise, I would note your every move as a hint. And at last, I'll be the one getting hurt. I don't want that.
"You called?" he asked in his deep voice.
"Um- ha- yeah" why the fuck am I sluttering? I saw his lips turning into a short smile. It was a micro smile, I would notice only if I paid attention to it.
"Aaj aap jaldhi ghar aayenge?" I asked
[ Will you be returning early today?]
"Okay" he said
"Maa had made the breakfast, have it and I fed the kids too," he added, looking towards his babies.
"Okay" I affirmed.
He turned to go but I asked him again "Can you come till 5?" I asked.
"I'll try to" he said and wore his shoes, took his bag and kissed the babies one by one.
Will I be lucky enough to get it one day?
"You're looking beautiful" he said while moving out of the door, as he knew I followed him to the door daily.
"Thank you" I said and closed the door behind him. I felt heat near my ears as he complimented me.
I came in and Papa wanted to take babies to the ground in our society, just for a walk and I helped him to settle them in the stroller and he went. I quickly had my breakfast and I was glad Maa was making breakfast daily and it just kind of reduced my work.
We'll be having guests at our place in the evening for our celebration, so we quickly had cooked a light lunch for us and we were engrossed in the preparation of the evening. Soon papa came back and I breastfed them and put them to sleep, and continued the dinner preparation.
It was almost four thirty and Aarush called me that he'll be back in half an hour and I was okay with it. It deep down raced my heart that how will he react when he'll come to know why I called him this soon.
He came and relaxed on the sofa, while I went to maa and said that we're going out to buy something. I made my steps towards him and asked whether we can go out now. Without any question he took the car keys and we made our way to the car.
We sat down and now he buckled his seatbelt and placed his hand over the steering wheel calmly waiting for me to address where to go.
"Aarush, please listen to me once. This is important" I announced and he looked up to me as he was asking me to continue.
"I think we should see a therapist-"
"Yuvaani phir wahi baat" he intruppted me.
[ Again the same thing ]
"Aarush therapist ke pass jaane wale pagal nahi hote hai. If you think that way. It's just not normal to get a panic attack out of no where"
[ The people who see therapist aren't mentally retrained]
"I know where the panic attack was from. And it was not out of no where"
"Then tell me, where it was from?" I demanded folding my hands in front of him.
"I don't want to talk about it"
"See. This is the thing! You don't want to talk about it. Which results in internal turmoil and-"
"I don't want to Yuvaani. Please don't force me."
"Aarush kab tak emotions chupate rahoge aap? You never vented out, for god's sake! It has been almost a year and you never spoke your heart out! Today if you won't take this step, your turmoil will collect itself within you and someday or the other when everything will be going fine, it'll burst out in front of children. They'll not know what this is. They'll ask you. What will you reply? You'll scold them to shut up?"
He kept mum. And I placed a hand over his.
"I know you're a good father. But as a human, you're carrying too much emotional baggage from your past, Aarush. Aur itna bhaar uthake chaloge toh zyada der tak nahi chal paaoge"
[ And if you carry this heaviness, you won't be able to carry it for long ]
He put a head down on the steering wheel.
"I'll be with you. Just get lighter Aarush. Let it go. Take a step towards a healthy you" I rubbed his back lightly and I heard faint snuffs from him.
He settled upright and egnited the engine.
"Where to?" He asked.
I showed him the phone. We reached it soon. We just parked the car and I was waiting for him to step out of the car. Whereas I unbuckled my seatbelt.
"You too want that I should forget her" he said with a dull voice, looking straight towards the surroundings through the glass.
"Oh my god! Noo!!!" I reflexed.
"I don't mean that. I've told you earlier too. You can never forget her and shouldn't either. I just want you to lighten your heart-" I couldn't continue as he lifted his gaze to me
"It's okay. We should go back home. I'm sorry if you felt that way" I said while buckling the seatbelt again.
I know it's difficult for him. I shouldn't force him either. He needs to let it go. But not forcefully. But by himself. When he wants to.
I saw him stepping out of the car and waiting for me. I quickly got out and stood next to him, obviously maintaining a good distance.
"You don't have to force yoursel-"
"I want to. Let's go" he said and I followed him. We took the appointment and the next number was ours.
"I'm with you" I said and he just simply nodded. I can assume by seeing him that an internal war must be going on within him. But only you can fight it, Aarush. No one else can fight that for you. Even if I can't, even if I want to.
His turn came and he took just half an hour to talk with that therapist. Which was shocking to me. I assumed that it would take an hour or two.
He rapidly went to the car and I followed him.
"How was it?" I asked timidly unsure if I should ask or not.
"Terrible" he uttered.
"We can stop it, if you didn't want to" I assured him that I'm on his side.
"But you said you're by my side" he uttered disappointedly.
"I am," I said.
"We should continue this. Maybe it's for the better. And we began it on an auspicious day. Their birthday"
"You sure?" I asked again to which he just nodded.
While driving he looked tense. I asked him and he said "Priya's parents are also coming today."
"Hmm, we can't do anything about it. They have rights for their grandchildren too" I said.
But I don't want to get humiliated again.
"Don't worry. They won't say anything unhealthy this time. And I am with you."
"Hmm" I agreed with him.
Soon, we got back home and I saw my parents already there. I looked at Aarush with furrowed brows.
