Chapter 25: Disobedient

Jillian's POV

I laid on the bed after training, my hair was drying from the shower I had taken. So I spent the time on my phone looking at funny cat videos. The males and some fighting females had stayed back with Damien while he instructed fight training. The runs were for every pack member, but these specific trainings were for the wolves that defended our pack. I left of my own accord, but I think that Damien would have forced me to leave because of the fight that happened last time anyway.

I giggled at a fat cat that tried to jump out a window and fell on his face instead. Then my ring tone sounded loudly causing me to jump like the feline I had just watched. Ruby's smiling face appeared on the screen, she was trying to facetime me.

I picked up.

"Jillian!!!"

"Ruby Tuesday!!!"

My sister grinned at me. I could tell she was just walking into the pack house. Unlike Damien and I, she and her mate lived with the rest of the pack in the pack house. Her dark blonde hair was in a messy bun and she looked rather comfortable.

"You gotta guess where Ian and I just went" She teased.

"Where?"

"I sad guess, silly! But whatever you would take too long and I'm really excited to tell you"

Soon a weird picture was shoved in front of the camera. It was black and white and there was a funny looking blob in the center. It was her pup's ultrasound!

"That little bean is my child!!!" A deep male voice yelled gleefully. Alpha Ian Sharpe. Then a thick manly finger pointed to the head of the blob, "That's his head!" Sharpe observed.

"Ian! Shut up, we don't know if its a boy or not." The picture was dropped and I watched Ruby stare down her mate. He looked at her like she was crazy, "Are you challenging my manliness?"

"Maybe I am" Ruby's eyebrow quirked. Sharpe made a face and rolled his eyes before looking to me, "Sup, Lil' Jill"

I absolutely hated when he called me that. Sharpe was like my older brother in that sense, he liked to tease me and make fun of me. When I first met him I would cry a lot, not only because he teased me, but because he was a man. Really it was because he was an Alpha. "You know I hate that" I remarked. After we settled our differences and I understood that his comments weren't purposefully offensive we became great friends. He tought me how to fight and defend myself because my father was to busy beating me and not training me. I was called weak without the chance to prove myself.

"That's why I do it" He winked.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Ruby asked rudely. I loved watching their domestic relationship. Unlike Damien and I they were super chill with each other. We would get there someday.

Sharped huffed and turned "Bye, Jillian. I hope your mate is treating you right," he kissed Ruby's cheek, even though the camera wasn't that low, I could tell he touched her belly too. Ruby sighed when he left and sat down on a couch. "But really, sis what is he like? At the dinner he seemed pretty distant and aggressive..."

I froze for a moment. I don't know why but I had avoided this question nearly every time my sister asked it. I knew she was being protective and she genuinely wanted me to be in safe hands. Ever since we had been pups we had not been far apart, we were almost always side by side.

I felt my face burn a little bit, last night we had said the "L" word. I mean he said it to me when he marked me, but that was kinda what he had to say. Last night was so strange, it was strange to be so vulnerable but it felt good to let it all go.

"Oh, you have that dreamy look in your eyes.." Ruby taunted me like I used to do to her when she talked about Sharpe. I smiled and rolled onto my back "I really warmed up to him"

"Did he buy you peanut butter or something? Because I remember you saying, "I could never love an Alpha"" Ruby smirked.

I swore up and down that I could never have an Alpha for a mate, so much so I started to believe it, but what did the Moon decide to do?

"No, he made my toast the way I like it" I bit my lip and looked away dreamily. Ruby laughed, she knew that I would fall head over heels in love with someone who gave me access to food. I got up and started moving toward the kitchen, all this talk about toast was making me hungry.

I asked Ruby how everything was going over there, she told me that many other females were pregnant as well, so soon a bunch of pups would be running around. They weren't called Harvest Moon Pack for nothing, I snickered to myself when I put the bread in the toaster.

"Jillian, I just came up with the best idea ever!"

I looked down at her and rose my eyebrow, what could she have up her sleeve this time?

"You should pay us a visit! I know that a majority of the females have missed you already. They ask me for updates on you constantly, but you know how little we talk over the phone. We have to meet up so we can have an actual conversation!"

