AVA
My head was spinning like a nonstop merry-go-round ride when I woke up. Every muscle in my body ached. I'd say my whole body needed additional rest, but the thing is, I could barely close my eyes, and it was already one in the afternoon.
I yawned in bed and tried to make myself useful. Fatigue shouldn't keep me down for an entire day. The thought of wasting hours I could be having fun ignites some strength in me, and I push myself up.
In the toilet, I spend what could be thirty minutes sitting under the rainfall shower.
The cold water felt good against my skin, but I had to block my ears with my hands as the sound of the rushing water splattering against the ground became extra and harsh, increasing my headache ten times terrible than it already is.
What I can recollect from last night is Leigh and Princeton Claire having a good evening while I pathetically watch from across the table, then me getting enough of it after realising no amount of alcohol could help my jealousy; I left the table and exited Paris Las Vegas to get some air. Still, Leigh didn't let that happen. He followed after me, trying to stop me from going with Lucas.
Bloody hell. How did Lucas get into the plot?
Did I follow him? Did we?
Oh my goodness! There is no way I possibly have given out my virginity to Lucas Nelson without my consent, right? Well, without my awareness because that's the last thing I will do when fully conscious.
Then some more memory landed in my head.
I called him my boyfriend.
The thought and fear of terrible mistakes and decisions I might have made last night got my stomach churning and nausea rising to my throat.
Instantly, I crawl from the shower to the toilet, swing open the lid, and throw out everything in my stomach that's nothing but pure liquid.
I will be so dehydrated today.
Exhaustedly leaning back against the wall of the spacious toilet with droopy eyelids and excessive breathing, irritating my headache, I began to recall more from last night.
Lucas parked by Rem's bungalow. Rem is a senior and the striker of the school soccer team. He's competitive and had the features of a champion; his hair was always gorgeous, which confuses the rest of the team how he maintained such a healthy style.
"What's happening here?" I asked Lucas. I was half alive by the passenger side of the vehicle. All I needed at the time was quiet and a night of good sleep.
Maybe I should've made him drive me back to eagle hills, I even thought.
"Come on." He smiles adorably and climbs out of the car.
He didn't bring me to a party, did he? I had thought.
I emerge from the car reluctantly, feeling like shit after the liquor I took into my system.
"I don't want to party, Lucas," I whine, barely standing on my feet.
It's the last thing I need at that moment after having witnessed the person I've maintained myself for wanting someone else. Someone so impeccable, I can never compete.
"Is not something too much, is just a backyard camping, and almost everyone is here." Lucas has said and pulled me into his arm for support.
"Camping?" I looked over at him with quizzical eyes.
He smiled so cutely and held me firmly.
"I made Rem, shop your tea and everything. Our tent is set up. If you want privacy, it's provided." He listed playful, leading us toward the entrance to the house.
"Hmm..." I mumbled, giving in.
"See, I am a good boyfriend." He teased.
"You are not my boyfriend." I wailed, slapping his chest. He laughed it off, anyway.
"You made it official; you told your brother." He stubbornly bantered.
I lazily rolled my eyes and shoved him away from me, opening the door myself.
"That was me being rebellious, Lucas." I clarified and stepped into the occupied building.
Lucas followed behind, asking: "Then when will I get my chance?"
"When you're a good boy enough." I chuckled and headed towards a mountain made of liquors.
"I am at your service then." He laughed from behind me, encircling my waist with his arms.
Back in my toilet, where the four walls were beginning to close in with me, I tried to remember anything else after steering to the liquor direction, but nothing came into my head. If anything, it was excruciating pain from stressing my brain.
After I couldn't throw up any more, I found a light pinafore dress and didn't care to wear anything underneath it if not for my underwear and white sports bra.
My throat felt dry as hell, the need for water was extreme, so I helped myself out of the room with my hair damped and my legs barefooted, but of course, I couldn't forget my mobile phone behind.
The house was big; you could sometimes wonder if there was anyone around until you got to the kitchen or the backyard area, and periodically, the dining room.
Although this time of the day is the accurate time for lunch, and we have guests, adding more numbers and voices in the house, it was easy to know the directions to aim.
Sometimes we use the table in the kitchen, but that's mainly in the mornings. I wonder why they are all in there right now, chatting and laughing like it's Christmas morning, and Santa had decided to stop by because everyone had been good throughout the year.
I almost chuckled at that, knowing if Santa could stop by, he'd be disappointed, since from what is obvious, everyone in this house had been naughty, functioning as Lilith had been screwing two different boys the whole year, mom and Christian had been blindly in love not caring for the sins of their children, not to mention Leigh, only God knows what the good boy had been doing for a year. And me? I don't even know myself anymore.
