Wren Ridley
Landon had been acting strange ever since the day he saw his father at the tournament a few days ago. I couldn't really blame him for that, but I would have been lying if I said that his actions weren't perplexing.
Sometimes I would catch him just staring at me with this strange look that was half affectionate and half panicked. He was acting almost shy around me at times, turning away from me when he caught me looking at him, seeming to be embarrassed or bashful with my eyes on him.
Of course, I tried to distract him with other things, namely my body. I was trying to get him to try new things in bed like holding my wrists down or putting his hands on my neck. He did those things, nervously, but still did them when I asked, mostly.
"I'm not doing that," Landon said, stopping in the middle of fucking me and looking at me like I had two heads.
"Why not?"
"Wren, I'm not... smacking you," he said. His face was so red, but I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or from what we were doing.
"I like it," I assured him, pulling my knees up and wrapping my legs around him to urge him to keep going.
He let out a huff and continued.
"Of course, you do," he muttered, his breath picking up.
I dug my nails into his back as each thrust brought me closer and closer to the edge. Landon reached between us and started stroking me, which meant that he was getting close and wanted to get me there too.
Landon brought his mouth down to my chest, kissing and sucking on my skin and over to my nipple. I was blissed out, and a few moments later, my eyes fluttered as I finished. Landon groaned as he pounded into me and finished himself a few moments later. He stayed on top of me, looking down at me with a soft expression before bringing his hand to my cheek and kissing me tenderly on the lips.
Landon rolled over to lie beside me.
"It's gonna suck when our roommates come back," he said after a few moments.
It was only a matter of days until everyone would be coming back to school, and our days of privacy were over.
"Why, because we won't be able to have sex every day?" I asked, teasing him in hopes of making him blush like he always did.
Landon rolled his eyes and lightly kicked my ankle.
"No, because it will be hard for us to ever be alone," he said.
"We'll find time," I assured him, turning onto my side and resting my hand on his bare chest.
I tapped patterns onto his chest, just enjoying being close to him, enjoying his touch.
"I talked to Livi," Landon muttered after a moment, his arm thrown over his face. "I told her what happened at the competition and how we have to be even more careful now when we talk."
"Yeah? What did she say?"
"She was upset," Landon said. "I had to convince her not to confront him. It'll only make it worse."
I hummed in agreement. My heart ached for him. Landon cared for his sister so much, and I knew all of this was weighing heavily on him. Just the thought of not being able to get in contact with her was stressing him out and there was pretty much nothing I could do to make any of this better for him.
He didn't want to talk much about his father, even though he was clearly in distress when he saw him. He hadn't told me much of what was said, only that his father didn't want him having any contact with Olivia. I could imagine the things he said were eating at Landon, and that he struggled in his mind to cast the words away. He admitted he sometimes believed the horrible things his father would say to him, that it was hard to see them as anything other than the truth.
"I've been thinking..." Landon trailed, removing his arm from his face and staring up at the ceiling.
"Thinking about what?" I asked. I held off from teasing him because he seemed so serious.
"I'm not sure I want to play hockey anymore," he admitted. The way he said it made me think that he thought it was a crazy thought, that I would try to convince him of how much he loved the sport and encourage him to keep with it. If that was the reaction he wanted, it wasn't the one he was going to get.
"Maybe you shouldn't," I said. Landon turned to look at me.
"It's not like I can just quit, Wren," he responded, looking a little frustrated. "I have a scholarship. I can't afford not to play if I want to stay in school. Which I do."
"There are other ways you can get scholarships and pay for school," I told him. "How do you think everyone else does it?"
"Rich parents?"
"Not everyone here, or even at Brown, has rich parents. Some people are paying their own way."
"It seems impossible," he mumbled, turning to rest his head on my shoulder.
"It's not," I assured him. "I'll help you. We can figure it out."
Within the next few days, both of our roommates were back, meaning I had to move back into my dorm. Landon's roommate, Kyle, walked in while the two of us were in bed, luckily clothed, and when I checked my phone I had a text from James telling me he was back in the room.
It was going to be strange sleeping on my own now that I had spent most nights of the last month sleeping beside Landon, but it was something I was going to have to get used to. It was probably going to be good for me anyway. I was getting too used to being with him all the time, too clingy. I wasn't used to being so attached, so some separation would be good for me.
That was what I thought at least until I got back to the room with James and was already so fed up with him I was ready to lock him out of the room.
