Chapter 29: Broken Play: Chapter 29

Laughter and groans fill the room as Emily slams her game piece down on the board, throwing her arms in the air.

‘And that is how you absolutely destroy your family in Monopoly,’ she says smugly, leaning back in her chair.

Jaxon shakes his head, running a hand over his face. ‘You’re a menace, Em.’

‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game.’

Uncle Rob laughs, stretching his arms above his head. ‘I don’t know why we let this game go on so long. We should’ve just accepted our fates the second Emily bought Boardwalk.’

Aunt Denise smirks. ‘Agreed. Next time, we’re playing something that doesn’t bring out the worst in our children.’

Jaxon’s mom stands, collecting empty glasses from the table. ‘I don’t know about all of you, but I am exhausted. We’ve got a big day tomorrow, and I’d like to be at least somewhat rested before we all fall into a turkey coma.’

A round of agreements follows, everyone stretching and starting to head toward their rooms. I reach for my glass of water, taking a sip as Laura turns toward Jaxon and me, her expression far too innocent to match the gleam in her eyes.

‘Now, I’d love grandchildren one day, but I think I’m a bit too young at the moment.’

I choke, my drink going down the wrong pipe as I start coughing, my face instantly burning.

Jaxon groans, his ears bright red. ‘Mom.’

She just shrugs, all innocent. ‘What? I’m just saying, don’t go getting any ideas about sneaking into each other’s rooms, hmm?’

Uncle Rob chuckles under his breath, and Aunt Denise barely smothers a smirk. Jaxon grumbles something under his breath while I sink lower into my seat, mortified.

Laura just pats my shoulder lightly before wishing everyone goodnight. Jaxon shakes his head, standing and grabbing my hand, pulling me up with him. ‘C’mon, Mads. Before she finds more ways to embarrass us.’

I glare at him. ‘That was definitely aimed at you.’

His smirk deepens as he walks me down the hallway toward my room. ‘She loves you more than me, and we both know it.’

My stomach flutters at that, but I shove the feeling down.

We stop in front of my door, and for a second, neither of us moves. The hall is quiet, dimly lit, and Jaxon is looking at me like, well, like that.

He definitely isn’t ready to say goodnight, and neither am I. But Laura Montgomery when you break her rules? Hard pass.

‘Goodnight, Mads,’ he murmurs, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I exhale softly. ‘Goodnight, Jax.’

He leans in, pressing a slow, lingering kiss against my lips before pulling away with a small smirk. ‘Try not to miss me too much.’

I roll my eyes, fighting a grin. I shove his chest lightly before stepping inside and closing the door.

After getting ready for bed, I crawl under the covers, but I don’t sleep.

I toss. I turn.

I flip my pillow, kick off the blanket, then pull it back on again.

I still can’t fall asleep.

With a sigh, I sit up, hugging my knees to my chest, listening to the faint sound of waves crashing in the distance. The house is silent, but my thoughts are loud.

Before I can second-guess myself, I slip out of bed, tiptoe to the door, and crack it open just enough to slip into the hallway, checking both ways to be sure no one else is still up.

Jaxon’s room is down the hall, the door shut, dim light seeping from underneath. I hesitate for half a second before raising my hand and giving a small, barely there knock.

A pause.

Then, soft footsteps before the door cracks open, revealing a very sleepy, very shirtless Jaxon.

His brows lift slightly, voice husky with sleep. ‘Mads?’

I shift on my feet, suddenly feeling so dumb. ‘I, um…I can’t sleep.’

He blinks at me, his lips twitching into a lazy smirk. ‘You worried about getting caught?’

I glare, but it lacks heat. ‘Obviously.’

Jaxon shakes his head, stepping back and pulling me inside before I can talk myself out of it. I laugh quietly, biting my lip as he closes the door behind us.

Then, he nods toward his window, biting his lip, barely containing a mischievous grin. ‘C’mon.’

He grabs a sweatshirt and tugs it on before turning to me with another in his hands.

‘Arms up.’ I do as he says, and he pulls his hoodie down over me. It smells just like him, and I can already tell he won’t be getting this one back. The warmth and scent of him instantly calm me.