I walked into the kitchen, trying to suppress the irritation triggering me to scream a 'shut up' at everyone on that table.
Mom scrutiny follows me everywhere, with every move I make. I ignore her, though, and keep on preparing myself a cup of tea, more factual, a ceramic cream-jug full of tea, since I didn't suppose a tiny teacup is enough to solve down my wild thirstiness.
Oh, I bring along with me to the table a teapot ready for backup.
Settling in-between Jullian and Evie, I winced, shutting my eyes for some seconds to control my hyperventilation.
"She brought the whole English to the table." Lilith chortles from across me; she's seated next to mom and the fabulous Princeton Claire. My foot.
"Lilith!" Christian sternly warned her while I focused on the warmth of my tea.
"But she's drinking from a pitcher, dad." She attested by the evidence in my hand.
"Which is not your concern." I bite back weakly, avoiding mom and Christian's eyes, in case they can tell I'm hangover.
"That you're drinking like an animal from a jug?" Lilith challenged.
I huffed, mustering every willpower in me not to combust.
Drinking from a cream jug might not be the best manner, but she's not in the position to tell me what I can and what I can not do.
"You know that also means prison, right? You're suffocating me." I spoke disdainfully.
"It also means boobs. What about sucking it like a baby." She sneered, licking her lips theatrically. I want to fly over the table and smash her head against the marble floor.
"Will the two of you just stop it?" Christian slammed the table; his voice was edgy. All that got me wincing automatically, thanks to the drink I took last night. However, it wasn't enough to break the challenging glare between his daughter and me until Tori whispered. "You look like shit."
Oh, I know. I feel like shit.
"Thank you." I briefly look at her and bring the tea to my mouth.
"Lucas called this morning to make sure you're okay. What happened, share?" Evie asked in a hushed voice.
"Nothing, I can't even remember," I respond with blithe ignorance.
"What? That's worst." Evie and Tori panicked in unison.
"What is worst?" Mom interrogating eyes lingers among the three of us.
Evie, the easily nervous one, almost choked.
"Nothing, Mrs Boyce." Tori widely grinned; that was obviously abnormal.
"Everything is worst. They look like they're plotting a robbery," Lilith said, rousing Miss perfect, who had been minding her lunch to snicker and quickly apologise to the table while trying to stifle a laugh.
Oh please, Slag with the capital letter 'S.'
"I don't like her," Evie mumbled in-between chewing on lemony chicken thighs; Christian must have cooked.
"I know." I shoot her a wan smile.
I fucking despise her too, but of course, she happens to be Leigh type.
Tori jutted her head behind Evie and whispered to me. "What if you guys had done it, and you can't remember. You know Lucas had been after that for a year now?" She seems haunted by the subject. It suddenly worried me too.
"What?" I exclaimed, a little too loud than I intended, leaving me sinking with embarrassment around the table when every eye came to me. I exhaled a smile and brought the cream jug to my mouth, partially hiding my face behind the object. "Stop the rubbish. That didn't happen." I whispered to the girls, with my eyes dart to the remaining people in the room, mistrustfully watching me.
"How can you know? You don't remember anything." She indicated.
Well, the three of us made a pact to get ready for the senior year this summer, and by that, I mean finally having sex before school resumed. That way, we will have the experience, and we'd have all the ratings in Hills high.
However, the way everything is going, our hopes are beginning to descend. Not that I care, because there's only one person I dreamt of being my first; it is what had drawn me back from all the lovely boys I've met. I've been stalling for months, dragging the girls down with my childish imagination.
"I remember some parts." And that's true. I do remember some parts.
"What parts?" They both asked equally quietly.
"How great Princeton is," I informed derisively and gulp down the tea.
"What?" Tori blurted, amazed. And Evie repeated after her: "Yeah, what?" Her eyes are a little horrified.
I sat the cream jug with almost finished content and leaned towards the girls: "So apparently, Princeton Claire is graduating soon, and guess what?"
"I mean..." "I-" They all mumbled cluelessly.
I couldn't help rolling my eyes at them,
"Shhh, God! Just don't guess. Why wouldn't you for once take it as a rhetorical question?" I huffed at the girls who always spoil my pleasure of their puzzling moments before I get to disclose the news.
"But it is not a rhetorical question, Ma'am." Evie chastised what I knew.
God, give me patience.
"I say pretend." I irritatedly whispered.
