Chapter 17: Voyeur: Chapter 17

OAKLYN

I pressed ignore on another phone call from my parents.

It was too windy on my walk across campus, and I just didn’t have it in me to talk to them. They sent me messages with their apologies and let me know how proud they were of me, but I just couldn’t hear it and respond the way they were expecting. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything to make them proud, and while I’d forgiven them, I was still bitter and angry about the situation I was in.

Especially after last night.

A shiver shook my body as I remembered what Dr.

Pierce had done to me. A mixture of emotions twisted inside my body.

Heat from the way he’d watched me, the way he’d touched me, the way he’d stroked himself, the way he came.

Shame from letting him touch me and letting my anger go so easily. From admitting my deepest fear that he would think I was a whore, that maybe I thought I was a whore.

I shook off the feeling and focused on getting to my appointment. Dr. Denly, my department advisor, had emailed me yesterday asking me to come see him this morning before classes. He hadn’t said what it was about,

and all the possibilities had my nerves firing off on high alert.

If I was nervous for my meeting with Dr. Denly, then I was petrified of Dr. Pierce’s class. Maybe my meeting would run late, and I’d have an excuse not to go.

I knocked on the open door. “Hi, Dr. Denly. You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, yes. Come in.” He pulled his wire-framed glasses off and leaned back in his chair, indicating I take a seat.

“Bit chilly this morning, isn’t it?”

“Sure is,” I agreed, shedding my jacket. “I’m looking forward to the spring.”

“Me too.” He clapped his hands together and smiled.

“But I didn’t ask you to come so we could chit-chat about the weather. I wanted to discuss an opportunity with you. It came across my desk yesterday and you’re one of the first people I thought of.”

“Okay,” I said.

“I know we talked about your money situation earlier this semester, and I wanted to let you know about an internship that is opening up with the athletic department.

You’d be helping out the physical therapist.”

“Um, wow. Thank you. Are there any certain criteria they’re looking for?” I asked, all of this sounding too good to be true.

“They usually want someone who is a sophomore or higher and has anatomy and physiology under their belt.”

My heart plummeted since I checked none of those boxes.

“But you’re a good student, Oaklyn. The program will start over the summer with some training and officially kick off next fall. And you have advanced A&P from high school.

Pair that with my recommendation, and I’m sure they will overlook a few things. We’ll also get you signed up for the right courses to show them your initiative. I think you’re a good fit.”

“I—I’m so honored you thought of me,” I said, a wide smile splitting my face. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” He stood from his desk and walked over to me with a paper. “Here’s the application. Look it over and fill it out. Deadline is in two weeks, so don’t waste time getting it back to me.”

“I won’t,” I said, stuffing the paper in my bag and standing to leave. “Thank you so much for this. I won’t let you down.”

I walked toward physics, practically bouncing with excitement at the possibility of a paid internship. It wasn’t much, but with all new scholarships and loans, my work study programs, and maybe finding another job, I could quit working at Voyeur. Not that I hated working there, but the reality of Dr. Pierce having seen me brought a whole new issue into play that I hadn’t really considered.

What if I ran into other people who’d seen me? What if it was someone I knew, and they used it against me? Judged me?

I needed that internship.

Walking into class, I kept my head down and avoided eye contact with Dr. Pierce. I’d entered close to class starting, which prevented me from sitting in the back like I’d planned. Olivia waved at me from our usual spot in the front where she’d saved a seat. Damnit.

“Where were you?” she whispered.

“I had a meeting with Dr. Denly about a paid internship.”

Her jaw dropped open and her eyes widened with excitement. She was about to ask another question when Dr. Pierce started the lecture.

“I’ll tell you later.”

Despite spending most of the time avoiding his gaze, his voice drew me in, and I lifted my head. He’d been staring right at me and now that I’d looked, I couldn’t turn away. It was like he controlled my ability to move. I was frozen under his gaze.

Electricity was a living breathing thing between us. Did everyone see it? The more I stared, the more I saw. Yes, the heat was there, but something else. Some other emotion I couldn’t decipher. I tried desperately though, needing to understand what he thought. He’d left me lying there on the bed after I almost begged him to leave, but I couldn’t help but remember his soft kisses and his thank yous, as though I’d given him some gift. I’d been scared of what happened next. Scared that he would think that I could be bought for sex, worried that now that he’d had me, he would let me know what he really thought of me.

The thoughts had run through my head, and I’d panicked. Would I have turned around and seen regret lining his eyes? Would I have seen disgust? Any of the emotions I’d imagined seeing on his face had scared me. I wasn’t even sure of what I’d wanted to see. Was I hoping for desire, happiness, caring? Was I hoping to find that he’d want more than just sex? Was I hoping he’d have a blank stare ready to ignore any of it?