"What do you mean you don't want to go out, watch me get drunk, and drive me home later?" James whined after I told him I wasn't going to go out with him to the bar tonight.
"I mean exactly that," I told him. "Go ask somebody else. I'm sure Anthony is around by now."
James narrowed his eyes at me and threw one of his pillows across the room, attempting to hit me. He missed.
"Stop being a little asshole and invite your little boyfriend to go to the bar with us," James retorted.
I was about to decline again, but I stopped myself. We hadn't really done anything for Landon's birthday, and he was undoubtedly down in the dumps about seeing his father. And now he was contemplating detailing his entire life by quitting hockey. Maybe going out would be a good thing for him. He could feel celebrated and take his mind off of everything else.
"You know what, that's a great idea," I told James. "I'll take Landon out tonight."
"And me," he added. "You're taking me too."
"Oh, I never said you could come with us."
"Come on, Wren," James whined. "Don't make me beg. I will if I have to, but I'd prefer not."
"You don't need to me third wheeling," I replied.
James shrugged. "I don't mind. I'm going to get ready. Don't leave without me."
He made a motion with his fingers like he was keeping his eyes on me before leaving the room to take a shower.
I took this time to send Landon a text.
To: Landon
Would you like to go out tonight?
From: Landon
sure where?
To: Landon
I figured we could go to the bar to celebrate your birthday since we never had the chance. Fair warning: James wants to come.
From: Landon
that's fine i'm sure jess will too
And so later on in the night, I picked up Landon from his dorm, forcing James into the back seat, and we met up with Jess and Stella at the bar.
"You're really going to make me sit in the back seat?" James asked, opening the car door as Landon was making his way out of the building.
"Obviously," I replied with an eye roll, watching Landon as he walked toward the car.
He had his hair swept back like it was still wet from a shower and easy to push into place. He wore an all black attire, black jeans and a tight black tank top with a black button up left open over it. Landon looked so good that I hated the fact James would be in the car with us.
James whistled as Landon got closer and I turned to fix a glare on him.
"What? Your boyfriend is sexy," James said with a cunning grin.
"Shouldn't you only have eyes for Anthony?" I snapped.
"I do," James assured me. "That doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good view."
"That's quite literally what it means."
James rolled his eyes. "Lighten up. The only one I'm going to be looking at tonight is Anthony."
"Is that why you wanted to go out so bad tonight?" I asked him. "Because you're stalking Anthony again?"
"No. I told him where I'll be. I'm sure he'll show."
"For your sake, I hope he does," I said. "Otherwise this will be incredibly embarrassing for you."
Landon got into the passenger's seat after that, leaning over to kiss me before turning back to look at James.
"Do whatever it is you two do in the car," James said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "Pretend I'm not even here. I'd be happy just watching."
Landon turned around with a sour look on his face.
"Ignore him, darling, he's sexually frustrated at the moment," I said, putting the car in drive.
"Hey, I never-" James started, leaning forward to stick his face in the space between Landon and me.
"We're pretending you're not here, so be quiet," I snapped, cutting him off. "And sit back and put your seatbelt on."
"Fine, Dad," James replied with a scoff, obliging my request.
Neither Landon or I decided to comment on James's choice of words, and he was luckily quiet for the rest of the ride to the bar. I was speculating that he was nervous about whether or not Anthony would show, but I didn't say anything about it, because if I did, he wouldn't be quiet anymore.
The area around the bar was crowded when we arrived and I had to circle around a few times to find parking, but eventually I parked the car and the three of us made our way inside.
James instantly went up to the bar with his fake I.D. in hand and ordered himself a drink while Landon and I tried to find a table.
"Why's it so packed?" Landon asked, shouting over the music.
I shrugged, scanning the area to see if I could find Jess or Stella.
It wasn't like this was the most popular bar in the city, but it was the most popular gay bar. With a lot of the college kids coming back from winter break, it made sense that the bars would be packed.
My eyes eventually caught sight of Stella and Jess standing near a high top on the other side of the room. I grabbed onto Landon's hand and led him over to the girls.
Jess was the first one to see us and her eyes immediately lit up at the sight of Landon. She threw herself into his arms and let out a squeal of excitement. He was a little stunned at first, looking unsure of what to do, but after a few moments he smiled and wrapped his arms around her.
"I bet your winter break was exciting," Stella commented with a sly smile, bumping her shoulder with mine.
"It was... fine," I said, suddenly feeling strange about divulging any information about what Landon and I did all break. It wasn't that I was embarrassed that I spent all my time with him and felt myself getting clingy and codependent, it was that letting other people know that made me feel a little pathetic.
