Chapter 73: A New Contract
In the end, Razia didnât run. She couldâve claimed it was out of guilt and because she wanted to do the right thing, and that wouldnât have been a lie, but it wasnât the whole truth either. The sad fact was that it was just impractical to run. The day after an incursion from southern gangs, Cicero was liable to be getting every bit of information he could and watching all the ways in and out of the city. Razia mightâve been able to do it with enough shards to bribe or smuggle her way out, but ever since moving in with Quentin she didnât keep much money on hand. With him paying for almost everything, stealing from him in order to get away from facing him wouldâve been bad, even for her.
So instead, Razia did the best she could. She cleaned herself up, got something small to eat, and planned ahead for possible consequences. It was calming, in a way. Either Quentin would kick her out and theyâd be done, or he wouldnât. She couldnât see him doing any worse than that. Quentin was many things, but cruel was not one of them. Not like her, with her need to tweak the noses of people who annoyed her.
Cicero worried her more. Sheâd paid dearly for his initial protection, and then more and more in information along the way. How far would that go? Powerful men had little reason to stick to any deals that were no longer benefiting them. There was always the risk of losing face at canceling a standing agreement, but that only mattered when the person they betrayed was important. It was doubtful any of the major players of the North Orchrisus Underworld would give a shit if Cicero just handed Razia over to Piro to save himself the headache.
But that was a problem for later. It would happen or it wouldnât, there was nothing she could do now. Nothing until Quentin came back home and she found out what was going to happen to them. For now, all she could do was distract herself and keep going on. Razia spent a few minutes in front of the mirror, making sure she didnât look too tired, too battered, or like she had been crying. She put on different smiles until she found the right one, tired but relaxed. Then she headed over to the Garden.
It was close to noon, but none of the girls were out of their rooms. Usually at this point at least Jenna would be out there and taking up half a couch on her own and there would be one or two people talking or eating something before going out for a bit. Maybe they were already gone. Maybe they were looking for some place else to work so this didnât happen again. Either way, Razia had her mess to clean up before she could worry about that.
One of the Warlords died there the night before. His body had already been removed but there was a long, dark streak where the coppers dragged his body out for identification and transportation. She shouldnât have been surprised that they made more work for her, but she was. Maybe she even deserved the trouble. This was yet another dead body because of her. Not that she would weep over a dead Warlord. Sighing, Razia grabbed a bucket and a sponge and filled it with water and soap from the kitchen.
Truth be told, Razia had minimal experience cleaning anything, let alone dried up blood. Thereâd always been other people to do that. When scrubbing seemed to do nothing, she dumped the soapy water all over the floor and went to refill the bucket, hoping the water would help soften up the mess. She got on her hands and knees and worked at a small spot on the floor, wincing at how big the task was. If she wasnât going to run, then she had to clean up after herself.
Fifteen minutes later one of the doors opened. Samantha came out and stood over Razia while she worked. Razia looked up and greeted her but went back to her task. She was making some headway now, even if it was going to take her all day sheâd do it. Samantha didnât say anything at first. She went into the storage room and came out with another sponge and joined Razia on the ground, silently scraping the rough material against the tiles.
She wasnât the only one. Lucy eventually came out, as did Jenna. When they saw what Razia and Samantha were up to, they joined in without saying a word. Even Jenna remained quiet as she worked. When Isa came out, she sat on a nearby loveseat instead. Razia looked up to see that the woman looked about as haunted as she herself felt. The dusk-girl stared off into space somewhere vaguely near them, but Razia didnât think she really saw them on the ground.
Little by little, the brown smear on the floor was wiped away. Without needing to be asked, Lucy dumped the bucket and came back with a fresh one, and then came back again with an armful of tattered rags they used to dry away the water and wipe away the last remnants of blood. After an hour of work, the spot was gone as if it was never there to begin with. Tired and wonderfully sore from the effort, Razia sat back on the floor, wiping away sweat.
âThank you girls,â she said, looking around. Lucy looked about as tired as she did, while Samantha mostly looked nervous. Jenna met her gaze, and Razia braced herself.
âWhat the fuck happened last night?â Jenna said.
