I donât go to class.
Instead, I head straight to my car, grab my duffel from the backseat, and make my way to the athletics building.
All I really want to do is crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and shut out the worldâshut out herâbut I know that wonât do me any good. Running from problems isnât my thing. Thatâs Madisonâs move.
So, I do the only thing I know: I hit the gym. Hard.
My fists slam into the heavy bag, sweat rolling down my back, muscles burning from the nonstop punishment. I need thisâthe exhaustion, the sting, the mind-numbing repetitionâbecause the alternative is thinking about her.
Always her.
The way she looked at me this morning, drowning in that oversized sweatshirt like she wished she could disappear inside it. The way her lips parted slightly when she saw me, her breath catching, hesitation flickering across her face like she didnât know what the hell to do with me.
Like I was a problem she couldnât solve.
Like she hadnât spent days avoiding me after pressing her body against mine, after fitting perfectly in my arms, after whispering my name in that way that still fucking echoes in my head.
My jaw clenches so tight, I taste blood, and I throw another punch, harder this time. The bag jerks violently, the chain rattling above me. My knuckles burn beneath the wraps, but I welcome the pain.
Because itâs real.
Unlike whatever game sheâs playing.
I donât know why I let myself think that maybeâjust maybeâsheâd stop running.
That sheâd finally admit this thing between us is real, that Iâm not crazy for thinking about her every goddamn minute of every goddamn day.
Instead, she called it a mistake.
A fucking mistake.
Like it was some drunken slip up at a party, not years of history, of tension, of feelings neither of us have been willing to name.
Maybe me coming here was a mistake. Maybe I shouldâve let that voicemail stay buried in my phone. Sober Madison doesnât admit how she feels. Sober Madison builds walls so high, not even she can see over them.
I exhale sharply, shaking out my hands, my knuckles raw. The gym is empty, the faint hum of a sports channel playing on the mounted TVs the only sound besides my breathing.
I shouldnât be this messed up over a girl.
This isnât high school anymore. Weâre not the same people we were back then.
But fuck if I can stop it.
Sheâs in my head, branded into me like a scar that wonât heal. Madison Blakeâthe girl whoâs been running circles around me since we were seventeen, the girl who looks at me like Iâm both the water and the air she needs.
The girl who runs every damn time we get too close.
I grab my water bottle, taking a long drink before slamming it down on the bench. A few drops spill over the edge, spreading across the floor. I watch them pool, thinking about how easy it would be to let go.
To stop chasing her.
To focus on what I came here to do.
But even as the thought crosses my mind, I know itâs a lie.
Iâve never been able to let go of Madison Blake. Not then. Not now.
With a frustrated exhale, I grab my bag and head toward the locker room, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. Each step feels heavier than the last, like Iâm wading through quicksand, drowning under the weight of everything unsaid.
The scent of sweat, detergent, and old leather fills the air the second I walk in. A few guys are already here, tossing their gear into lockers, stretching out sore muscles. I move to my usual spot, stripping off my hoodie, skin still damp from the workout.
I hear Carter before I see him.
âLook who finally decided to show up,â he drawls, swinging around the end of the bench, grinning like the smug asshole he is. Heâs always so damn relaxed, like nothing bothers him. Like he wasnât sitting with her this morning, making her laugh when all sheâs given me are cautious, guarded looks.
I grunt, grabbing my cleats. âNot in the mood, Hayes.â
âYeah?â He tilts his head, eyes full of something knowing. âThought youâd be in a great mood after this morning.â
My hands still, tension creeping back into my shoulders like an old friend. I exhale through my nose, shaking my head as I lace up my shoes with more force than necessary. âNot playing this game with you.â
Carter chuckles, dropping onto the bench across from me. âRelax, man. Just saying, you looked ready to rip my head off when you saw me sitting with Maddy.â
My jaw clenches at Maddy, like they have history. Inside jokes. Like she lets him in when she keeps me at armâs length.
Carter smirks. âIf looks could kill, Iâd be six feet under.â
I slam my locker shut and finally meet his gaze. âYou done?â
He leans back, arms stretching behind him. âDepends. You gonna stop acting like Iâm your competition?â
My stomach tightens. âThe hell does that mean?â
Carter studies me for a beat before shaking his head. âMeans I donât know whatâs going on in that head of yours, but if youâre worried about me and Madison? Donât be.â
I freeze as my pulse kicks up. âYou sure about that?â
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. âYeah. I am.â He pauses. âLook, man, last fall? Yeah, we hooked up, but it literally meant nothing. No strings, no feelings, just blowing off some steam.â
Something sharp slices through my chest when I imagine his hands on her, his mouth on hers. I struggle to keep my face neutral.