"I bet yours was better than mine," she replied. "I couldn't wait for it to end so I could get out of there."
She couldn't wait for break to end while I was silently begging for time to slow so that it wouldn't end too soon. That was how I knew I was getting too clingy. I liked school. School, namely learning, was always such a big part of my identity. And I wanted to push it off just to spend some extra time with Landon, which wouldn't seem abnormal to other people, but it was abnormal for me.
A few moments later, James came over with a round of shots for everyone. Landon looked a little skeptical about drinking, and looked to me as if asking for permission.
"It's your night," I said in his ear, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer to me. "Have fun. I'll take care of you if you get drunk."
Landon smiled at me and took the shot. When I declined mine, James was more than happy to take it for me.
James kept bringing rounds of shots over, and eventually brought me a glass of water. Jess was talking Landon's ear off the whole time, and even though he had his arm lazily wrapped around my shoulder, leaning into me as she spoke, I still felt like he was too far away.
I put my hand on Landon's chest and brought my mouth to his ear.
"Let's go dance," I said, letting my lips brush against his skin.
Landon finally brought his attention away from Jess and looked at me. His eyes were slightly glossy, so I could tell the alcohol was getting to him and he was slowly slipping away.
"Yeah," he said, putting his glass of whatever James had brought over down on the table in front of us. "Yeah, okay."
Landon led me out onto the dance floor, looking back at me every so often as if to check that I was still following him even though he had my hand in his. Some remix of a pop song was playing and there were so many people around us that the temperature in this place felt like it went up at least twenty degrees.
I tugged on Landon's hand, bringing him to a stop, and brought my hand onto his hip to pull him closer before starting to move and sway to the music. Landon was a little more shy about dancing than I was, but I had seen firsthand how good he was when he had a few drinks in him.
"Come on, Landon, dance for me," I said with a grin.
Landon looked me up and down with an intense stare before spinning me around and pulling me up against him. He gripped my hips, holding me against his front. We stood still there for a moment before Landon started moving us together, grinding against me. I moved along with him, following his lead. I turned my head and brought my hand around to pull his face to mine, bringing our lips together. This kiss was all tongue and panting into each other's mouths. It was nothing like the last kiss we shared in public. This one was rough and sexual.
After that song, Landon got another drink from James, and I could tell he wasn't just a little tipsy. Landon was drunk. His movements were more fluid and less intentional. He swayed when he walked toward me and then he started moving to the music and I was transported back to the first time I saw him dancing.
He moved his hips and mouthed the words. His hands moved down his body in a slow, sensual motion. It was like he knew exactly what would get me going, what would make me want to take him home right away and forget about the others for the night.
I realized I was just standing there, watching Landon's movements, and walked over to him. His hands reached out for me and the two of us danced together again.
At some point I had seen James dancing with Anthony, the latter looking ecstatic to be here.
Later on, when Landon was leaning on me and having me support all of his weight, James found us.
"I have to take him home," I told James, who was fairing a little better than Landon, but not much.
"I came here to tell you, I'm going back to Anthony's!" James slurred with a grin. "Isn't that great?"
"Where is he?"
Just then, Anthony walked up behind James, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll take him," Anthony assured me. "I haven't been drinking."
I took Landon out to the car after that. He had his hands all over me, rubbing my chest, pinching my ass. I could only chuckle as he murmured words against my neck.
"We're going back to my place and you're going to sleep," I told him as I placed him down in the passenger's seat.
"Whyyy?" Landon whined.
I pushed his shoulder back gently so that he was leaning back in the seat, and then I pulled the seatbelt over his body and secured it into place.
"Because you need rest," I said before closing the door and going over to the driver's side.
It was a bit of a process getting him up to my dorm room when I had to support all of his weight. The RA at the entrance told me to get him upstairs before he puked so she wouldn't have to report anything, so I hauled him up the stairs.
Once we were in my room I got him ready for bed, taking his jeans off along with the over shirt he had on. Then I helped him into bed and got myself ready.
Landon appeared to already be asleep by the time I climbed into bed with him, but as I got comfortable, I heard him saying something.
"...love you," he muttered.
I stopped breathing for a moment, my mind reeling about whether or not I heard him correctly. I decided I hadn't heard him correctly. He was just speaking nonsense.
But then he said it again, more clearly this time.
"I love you, Wren."
And my stomach dropped.
**
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