âIsnât it obvious?â Isa said from her spot on the loveseat. âMore people came for Razia. How long is this going to keep happening?â
âWould you give her a break?â Samantha demanded. âItâs not like sheâs doing this on purpose.â
âNo Sam,â Razia put her hand on Samanthaâs arm. âSheâs right. This shouldnât be happening. If it hadnât been for Quentin, Iâd probably be dead right now. You all deserve better than this.â
âAnd where was Quentin?â Isa said, standing up. Normally so elegant and composed, her hair was frizzy and there was a wild look to her eyes. âYou said he was taking a personal night, but he shows up shortly after and then just arms up and rescues you? And weâre supposed to accept everything is fine?â
The other faces showed the same curiosity, the same need to know. Sighing, Razia looked down. âQuentin killed several of the men who invaded the Garden. Others were arrested, and most of the problem is already dealt with. Weâve got this under control.â
âUntil next time,â Isa scoffed.
âI donât want to seem like Iâm on Isaâs side,â said Jenna, earning a dirty look from Isa, âbut sheâs got a point. Whatâs going to stop them from trying again? What if they take more of us as hostages to make sure Mr. Q canât act?â
âMr. Q can handle it,â Samantha insisted. âHe did in the past, he did last night too. Weâre going to be just fine.â
Gods how she loved Samanthaâs faith in them. If only it was deserved. Razia climbed to her feet, smoothing out her dress. âHe shouldnât have to. This is my problem, and Iâm dealing with it. Iâm going to make sure this doesnât happen again.â
âYou say that,â Jenna pressed, âbut how? Isaâs right in that it keeps happening. Samanthaâs right in that Mr. Q keeps handling it. What exactly are you going to do to stop it from happening? What happens when Mr. Q decides that this is too much of a hassle and we have to go back to taverns? I mean, Iâve got some savings now, but I donât want to have to go back to sifting through shit at an inn when weâve got men with money and class coming for us now.â
âI donât want to have to find a new place to stay,â Lucy said, brushing her hair out of her eyes. âI like it here. I donât want things to change.â
This was the real cost of her actions, Razia reminded herself. These were good people, and all of her good intentions in the world didnât mean shit if they were the ones who were put at risk by her behavior. She wanted to do right by them, even as she kept failing them. Razia could outrun nearly any fire she started, but that didnât mean bystanders didnât get burned. She forced a smile and shrugged.
âMr. Ciceroâs not going to be happy about this. Iâm going to talk to him about having better vision on the bridges to prevent this from happening again. Or at least, to give us better warning. When Quentin gets back, heâll --â
âAnd where is he now?â Isa challenged. âAre we completely open in case your old friends care to try again? Or is he hiding in his room and feeling sorry for himself again?â
Razia took a deep, calming breath. âHe took a wound during last nightâs fights and heâs getting it patched up. I chose to stay home and clean up and check in on all of you. When he gets back he and I are going to figure out a long term plan.â Or heâd tell her to fuck off for good. Maybe she shouldâve felt bad for lying more, but they needed hope right now. They didnât need to know how close it all was to coming unraveled.
Footsteps echoed in the hall. Everyone looked up to see Quentin trudging his way in. He looked about as bad as Razia felt, run down and battered. His cloak hid the horrible wound on his shoulder, most of the way healed already, but Razia saw the way he carefully held himself to avoid aggravating it worse. What surprised her was the smell of alcohol coming off of him from several feet away.
âHey,â he said, coughing to clear his throat. His eyes slid over all of them, lingering on Razia and making her want to shrink. âIs everyone doing okay? Did anyone else get hurt?â
âJust scared,â Jenna said. âLast night was fucking terrifying. I mean, we had those two friends of yours to guard us but they just walked right in like they didnât matter!â
Quentin flinched, but nodded to show his understanding. âMy friends areâ¦were great at what they do. But we were expecting a few unruly clients at worst, not an invading force. Weâre not going to let it happen again and if it does, I promise that every single person who crosses us is going to end up dead or locked up for the rest of their miserable lives.â
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Razia blinked. Did that mean that he was still going to be doing this go forward? She wanted to hope, but the sinking feeling in her stomach wouldnât go away. This is what he was telling them, what would he tell her? Trying to read his expression was pointless. When it was just the two of them he wore every emotion on his sleeve, but he was putting on the same brave face she was.
âAre you okay, Mr. Q?â Lucy asked, coming up close. To her credit, she barely made a face at the way he smelled. âRazia said you got hurt.â
The smile he sent her way was real, at least. Real enough for Razia to be hopeful. Lucy was one of the girls he liked best, and she couldnât picture him abandoning her. âYeah, but it wasnât too bad. Iâll live. But you can consider this a good time for another three days or so off of work while we figure things out. Thatâs actually what Iâm here for. Razia and I need to talk.â His inscrutable gaze fell to her.