"Maa invited them," he said.
I just went to the kitchen and I don't know what to do! I don't want to face them. I saw him coming to me.
"I guess, we both need to work on our insecurities." He uttered and I got what he meant. He wanted me to talk to my parents.
I timidly went into the living room and my mother took me in for a hug.
"What's wrong with you? Why aren't you taking my calls? Are you fine?" She bombarded me with questions and I saw tears in her eyes.
But I felt nothing. I looked at him and he assured me to take it in consideration. I wiped her tears and asked her to sit and gave her water.
"Talk to me" she cried out and I- felt hurt. for hurting her intentionally. All the emotions just frickled back in a second when I actually saw my mother in pain. I was in no condition to voice anything out, I just hugged her. Soon, everything went normal and guests began coming in. I quickly changed my attire, but before that I fed my babies.
His friends came and greeted me and spoke about various things, and they felt quite friendly and comfortable, like him. I saw Priya ji's parents coming through the door and my body lightly stiffened.
"Don't worry, '' Atharv said who is Aarush's friend to which I just nodded.
I saw a girl who was in her late twenties coming towards Aarush and hugging him tightly. He too hugged her back, and caressed her hair.
"How are you Uttu?" he asked and I heard it. I know I was eavesdropping but I don't find anything bad in that.
"I'm good, Jiju. You tell me, where are my babies??" She asked with full excitement.
"There" he pointed towards me, actually behind my back. He saw me and called me. I went to him and then he introduced me to that girl, Uttara. Priya's sister. We just exchanged greetings and she told me that she heard all good about me, which I mentally contradicted. How can she hear good things about me? Her parents find me as their enemy. But yes, Uttara found to be a genuine person, and she has good vibes.
It all went as a silent yet good affair. So far. We cut the cake. Aarush and I held their mini hands and made them cut the cake, fed them, then distributed it to everyone. I saw him getting occupied with guests. I know it's his kids birthday, he needs to attend everyone. I saw Sanskar coming with two large boxes in his hands. I welcomed him in, and made him comfortable. He asked me if he could see the babies and I paved his way through it.
"Hello birthday babies! See what I brought for you" he said in his childish excited voice and they turned to him. He went near them and kissed them lightly.
"They're cute," he complimented.
"Yeah" I said, and I began talking to him as I had no one to talk to. My parents were talking with Aarush's mother. Aarush and his dad were talking to Priya's family. His friends were talking amongst themselves. I was left with Sanskar. So yes, he was my friend too.
We spoke about different things and I was simultaneously feeding the babies too. Soon, it was dinner time and Sanskar too got engaged in talks with Aarush's friends and I was just hoping nothing would go wrong.
"Sanskar" I muttered slowly so only he can oly hear it. He looked at me and his gaze encouraged me to say further.
"I can sense something bad is going to happen" I uttered honestly.
"Why?" he asked. I asked him to accompany me to the corner of the living room so that no one could hear us. He obeyed me truthfully.
"Priya's parents are here, and last time-"
"I know" he cut me off.
"Hmm, that's why" I said.
"Don't worry, I am here. I'll leave after they leave. Nothing will go wrong, just don't think that way, we nver know when the universe is listening"
"Thank you"
I took a glance at the kids, they're playing peacefully with Aarush's friends' children. Their wives are also good, just like them. I took a glance of Aarush and he was already looking at me. He looked good tho, white shirt, black trousers, half rolled sleves, first and collar button unbuttoned, oerfect hair and whatnot. He's the definition of masuline beauty, no doubt.
Soon, people began fading out to their homes and yeah, unknowingly the universe did hear me. While Priya's parents were going, her mother said "She cannot take my Priya's place"
"Mumma, No one on this Earth can take her place. And Yuvaani isn't even trying to replace her. She's a good woman"
"You don't know, Aaru. These girls are just like that. She saw your money, property, and two innocent kids who can be her slaves in future"
"MUMMA!!! I told you na, she isn't like that. She's selfless. Just like Priya. She's not impersonating her place!! For God's sake! She don't even know her"
"You forgot my daughter. I knew it. This woman-" This time she had tears in her eyes.
"Mumma, don't say anything to her. And she's my wife! Please. I won't tolerate anything about her"
"Yeah, that's what-" the old lady uttered again
"Maa, let it be. You don't know her personally." Uttara voiced her disappointment in her mother.
"Yeh ladki barbad kar degi Aarush tumhe. Aur jab tak tumhe yeh pata chalega, tab tak bohot der ho chuki hogi. Tumhare bacche-"
"PLEASE LEAVE." He joined his hands in front of them, and roughly asked them to leave, later closed the door behind him, and he turned back to see me. His eyes widened a bit but I averted my gaze from him.
It was just Sanskar who was present, as the guest. Other guests had retiered to their homes. Maa and Papa were making Twins sleep and here I was. Again in tears.
"Vaani-" Sanskar muttered.
"I think you should leave, Sanskar. We'll talk later"
"But-"
"Please" I showed my palm to him.
"Okay" He came and hugged me and disappeared through the door.
Aarush locked the door of the living room, as there were no guests now.
"Vaani-" he stepped towards me.
"Let's just talk tomorrow" I told him and I didn't care to even change my outfit before sleep.