The first thing I feel is heavy, like my body weighs a thousand pounds, like Iâm sinking into the mattress, like my limbs arenât mine to move.
The second thing I feel is pain, a dull, pounding ache in my skull, radiating down the back of my neck into my shoulders.
I groan, shifting slightly, and thatâs when I hear itââJaxon?â
My momâs voice, soft but urgent.
I blink against the harsh fluorescent lights, my vision adjusting, the room slowly coming into focus.
White walls. IV drip. Heart monitor beeping steadily. A weird tube tickling at my nose.
A hospital.
My chest tightens, memories flooding back all at onceâ â
The game. The final drive. The hit.
And thenâ¦nothing.
Shit.
I shift again, muscles protesting, and suddenly, my mom is right there, her warm hands cupping my face, brushing back my hair, checking every inch of me like she can see where it hurts.
âOh, honey.â Her voice trembles slightly, and thatâs when I notice her eyes are red-rimmed, her face pale.
My dad stands beside her, hands in his pockets, trying to look calmâbut I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw is clenched tight.
I force my lips into a smirk. âYâall look like someone died.â
My mom sniffs, shaking her head. âDonât joke about that, Jaxon Montgomery.â
Dad clears his throat. âGave us a hell of a scare, son.â
I exhale, my head throbbing at the slightest movement. âHow bad?â
Mom grips my hand tight. âNo concussion. No fractures, no internal bleeding. They said it was a bad hit, but youâre going to be okay.â
I nod slowly, processing. I should feel relieved, but the tightness in my chest doesnât let up.
Because thereâs only one question on my mind.
I shift slightly, my voice quieter. âWhereâs Madison?â
Mom and Dad exchange a look, and that tells me everything I need to know.
Sheâs not here.
The knowledge slams into me like a second hit, sharp and brutal.
I swallow against the ache in my throat. âShe didnât come?â
Mom squeezes my hand. âHoneyâ ââ
Before she can finish, the door swings open.
âWell, look who finally decided to wake his ass up.â
Carter.
Relief washes through me at the sight of him, his expression lighter than my parentsâ but still tight with concern. He strides in, arms crossed, but his eyes scan me like heâs checking for himself that Iâm actually okay.
I smirk weakly. âYou miss me, Hayes?â
He snorts, dragging the chair beside my bed and plopping down. âYeah, yeah. Donât let it go to your head.â
I huff then wince, because even that hurts.
Carter watches me carefully before his smirk softens slightly. âScared the shit out of all of us, man.â
I donât answer, because thereâs still one thing I need to know.
I clear my throat. âHave you seen Madison?â
Carter hesitates, and thatâs all I need to know before my chest locks up again.
His voice is careful when he answers. âSheâs here. She was in the waiting room when I got here.â
I latch onto that. âSo sheâs coming back?â
Carterâs expression shifts with a flicker of something heâs trying to hide, and I feel the answer in my gut before he even says it. âShe looked like she was about to leave.â
I freeze.
Carter leans forward, his voice low, like he knows this is going to wreck me. âI donât know, man. She was talking to your dad when we got here, then justâ¦stayed out there. Said we could go ahead and see you first.â
I swallow hard, trying to keep my expression neutral, trying to breathe through the weight settling in my chest.
She was here. She came.
But sheâs still running, still keeping that space between us, still deciding for me that whatever we had isnât worth saving.
And that?
That hurts more than anything Iâve ever felt before.
More than the hit.
More than every bruise on my body combined.
Because at the end of the day, the physical pain?
Thatâll heal.
Losing her? That wonât.
The locker room feels different now.
Itâs quiet, no usual pre-game buzz or post-practice shit-talking. Thereâs only the hum of fluorescent lights overhead and the distant echo of weights clanking in the training room.
I walk down the hallway toward Coachâs office, my duffel bag slung over my shoulder, my head still pounding with a dull ache that hasnât completely gone away.
Itâs been three days since Pacific Coast Academy won its first championship title in years.
Three days since I woke up in the hospital.
Three days since Madison sat in that waiting room and didnât come to see me.
I grit my teeth, pushing the thought away as I knock on Coach Hardingâs office door.
âCome in.â
I push the door open, stepping inside. Coach is behind his desk, scrolling through something on his tablet, but he looks up the second I enter.
âMontgomery.â He leans back in his chair, studying me. âHowâs the head?â
I shift my bag onto the floor, dropping into the chair across from him. âStill there.â
He raises a brow. âYou get clearance from the doc yet?â
âTomorrow morning.â
He nods, satisfied. âGood. You took a hell of a hit out there.â
I huff out a humorless laugh. âYeah, so Iâve been told.â
Coach gives me a look, like he knows Iâve been replaying it in my head nonstop since it happened, like he knows Iâm pissed I didnât see it coming, that I didnât get to finish the game.
