Neti
The morning of the wedding was nothing short of chaos, courtesy of Pranav's enthusiastic start to the day.
"TODAY IS THE DAY!"
His voice pierced the calm of the mansion as he sprinted down the hallway in his bright yellow Pikachu onesie, his feet slapping against the marble floors.
"NETI IS OFFICIALLY BHABHI TODAY!"
I groggily opened my eyes, hearing his voice from the other side of the house.
I wasn't the only one-Eliza's shout of "Pranav, shut up!" followed closely behind.
I buried my face in my hands, feeling a headache start to form.
Adolph, still half-asleep, muttered something unintelligible as he buried his face in the pillow, clearly not wanting to deal with the madness.
But Pranav didn't care. He kept running, shouting at the top of his lungs as he passed by my room.
"BHAABHIIIIIIII!"
I sighed and got out of bed. What else could I do?
Just then, the sound of footsteps grew louder, and suddenly-
CRASH!
I froze.
Then I heard Pranav's voice, weak and slightly panicked.
"I'm okay!"
Thud!
More sounds of him stumbling and tripping.
Eliza's frustrated shout followed. "PRANAV, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!"
"I'M FINE!" he squealed, his voice faint but still loud.
I couldn't help it-I grinned a little.
Adolph, who had been lying beside me the whole time, let out a groggy sigh. "What the hell is going on...?"
I shrugged, rubbing my face.
Just then, Pranav burst into the room, still in his Pikachu onesie, looking like a wild tornado of energy.
He slammed into the doorway and nearly tripped again.
"Bha-!"
I threw a pillow at him, not bothering to aim-he deserved it.
He dodged it, his eyes widening in mock offense.
"HEY! This is a day of celebration!" he shouted, hands on his hips, trying to look serious but failing miserably.
"Yeah, a day to kill you." I muttered.
Pranav looked at me, grinning like a maniac.
"Come on, Neti! It's a day of joy, not murder!"
I shot him a look, then turned to Adolph.
He was still lying in bed, his eyes half-open. "Let me sleep." His voice was thick with exhaustion.
"No, we have a Pranav problem," I said, glancing at him.
Adolph made a sound of discomfort, rolling over, but still holding onto my wrist as if to prevent me from moving too far.
I glanced back at Pranav, who was already making another dramatic move toward the door, his feet slipping on the floor as he tried to keep running.
In his excitement, he slipped, flailing like a ragdoll, and crashed into the wall.
Thud!
He lay there, momentarily winded but quickly gathering himself as he pulled himself back up, still grinning wildly.
"I'm good!" he shouted, brushing himself off.
I couldn't help but laugh.
Adolph let out a deep groan, burying his head back in the pillow.
Pranav turned and darted out of the room again, still yelling.
"BHAABHIIII!"
I couldn't believe it. The whole mansion was doomed today.
Eliza stormed into the room, grumbling under her breath, her hair slightly out of place as if she had been dealing with absolute chaos since dawn.
"I swear, if Pranav falls one more time, I'm going to let him stay on the floor," she muttered, rubbing her temples.
I sighed, running a hand over my face. "How many times has he fallen?"
Eliza snorted, crossing her arms. "I stopped counting after the fourth time. The last one was a masterpiece, though-he tripped over a rug, spun like a drunk ballerina, and face-planted into a chair."
Adolph, still lying in bed, barely cracked an eye open. "Is he dead?"
"Unfortunately, no," Eliza deadpanned.
As if on cue, Pranav came barreling past the doorway again, his Pikachu onesie slightly disheveled, hair a wild mess, and a determined (yet slightly pained) look on his face.
"TODAY IS THE DAY-"
And then-
SLIP. THUD. CRASH.
There was a long pause.
Then Pranav groaned from somewhere outside the room.
"Okay... that one hurt."
Eliza closed her eyes as if praying for patience. "I am not helping him up this time."
Eliza sighed dramatically and pinched the bridge of her nose. "If he breaks something before the wedding, I am not responsible."
From the hallway, Pranav's voice croaked weakly, "Bhabhi... help me..."