I smeared butter on my golden brown toast in thought. Damien wouldn't have any objection if i asked him at the right time, he would probably want us to meet up in completely natural territory to avoid clashing. It also depended on how intense the disagreement between the pack that Kurtis killed the Alpha of was at the time.

"When?" I went outside to get some sun and eat my breakfast.

"Like tonight, or tomorrow"

I could not lie, I wanted to see my sister very much. We were very close and she was my best friend. These three weeks away from Harvest have been pretty tough as well. "I'd have to ask Damien"

"Why? He's not the ruler of you" Ruby remarked rather rudely. At that very moment I could smell him. I almost immediately ducked behind some bushes when I heard him talking sternly to someone. I hated his angry, disappointed voice.

"Shhh" I hushed my sister form her rant about feminism and how the wolf hierarchy was all messed up. Normally I would hop onto her soap box with her, but I was scared out of my socks right now. I switched the camera to front facing so she could see what I was witnessing right now.

Damien was with an adolescent male, who was looking about as rebellious as that tattoo you have that you haven't told your parents about. My mate had his intimidation dialed all the way up, with his arms crossed and that null expression on his face. "Explain yourself" he ordered and I shivered from his tone. I hated when Alphas had to discipline the pack members, but  it was one of those things that had to happen. An Alpha had to be revered and feared amongst his peers and pack.

I swallowed when the teen looked right in Damien's eyes and snarled. Damien was taller and more developed but I could tell that the boy could pack quite a punch as well. The testosterone in the air made me want to squirm. I wanted to call out to the boy and tell him to not challenge Damien in such a way.

Damien growled back, twice as menacing and much deeper than the other male's. I knew the boy knew it best to stand down, but his pride made him stubborn. "I will not stand down, Alpha" he said and I saw Damien flex subconsciously. He really didn't want to hurt the boy, but he would have provoked his punishment.

"This is the third time since you went to my division from the Beta's. Iv'e been rather patient, don't you think?" Anger turned his words bitter. I heard my sister take in a breath.

"Alpha..."

"You will respect me, and not interrupt" Damien whispered menacingly. He was right on the verge of reaching out and snapping the boys neck. I could tell.

The boy paled and kept his mouth shut. Damien walked around him like a predator watching his prey, "You know, David, I liked you" Damien used his finger to lift the boys defiant chin, daring him to look in The Alpha's eyes, "You were on my list of new guards for the next moon cycle. But what kind of guard can't listen to his leader?"

"Alpha I-" Damien whirled around and slapped the David right in the face. The shock and power behind the blow made David fall to the ground. "I SAID NO INTERRUPTIONS!" Damien crouched down David's level, hovering over him. "You will learn submission and how to hold your tongue"

I bit my lips to keep from screaming and throwing myself between them. Damien might...no he would hurt anything that got in his way in this state.

It took me a moment to notice that my mate's hand was on the boys throat, "Submit"

David was currently lying on his side, holding his arms over his stomach, for true submission was shown when you were on your back, stomach out and neck revealed. The male began sobbing when he turned on his back, he knew that his life would be compromised to a name and death date if he refused any more.

His pride had been crushed.

Damien stood over him, "You will sleep with the dogs tonight" He said. I could only imagine how bad that was because the boy began to cry harder and whimper incoherent and disconnected sentences about how sorry he was. Damien just turned and looked the other way, his hands clasped behind his back. I held my stomach to keep from vomiting.

"David, leave. The Gamma will collect you when evening falls" Damien said calmly and David scrambled away, wiping his face with his shaking hands.

I decided that I would stay in my spot until Damien left.

"Jillian" I jumped when I heard my name come from his mouth. I ended my call with Ruby without a goodbye. He looked to me, "Go to my office"

I stood and looked at him. His eyes were dark and wild, I knew his wolf had prodded him to make his decisions. "NOW!" he barked. Without a single hesitation I ran towards the front door and to his office.

***

I sat in the office literally shaking. I knew that discipline had to be administered to the wolves, or else Damien would have a rebelling pack on his hands. No Alpha wanted to deal with that. But sometimes discipline became abuse, I was a prime example of that. It scared me to think about what "Sleeping with the dogs" meant. There were rumors of the Crescent Moon Pack being one of the best packs to be tortured in. Would Damien torture his own pack? My hands became clammy at the idea.

