Hailee Steinfeld as Amalia Grey
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'Sometimes my heart hurts so much that I feel like it's going to explode. And on days like these I'd wish the sadness would stop consuming me. And while my heart is exploding I wish that I was too, because it's all too much and I'm much too young to be feeling nothing and everything all at once.
He was too good. He was too good to die. And now that he's gone I don't have anything or anyone to live for, I'm a soul seeking comfort and care. Why did he have to take Kane from me? Why!? The darkness doesn't seem comforting, I don't want to sink into it. When mum and dad died the darkness was comforting because at least the darkness was a reminder that they were real.
Help me. Just help me God. Wait, why am I asking for your help when you took them away from me? Why?
So long diary
Willow '
I shut the book that contains my hidden feelings, my darkest secrets and everything. I made Val take me home so I could get a few things, it's getting tiring wearing the same clothes every day.
My diary is the only person- well thing that I can talk too, I hate it when someone says that you're complaining when you just tell them how you're feeling. I hate a lot of things though; have I done anything wrong to deserve all of this? Have I sinned to many times? I would look out the window if it wasn't dark, it's night and I can't seem to fall asleep. Instead I stayed up writing all of my bottled up feelings in the diary that stays hidden in a draw in my room. I want it all to end... the pain.
Sighing I open my underwear draw and bury the diary at the bottom of it then cover it with my underwear. I reach over and turn off the lamp then rest back on the pillow, but sleep doesn't want to come. What can I say? I'm a day dreamer and a night thinker. I stare at the ceiling that I cannot see, weird right? Maybe I'm too kind, like I should be treating Valentino so badly. Way worse than I am.
This is one messed up world; teenagers wanting to kill themselves then when adults realise the importance of life, they never want to die. At least I think it goes like that. Death seems peaceful, like all the worries will go away and finally I'll feel peace. Deciding that sleep isn't going to come to me too soon I throw the blankets off of me and jump out of bed. I walk to the door and open it silently, it's like 1 in the morning so some of them may be asleep. I tip toe my way to the room that Nova decided to stay in for the night, she's most likely with Mike at the moment.
How can she forgive him so easily after he was most likely involved in a murder? I wasn't the only one close with Kane. Nova was too. Why is she pretending like everything is okay?
I open the door and poke my head in, it's dark which means they are both asleep. But I'm not feeling too generous at the moment. I flick on the light switch and stare at them like some creepy stalker, like peeping Tom lol! They stay completely still so I walk further into the room, I tower over Nova and click my fingers in her face; this girl can sleep through a god damn earthquake most likely. So I walk around the bed and tap Mike's face, his fist thrusts forward flying towards my face. I scream as it makes contact with under my chin, lesson number one; never ever wake up Mike. Maybe never wake up anybody again!
My body falls to the floor and I cup my chin just laying sprawled out on the ground, I hear people rushing in to see what happened. Gosh he can throw a good punch, I wince trying to blink away the tears; hey I'm pretty sure you would cry too! I hear many cusses and I can practically already feel the swelling that's to come. "What the f*ck happened?" Val growls.
"Sh*t I'm so sorry, Willow. God, don't do that next time!" Mike exclaims, the funny thing is I only tapped his cheek.... and I thought I was the one overreacting.
"What happened now?" I can hear Titus grumble, I try to open my mouth to speak but it hurts too much. I can taste the copper from blood in my mouth, maybe I bit my cheek or something. I clamp my mouth shut and pop my eyes open, everyone is now in the room looking at me. I hate being the centre of attention. Mike explains what happens and I wince, from his point of view it sounds terrible.
"Dude the phrase is to make the chicks fall for you not punching them to make them fall for you!" Aidan exclaims, I can see Mikes sheepish look on his face and he mutters a series of apologies.
"Well, I could make any chick fall at my feet without punching them," Landon cockily says. I bet you he pays them so they'll sleep with him! When Landon opens his trap all the attractiveness disappears into thin air.
"Shut up man! Are you okay Willow?" Chris is the kind one, obviously. I sit up still cupping my jaw and chin, Val looks at me in concern and I wince. Nova is giving Mike a little pep talk and I can't help but listen to it.
"Mike, you need to learn that not everyone is an intruder. Plus, why would anyone want to enter a house full of gang members? Open your eyes before you punch someone, okay?" She talks to him slowly like he's a child, he rolls his eyes at the way she's talking to him and looks at me in guilt.
"I'm really sorry Will," I wave him off, even though it hurts like a b*tch I'll forgive him this time. Gosh is all of their reactions when someone wakes them up? Because I will never share the same bed with them then, what if I accidentally wake them when they're sleeping then I wake up with a knuckle sandwich.
