Chapter 36: Chapter 35

The problem with wanting,

is that it makes us weak.

It’s another day of driving before we reach our destination.

Pulling up to the neat compact cottage, a sense of familiarity washes over me.

I’ve only been here once.

Only once to know that I never wanted to come back.

Orion is on edge, his posture reverting to how he was at the beginning of our trip. The unease of what laid before us set him to sit still, eyes darting as he tired and failed to relax.

We sit in silence as the engine of the truck is cut off.

“You said he is Jay’s brother?”

I nod, my worry growing at the fact that Orion has chosen to voluntarily voice out a question.

“I think…I think this will help you understand a lot about…”

I can’t get out the last word. About what?

Me?

My family?

Why they treated me in the way that they did?

The grip upon the steering wheel that I hold tightens as I struggle to find what it is I want to say. Instead, Orion does not wait for me. He opens his door, getting out and looking ahead at the cabin before him.

We walk slowly up to it. It’s no surprise that we are here. It’s not meant to be an ambush, but the person who resides in this secluded place lived here also for a reason. Because he wanted to be away from the world. You had to enter his space if you wanted to speak.

The door opens to show Uncle Lewis.

Despite the added weight of years, his looks have not changed much since I last saw him.

Like Grandjay, he also had dark hair- the only difference was, Uncle Lewis wore his long and tangled in a twisted knot behind his head. His eyes were a different color also. Lighter- less dark in a way that they could be mistaken as brown almost.

And like last time, he still wore that haunted expression. That expression in his eyes that made Vincent whisper to mom, as we drove away, that he didn’t want to go back.

Being twelve years old at the time, I didn’t want to agree with Vincent aloud. But in my mind, I did.

I did.

And I still do.

“Soraya…a surprise.”

His gaze shifts to Orion. Uncle Lewis’ eyes are sharp. Despite the cloud of white that seems to leak through them within the years, I still become uneasy as he silently takes him in.

Orion’s own appearance isn’t on Uncle Lewis, but me.

I can read what he is saying well.

He can smell Uncle Lewis. I know what has him acting this way. I know why Orion is taking a small step back, away from the burning sensation that is filling my own nose.

Uncle Lewis smells like Leo.

Or, to be more accurate…. Leo smells like Uncle Lewis. Because I hope and pray to the moon goddess that Leo never reaches a point in his life when his scent of sorrow becomes so overwhelming, his pack is forced to push him out.

“Hello Uncle Lewis. I was close by and wanted to introduce my mate to you.”

Orion nods his head to Uncle Lewis in a distracted sort of way.

We stand there for several seconds. I watch as slowly Uncle Lewis seems to become increasingly tired just standing there staring at us.

“I was also hoping…to talk with you.”

He steps aside, allowing us access in. It’s a movement that has no thought. No thought besides the fact that if he humors us, talks maybe a few minutes, entertains, and does what I ask, then it will cause our presence to be gone from his sight faster.

“I just made tomato soup…?”

“…thank you….”

After a few minutes, we are all sitting at a small table, each with a bowl of the red liquid. The sight of the food seems to throw Orion off. I try to hide my smile and look away from him as he pokes a finger into the liquid.

Uncle Lewis is not watching Orion though. His eyes are narrowed in thought as he stares at me.

“There is something different about you…”

“There should be…I’m….I’m Alpha of the Alba Rosa Pack now.”

Orion’s head jerks up at the sudden spike of anger that can be felt. We both watch the old male. I slowly shift my body, blocking Orion from his path.

“You…you’re Alpha…”

“Yes.”

Orion’s head is turning between the two of us.

And then Uncle Lewis’ true character comes out.

“You idiot girl. I send you here and sit you down, tell you all about the consequences of what your actions will do but do you listen? Nooooo. Little wolfs who want to prove themselves. And now you come here and tell me this expecting me to be some happy person. Congrats you won nothing! I suppose Atlas the little dick head did nothing to stop you about this? Probably in the wrong way after I warned him. Specifically warned him! And Jay- don’t even get me started about Jay the block head can-,”

“What’s done is done!”

“Oh no It’s not- you’re going to get your furry little butt back to Alba Rosa and resign right now young lady!”

I cross my arms and look away, a frustrated sigh huffing out of me. Orion sits, open mouth and slack jaw at the sudden 180 that has taken over the male.

“What…”

Uncle Lewis’ sharp eyes beam into him.

“What,” he snaps.

Orion slowly shakes his head, a dazed expression coming over him.

“You didn’t explain.” The sudden rush is over as Uncle Lewis slowly descends back down to his personal hell that he lived in. “You didn’t explain to him any of this did you…”

“I…some…”

A bitter laugh leaves him.

“Yes…that’s what J-…she did to me also.”

Uncle Lewis turns back to Orion, a grin of age-old grief weighing down his face.

“Wolf. How much of my past do you know?”

Orion only shakes his head.

“Let me explain to you why your mate, the coward she is, brought you here.”