"Spill it out then." Tori extent her hand to me, patting my knee to keep me on track.
My chary gaze inspects the busy table; no one is paying attention to our stealthy gossip except one person.
Leigh Boyce.
He has his intent stare anchored on me, but in those remarkably brilliant and perfectly conscious eyes, I found inexpressible emotions; I couldn't understand what he was thinking.
Evie broke into my almost trance when she deliberately cleared her throat.
It also got Leigh to disconnect the contact as everyone's attention briefly fell in Evie's direction. She fidgets uncomfortably at the little spotlight. I could've teased her if I wasn't simmering with bloody jealousy of that bloody blonde next to the flawless man designed for me alone yet prohibited to have.
Putting on a nonchalant expression, I pour more tea from my teapot and stir until the scrutiny around the table has subsided.
"I think she and Leigh is a thing." I angrily whispered, glaring at my stupidly charming stepbrother, who's acting all saint and attentive on his lunch. Liar. "You should see how they were all over each other yesterday. It was like we never existed." I said the last part with contempt towards him and his runway model girlfriend. It got my hands balling into firm fists. I bet my palms are bleeding from my fingers digging into them.
"As in, you and that man lollipop?" Tori asked since she had no idea of my stupid desire for the person I couldn't have.
"Yes, she and man lollipop," Evie repeated clearly.
Confused, I shift my curious eyes between them. "Man lollipop?"
"Julian." Evie chortled from the middle. "Tori came up with it last night." She whispered.
"And I named Mr firecracker, muscles and dimples." Tori crookedly informed me, slutty signalling at my stepbrother. It got me panicking.
Now he knows we are talking about him, great, just great.
I can picture the smug on his face.
I can't with Tori right now.
But... I think the name kind of suit him.
My eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking up at him. I wasn't surprised he was looking back. He smiled so charmingly, his dimple deepening even further; I had to bite my lip at the thought of the names Tori had given him. Until realisation hits me and I realise that I'm literally blushing.
Have some decency, girl!
"Last night, Ava came home drunk, puking all over people. She snuck with some boys to a party." Boom. She did it. Like a little child, she vomits out the words.
Lilith abruptly exposed me around the table.
Bloody slag.
"Snitch," Tori said brusquely.
"No bitch." I angrily clarified, darting a bloodthirsty glare at my snotty-nosed stepsister, who's giving me a self-satisfied wink from across the table.
"Is that true, Ava?" Mom stiffly asked; it's easy to tell she's about to lose her patience.
She keeps a close eye on me while I nervously smile at her between my irregular, heavy breathing.
"I mean, if you look at it from a good aspect, I was just having fun. Besides, it wasn't a party, was it?" Careful not to give away too much, I turn over to the person who can skillfully lie for me.
Tori.
"Mr and Mrs Boyce, there's no need to worry. It was just innocent camping. I promise." My best friend said.
"You are hangover, aren't you?" Mom searching eyes peered at me before something dawned on her, and her hand slapped over her mouth in sudden panic. "Oh my goodness. That's the reason behind the eye bag and waking up late."
Oh, that.
"Finally, you cracked the miserable. Try and be a good mother. You can do even better."
My remark threw her off guard. She seems disconcerted when she fumbles on her next question: "Wh-what does that supposed to mean?
"Nothing." I casually shrugged and took a sip of my tea.
"What is wrong with you?" She shook her head, her voice trembling. "Why would you? Why would you get drunk?"
So now I am not tolerated to have freedom? The last time I checked, we moved to America.
"I felt like it. So I say why not." I shrugged again, this time irritated.
"Leigh, is this how you keep a promise?" I heard Christain disappointedly ask his son.
The mention of Leigh name caught my attention. I glanced back at him.
His clenched jaw stresses the sharpness of his cheekbone, just as the intensity of his swallows had emphasised his bulged Adam apple. His eyes were averted to his father as he answered, rather calmly: "I am sorry, dad, things went out of control."
Seriously?
How does he do it? Permanently restraining himself from showing his genuine emotions and impulses in his father's presence.
I don't get it.
"So you stopped to party?" Christian practically yelled at him, causing me to flinch, not because of my excruciating headache, but because I knew it was wrong to let Leigh take responsibility for what was my illogical decision, as mom had said. "When things get worst, you stop to party?" Christian repeated, slamming the table, bringing quiet to the entire kitchen.
I observed Leigh; he certainly intended not to say anything to defend himself.
Why? How can he be so quiet? What does he have to prove?