I sat up in bed, stifling a laugh. Adolph, still lying next to me, mumbled into the pillow, "If he can still scream, he's fine."
Eliza peeked out the door, arms crossed. "You absolute buffoon. What did you trip on this time?"
Pranav groaned, rolling onto his back. "I don't know! My own feet? The air? Destiny?" He dramatically flung an arm over his forehead. "Maybe fate is trying to tell me something."
Adolph finally sat up, rubbing his face. "Yeah, it's telling you to sit down before you die."
Eliza, however, had no patience left. She grabbed a jug of water from the nearest table, walked up to Pranav's collapsed form, and-
SPLASH!
Pranav gasped, jolting up like a zombie revived from the dead. "WHAT THE- ELIZA!"
She tossed the empty jug aside. "Good, you're awake. Now, walk like a normal human being or I swear I will personally tie you to a chair until the wedding."
Pranav wiped his drenched face, shivering. "You have no heart."
Eliza smirked. "And you have no balance."
Adolph, still half-asleep, waved a lazy hand. "At least Pikachu's finally awake."
I lost it and started laughing as Pranav dramatically crawled toward me, eyes pleading. "Bhabhi... help... she's evil."
I just shook my head. "You did this to yourself, Pranav."
Adolph stretched and stood up, grinning. "Come on, Pikachu, let's get you dry before the guests think we drowned the best man."
Pranav groaned, looking at his soaked onesie. "Ugh. Fine. But if I trip again, I'm suing this house."
Eliza rolled her eyes. "Try suing gravity first."
Pranav barely made it to his feet before-
THUD.
Flat. On. His. Face.
Again.
Eliza closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, like she was praying for patience. Adolph just stared at him, hands on his hips. "You know, at this point, I'm starting to think the ground just likes you."
Pranav groaned into the floor. "I swear, it's cursed. This house is cursed. Why does this keep happening to me?!"
I giggled, covering my mouth. "Maybe the universe is telling you to slow down?"
Pranav dramatically rolled onto his back, looking betrayed. "Bhabhi, I thought you were on my side."
Adolph reached down, grabbing Pranav's arm to haul him up. "Come on, before Eliza actually strangles you."
But the moment Pranav stood again-
WHOOSH. THUD.
Straight back down.
Eliza just turned around and walked away. "I am done with this clownery."
Adolph sighed. "Forget the wedding. At this rate, we'll be planning a funeral."
Pranav, lying like a sacrificed hero, pointed a weak finger at the ceiling. "Tell my story... tell them I tried..."
I laughed so hard I almost fell too.
Eliza, absolutely done with Pranav's nonsense, stomped back into the room, dragging a roll of rope behind her.
Pranav blinked at her from the floor. "Uh... Eliza? What's with the-"
Before he could finish, she pounced.
Five minutes later...
Pranav was tied to a chair, looking like a hostage in his own home, his Pikachu night suit slightly ruffled from the struggle.
"THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY HUMAN RIGHTS!" he shrieked, squirming.
Eliza dusted off her hands. "This is a necessary measure for public safety."
Adolph leaned against the wall, sipping his morning coffee. "I gotta say, this is the most peaceful the house has been all morning."
Pranav glared at him. "I hope your suit catches on fire today."
Adolph smirked. "Aww, you care about me enough to curse me? How sweet."
I was crying from laughter. Pranav was literally stuck in a chair on his best friend's wedding day, flailing like an angry fish out of water.
"Bhabhi, HELP ME!" he pleaded dramatically.
I wiped my tears. "Sorry, Pranav, but this is for everyone's sanity."
Pranav gasped. "You have joined the enemy! I AM BETRAYED!"
Eliza just rolled her eyes. "Someone bring a gag before he starts another speech."
The mansion was buzzing with preparations for the wedding. Maids rushed from one room to another, flower arrangements were being placed, the chandeliers were being polished until they gleamed like pure gold, and in the middle of all this-
Pranav was tied to a chair.
Eliza, standing guard like a prison warden, sipped her tea casually while keeping a sharp eye on him.
Pranav struggled against the ropes. "You do realize I'm not a wild animal, right? This is inhumane."
