Chapter 10: Voyeur: Chapter 10

OAKLYN

“No lunch today?” Dr. Pierce asked from behind his desk, unwrapping a sub sandwich.

I looked down, embarrassed by my lack of food. Not wanting to admit how poor I was, I settled on a half-truth.

“I haven’t had time to go to the grocery store, and out-of-state colleges kind of suck up all my eating out money.”

“That’s right. Yes, I know all about out-of-state fees.”

“Where did you go?”

“I actually went here.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Where did you come from?”

“Well, Oaklyn, when a man and a woman love each other very much—”

“Oh, stop it,” I said laughing, enjoying the way his laugh blended with mine. “You know what I meant. What state did you come from?”

“California.”

“Wow, that’s a long way away. What brought you here to Ohio?”

I almost regretted my question when he seemed to flinch. Maybe something had happened back home to make him escape to Ohio? Guilt assailed me thinking that I’d brought up bad memories for him, but it was dashed away when his expression shifted to a smile, albeit a little forced.

“I had a friend come out here and tell me about the program they had. So, I went for it.”

“Is he still here?”

“No, he actually moved back to California after graduation. But I made another friend in college, and we’ve remained close.”

I wondered who his friend was. His smile looked happy and content, and I wondered if it was a woman. A pinch of jealousy hit me, and I had to fight from rolling my eyes at how dumb it was to be jealous of your teacher’s possible girlfriend.

Hunger also hit me, and as though admitting I had no lunch wasn’t embarrassing enough, my stomach rumbled. I cringed and reached for my water bottle, hoping that would help.

“Hungry?” Dr. Pierce asked.

“It’s okay. I’ll grab something when I’m finished here.

Since I came in early, I’ll have plenty of time to pick up some groceries before heading home.” I tried to take discreet deep breaths to stop the blood rushing to my cheeks. “Let’s just say I’ve learned my lesson about being lazy with my shopping,” I said, trying to make a joke.

“Here,” he said, handing me half of his sub. “Split my sandwich with me. Donna got me a whole one when I only wanted a half. It will just go to waste.”

I cocked an eyebrow. We both knew a man his size needed a large sandwich.

“Take the sandwich, Oaklyn.”

“Thank you,” I said, taking it from him. The first bite was phenomenal. It was a simple club sandwich, but I was so hungry the flavor of the bacon and cheese exploded on my tongue. I closed my eyes and swallowed a moan along with the bite in my mouth.

When my eyes flicked open, he was staring at me with an unmistakable heat in his eyes. Other times I’d ignored it, pushed it under the rug, called it my own imagination. But

the way he stared at me—at my lips—there was no ignoring that heat. The way his bright blue eyes darkened when I slicked my tongue across my bottom lip to collect any crumbs.

There was no hiding how much I liked it.

But even if I couldn’t ignore it, I could try to keep it under wraps because he was my professor and a look meant nothing. People watched me at Voyeur all the time. If I stared at a cute boy at a coffee shop, it didn’t mean I truly wanted him. It was simply finding someone attractive.

Nothing more.

Besides, what would I do? Pursue him? Flirt? Make it obvious? He was too sophisticated to act on an attraction to a student. Too smart. He could easily report me for misconduct. I’d lose my scholarships or extra income. All for a silly feeling.

So, I pushed it down hard and moved on, breaking the spell.

“So, California? I bet your parents miss you,” I repeated the same statement he’d made to me the other day in the classroom.

He coughed behind his hand and looked away before answering. “I’m sure they do, but they visit enough.”

“Do you ever go see them?”

“No.”

The answer was short and hard. No hesitation at all, like he didn’t even consider it. I wondered again if something had happened to make him leave and maybe not want to go back.

“Oh, yeah. It’s probably a long trip.” I said, giving him an out.

He nodded, taking it, and finished the last bite of his sandwich. “How about you? Did you go home for Christmas?”

“No. It was too expensive, and I had to work.”

The small wince that flicked across his face almost happened too fast for me to see, but he continued his questions before I could think any more about it.

“I bet your siblings and family missed you.”

“I’m an only child, but my extended family is really close-knit. I definitely missed them this year.” I finished off the last of my sandwich and couldn’t remember a time I’d felt more satisfied. Sure, it was dramatic, but I had been really hungry. Maybe because it was from him, it had tasted that much better. “What about you? Any siblings? Cousins you’re close to?”