The strong  fresh smell of my mate assaulted my senses when he barged into his office. He had just showered and changed from his training gear. I jumped up and stood a good distance away from him. He sat in his chair and patted his knee, beckoning me to sit there. Not wanting to make him more upset, I straddled his hips. My eyes widened when he stoked my cheek and moved my hair from my face. "Don't worry, I'm not mad" his voice was soft and Gladys got me to lean to his touch. My eyes closed slowly and I treasured every lightning sensation that shot through my skin.

All to soon Damien let his hand drop and my eyes opened once again. I watched him sigh and let his head fall on the back of the wing-backed chair. I bit my lip and stayed perfectly still, Remember how you want to go see Ruby, I reminded myself. He would surely say no unless I calmed him down.

My hand crept up his arm and rested on his bicep, with the other I moved the collar of his v-neck shirt to expose the mark I had put there. His was similar to mine in the fact that it was a crescent moon, but his was blood red and much more manly than mine. I rolled my thumb over it, Damien's shoulder twitched slightly. I moved my hand from his bicep and cupped his cheek so his head would lull to the side and I could have better access to his neck. I bent over and ever so gently brushed my lips against the marking. Damien's hands tightened around my hips and I smiled to know that it was working.

I kissed his neck a little bit more aggressively every time. I nipped and kissed all the way up to his ear where I nibbled on his ear lobe. He growled slightly when I did, his breathing was also being affected by my actions, more rapid and his heart beat faster. "Damien.." I whispered, "Umhmm?" he hummed.

"Can I go see my sister?"

Well if that didn't kill the mood, I didn't know what did. Damien grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up from his neck. "Excuse me?"

"Can I go see Ruby this evening?" he was surely going to say no, but I had to try. He looked to the sky, deep in thought, "I can't just lock you up here, but you need to stay safe..." He murmured under his breath. I began kissing his neck again, taking my time on his mark, "Please?" I pouted. Damien sighed deeply and ran his hand through his sightly damp hair, "Listen to me"

I sat up and looked into his mismatched eyes. "As long as you meet in neutral territory, and come home at a reasonable hour, I'm fine"

I nearly swallowed my tongue I gasped so hard. I wanted pinch myself, thinking that it must be a dream that Damien wasn't being extremely overprotective. "Are you serious?" I bounced up and clapped my hands, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" I kissed all over his face. I began making my way to the door when he grabbed my hand, "Take Josie with you too, and give me a real kiss"

I could take Josie, I wanted her to meet Ruby anyway. I pressed a kiss to Damien's lips before I sprinted to Josie and Kurtis's room.

My knuckles hit the door like a woodpecker until she yelled "Come in!"

I was on cloud nine so I hopped in, Josie was in the en suite bathroom looking at herself in the mirror. "What's up?" She asked as she changed the head on her razor. "What are you doing?" I wondered, completely forgetting that she had just asked me a question. "I'm cutting my hair" she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Couldn't you just go get it cut?"

Josie looked at me and pursed her lips, "I'd much rather spend my money on shoes than to spend it on a touch up on my head"

I shrugged as she continued to cut her hair. She had a point, "So, is there a reason you came bounding up the stairs like a manic mountain goat?"

I leaned against the door frame and grinned like a maniac, "Damien is letting me go see my sister"

Josie ran the razor over the side of her scalp, "Oh, that's nice,"

"Uhhuh, he wants you to go with me" I played with my sleeve. Josie looked at me again, "Did you tell her yet?"

"No, he literally just said yes"

"Good." Josie kept on shaving, "Jillian, have you ever been clubbing?"

"No, I'm eighteen, I'm underage, plus I rarely go out" I answered honestly. I pulled out my phone to text Ruby. Then Josie's hand snatched it out of my hand, "You still need to live. By the time your 21, I bet that either you will be pregnant, or so emerged in pack business you can't even leave the territory"

I gasped at how easily she talked about how I was one day going to have pups. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that you need to live a little Jillian-Bean. You are too reserved, you need to get out there, break some rules and enjoy the rest of your life until you become like my brother" Josie took both my hands in hers and looked me dead in the eyes. She was implying that Damien was lame, that made Gladys unhappy. "But-"

"Shhhh" Josie cooed, "You have the chance, Damien is letting you go out. Your sister's pregnant right? How much fun will you have while shes carrying a pup?"