That sinking feeling in her stomach plummeted. There was no getting out of this. She nodded to him. âWe should probably go do that as soon as possible. Weâre going to do everything in our power to make sure this doesnât happen again and the Garden will be run smoothly and safely.â
âWe know youâre good for it,â Samantha said, puffing up. The redhead looked like she believed it, too. Not for the first time, Razia was amazed that Orchrisus could produce someone that soft and kind and good, when the rest of them were worn down or warped by the city.
Razia went up to Quentinâs side. He nodded to her and they left together. Razia looked over her shoulder to see Isa glaring daggers at them. That wasnât new so much as something she thought they were done with. The past month and a half had done wonders for the Ramali womanâs temperament and now it was back to square one. Whatever, she had bigger problems to worry about.
She followed Quentin back through the garden and the courtyard to their home, and right back onto the lounger where they had spent so many hours talking. He sat down on one side of it facing outwards, and she sat down on the other side. He shrugged out of his cloak and Razia winced at the sight of his shoulder. It was red and swollen, but if it was as bad as he said it was it looked damned good now.
âQuentin, Iâm really sorry,â she started. âWhat happened was completely unacceptable and --â
âI think I want to do the talking,â he said, surprising her. âYou talk a lot more than I do. Itâs my turn.â
Razia swallowed and gestured for him to continue while trying to bury the feeling of panic clawing its way out of her. She owed him this much, at least. Whatever his decision was, there was no running away. Sheâd face it and deal with it, and then what happened would happen.
âWhat youâve done is not okay,â he said. âNot getting people killed, not helping out gangsters, not lying toâ¦basically everyone you talk to. You really have a problem, and I donât know if youâre going to change. I donât know if you even can change or if this is just who you are.â Quentin didnât sound angry so much as tired and resigned.
âI donât know how I could possibly trust you again after all of this. If I just take it and we move on, whatâs to stop you from doing this again at the first opportunity? My gut is telling me to just tell you to leave and for me to walk away from all of this.â Razia shrank with every new word. She thought of what she could say or do to plead that he not punish the girls because of her. Then he surprised her. âBut the worst part is I canât.â
Quentin laughed bitterly and buried his face in his hands. âYouâre good at what you do, and part of me hates you for it. I canât just walk away. What would I even do? Iâm retired at the Colosseum now and after last night I donât think Amicus is going to ask me for any more favors. How could I just sit around drinking myself into a stupor after Iâve gotten to live for a bit? How could I throw you out when youâre the only thing thatâs made me feel good about myself?
âYou may be a terrible liar Razia, but youâve kept your most important promise to me.â Quentin turned towards her, expression softening. âYouâve shown me what life could be like, how to have more fun, and how to be a person around others again instead of justâ¦hiding and waiting to die. For as much a fucking mess of a person as you are, youâreâ¦you. Remember when you first cornered me in here? You asked me what I wanted. Ask me again, Razia.â
Hope stirred in her chest. Sheâd remained silent as he requested, but as he went on and the pain gave way to hope, she wanted to latch onto it and give her side of things, encourage him, do everything in her power to guide things towards an outcome she wanted. It looked like she wouldnât have to do that. âAlright, Mr. Q,â she said, unable to resist smiling at him. âWhat do you want?â
He moved closer to her, until their knees were touching. âI want to keep going.â he said, icy blue eyes locked on hers. âIf Iâm going to be a high end pimp, I want to have the best whorehouse in all of Orchrisus. If weâre going to keep this place safe, I want to figure out how to make it happen so that none of my girls get hurt. And that includes you. Iâ¦I want you, Razia. But I donât want to be your muscle of the month until you run away again, and I donât want to be your charity project.â
âYou arenât,â said Razia, unable to stay silent. âYou were never my charity project. Well,â she amended, shrugging, ânot after the first night. That first night, I really did want to see what I could do to make you feel better, give you just a little moment of happiness. It wasnât out of pity. It was compassion, andâ¦pride, I guess, that I could make it happen. After that? Everythingâs been real. I havenât been playing with you Quentin. Ask me what I want.â
Quentin studied her. âAlright. What do you want, Razia?â
Maybe she couldâve given a speech or pleaded her case, or done any number of things to say she was sorry and that she wanted much the same as him. It wouldnât have had quite the same punch as showing it all. So Razia gathered all of her hopes, her affection, her dreams of the future, the combined weight of a couple of months of growing closer and closer. She grabbed Quentin by the front of his tunic and pulled him in to kiss her.