Paper crinkled, and I looked to see his fist clenched tight around an envelope.

“I’m also an only child,” he said calmly, releasing the paper, like he hadn’t just had a reaction.

He played it off so cool, I began to wonder if I’d imagined it, but the crinkled paper in front of him proved it.

It wasn’t my business, no matter how curious I was.

“I bet you were an all-star kid.” My eyes roamed over him, taking in his large build. “Football?”

His laugh filled the room and it seemed to always hit me like it was the first time. “Hardly. More like the class president and leader of the physics club. I did play soccer for a bit though.”

“Me too,” I said excited to have something in common.

“But I sucked.”

“God, so did I. My buddy said it was the greatest gift to the team when I quit. I never understood the sport anyway.”

My body shook with laughter, imagining him fumbling around. “I loved it. Sucked. But I loved it. However, I ended up joining the dance team my senior year to stay active.”

His eyebrow lifted as though I surprised him with that.

His expectations of my dance skills were probably too high, and he imagined someone good at dancing.

“I kind of sucked at that too. I was okay. But I can’t dance. Moving to a count is a lot different than finding your rhythm.”

“You paint a hell of a picture,” he said, lifting his water for a drink.

“Let me guess. You’re an amazing dancer. B-boy? Hip-hop? Whacking?”

He almost spit his water across the desk, a little bit slipping from his pursed lips as he fought the laugh. He ended up coughing which mixed with his choked laugh.

And I laughed with him. The room just a blend of our sound making beautiful music.

But it came to a screeching halt when someone at the door interrupted us.

“Callum?” A tall, slim blonde walked in and straight to his desk, laying a kiss on his cheek. I thought she was going for his lips, but he turned at the last minute. My whole body froze as I watched her place her hand on his shoulder. Their movements seemed to filter to me in slow motion.

“I thought I heard your laugh. I had no idea you were a teacher here. I’m the new secretary in the chemistry department.”

Dr. Pierce looked at me to alert her to my presence since she seemed to talk like I wasn’t even there. I didn’t know how she’d missed me considering she had to walk past me to get to him.

Obviously, she didn’t get the hint because she just kept talking. “I’ve been here all week, I don’t know how I’ve missed you,” she said, resting her butt on his desk and stroking her fingers down his arm.

I noticed his eyes flick to the stack of papers that had moved out of alignment and it gave me satisfaction to know that her disorganizing his desk irked him.

Watching her hand make its way up and down his jacket, a jealousy I had no right to feel burned through me. I didn’t

even know her—hadn’t even seen her face yet—and I hated her.

Dr. Pierce cleared his throat, talking for the first time.

“Shannon, this is my student-aide in the department, Oaklyn.”

She turned, seeming surprised to see me. Of course, she was gorgeous, and I hated her all the more for it. “Oh, silly me. Hi, Oaklyn.” Her head cocked to the side. “Such an unusual name.”

“I like to call it unique, but I’ve heard weird before too,”

I said sarcastically, which she missed completely. I wanted to call her a rude bitch, but bit my tongue because I knew I was overreacting and needed to calm the fuck down. She just laughed and turned her attention back to Dr. Pierce.

“I’d love to get together again. Pick up where we left off.” She leaned closer to him, speaking softly like I’d magically not be able to hear. “Maybe let me return the favor.”

Ohmygod. Ohmygod. I didn’t know what favor she was talking about, but my mind could conjure a few that made me want to knock her off the desk.

Dr. Pierce happened to look over at me as my eyes tried to bug out in panic. I was not getting trapped in there and tortured with her recount of their activities. I had to get the hell out of there.

“Whew, look at the time.” I interrupted. The conversation was unprofessional, and it felt like a punch in the gut. “I should get going. Thanks for sharing your sandwich, Dr. Pierce.”

I tossed my bag over my shoulder and bolted, not taking a moment to look back.

Being in that room caused me to have stupid feelings.

Feelings I needed to walk away from and ignore. I needed to move past the stupid crush and focus on school.

Maybe if I said enough, my heart would stop trying to pound out of my chest every time I saw him.