"But, I haven't seen her in a long time..."

"You have many chances to see her! You only have one chance to so this" Josie negotiated.

I bit my lip, remembering what Chloe, Eve,  and Claire had said about Josie hanging out with me, they said she did it because she was forced to, not because she actually liked me. No, no, no, mate will be upset if we disobey, Gladys warned. But I really wanted Josie to like me. If those girls said that she didn't then she must have a reason. Maybe I had bee keeping her from having fun and if we go out together then she will like me.

I gnawed at my lips, "He said to get home at a reasonable time. If we go to a club then we will loose track of time."

"That doesn't matter, just say that you and your sister got caught up talking"

Gladys kept sending me images of Damien and that other male that he yelled at earlier. But he wouldn't do that to me, would he?

I frowned, "I guess if we were careful, then he wouldn't even know..."

"Yes! And later down the line you can tell him and laugh about it" Josie grinned. She handed me back my phone, "Now all you have to do is tell your sister that you'll have to make a rain check..."

***

Three Hours Later

"Bye, sweetheart" Damien kissed me on the lips and gave me a hug, "Be safe" He murmured.

"I will, and even if I didn't say that I would try my best to be safe and keep out of trouble. You know? I'll go there and see my big sister, you know how much I miss her. Plus she's pregnant, I can't say no to a pregnant woman-"

Damien kissed me again and smiled, "I know you will"

I felt so guilty! He had complete trust in me and had no idea what me and his sister had planned. I almost told him right then and there, but I knew that Josie wouldn't be my friend if I did. That's such a petty reason to get socially killed by our mate, Gladys sneered.

I plastered on my best smile and waved to him when I went out the front door. Sadly I agreed with Gladys, I knew that during this trip I would be rethinking my life choices every ten minuets. Some times I would think that I needed to break the system and rebel, then I would think about how comfy I would be in my bed snuggled next to my happy mate.

I closed the door of the hummer and sank down in the passenger seat, melting in my own shame. Josie patted my leg and started the car, driving down the driveway and out of my mate's property. Soon we would be out of his territory. Josie played music and bobbed her head to it, I wanted to close my ears and die. Once we were out of Crescent territory Josie drove for a few more miles then pulled over into the brush.

We had planned this all out. After a few miles out of Damien's range we would pull over and Josie would get me "bar ready"(AKA getting dressed in a tiny black dress and making my makeup water proof, in the backseat of a hummer). My dress was black and had long sleeves, and the hem barely made it to my mid thigh. Josie shoved my feet into a pair of her sky high heels. She had already put makeup on my face at the house, so there wasn't much that she did to me besides making sure nothing had smudged. She changed as well into a deep red dress with a mock-neck and quarter sleeves with the same amount of shortness as mine.

When we started driving again and it hit me, "Why are we going to a bar when we can't even get drunk?"

Yes! Send us home!!, Gladys yelped, she was the one mainly feeling the brunt of our rebellion so she really wanted to go home and be in Damien's good graces. I did too, but I reminded my self that I was doing this for myself and Josie, she had practically begged me to do this with her. It made me feel better that if she got in trouble I would get in trouble with her. I considered her my friend and we would go down together. You are so stupid, Gladys kept on pacing, I shoved her back. I refused to change my mind about this, I'd already come this far, I could keep going.

"You are right, but all we need are a couple drops of wolf's bane to slower our metabolism to that of a humans. It also shuts up our wolves so we can have fun" Josie explained.

"Wolf's Bane?!" If that was the case I was definitely going home. Gladys pushed her way back up front, growling at the idea. That stuff was used to kill or suppress one's wolf, it was often fatal. If I died, I would be in much more trouble with Damien than if I was alive. "Don't worry, we won't die from it. Iv'e done this hundreds of times and here I am, right?"