He smirks at me, as if he can hear my inner monologue. I watch as he moves to the window, unlocking it before pushing it open. The night air rushes in, cool and crisp, carrying the scent of salt and ocean mist.

Climbing out onto the roof, he turns, standing easily on the gentle slope just outside his window, grinning at me as he holds out a hand.

‘You know she’s going to end us if she catches us again, right?’

‘Relax, Mads. We’re adults now.’

I glance past him, taking in the view. The ocean stretches out in the distance, the moonlight dancing across the water, casting a soft silver glow over everything.

It’s breathtaking, just like it’s always been.

Then, hesitantly, I take his hand, letting him guide me out onto the roof.

We settle down, side by side, the cool night air wrapping around us as the sound of waves fills the silence.

Jaxon exhales, leaning back on his hands. ‘I used to come up here all the time when I couldn’t sleep, even when you weren’t here.’

I glance at him, my heart still racing. ‘Did it help?’

He smirks, tilting his head toward me. ‘You tell me.’

I turn back toward the ocean, my breath catching as I take it all in. The sky is endless, the stars scattered like dust, the waves rolling in steady, calming.

I do feel calmer, and maybe it’s not just the view.

Maybe it’s him.

I pull my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top, voice softer now. ‘I think it does.’

Jaxon shifts, draping an arm around me, pulling me closer. I settle into him, the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my cheek, and exhale.

I finally feel like I can breathe.

Jaxon’s body is warm against mine, the kind of touch that doesn’t just ground me—it settles me, like his presence alone is enough to quiet the noise in my head.

The sound of the ocean fills the silence between us, waves rolling in and out, rhythmic and constant. The moon casts a soft glow over everything, making the world feel smaller, quieter.

I close my eyes for a second, listening, letting it all sink in. I shift, resting my cheek against his shoulder. ‘What kept you up?’

His fingers absentmindedly trace slow circles against my arm where it rests against his stomach. He’s quiet for a long moment, and I don’t push him.

Finally, he sighs.

‘A lot of things,’ he admits. ‘Football. The draft. If I was doing enough, if I was being enough.’ He pauses, then huffs out a quiet chuckle. ‘And, if I’m being honest…you.’

My breath catches, my pulse stuttering. I turn my head slightly, looking up at him, but he’s still staring out at the water. ‘Me?’

Jaxon exhales, rubbing a hand over his jaw. ‘Yeah, Mads. You.’

I swallow, suddenly hyper aware of everything—the way his fingers tighten slightly on my arm, the way his heartbeat isn’t as steady as I thought it was.

He turns then, looking down at me, his gaze softer now. ‘I spent so many nights up here wondering if you were okay. If you were happy. If you ever thought about calling me the way I wanted to call you.’

My throat closes. ‘I thought about it,’ I whisper, surprising myself with the admission. ‘All the time, actually. I think I did one night. I must’ve hung up before you could answer.”

Jaxon shifts to face me better, confusion clouding his features. ‘Why didn’t you try again?’

I stare out at the ocean, gathering courage. ‘Because I was scared. I’d convinced myself you were better off without me in your life, less likely to get hurt.’

‘Madison.’ There’s a gentle firmness in his voice that makes me look at him. ‘That was never true. Not for a single day.‘

I blink back the sudden sting in my eyes. ‘You don’t understand, Jax. I was a mess. I still am. There are days when I can barely get out of bed, when everything feels too much and not enough at the same time.’ The words tumble out faster now. ‘And you—you’ve always been so sure, so steady. You deserve someone who isn’t…broken.’

Jaxon’s expression changes, something fierce flashing in his eyes. ‘Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.’

‘What? That I’m broken? We both know⁠—’

‘No,’ he cuts me off, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. ‘You’re not broken, Mads. You’re human. You’ve been through things no one should have to go through, and you’re still here. Still fighting. Still trying. That’s not broken—that’s brave.’

I shake my head, unable to accept his words. ‘I don’t know how to do this, Jax. I don’t know how to be what you deserve.’

