Chapter 40: 𝟑𝟖. 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Yuvaani

I stilled hearing his words. He wants me to talk to my parents? I swallowed a lump of uneasiness growing inside my throat. I didn’t want to-

Suddenly I felt warmth spreading on my palm. I looked there and he took my palm in his. “Vaani, I understand”

“No, you don’t-” I tried to make my point but I felt the heaviness growing in my throat which made my words die in my throat itself.

“Trust me, I do. I too cut off people and thought they don’t understand me. And maybe they don’t. But I’ve went though this.” his grip grew tighter on my palm, reassuring me. I looked in his eyes and searched the lie, to hide myself behind it. I didn’t want me to be the emotional victim here. His eyes look concerned. He indeed was saying the truth.

“The longer we carry the emotional baggage, the harder it gets to walk further” he added. His words gripped my heart and my eyes welled up. “I don’t want to- Aarush-” I sobbed and he brought me to his chest as I’m a part of him. He took me in his warm embrace and put his chin over my head, hugging me tightly.

“It’s alright, Vaani. Completely your decision. I was just trying to-” his words disappeared as I broke the hug and parted us, looking straight in his eyes.

“Aarush, I know- you-you faced more than me, emotionally. And- and you are doing so well in minimum amount of time you got. You are almost healed- you accepted me-”

“I ain’t healed. I am trying to” he cut me off looking deep in my eyes, I averted mine. I can’t think straight. I think he’s asking me to do what he did. Make peace with them? I don’t want to-

“Look at me” his tone was soft, but I didn’t. Why am I feeling like I am the wrong one here, and he’s right one? Because he accepted his reality, his losses? And here I am, can’t even forgive my parents?

He made me look at him, lifting my chin with his index finger and thumb. It felt ike blood flushed in my body and adrenaline took a spike. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, tighter than ever. Digging my face between the crook his neck and shoulder. It was the moment for me that I could even die for him, just because he did that chin thing!

I gripped his shirt tighter, and felt his grip on my waist getting tighter too. Baby!

“It’s okay, I would never bring this topic again. I’m sorry” he said slightly rubbing my back to pacify me.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled as I lift my face from his skin and put my chin over his shoulder.

“Don’t be, it’s okay” I heard him and detached us again,but our hands were still on each other’s bodies, as they were. We looked at each other and shared an unknown emotion. I want to be selfish here. I may be wrong- but me and Aarush, this close- rare moment. I didn’t want his closeness to end. I wanted him, forever, like this.

I stopped thinking. Fuck it, we ball! And I leaned in.

I waiter for one, two, three, fou- four seconds! And he leaned in. As he had his hand on my waist, he pulled it closer, more to him. And his another hand at the back of my head, like pushing me more against his face. I put my right hand in his hair and hugged him by my left hand, around his shoulder.

Our kiss grew intense as he changed the angle devouring and rushing more into it. We nibbled, bit and sucked each other. As I was gasping hard due to short of breath, I parted. But who knew it was just a three second break! He pulled me again and, this time, he made me sit on his laps. OMG! His lap-

My torso touched his, and I moaned harder when he held my waist and gave me a slight push in him.

Aarushhhhhhhhh!

He’s hard, and I got wet just by the realisation of what he did. We ended the kiss and he hugged me tighter, not letting me fall. His face touched my skin, below my neck. Which was bare dur to the long round neck suit I wore today. And, I hugged his neck.

“Vaani” he said in his deep husky voice giving me shivers down the spine. I felt so coy looking at him due to our intense make out session, which was more than just a kiss!

“I think-” he uttered and paused knowing I was not looking at him.

“Eyes on me, baby” he whispered in my ears, intentionally touching his lips on my earlobe, and I blushed!

That was hot!

I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his. “I think- I’ve- I-”

“Say it clearly” I encouraged him.

“I think I’ve developed feelings for you”

“What?” it came to me as a shock.

“Are you saying this because we kissed-” I added

“Hell no!!!” he denied loudly clearly annoyed by how I think.