I leaned back in my seat, that did not make me feel better. I never wanted to willingly have wolf's bane in my life. Especially if it was to get drunk. Josie already told me how we would get in because I was three years under age. Apparently she "knew people" so to her it wan't a problem. I squirmed in my seat, trying to calm my nerves. It was still bothering me that Damien thought I was at some innocent place like a park talking to my sister with Josie lagging in the back. It tortured me that I lied right to his happy face, convincing him that I was being well- behaved.

I forced myself not to think about it and dance in my seat to the song on the radio.

An hour later we pulled into an already filled parking lot to a bar. Josie promised that because it was my first time doing anything like this that we would go to a bar, and not a crazy club. I should be thankful, I guess. I froze for a moment when we parked. I saw the line that had already started to form around the bouncer who looked like he would just murder any drunk who got in his way. Anxious sweat coated my palm, I had forgotten that people were a thing, they would try to talk to me an dance with me. I would die by the end of the night.

"Hand me my purse" Josie reached for the floor by my leg. I gave her the bag and she dug around to pull out a dark blue vial. The smell was muted by the tight cap, Josie pulled off the cork that was attached to a dropper that you would use in a science lab. She put three drops on her tongue, she then turned to me, "How much do you weigh?" I did not like how this was going, and neither did Gladys, she was freaking out over the possible loss of her life. I kept my mouth closed, but I knew that if I lied then I would definitely die so I licked my lips, "118 pounds"

Josie measured out my dosage and motioned for me to open my mouth, I shyed away. "Don't wuss out on me now" Josie groaned and remembering the girls voices, I opened my mouth and soon tasted the bitter drops on my tongue. My stomach burned when it went down, and Gladys became heavily sedated in my head. She flopped down and rested on her side, her breathing labored and tired. "Also, put this somewhere safe" Josie handed me the key to her hummer, "I'm counting on you to be able to get us back home"

I was the designated driver, that was nice.

After getting out of the car, Josie skipped the line and I nearly pulled her back when she gave the bouncer a big hug. "Hi, Kenny!" she cried when she threw her hands around him. I made sure to keep my face neutral, and not show how nervous or how  underage I was. "Hello, Josie" He answered, his voice matching his body perfectly. Really deep and manly. The shortness of his hair and the the few scars pocking his face indicated ex military. Kenny looked at me and I nearly cowered. "She your friend, Joe?"

Josie grinned back at me, "Yeah, she's with me" she looped her arm through mine. Kenny looked me up and down, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed with critique. After a few moments of looking at me he opened the door and grinned, "Any friend of JoJo's is a friend of mine"

While we walked through I could hear the angry grumbles of the people in line. My wolf may be out cold and some of my senses less heightened than what they originally are, but a human could hear the way they groaned and complained about the people that had to smile and look at the bouncer to get in.

Once we stepped in, my senses over loaded, the sound of obnoxious laughter, and the stench of liquor burned my nostrils. I winced and held Josie's arm tighter when a woman in a pink dress tighter than I was holding Josephine's arm began dancing to the music that played. Josie took me to the bar and created a tab, apparently once we got in we could just get drinks with out needing ID afterwards.

Josie motioned for the bartender and ordered a drink, when it was my turn to get something I was too awestruck to say anything so, she got me some sort of cocktail with less vodka than hers. I took a sip and it burned all the way down and stayed in the pit of my stomach, knotting up with my guilt and disgust.

Josie downed her glass along with two more shots of something deadly. After a moment of steadying herself against the counter she started walking away, "I'm going upstairs"

Then she was gone.

I would have sniffed out where she was going then gauged my intrigue based on how smelly it was. But my wolf was out of commission, and the wolf's bane was taking its toll on my body. I held the stem of my glass near hard enough to break it. Josie never told me to leave my drink anywhere, as a wolf I had never feared being poisoned until now.

With a sigh I turned around the space. In one corner were some men who looked like bikers and they laughed together while sipping beer. In the other were some rowdy looking collage age guys. So I  found myself a spot where I could see the stairs that Josie had went up, but also be hidden from all the people.

At first I struggled to get into the tall bar stool in heels, but I made it. Once I got settled I almost immediately began to miss Gladys and how we could spend all this time talking. I pulled out my phone and sat it down on the bar in front of me.

I almost wanted Damien to call me so I could tell him the truth and have him pick me up. But of course I didn't have the guts to call him myself. I had more chances of not getting in trouble if I told the truth faster than letting the lie eat away with the time.

