Chapter 13: Bring Me Back: Chapter 13

DAILY AFFIRMATION: “I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.”

“I know you have a big day this afternoon, but will you take a ride with me?”

I stop what I’m doing and look up at James. “Of course. What’s wrong?”

He rubs the back of his neck and blows out a breath through his lips. “Damon’s funeral is today. I… I don’t want anyone to see me there, but I feel like I need to go.”

I cap the marker and set it down so I can reach for James’s hand. “Absolutely.”

James doesn’t talk on the ride over to the cemetery. Light snow flurries around us, the sky a dark, gloomy gray.

When he pulls into the parking lot, he puts the car in park and turns up the heat. “Are you warm?”

I nod. “I’m fine.”

He scans the field and points out the window at a handful of people gathered around a priest. “That’s his mother.”

I squeeze his hand. “You did everything you could to help those boys, James. He’s not in that casket because of you. He made the wrong choice, and Phil only fired because you were in danger.”

“I know.” He shakes his head, and I wonder if he believes his own words. “She lost her son right before Christmas.”

“If he was into drugs and guns, it sounds like she lost him long before he actually died.”

“Maybe. But I’m sure she still held on to hope. I know I always did when Leo went off the rails.”

“I’m so glad you have your brother back.”

“Me too.”

We remain in silence, watching the funeral until the casket gets lowered into the ground.

“The last funeral I went to was my mother’s.”

I nod. “Same with my dad.”

“Aren’t funerals awful?” His dark eyes glisten. “Everyone stands around a dead body, remembering the life that once was. It’s fucking morbid.”

“I want to be cremated. I don’t want to be in the ground.”

“I don’t think I want to be in the ground either. Sprinkle me into the water.”

I scrunch my nose. “Ever think about how many dead bodies we’re swimming with in the ocean?”

He turns his head to look at me. “Not until just now.”

I smile. “My dad used to tell me that we all swam in fish poop when I was a kid. It used to rile me up.”

“I mean, he’s not wrong,” he grunts. “Leo’s afraid of fish. Won’t step foot in the ocean.”

“Really? I can’t picture him being afraid of anything.”

“Oh, yeah. Screams like a little girl if he thinks something touches his leg in the water.”

I laugh. “I can’t wait to tease him about that.”

His smile fades, and he casts his glance out the window. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“I’ve got your six, remember?”

He puts the car in reverse and places his hand on the back of my headrest as he twists in his seat. But he pauses before he backs out of the spot, pinning me with his intense stare.

“I could never forget it.”

“Wow. Look at this place.”

I inhale a nervous breath. “Does it look okay?”

Sadie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Are you kidding? It looks better than okay.”

I wring my hands and glance around the room. “I tried to make it look festive. Do you think there are enough balloons?”

“Any more and we might float away.”

“Oh, no. Are there too many balloons? Is it overkill?”

Sadie laughs. “No, no. You did a fantastic job decorating and setting up this entire event. These dogs are going to end up with loving families tonight. You should be very proud of yourself.”

Leo strides over to us, chewing on a mouthful of something.

My eyes widen. “Are you eating already? Did you make a mess on the tables? Please don’t make a mess.”

He pats me on the back and talks around the ball of food in his cheek. “I’m just sampling the food. You know, in case the cheese is bad or something. Don’t want anything to happen to the guests.”

I shoot him a dubious look. “Gee, thanks. It’s so nice of you to put your safety on the line.”

Sadie chuckles. “You should eat something too, Nix. You won’t have time to eat once the event starts.”

I shake my head. “I want to go over everything one last time. Make sure I didn’t leave anything out.”

Leo jerks his thumb to the right. “I’m going to sample those pigs in a blanket. Make sure they’re not serving rancid meat.”

I roll my eyes and lead Sadie over to the main table by the entrance. Louie’s Legacy Animal Rescue is the nonprofit agency helping me host this event. They find people to foster dogs to rescue them from shelters or life on the street, so that the animals get to live in a loving environment while they’re waiting to be adopted.

A beautiful woman with brown hair and a warm smile stands up to greet me. “You must be Nix. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Tina.”

I clasp her hand. “Hi, Tina. Thank you so much for working with me for this event.”

“Thank you for calling us to help.” She gestures to two women standing beside her. “This is Melissa and Olivia. They run Louie’s Legacy.”

Melissa shakes my hand. “We’re going to find some great foster homes for these litters tonight.”

“I hope so. I love what your agency does to help animals. I think it’s a great alternative to a shelter.”

“We think so too. The foster parents we work with are amazing. They potty train them and get them ready for their forever homes.”

I reach into my back pocket and unfold the envelope I shoved in there. “I’d like to make a donation to the agency. Can I give you a check?”

Olivia’s eyes widen. “Oh, yes. That is so kind of you. Thank you so much.”

I pull out the second envelope and turn to Sadie. “And this is for you to help with the shelter.”

Her lips part on a gasp. “Thank you so much, Nix. This is amazing.”

I smile, and my heart swells with pride. “My father left me some money when he died, and I haven’t been able to figure out what to do with it until now. I know it’ll go to good use.”