That I woke up in a hospital instead of celebrating with my team.
But he doesnât dwell on it. Instead, he clicks his tablet off and leans forward, resting his forearms on his desk. âAlright, letâs talk about whatâs next. Youâve got Pro Day coming up in March, and from everything Iâm hearing, the scouts are already circling. That game may not have ended the way you wanted, but your tape speaks for itself.â
I nod, trying to focus, trying to shift my head to what actually matters. âWhich teams?â
âSame ones as before,â he says. âA lot of interest on the East Coast. New Haven, Atlantic City, and Charleston are all still in the mix. Plus, I got a call from a couple of others asking for updated medicals after the hit. No oneâs backing off. Youâre still a projected first-rounder.â
I exhale slowly, nodding. I should feel excited, relieved.
This is what Iâve worked for, what Iâve built my entire life around.
And yetâ¦
Thereâs an ache in my chest I canât shake.
Because no matter where I go, no matter how big the contract is, no matter which team calls my name on draft nightâ â
She wonât be there.
I shake my head, forcing my focus back. âWhatâs the plan between now and then?â
âFirst, we need you cleared,â Coach says. âThen, itâs training. Your agentâs already lining things up for youâcombine drills, private workouts, interviews. Pro Day is gonna be your big moment.â
I nod. I expected that.
Coach studies me for a second. âYou ready for it?â
Physically? Yes.
Mentally?
I have to be.
I square my shoulders. âYeah. Iâm ready.â
Coach nods like he believes me. âGood. Because in a few months, your lifeâs gonna change, and I need you locked in, Montgomery.â
I exhale, steadying myself, shoving everything else down.
I step out of Coachâs office, the weight of the conversation still sitting heavy on my chest.
Pro Day. The draft. My life changing in a few months.
I should be pumped. Every kid who ever picked up a football dreams of this moment, of getting that call, hearing their name announced, walking across that stage with their new teamâs jersey in hand.
Itâs everything Iâve worked for, everything Iâve built my life around.
And yet, as I climb into my truck and grip the steering wheel, it all feelsâ¦hollow.
Because every version of my future, every possibility that plays out in my headâ â
None of them have her in it.
I throw the truck into reverse, backing out of the lot and taking the familiar route back to the football house, my fingers tight around the wheel. I try to picture it, what my life is going to look like in six months.
Option One:
I go first round. I end up on the East Coast, with one of the teams thatâs been after me since the season started.
New city. New apartment. New everything.
I wake up, go to practice, and grind every damn day to prove I belong there, that I deserve the spot I was given. I go home to an empty place. I eat dinner alone. I stare at my phone, wondering if sheâs thought about me, wondering if she even cares where I ended up.
Wondering if sheâs still here, on campus, finishing her last semester, pretending we never happened.
Option Two:
The exact same thingâexcept Madison is there.
Except sheâs waiting for me after practice, curled up on my couch, stealing my hoodies like they belong to her.
Except weâre cooking dinner together, laughing as she burns the garlic bread, sneaking kisses while the TV plays in the background.
Except sheâs in the crowd at my first game, wearing my number, her hands tucked into the sleeves of my oversized sweatshirt, proud of me.
Mine.
I blink hard, forcing my grip to loosen on the wheel.
But that future? It doesnât exist.
Because she left. She sat in that hospital waiting room and still chose to walk away from me. No matter how much I want her, no matter how much Iâve always wanted herâ â
She doesnât want me the same way.
I exhale slowly, shaking my head as I pull onto my street.
The football house comes into view, and I instinctively scan the driveway, half-expecting Carterâs truck to be there, half-expecting the guys to already be celebrating the end of the season with too much beer and a busted speaker system.
Instead, my gaze snags on something I donât expect.
Someone.
Sitting on my front steps, arms wrapped around herself, dark hair spilling over the shoulders of a hoodie thatâs too big for her, is Madison.
My chest tightens.
She hasnât looked up yet, hasnât realized Iâm here, but sheâs here.
Waiting for me.
For a second, I just sit there, staring, afraid if I move too fast, if I breathe the wrong way, sheâll disappear. I worry my mind made her up, like sheâs just another daydreamâanother piece of the life I wish I had.
But then, she shifts slightly, tucking her knees closer to her chest, and I know sheâs real.
I pull into the driveway, my pulse hammering in my ears, my hands suddenly damp against the wheel. I have no idea what sheâs doing here, no idea what sheâs about to say.
But what I do know?
No matter how much I try to tell myself I should be angry, that I should make her feel the ache of missing someone like she forced on me, I already know I wonât.
Madison Blake is sitting on my front porch, and I still want her more than I want my next damn breath.
But when her broken eyes meet mine, I get the feeling she didnât come to stay.