He should know, acting all compliance and submissive is not going to save him nor change anything about this bloody world. I've tried it. See how I end up?
Being good? Screw that shit. It still wouldn't satisfy people. No matter what you give, they will deprive you of all you have and always expect more.
"Actually, I disappeared on him." I smiled at mom's husband, who had evidence of my uncontrolled emotions all over his face. "I went MIA all night. I couldn't stand their boring Princeton stories." I blatantly confessed.
"Do not speak to him that way." Mom warned me.
But how am I supposed to talk to him? Like a servant? Because I live under his roof?
The thing is, we always have another option, which is, get into the plane and fly back to where we came from.
"Oops, I forgot, dear mama, got feelings too. Sad, I don't give a shit." I responded scornfully.
"Ava, that's enough." It was my turn to get Christain's aggravating reaction.
Do I care? No! It is not like he can do anything to me.
"This isn't a joke, Ava." His wife frustratedly ran her fingers through her hair, next to the sassy bitch, she made my stepsister last summer. "You think it is wise to get drunk with strangers?" Mom bites on each word, demonstrating with her hands.
Scoffing to why she's over-exaggerating to some simple teenage conventional activities, I roll my eyes.
"Chill. No need to get all worked out, mom. That's the whole point, the fun. Try it sometime."
"How can you be so absurd? What if someone took your..." She croaked emotionally and trailed off, biting on her bottom lip as she blinked rapidly.
"My innocent?" I interjected, scrunching my face. "I mean, isn't it mine? I can do whatever I want with it."
"So now you think you can just do anything you want?" She scoffed mockingly. I want to scream in her face.
"Of course, I would." I push back the chair and bolt to my feet, not caring at the extreme effect the screaky sound had added to my headache. "You did. You brought us here, just like you wanted."
Mom left her chair, too, all flared up and about to explode.
"I am tired of your illogical decisions and petulant behaviour, Ava. This should be your last warning. I want your mobile phone and everything that involves the internet in your bedroom."
How dare her.
"You can't possibly do that." My voice betrayed me and came out so low as my numbed muscles.
"Oh, I can. I am the grown-up here. Wait until you're an adult, then you can make your own decisions, but now you're going to do as I said." She stretches out her hand, beckoning for my mobile phone.
This is ridiculous.
Fuming, I irrationally spat at her: "Believe me, when I am an adult, you won't even see me again." I struggle to swallow the bitterness in my throat and suppress the aching liquid forming in my eyes.
Not in front of Princeton Claire, not in the presence of Leigh Boyce. Do not cry. Do not get emotional. I kept telling myself mentally.
"Not surprised at all. Like father like son, huh?" Mom smirked just like Lilith would.
Everything about her right now was like a missile, so ferocious. It hit me ruthlessly. I backed away, having all my shields loosen.
"Susan." I heard different panic voices cautioning her, but my head couldn't process anything other than what she had thrown back at me.
How can a mother be this vengeful towards her child?
"I bloody hate you." I breathed unsteadily.
"Now, hand back everything and go to your bedroom." She demanded challengingly, not paying attention to Christian, who was advising her to calm down.
Weak and barely seeing through blurry eyes, I uttered: "Great." and dropped the phone to that table.
I start to walk, then stop and turn around when the thought of cowardly walking away without reciprocating tells how much I would regret the moment I get to my bedroom.
She can't compare me with my father. She has no right. I am not the one with poor choices for a husband. She fell in love with him.
I face her and chuckle, certainly pathetic: "I'd like to bring to your attention, though; you're not a saint. It should be mentioned that, if I've become a bitch, then don't forget the part where a daughter will have traits similar to her mother's." I smirked back painfully. "So you're wrong about the father-son statement. It is you I turned out to be, and whatever darkness you saw in me is a little of what lives in you. I bet that's why my father left you in the first place. You disgust him." I opprobriously emphasised in her face just before she interrupted that fleeting ecstatic feeling I had with a savage slap to my cheek.
The attack brought unbearable throbbing in my head, I finally lost balance, or maybe my body lost its strength and gave up on me. I fell back on my arse, fearful for a moment.
The rest of the activities were actually blurred. All I could see above me was my mom shocked face staring down at me.
Lilith kneeled next to me. I even saw her hands come around me, but I couldn't feel the embrace.
It was only Mom I could discern, and what I could see was a bloody monster.
"See? I told you; you're worst than him. One thing we know is he never hit me, not at all." I pushed up, shrugged off Lilith hold and ran away from the room, seeking a place I could let out all my emotions.
"Ava." Mom calls after me like she gave a shit about me.