“It definitely will.” Sadie nudges me with her elbow. “The boys in blue are here.”

My head whips around as James and the cops from his precinct waltz through the front door. He’s in a navy-blue T-shirt with the yellow state police logo over his chest and a pair of dark jeans. His large frame and handsome, chiseled face demand your attention—and judging by the way every woman in the room is staring, I’d say he has it.

But my favorite thing he’s wearing is the rarely seen wide smile on his face when he sets his honey-colored eyes on me.

When he gets close, he dips his head and presses a soft kiss to my cheek. “It looks amazing in here.”

“You think so? The balloons aren’t too much?”

He shakes his head. “Just the right amount.”

“How are you feeling?” I gesture to his hip. “What did the doctor say about the stitches?”

“He said they’re healing nicely, and that I had a very capable nurse taking care of me all week.”

Heat creeps into my cheeks, and I bite back a smile.

“Come on.” He ushers me toward Leo at the hero table. “You need to eat something.”

“No, I’m fine. I just need to—”

“Eat.” He hands me a paper plate. “You can make yourself a plate, or I can make one for you and feed you in front of all these nice people. Take your pick.”

I glare up at him. “You’re extra bossy today.”

“You should’ve seen him setting up the tables this morning.” Leo mimics James’s voice. “They’re not centered. Where’s your measuring tape? You have to make sure they’re even.”

James shoves his brother’s shoulder. “They were crooked. You can’t have crooked tables.”

I grin and pinch James’s cheek. “Your OCD is adorable.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “I just wanted to make sure everything was perfect. I know how much this event means to you.”

My heart melts into a ball of mush in my chest. “Thank you, James. Seriously. I appreciate you.”

“What about me?” Leo stuffs a wad of bread into his mouth. “I helped too.”

I wrap my arm around his waist and hug him to my side. “Yes, you did. Thank you, little bro.”

Once four o’clock hits, people start filling the space. Kids are dragging their parents by their arms from pen to pen, squealing in delight as the puppies crawl all over them. I make sure to talk with each family and tell them the dogs’ backstory. I pull out all the stops and work my ass off to make sure every dog finds a home.

By the end of the night, only a few dogs are left, but even they are on hold for people who needed to go home and talk to their loved ones about bringing home a puppy.

My heart sinks when I realize I didn’t get to say goodbye to my favorite pit bull. “Sadie, did you see which family the runt pup went to? I didn’t see him go.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry, Nix. It was so busy in here, I missed it.”

“That’s okay.” I chew my cheek to stop from frowning. “I should be happy he went to a good home.”

Leo and I fold up the tables and chairs, and the police officers carry them out to James’s truck. I pack up the leftover food and send it back to the precinct with them to thank them for their help. Leo sucks helium from the balloons while we take down the decorations, and he hugs me goodbye when we’re done.

“I’m gonna catch a ride home with my dad. James will take you back.”

I give him an extra-tight squeeze. “Thanks for your help. Seriously, you’re the best.”

He grins. “I know.”

I’m about to flip off the lights when James walks in with his coat zipped up. “You ready?”

I nod, giving the room a once-over. “Yeah, we’re done here.”

“What’s wrong? You look upset.”

I heave a sigh. “It’s dumb. I shouldn’t even be sad about it. But I didn’t get to say goodbye to the puppy—the one with the heart-shaped nose. He got adopted, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”

A smirk tilts his lips. “You mean this puppy?” He unzips his jacket, and a tiny black-and-white head pops out of the opening.

My hands fly up to my mouth. “Oh my god. What are you doing with him?”

He scoops up the dog in one hand and places him in my arms. “I’m the one who adopted him—for you.”

The dog licks my face, and his tail wags like crazy. “For me? You mean, he’s mine?”

James nods. “I couldn’t let someone else take him home. I know how much you love him. I told Sadie about my plan before the event started. She made sure to put a tag on his collar that said he was already adopted so nobody else would try to take him. And I had him checked out by the vet. She said he’s perfectly healthy, and she gave him all his shots.”

“I can pay you back for that. And the adoption fee—I can Venmo you or get the cash.”

“Just call it an early Christmas gift. I don’t want your money.”

Emotion strangles me as I blink up at James. “Why? Why would you do all this for me?”

“Because you deserve to be happy.”

I glance down at the puppy in my arms and smile. Every cell in my body fills with love, and I know this dog is going to make me the happiest person alive. But what’s more is that James knew it too.

James lifts his hand to my cheek, his thumb making idle strokes against my skin. “Anything that makes you smile like this is worth it.”

I wrap one arm around his waist and sandwich the dog between the two of us. He crawls up James’s chest and licks his chin.

“Thank you. This is the best Christmas present ever.” I let out a sigh. “The gift I got you definitely isn’t as cool as this.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything. Speaking of Christmas, I don’t know if you have any plans, but I’d like you to spend the day with us. If you want to.” He scratches behind the dog’s ears. “You and this little guy, of course.”

For the first time since my father passed, I feel like I belong somewhere. I feel wanted. I feel like I have a purpose, a sense of direction.

I feel .

I lift onto my toes and press a kiss to James’s cheek. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be on Christmas.”