He didnât fight her this time. It was like on the bridge, something tentative and cautious, seeking more. She broke away, stomach fluttering as she just let her words come tumbling out without restraint or any plans guiding them. âI want you. You. Youâve spent so much time hating yourself and hiding that you donât even see what kind of man you are. Youâre good, Quentin.â She laughed, shaking her head and leaned against him. âAfter everything youâve been through, you could easily be the worldâs biggest bastard. But you arenât. Youâ¦you make me want to be a better person.â
Quentin shook his head and opened his mouth to protest but Razia put a finger against his lips. âNone of that self deprecating crap. I want to keep going, and to do better. I want to do it at your side. With you in charge,â she said, ignoring the way her worst self screamed at the loss of control. âYouâll have me and I can help you plan, but what you say goes.â
âAnd no more lies,â he said pointedly.
âAnd no more lies,â Razia promised. All of her anxieties melted away and she was left with this happy, giddy wave that made her want to cry more than his anger did. âWeâll talk to Cicero and make this right. Weâll beat Piro and build something great. You and me.â
He smiled, but then something occurred to him and he pulled away. âIfâ¦If weâre going to be a thing, then I want it to be a real thing. I donât want to be an afterthought, or just one of many. I donât want to ask you to stop what youâre doing, because I donât think itâs bad butâ¦â
There it was. Razia couldnât help but laugh. It always came down to this with men, and it was something she supposed she couldnât blame them for, even if it wasnât the same for her. âYou want me to be yours and yours alone,â she said.
Quentin looked down. âYes.â
âOkay.â That surprised him. Razia took his hand in hers and brought it up to her lips to kiss his knuckles. âYouâve been my patron this entire time, Quentin. It started as a cover story, but itâs been true, hasnât it? Itâs common for patrons to demand exclusivity, and itâs something Iâm willing to do. So hereâs what I offer, Mr. Q. From now until the end of summer, Iâm yours and yours alone. If you want to part ways or renegotiate our terms at that time, we will. But for now until then, the only people I will take to bed are you and anyone else you bring in.â
His face lit up in surprise and alarm. âAnyone else I bring in?â
Oh, it was so hard not to go full predator at this point. Maybe he hadnât fully forgiven her and she wouldnât blame him if he hadnât, but she couldnât help the relief she felt. Things would go forward and heâd give her a chance. Anything else was just her being a brat. And after spending the last few hours tormented and worried about how heâd react, it was impossible not to be a little playful and take joy where she could. After a month and a half of frustration, could anyone really blame her?
âWell, of course,â Razia said, grinning wickedly. âJust because weâre together doesnât mean Iâm not who I am. Iâll always be a whore, Quentin.â She decided to go for it and straddled his lap, hands meeting behind his neck to hang off him. âBut until the end of summer, Iâll be your whore. And weâve got so much fun ahead of us, it would be a shame to not show you every delight youâve been missing.â
To Raziaâs dark delight, color rushed to his face and his eye twitched. He battled himself internally, and maybe she shouldnât have gotten enjoyment from pushing him, but he wasnât rejecting her. Not entirely. His arms circled around her and kept her close. âYou know Iâm not going to be very good, right? Iâm probably crap after this long.â
âOh Quentin,â Razia sighed. âDo you really think thatâs going to last? By the time Iâm done with you, youâll be able to charge for it.â
He made a helpless sound in the back of his throat. Razia smiled. It wasnât fair, the way she ducked consequence after consequence and still got what she wanted. But for the first time in her life, she really wasnât lying about anything. She wanted to do better, and as far as she was concerned the best way was through him. That didnât mean she couldnât have some fun along the way. They had tons of work ahead of them and would need to deal with more dangerous men, but for now? They had each other. They could afford one day to recover together.
Quentin closed his eyes. He was smiling, but it was almost sad. âI still donât forgive you,â he said. âAbout Demetrius. I donât forgive you and I donât forgive myself for it. Iâm not sure I can.â
Some of the anxiety and pain came back, but Razia brushed it aside. âI know,â she said. âI understand. I canât change the past, but Iâm going to do better in the future. You have my word, for what little thatâs worth right now. All I want to do is make things right and make us happy and safe.â
His smile grew a bit. âThatâs all Iâm asking for.â
âTomorrow Iâll set up a meeting with Mr. Cicero,â said Razia. âWeâll talk this out and find a solution. But for the rest of today letâs rest and justâ¦See how things go, huh?â
âIâd like that.â Quentin leaned in, hesitantly, and Razia placed a simple, gentle kiss on his lips. He sighed against her, resting his head against hers.
âFor nowâ¦â said Razia, unable to help herself. âHow about we take a bath and recover?â
For the first time since they met, he said yes.