Stop thinking about it, I growled to myself then taking a swig of my toxic drink. I hated how it tasted and I could never understand how someone would willingly drink it.

The ache in my stomach and throat became a dull reminder of what I had drunk, mainly because the alcohol was getting to my head. I felt more confidant sitting there by myself, and dancing on a table seemed like a really good idea for a moment. I ordered another drink and when I got it I smiled while I sipped. Then I remembered Josie, so I cooled down on the liquor. I still had to think about her, it would be selfish not to.

I began to stare at my phone again. If I was at home then I wouldn't be thinking like this, my body wouldn't be slowly slipping out of my control, and I would still be able to enjoy my night.

"Hey, darling, you've been sitting here for the past hour. Got stood up?" This guy took the seat next to me. He was just a regular person, brown hair, blue polo. Nothing memorable, plus my mind was all fogged up from the concoction I had been sipping religiously since I got here.

"I guess" Josie had ditched me to go upstairs and now I was sitting by myself for so long that some dude came up to me and was worried if I was alright.

"Well that's too bad for him, baby. He doesn't know what he's missing" he man touched my arm and ran his hand up and down the length of it. I took my phone and held it in my lap. "What's your name, sunshine?"

"I'm wearing all black"

The guy looked at me funny then chuckled in a way that many other girls would have swooned over but I was unimpressed. You see, if Damien did that, I'd be all over it, but this guy made me unreasonably uncomfortable.

"That's not what I meant, baby girl" He smiled at me. "I'm not a baby" I took my arm from his grasp.

After a few more minuets of his relentless flirting and I kept cutting him down, he finally left while muttering "No wonder he didn't come"

I just smirked and turned away from him.

***

Five Hours Later

I looked at my phone and nearly jumped out of my skin at the time. Ever since I stopped drinking, the buzz had died down and a woman came up to me sobbing about a man named Tony who had just dumped her very publicly. I listened to her and I guess the time had run along with her mouth.

I nearly ran up the stairs to find Josie (as well as you can run in heels), my wolf body had begun to come back slowly, so I could faintly smell her in the mix of bodies.

Upstairs  was filled with drunk humans, dancing and singing. Colored lights beamed from the roof, music blasted and I felt the urge to cover my ears many times. A male jumped in front of me and begun dancing, trying to get me to dance with him, but I sidestepped. I elbowed through the crowd to see Josephine dancing like a maniac with some humans I have never seen before.

"Jillian!! She shrieked, no one looked at her oddly, because they had been yelling themselves at one point in the night. I reached her and she gave me a big hug "We need to go!" I yelled above the music. "No we don't!!" she protested. I yanked her away, her wolf's bane dose had not worn off and she was still drunk. I practically carried her down the stairs because she was to intoxicated to do so herself.

While I closed the tab that she had opened, Josie whined about how we could stay just a little bit longer, and nothing would happen because of it. I refused time and time again. My wolf's bane was practically gone and the stench of humans, vomit, and alcohol was near unbearable.

After pouring her into the backseat, I started the Hummer and headed home.

***

Once I pulled up to the driveway, Kurtis was there to collect his mate, but he seemed worried when he looked at me. With Josie passed out in his arms he smiled sadly at me, "He's not happy" then he went up to his room.

I picked up my phone and realized that Damien had called me five times. Guilt hit me again and I shivered while I went up to our bedroom. I wasn't scared that Damien would hit me or anything like that, I was scared that he would have that disappointed look in his eyes and reject me.

I am such an idiot. There was no questioning it. Gladys had woken up, but she was mad at me too, it makes sense, I did knock her out so that I could lie to my mate.

I reached the door, and I could smell the rage seeping through it.

I needed to face the consequences of my actions. So I stood tall and opened the door.

Damien's back was to me and he was quiet so I tried to slip by and get to the bathroom.  "Did you have fun?" his voice was deep loud compared to the silence that had filled the room before. I jumped and looked at him. His eyes were dark and hurt. But above all they were wild. I pushed my back up to the wall.

He was fighting so hard to keep his wolf at bay, so hard to not hurt me. I could tell by the tenseness in his muscles, the twitch in his lip and the constant clenching and unclenching of his  fists.