Eliza took a slow sip. "You are a wild animal. A hyperactive, overly dramatic menace to society."
Pranav huffed. "Menace? MENACE?! I am an innocent soul, Eliza! A delicate flower-"
A maid passed by carrying a tower of flower vases. "Careful, sir, delicate flowers don't usually scream like banshees."
Pranav gasped in offense. "EXCUSE ME?!"
Another servant, adjusting the golden silk curtains, snorted. "Let's be honest, Eliza should've tied him up years ago."
The whole room agreed.
Pranav gasped even louder. "Et tu, maids?!"
Eliza smirked. "Now shut up and behave, or I'll tie you to the banister and make you watch the wedding from there."
Pranav immediately froze. He looked at me desperately. "Bhabhi, say something!"
I shrugged. "You are safer this way, honestly."
His mouth dropped open in shock. "YOU'RE LAUGHING?! MY SUFFERING AMUSES YOU?!"
Eliza sighed and signaled a maid. "Bring me the duct tape."
Pranav: "WAIT, NO-"
The maid actually brought the duct tape.
Pranav's eyes widened in sheer horror. "WAIT, WAIT, I WAS KIDDING!"
Eliza, completely unbothered, tore a piece of tape with a dramatic RIPPPP and smirked. "Were you? Because I'd love some peace and quiet."
Pranav squirmed, but the ropes held tight. "Bhabhi, ADOLPH, ANYONE HELP-"
Adolph, who had just walked in, took one look at the situation-Pranav tied to a chair, Eliza holding duct tape like a mafia interrogator-and just nodded. "Carry on."
Pranav: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN CARRY ON?!"
Eliza slapped the tape over his mouth.
Silence.
Everyone sighed in relief.
Pranav: Muffled screaming noises
Eliza dusted her hands off, sipping her tea like she had just restored world peace. "Much better."
Neti leaned in and patted Pranav's shoulder. "This is why you don't scream the whole house awake."
Pranav: Muffled sobbing noises
Adolph, completely ignoring his suffering, turned to Eliza. "Keep him like this till the wedding starts."
Pranav: Muffled outraged noises
Eliza, smirking: "With pleasure."
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Author
Pranav, the menace that he was, licked the inside of the tape, making a disgusting squelching noise as he wiggled his lips.
Eliza, sipping her tea peacefully, froze.
Neti's smile vanished.
Adolph stared in absolute horror.
And then-
The tape peeled off with a loud POP!
Pranav gasped for air like he just survived drowning. "YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME! I AM A FREE SPIRIT!"
Eliza: "Oh my god, he's worse than ever."
Neti: "That was... the most disgusting thing I've ever seen."
Pranav, now hyped up, started wiggling his arms, loosening the ropes. "I'm about to be FREE-"
THUD.
He fell face-first onto the floor, still partially tied to the chair.
Adolph: "...I have no words."
Eliza: "I do. This is why I wanted to tape his whole face."
Pranav, still on the floor, glaring up at them: "You guys are horrible friends."
Neti: "We're your only friends."
Pranav: Silent realization.
Neti, grinning like a devil, pulled out her phone and video called Aliya.
Aliya picked up, looking half-asleep and grumpy as usual. "What do you wa-"
And then she saw Pranav.
Tied to a chair.
Face smooshed against the floor.
Hair a disaster.
Eliza standing over him like an angry babysitter.
There was silence.
Then-
Aliya BURST OUT LAUGHING.
"OH MY GOD-LOOK AT HIM-HE LOOKS LIKE A WORM-"
Pranav, offended: "I am a majestic creature, you heartless woman!"
Aliya, still wheezing: "YOU LOOK LIKE A BABY WHO TRIED TO ESCAPE THE CRIB AND FAILED-"
Neti: "I KNOW RIGHT? Wait-hold on, let me zoom in-"
She zoomed in on his pathetic expression.
Aliya, tears in her eyes: "This is the best thing I've seen all year-"
Pranav: huffing "You guys are bullying me on my brother's wedding day. That's illegal."
Adolph, taking a sip of his coffee: "Unfortunately, it's not."