His brows pull together, his lips parting like I just gutted him.

Then, without hesitation, he shakes his head. ‘Mads, you’re already what I want.’

I blink at him, my throat burning.

‘How can you be so sure?’ I ask, the question I’ve been afraid to voice finally slipping out. ‘How do you know you won’t wake up one day and realize this—me—is too much work? That I’m not worth it?’

He’s quiet for a moment, his thumb stroking my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. When he speaks, his voice is low, steady, certain.

‘Because I’ve known you since we were kids, Mads. I’ve seen you at your best and at your worst. I’ve watched you push people away when you’re scared, and I’ve seen the way you love—fiercely, completely when you let yourself.’ He pauses, his gaze intensifying. ‘And not once, not for a single moment, have I ever thought you weren’t worth everything.’

The sincerity in his voice makes my chest ache.

‘But what if I mess this up?’ My voice cracks. ‘What if I run again?‘

Jaxon’s lips curve into a soft smile. ‘Then I’ll come find you, every time.’

I let out a shaky breath. ‘You can’t just say things like that.’

‘Why not? It’s the truth.’

‘Because it makes me want to believe you,’ I admit, the words barely audible.

His expression softens. ‘Then believe me, Mads. I’m not going anywhere.’

I swallow hard, my hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. ‘My dad said that too, you know. Before he started drinking. Before everything fell apart.’

Understanding dawns in Jaxon’s eyes. ‘Is that what you’re afraid of? That I’ll change? That I’ll leave?’

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

Jaxon sighs, running a hand through his hair. ‘I can’t promise life won’t get hard, Mads. I can’t promise we won’t face challenges or that we won’t ever hurt each other.’ He takes my hands in his. ‘But I can promise you this: I will never stop choosing you. Not when it’s easy, and especially not when it’s hard.’

He leans his forehead against mine, his voice dropping to a whisper. ‘You don’t have to have it all figured out, Mads. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you and let me love you the way I already do.’

I suck in a breath.

His eyes go wide for half a second, like he just realized what he said.

But he doesn’t take it back.

He just holds my gaze, steady and sure.

And God, he really means it.

He loves me. He always has.

‘What if I can’t say it back yet?’ I whisper, voicing my deepest fear.

Jaxon’s expression doesn’t change. ‘Then you don’t say it, not until you’re ready. Not until you mean it.’

‘And you’d be okay with that? With not knowing?‘

He smiles, a gentle, knowing smile that reaches his eyes. ‘Mads, I’ve been in love with you since we were seven, maybe six. I think I can wait a little longer for you to catch up.’

A small laugh escapes me, watery and surprised. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘Maybe,’ he agrees, brushing his nose against mine. ‘But I’m yours—if you want me.’

The simplicity of his offer, the sincerity behind it, breaks something open inside me.

‘I do,’ I whisper. ‘Want you, I mean. I’m just scared.’

‘I know,’ he says softly. ‘And that’s okay. We can be scared together.’

I lean into him then, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder. His arms encircle me immediately, strong and sure, holding me like I’m something precious.

‘I’m trying, Jax,’ I murmur against his skin. ‘I really am.’

He presses a kiss to the top of my head, his voice a gentle rumble against my ear. ‘That’s all I’m asking for, Mads. Just try. We’ll figure out the rest as we go.’

We sit there for a long time, the waves crashing in the distance, his arms wrapped around me like he’s keeping me safe. The weight in my chest feels lighter somehow, as if sharing it with him has made it easier to bear.

‘You know what I think?’ he says eventually, his voice quiet in the night.

‘What?’

‘I think we’ve both been waiting for this a lot longer than we want to admit.’

I pull back slightly, meeting his gaze. ‘Yeah. I think you might be right.’

He smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. ‘Just promise me one thing?’

‘What’s that?’

‘No more running without talking to me first, even if you’re scared—especially if you’re scared.‘

I nod slowly, knowing it won’t be easy but wanting to try—for him, for us. ‘I promise.’

Jaxon’s smile widens, and he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. ‘Then we’re going to be just fine, Mads.’

And for the first time in a very long time, I believe it might be true.