"Want me to get an ice pack?" Amalia pipes up, her arm is hooked through Jarrad's arm that is simply just dangling there. He looks super tired, I nod not being able to speak; it took a whole lot of strength to scream it felt like. Emberly rubs her eyes tiredly and Cadence isn't in the room, maybe she's a deep sleeper like Nova usually is. Valentino lifts me up and places me on the bed as Amalia walks in with a cloth wrapped around an ice pack. "Release your chin, it'll make it worse," Amalia softly says and hands me the icepack; I listen to her instructions and grimace. Slowly I bring the ice pack to my chin and press it against it.
Immediately I hiss out in pain when it makes contact with my warm bruised chin, Aidan walks out after saying goodnight and so does Jarrad. Amalia gives me a small smile then exits the room too, I watch in surprise when Emberly grabs Titus' hand and leads him out of the room. Are they sharing Titus' room or something? I'll have to check that out later....
"Well rest your chin up," Chris winks then walks out. I groan and lay back on the bed, Nova blinks down at me and sighs shaking her head.
"What were you even thinking to come in here?" She chuckles, I would smile but it hurts. I shrug, maybe it won't hurt too much if I speak.
"W.... well-" I take a deep breath, "-I couldn't sleep and..... you wouldn't wake up so Mike was the last resort." I'm barely moving my mouth as I speak and I'm sounding very weird, it's like my saliva is building up together. Disgusting, I know.
She sighs, "gets some rest will you?" I nod and stand up, I walk out of the room with Valentino trailing behind me. When I reach the room I'm sleeping in I lie on the bed, now I'm tired. I'm still holding the ice pack against my chin, it's going numb. I look at the door and when I see Val I groan, what is he doing?
"What are you doing?"
"Making sure you're okay..." I raise an eyebrow but don't question him any further. My eyes drop on their own accord as sleep slowly takes over my, peace.
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Gaping at my purple swollen chin I groan not taking my eyes off of it, it looks terrible. I've been standing here for 30 minutes staring at it! Let's not forget to mention how sore it is, he really can throw a good left hook. Fists bang on the bathroom door but I ignore them yet again, "are you okay in there?" Nova asks, I don't respond.
"Willow I swear I'll break down the door if you don't respond," Valentino warns, knowing that this threat will come true soon I open the door and then run to the towel rack and throw a blue one over my face. "Finally," I hear him mutter, "wait... what the?"
"What the hell are you doing Will?" Nova says like I'm some mad woman, which I probably look like one with the towel over my head. "Can you get the towel off your head?" She tries to tug the towel off but I keep a vice grip on it, I don't want anyone to see it. She gives it a final yank and it frees from my grip and lands on the floor, I squeal and cover my chin with my hands. She groans throwing her head back in frustration.
"Let's see," Val tried gently removing my hands but I glare at him warding him off, he sighs. "Please?" I hesitate before dropping my hands on my face, I see his eyes widen slightly but he tries to mask it; Nova doesn't. A mortified look flashes across her face and she screams, is it really that bad?
"It looks like my grandmas butt!" None of us question how she knows what her grandmas butt looks like. I spin around and look at the ground, I have such great friends don't I?
Val's hand clasps my wrist and spins me around, "you still look as beautiful as ever. Don't worry about her," he gives Nova a look and she shrugs.
"Hey, at least I'm telling her the truth. Brutal honesty is the best thing ever," he shakes his head. Aidan appears in the door way and gasps, he lets out a shriek and I try to not slap myself. Valentino was definitely lying. He points at my chin in horror, I roll my eyes and storm out of the bathroom charging towards the kitchen. Everyone's eyes land on me, I don't miss the amusement in Landon's, they look at me like they've seen a ghost. And this was all caused by one person; Mike.
I guess it's kind of my fault for trying to wake them up in the first place.
Karma will get him alright. I charge towards him and point a finger at him, "you! Look what you did to me! You even have Valentino lying to me about how I look, he says I look so beautiful when I look like a freaking baboon!" I exclaim, he sheepishly smiles.
"Wait a minute, I was telling the truth. You always look beautiful Willow, I wasn't lying," I spin around to face Valentino, I search his face to see if he's lying. When his face shows honesty I sigh. His compliments don't phase me, I hate him. Therefore I don't care what he thinks of me.
"Karma is a b*tch you ninja."
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Keely
I do not take credits for the quote at the beginning of the chapter that Willow used in her diary! It's by (a.y)