Aliya, between laughs: "I- I gotta take a screenshot-"
Pranav: "NO-"
Click.
Aliya saved it.
Pranav died internally.
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Adolph
I was tired.
Physically, emotionally, and most of all-mentally.
Pranav had been running around since dawn, screaming about finally calling Neti bhabhi like some kid on a sugar rush. And now, he was tied to a chair, face against the floor, still talking.
"Adolph, my dear brother, help me. These cruel women have imprisoned me-"
I took a slow sip of my coffee.
"Adolph, listen, I'm suffering. This is abuse. I have rights-"
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You don't have rights in this house."
Neti was still video-calling Aliya, who was laughing like a madwoman. Eliza stood beside Pranav, completely unfazed.
"I swear, I will haunt all of you when I die-" Pranav declared.
"You're not dead yet," Eliza said, pushing his chair upright.
"I WILL BE IF I KEEP SITTING LIKE THIS-"
I exhaled, setting my cup down. "Untie him."
Neti and Eliza stared at me.
Pranav perked up. "Finally! Justice-"
"And then duct-tape his mouth shut."
Pranav: betrayed.
Neti: smiling devilishly.
Eliza:already reaching for the tape.
Pranav's whining echoed down the hallway like a lost, abandoned puppy.
"Adolph, I swear-DON'T DO IT-STAY AWAY-AACK!"
I smirked, dragging him into a room and slamming the door shut.
"I swear, I will report you for harassment!" he yelped as I cracked my knuckles.
"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "You think I won't do it? You've been running around all morning. Maybe you need a reminder that Neti is mine-should I kiss you instead?"
"STAY AWAY, YOU DEVIL!" he shrieked, crawling backward onto the bed like a horror movie victim.
I leaned closer, just to see him squirm.
"I'll do it, Pranav," I whispered darkly. "One kiss. Just one. Should I start with the cheek? Or maybe-"
"NETI! ALIYA! ELIZA! ANYBODY! HELP ME!"
I burst out laughing and shoved him back onto the bed before slamming the door shut and locking him inside.
"ADOLPH! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE-YOU MONSTER! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE IMPRISONED!"
I shook my head, smirking as I walked away.
Behind me, Pranav's puppy-like whimpers continued.
"This is betrayal! Treason! I will have my revenge-"
I turned a corner. Peace.
For now.
The banging on the door lasted for a full five minutes before it suddenly stopped.
Silence.
Then-
STRUM.
I froze.
STRUM. STRUM. STRUUUUUM.
What the-
"ð¶ I was once a free man... but now I am betrayed... ð¶"
STRUM.
"ð¶ My best friend locked me up... all my happiness decayed... ð¶"
STRUUUUM.
I rubbed my temples. There was a guitar in that room? Who put a guitar in there?!
"ð¶ Adolph, oh Adolph, you heartless beast... ð¶"
Eliza peeked out of the kitchen with a deadpan expression. "Should we throw him out of the window?"
"ð¶ You call yourself a mafia... but you should be in jail, at least... ð¶"
I exhaled sharply and turned back toward the door.
"Pranav, shut up."
"ð¶ My own best friend, my own BROTHER-betrayed me like no other- ð¶"
STRUUUUUUUM.
Aliya arrived, phone in hand, recording everything. "This is golden."
"ð¶ Even Neti abandoned me... now I have nobodyyyyy- ð¶"
STRUM. STRUM. STRUM.
I clenched my jaw. That's it.
I unlocked the door and threw it open.
Pranav stared at me, dramatically hunched over the guitar like a depressed 18th-century poet.
Silence.
"...Want me to sing the second verse?" he asked innocently.
I slammed the door shut again.
"ð¶ YOU THINK YOU CAN SILENCE ME, BUT MY SONG LIVES ONNN- ð¶"
I officially regretted not throwing him out the window.
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Author
Aliya was gone. Completely. She was on the floor, wheezing, clutching her stomach like she had just done a 1000 sit-ups.
Neti wasn't far behind, barely able to hold her phone straight as she recorded Pranav's suffering.