âBut it was never more than that, man,â Carter continues. âShe never looked at me the way she looks at you.â
My gaze swings back to him. âWhat are you talking about?â
Carter smirks, shaking his head. âEveryone sees it. Hell, I think the two of you are the only ones who donât.â He leans forward. âOr maybe she does, and thatâs why she runs. Madisonâs always been good at running from things that force her to actually feel.â
I donât respond, but something shifts inside me.
Because I felt it.
That night, when she let me hold her, the way her body pressed into mine like it was made to fit there, I felt something. The way she had to pull back, hiding her true feelings before calling it a mistake.
Because it wasnât.
No matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise, I know she felt it too.
Carterâs words still linger between us when the locker room door swings open, and Coach Harding steps inside. âAlright, listen up!â
The chatter dies instantly. Every guy straightens, turning toward him, all business now.
âThis weekendâs game is gonna be a battle,â Coach starts, pacing in front of the lockers. âTheyâre physical, fast, and looking to take us down.â He pauses, letting the words sink in. âWhich means we need to be sharper. Stronger. Smarter.â
His gaze sweeps over us before landing on me. âMontgomery, I need to see you in my office after practice. Work for you?â
A knot forms in my gut. âYes, sir.â
âGood.â
As the guys file out, Carter slaps a hand on my shoulder. âGuess we better get to it, huh?â
I grunt, pulling on my receiver gloves. âDamn right.â But his earlier words echo in my head, a whispered promise that maybe, just maybe, Iâm not as alone in this as I thought.
Two hours later, my muscles are sore, my jersey damp with sweat, but the burn from practice is exactly what I needed. For two hours, I didnât have to think about Madison, didnât have to think about anything except running my routes, catching every damn ball thrown my way, and making sure I stayed sharp.
Iâm just about to head to the showers when I hear Coachâs voice behind me. âMontgomery, my office.â
I glance over my shoulder, nodding. âYes, Coach.â
I tug off my practice jersey and grab a towel from my locker before heading down the hall to Coachâs office. The door is already cracked, so I push inside, a familiar nervousness settling in my stomach. Despite years of accolades and praise, thereâs still something about being called into the coachâs office that makes me feel like Iâm in trouble.
Coach is leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, studying his laptop screen. When he looks up, he gestures for me to sit. âRelax, kid. Youâre not in trouble.â
I huff out a breath, sinking into the chair across from him. âThatâs good to hear.â My shoulders drop a fraction, the tension easing.
He shuts his laptop and steeples his fingers, eyeing me with that calculating look he gets when heâs sizing up a situation. âJust that time of the semester when we do little check-ins with everyone, grades and all that. Yours look great so far. Any classes youâre concerned about?â
I straighten a little. I knew this conversation would come eventually. It always does, the reminder Iâm not just here to catch footballs. Thereâs more at stake.
âNo, sir,â I say, shaking my head. âJust trying to keep everything in check.â Balance. Thatâs what Iâve always been good at. Football, school, life. Itâs only recently that the scales have tipped, weighted down by thoughts of her.
Coach leans forward, resting his elbows on his desk. âThatâs what I like to hear. Look, Jaxon, I know this transition wasnât easyânew school, new system, new expectations. But youâve handled it like a damn professional. I just want you to know that. Keep it up.â
I meet his gaze, feeling the weight of his words. He doesnât have to say it outright, but I know whatâs at stake. My draft stock is high, but slipping up academically would tank my chances. Scouts look at everything, not just how fast you can run a forty.
âI will,â I say, voice firm. A promise to him, to myself.
Coach nods, a slight smile breaking through his usually stern expression. âGood. Because Iâm damn happy to have you on this team. Youâve brought something special to this offense, and youâve got a bright future. Donât let anythingâon or off the fieldâderail that. You hear me?â
On or off the field. The words hit harder than they should, like he knows, like he can see Madison written all over me, a distraction I canât afford.
I nod again, swallowing the knot in my throat. âI hear you, Coach.â
He watches me for a beat, then leans back with a satisfied look. âAlright. Go shower, get some rest. Iâll see you on the bus tomorrow.â
I push up from the chair, nodding once before heading out, his words trailing after me like shadows. I make my way back to the locker room, now mostly empty, guys having cleared out for dinner or study sessions.
And even though I should be feeling good after that talkâthe praise, the acknowledgment of my hard workâthe words âon or off the fieldâ stick in my head like a warning.
A warning about Madison, about the way she might make me lose focus, makes me question my priorities, makes me want things I shouldnât be thinking about. With only East Coast teams interested in me so far, itâs a big risk getting involved with her, but Iâll have to make it work somehow. The hardest part, Iâm sure, will be convincing her itâll be worth it.
That we are worth it.