I growl low at his words, but he ignores my actions, his focus purely directed only on Orion.

“I was like you. You call yourself her Luna?”

Orion nods.

“Yes…I was someone’s Luna also. But did you know wolf, that there is a curse on Alphas? Have you never wondered why the role of Alpha is given to the male? Do you think it’s unfair wolf? Do you think it’s wrong?”

Orion stares blankly at Uncle Lewis, his answer not given directly. He does not respond, but I can tell, from the way he is leaning in, from the way his hands are curling into fists and eyes are widening. He is paying attention to every word that is being said.

“It’s not wrong. It’s nature. It’s not saying the male is stronger. It’s just nature wolf.”

“His name is Orion.”

Uncle Lewis pauses enough to stare at me before he continues.

“Orion. Let me tell you of my own story. As I said, I was a Luna. I had a mate. She was like Soraya. Not in the sense that she was a female leader. But in personality also. Do you know what happen to my mate?”

Orion nods. It’s a yes or no question in his mind and judging from the smell of toxic sorrow that leaks from every pore of Uncle Lewis’ body, Orion has made a clear conclusion.

I stand and walk away from the table.

I know how this story goes.

I know how it begins and ends.

Dad drilled it into my head, the name of Uncle Lewis’ mate. So many times. So many times, that soon, instead of a symbol of fear, she become something close to hope in my mind.

But I don’t think that is how Orion will see it.

“She was challenged. She never lost a challenge before. She was strong. So strong…she even beat Jay a couple of times…that was something…but she lost a challenge…”

“Why.”

I jump at the single-worded question from Orion.

Uncle Lewis’ face is blank. He can’t show emotions with his words. He’s learned that he can’t become emotional while retelling his story. We both learned this when it was my turn to hear it for the first time.

“Did you know Orion, that there is a curse on the female body?”

I feel a stifling tension in the room. One that I want to run away from.

“When a female is with child, she cannot shift. She must stay in one form. Balance. She cannot shift. She cannot defend herself when she is most vulnerable. How horrible…” his voice cracks for just a fraction of a second as he whispers, “how horrible for the moon goddess to make it so.”

“I watched her fight that day, and the curse of her body showed itself to me. He could shift. He could overpower her…all because she was with my child…my child…the curse that I had put into her body to make it so that she could not defend herself-,”

He stands suddenly his angry steps going to me as his fist collides only inches away from my skull.

“And yet you still…”

“I will not make her same mistake.”

“It’s not that simple Soraya.”

We stare at each other, our anger consuming the space between.

“Soraya…”

I flinch from the tone of Orion’s voice.

He is staring at the table, his food long forgotten as his hands slowly rise to hold his head. I push Uncle Lewis aside, going to him.

“Orion…”

He looks up, his eyes wide and brimmed with tears. Not crying though. He is not crying.

I feel like it though.

“Isn’t your mate selfish.”

I lower my head to hide my face from Orion as Uncle Lewis comes back around us to sit down, his words whispering like poison in my ears.

“I thought that. For a long time, I wondered why….she…would try so hard for power. Why she needed to be in power. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why wasn’t she satisfied with me? Why did she need more?”

I don’t look at Orion as the thought that I’ve dreaded, and words that I have feared come rushing from his lips.

“Orion. Do you wonder these same things?”

“No.”

Uncle Lewis and I both look up in astonishment as Orion calmly stares back at him. The shock of his story seems to have passed through him. He has adapted to the words and was now squaring his shoulders back.

“I don’t think that way anymore.”

Uncle Lewis looks at me, but my expression only matches his as Orion continues.

“I’ve told Soraya already that she is everything. Not a part, not a piece. A whole. I am complete with her. But for me to be complete, I need her to be whole as well. So, I will do whatever it takes to make her that way. To fill her with happiness- whatever form of happiness that may be.”

Uncle Lewis smiles at his words.

“A good soul. Finally.”

I stare up at Orion but he still avoids my eyes, a slow blush forming on his face and neck from the words he has admitted.

“I hope you continue to feel that way. It’s okay Orion, to be selfish. Soraya has learned that lesson, have you not?”

I ignore the old male and sit back down at the table.

“You call it selfish that I stopped Vincent from being the Alpha?”

“The reasoning behind your choice has no weight to me. All I’m asking is, do you think it’s selfish to want something that will hurt those around you?”

I lean forward, a warning growl coming from me. I was becoming tired of the morality that Uncle Lewis spoke of.

“The fact that I am Alpha was not a choice taken lightly. I am giving up a lot…” I look at Orion and meet his grey eyes of steel, “we are giving up a lot, for the sake of the pack.”

Uncle Lewis only laughs.

He laughs and laughs, until a single tear comes down his face, “There is no such thing as a female Alpha. Only Luna’s who crave to much power,” his eyes shift to Orion, “and you are neither,” he whispers in a hoarse voice, “only blind to what you think should be yours.”