Meanwhile-
"ð¶ I ONCE HAD A LIFE, I ONCE HAD A DREAM- ð¶"
I clenched my fists.
"ð¶ BUT NOW I AM TRAPPED-CAN'T EVEN SCREAM- ð¶"
Aliya slapped the floor. Slapped. The. Floor.
"I- I CAN'T-" she gasped, tears in her eyes.
Neti was crying too. But from laughter.
"ð¶ BETRAYED BY MY BROTHER, IGNORED BY MY FRIENDS- ð¶"
STRUUUUUUUM.
"ð¶ WILL THIS AGONYYYYY EVER ENDDD- ð¶"
I turned to Eliza.
"How high is this mansion?"
"Not high enough." She wiped her hands on a towel.
Aliya rolled on the floor.
"HE-HE SOUNDS LIKE A DRUNKEN STREET MUSICIAN-"
Pranav suddenly stopped.
Silence.
Then-
He let out a deep sigh.
And whispered, "Maybe I should write poetry."
Neti literally collapsed onto Aliya, both of them now crying in each other's arms.
The entire mansion staff was done. Completely, utterly done.
Maids were dragging their feet, their once-pristine uniforms slightly wrinkled from stress. The butler looked like he had aged 10 years overnight. Even the chefs, who had been preparing the grand wedding feast, were gripping their utensils like weapons.
And Pranav?
"ð¶ OH, HOW THE WALLS CLOSE IN ON ME- ð¶"
A maid scrubbed the floor aggressively.
"ð¶ A PRISONER OF LOVE, A VICTIM OF CRUELTY- ð¶"
One of the guards rubbed his temples. "Boss, just let him out before we all lose our minds."
Eliza, who had been calmly folding napkins, suddenly flipped a chair.
"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."
"ð¶ MY HEART WEEPS, MY SOUL CRIES- ð¶"
A footman straight-up walked out of the mansion.
The head chef muttered, "This is worse than war."
And still-
"ð¶ LOVE HAS CHAINED ME, OH WHY, OH WHY- ð¶"
A maid turned to Eliza with dead eyes. "Do we... end him?"
Eliza took a deep breath.
And marched straight to Adolph.
"Boss."
"What?"
"Do something. Or I swear, there won't be a wedding because we'll all be six feet under from the sheer secondhand embarrassment."
Aliya stormed inside the room, slamming the door so hard the chandelier in the hallway shook.
The staff outside held their breath.
For a moment-silence.
Then muffled voices.
Then-a scream.
Pranav's scream.
Five minutes later...
Aliya calmly walked out. Not a hair out of place. She even smoothed her dress before locking the door behind her.
Everyone stared.
Eliza: "...Did you kill him?"
Aliya smirked. "No. But he's behaving now."
The maids, guards, and staff exchanged horrified glances.
Eliza knocked on the door cautiously. "Pranav...?"
A weak, trembling voice replied-
"Yes, ma'am."
Silence.
Eliza slowly turned to Aliya. "...What did you tell him?"
Aliya just grinned.
Pranav never misbehaved again.
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Pranav
As soon as Aliya locked the door behind her, I knew-I was done for.
She turned to me, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. "You think you're funny, huh?"
I gulped. Oh no.
She took slow, threatening steps forward.
"You think you can act like a feral child and get away with it?"
I backed up, hands raised in surrender. "Aliya, let's talk about this like mature adul-"
She pulled out her phone.
And showed me.
Pictures.
Videos.
From years ago.
Of me.
Dressed as a princess.
Singing Frozen's "Let It Go" on top of a table.
Wearing a sparkly tiara and fairy wings.
I choked on air. "W-WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!"
She smirked. "I have my sources."
"DELETE THEM."
"Make me."
I froze.
She leaned closer. "Now, you have two options."
"One, you behave like a decent human being until the wedding is over."
"Or two..." She scrolled down-oh my God, there were more- so many more- when did I even wear a tutu?!
I dropped to my knees. "I YIELD. I WILL BEHAVE. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, DON'T SHOW THESE TO ADOLPH."
Aliya smiled sweetly. "Good boy."
Then she walked out.
And that's how I, Pranav Rathore, was defeated.
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