Damien's eyes trailed up and down my body, noting my clothes, "That's not what you were wearing when you left nearly 9 hours ago"

"Damien, I am so-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" he snapped. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Correct me if I'm wrong-- actually don't, because I'm right. At the beginning of this relationship weren't you the one who couldn't trust me?"

He looked at me expectantly, I refused to speak and get him even more upset.

"Look at how the tables have turned" he murmured sadly. My chest ached and Gladys whimpered. "You lied to me Jillian...you lied" he looked me right in the eyes and I could tell that he was more sad than mad.

"Do you have any idea what could have happened? Do you know how much danger you put yourself in?!" His anger flared up again.

"I-I didn't mean it"

"YES YOU DID! YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE DOING AND YOU KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

I whimpered in fear, I did know what I was getting myself into. I bit my lip to keep from crying. I hated to lie to him, it hurt me as well. I felt horrible for making him so worried, it was three in the morning and he called me many times, he must have been scared out of his mind for me.

Then my arm was yanked up and I jumped. Damien ran his nose over my arm, "Male" he growled. He smelled that man that had tried to flirt with me at the bar. He pushed my arm back, "Explain"

I looked up at him, at his crossed arms and narrow eyes. "A man was flirting with me. I was drunk so-"

"You were drunk?" his eyes widened, "You took wolf's bane?"

Oh snap, "It was only a little...."

"Only a little? Only a little. You could have died!!" he ran his hands through his hair and he snarled while shaking his head. I was just making everything seem worse by talking, Did you ever think that it actually was that bad? Gladys wondered, her tail twitching with anger. She was mad at me too, she had every right. I had made the relationship that she worked so hard to maintain come crashing down.

"Explain everything." Damien commanded through gritted teeth. I hesitated, "Now!" his eyes snapped to me the gentle green one burning hot with rage and the brown nearly ink black.

"I just wanted Josie to like me....and she wanted me to come with her....I said yes and took wolf's bane to...to....I drank, I lied, got buzzed a guy talked to me-"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear anymore" Damien snapped, chest rising and falling. The bitterness in his words made my legs shake. I knew that he was fighting his wolf in his mind, even in this state he did not want to hurt me.

But I feared him even more with his mad eyes and disheveled hair. "Damien, I am so sorry", I reached out to him, "I didn't want to. I knew it was wrong and I just ignored-"

"DID I NOT TELL YOU TO BE QUIET?!" His voice in a loud roar, filled with venom. I had made him so exacerbated that if I even looked the wrong way he would shift. If I touched him then he would calm down, it usually worked. I put my hand on his chest and he snarled out a "No",  he then pushed past me and slammed the door shut.

My balance faltered on my heels and I fell over on the bed. I growled at them, ripped the painful things off and hurled them at the door. The loud noise they made when they hit the wood and clattered to the carpet were nothing compared to Damien's heated screams. My teeth ground when I thought of them.

My anger toward myself was unimaginable.

Tears fell down my cheeks without my knowledge. I couldn't believe that Damien had gotten upset when I had purposefully provoked him. The entire situation was my whole fault. My hair fell out from behind my ears and hid my face in darkness. I choked on my own pity and hate, the sobs filling the room like a choir lamenting over their sins. I thoughtlessly beat the pillows and stained them with my black mascara filled tears.  I tasted the salt on my tongue and smelt the shame radiating off my body like steam. My fists curled around the blankets when I thought of my sister. I had lied to her too. What have I become? I angrily thought as more unsteady weeping bubbled from my mouth and eyes.

The last time that I had cried myself to sleep, Damien had been there to hold me.

Author's Note:

I have no more words....

Do you think Damien is being controlling or is Jillian just stupid?

Is anyone really mad at Josie for peer-pressuring Jillian into doing things?

Damien is hurt by this, do you remember when Jillian was so wary of him and now that she trusts him she has made herself untrustworthy? Damien likes order, and to have control over his situation, he gave that control to Jillian in a way, he allowed her to go.

Jillian is just desperate for someone to like her, so much so she is willing for someone to be mad at her just to be in someone else's favor.

Thank you for reading and all that jazz. I love you all; have a good day

-Deanna