“It’s not just- It’s been a while. I think of you, I like to be around you. I like when you do things for us. I like- you”

“Really?” I asked as my heart explored with happiness.

“Yes, It felt so right with you. Your presence soothes me” he said while nuzzling my neck making me feel ticklish, and I giggled.

“I like when you laugh, and I love it when its because of me” he uttered.

Aww! That’s so cute words put together. I already love you, Aarush!

“Thank you for initiating it. I felt my feelings are reciprocated. And I thought this might be the right moment to tell you. Else, I thought you hate me!”

“I could never hate you”

“Even you got hurt because of me?”

“Even after that. It’s hard to not feel whatever I feel for you, Aarush” I said caressing his cheek.

“You are always there for me, thank you” he thanked me.

“You are there too”

“Hmm, but the way I liked it when you moaned”

Listening his words my eyes widened and I hit him on his arm. He laughed lightly and put beside him. Soon we did out dinner and went to our bed. We were cuddled up knowingly, for the very first time. And I felt good that those moments with him draw me closer to him. I’m proud of myself I took the initiative.

—

It has been a week, Aarush has begun working again and his face lits up when he’s working for himself. He told me after he presented his idea to their company and presentations, they are willing to work with him. That day, the glow evident on his face spoke volumes. He even brought me my favorite garlic bread while returning. Our kids tore and snatched the bread in the place fighting for it and Aarush was like- This was for your mom! I brought you these!!

And what he brought for them? Diapers.

The kids paid no heed to him and immersed themselves in garlic bread fight! It was fun to watch tough, I think they liked it’s taste. I’ll make them when they can eat it fully. For now, we gave them bits by bits.

I’m happy. I’m getting to see playful Aarush! From that day our equations changed for good. We turned more comfortable and kissed often. It seemed that I found a new version of Aarush who’s addicted to kisses! Not that I’m complaining, I enjoy equally as him.

He just randomly kisses, hugs or smooches whenever he passes by. This as the spark missing in our relationship, initially. I’m content, that I didn’t gave up on this otherwise this wouldn’t be my part to experience.

It’s actually right when people say time changes. It can’t be same forever. If you are happy you are bound to face lows. And if you are at your lows, the graph will definitely go up. Nothing is constant and monotonous. If it was, then life would be boring!

Like now, we are enjoying our lives. Aarush is grabbing new opportunities, our babies are growing and learning new words, Maa, Papa are also content. And who am I to be sad when I have a loving husband?

“Yuvaaaani!!!!!” Aarush shouted!

“Uh- what?” I came out of my daze when I saw him in front of me.

“Where are you lost? I’m talking to you”

“Uh- sorry”

“So I’m asking you when are you resuming your work?”

“Soon”

“Why not now?”

“Because I’m not feeing like it”

“Is it because of them?” he asked hugging me from behind and placing his chin on my shoulder and pointing towards our kids who were playing with each other in their cots.

“No!”

“It’s because of them.”

“I don’t want to work this soon. Please let me have my time as a mother, because our kids will never be this little again! Enjoy the moment!”

“That I am” He whispered in my ear significantly touching his lips, and placing a soft kiss on my neck.

“I’ll make them sleep, you sleep. You must be tired running behind them! They’re just growing naughtier day by day”

“Haha! But they’re cute! You make them sleep and I’ll freshen up till then and join you”

—

Also when Aarush showed faith in me, he wants he to be a step closer to heal. He wanted us to heal together. And that day I called my parents and talked to them. Not much, just asked about their well being and random things going on. My mom busted in tears when she was talking to me. And I realized I did bad. Guilt was surfing through me and it was the moment Aarush took my palm in his and gave it a light squeeze. He always fulfills the true essence of being a partner. I couldn’t be more grateful to have him with me.

I myself called them because, I knew Aarush was with me. He instilled a sense of confidence in me. Even, I feel confident just by the fact that he’s with me. I feel like, if he’s with me I can conquer anything.