My body and heart had wanted to shout how right it felt to have his body over mine. How perfectly we aligned, and how his lips felt on my skin. My mind had wanted me to run, tried to convince me that I’d made a huge mistake letting my professor touch me. So, I’d been a coward and demanded he leave, taking control of the moment before any other emotions could. However, watching him now, what I was feeling took my breath away. The heat was there, but so was desire and . . . Hope?

A book fell with a loud smack onto the floor, and it broke the lock between us. We blinked, and finally I was free.

I still watched him too closely, trying to avoid his eyes when he’d glimpse my way. I watched his long fingers grip the marker as he scribbled across the board and all I could think about was how they’d been inside me. How they’d felt when they’d wrung an orgasm from my body. I remembered the way he’d licked my cum off of them as he held my stare.

“Dr. Pierce.”

“Call me Callum or Cal while I’m inside you.”

I heard it over and over in my head. My breathy moans and his rough voice that still sent shivers skittered over my skin just remembering it.

His moan haunted me last night when he came all over my ass and back. I woke to a bruise on my shoulder from the way he bit me as he touched my breasts for the first time. I lifted my hand and rubbed against it over my sweater, loving the soreness and the constant reminder of it.

His eyes locking on the motion, causing him to stutter over his words. His gaze seared me with heat. He was remembering too, and it made the ache that much sweeter.

“Class is over, sister,” Olivia said, pulling me from my trance.

I looked around and sure enough, Dr. Pierce—Callum—

was sitting at his desk, stealing subtle glances my way as the rest of class began to pack up.

“Sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “Had a late night, and I’m pretty tired now.”

“How’s it going, by the way?”

“How’s what going?”

“You know,” Olivia said, bobbing her eyebrows. “Work.”

“Oh, yeah.” A blush heated my cheeks, and I looked down to stuff my papers in my bag, not wanting her to see.

“It’s good. Fine.”

I kept my answer vague, not wanting to talk about it. I wasn’t necessarily ashamed, but it wasn’t your typical job either. Certainly not one you talked about in public, even to your friend who’d helped you get the job. But mostly, I was worried that once I opened my mouth, I’d confess my exploit with Callum.

“Fine, don’t spill all the details. At least tell me hot guys work there. Maybe you could pass my number along to one of them.”

“Sure,” I agreed laughing. Unconvincingly, it seemed.

“Are you doing too much?” she asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You sound more than just a little tired.”

“It’s just one semester. It’s a lot, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

“You know, the offer still stands about me loaning you the rest of what you owe,” she said, fiddling with her bag.

“Olivia,” I sighed. “Thank you, but I can’t.”

“Why?” she asked, her irritation making her sound snappish. “Why are you being so stubborn?” She took a deep breath to collect herself. “I’m sorry. I just miss you and I don’t get it. You’ll take loans from all the banks and work yourself to the bone, but you won’t let me help.”

I’d explained to her before, but not in all its painful details. “My parents always struggled with money, but they never took loans. They worked more jobs and cut expenses, but they never took loans. Then one time—one freaking time—their best friends offered them a loan when my parents had nowhere else to turn, and it ruined them. Their close friends lorded it over them, asking for favors and extras. They never signed anything because they were friends, and they abused it by changing the payments, asking for more on different months without notice. Or changing the dates and getting pissed when my parents didn’t have the money.”

For the first time Olivia looked at me with understanding.

“My parents always made the payments, no matter the circumstances. Which usually meant we went without. And my friendship with their daughter deteriorated right along with everything else. She became snobby and made fun of my family for not having enough.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. I never told you,” I said packing up my bag.

“Money changes people, Olivia. It changes situations and

relationships, and I can’t have anything change between us.”

“Aw.” She put her hand over her heart and pouted dramatically. “You’d rather suffer than lose me. It’s true love.”

“Like I said, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. In the new school year, I’ll have more scholarships and bank loans. It will be great,” I finished with a forced smile, looking up to see Callum’s eyes jerk away again.

Standing, I tossed my bag over my shoulder and kept my eyes glued to the door. I just had to get out of there, and I’d buy myself one more day of avoidance.

“Miss Derringer,” Dr. Pierce called.

Shit. I’d been so close to freedom. I should’ve explained to Olivia outside the classroom, taken my opportunity to get the hell out of there.

It was too late now.

Cautiously, I turned with raised eyebrows and hoped I hid the panic rushing through me.

“May I have a word? It’s about the sign-up for the project.”

How did he keep his face so calm and collected when I was trembling from the inside out? I needed to get out of there.

“Umm, I can’t, sorry. I actually have to get to my next class. Emailing me might work best.” I gave a forced smile, turned and grabbed Olivia’s arm, and got us the hell out of there.

“Wow, that was awfully brave to turn down Dr. Pierce’s request. He seemed serious. I would have stayed with you.

You know, just friendly support. Not at all so I could drool over him more.” She laughed and bumped me with her shoulder. “You know what? Be less brave next time.”

I laughed too, but mine was tinged with a little desperation.

I felt anything but brave anymore.