Chapter 10: CH 10

Declaration of War

When I was still in the second year of junior high school, Asatani-san moved into the next class.

She used to live in Kanagawa. She moved here due to her parents’ work.

Asatani-san was the center of attention, to the extent that such rumors reached the class next door.

Just after introducing herself, the classroom erupted in cheers. Not only the other classes, but everyone from the first and third years also came to see Asatani-san. She was so outstandingly good-looking that such a fictional event could really happen.

Many clubs fought for her, but Asatani-san joined the astronomy club. I later heard that she had no choice but to choose a club activity that required less of her time because she had been a member of a theatrical company’s training school at that time.

I also had other things to do after school, so I chose to join the reading club, which only had one activity day a week.

The astronomy club’s room was the library’s preparation room, and the reading club’s room was the library. The presidents of the clubs, who were one generation above us, became friends and began to interact with each other throughout the club activities.

Most of the members from the two clubs were girls, so even though Asatani-san had a relationship with the girls in the reading club and talked to them, she never exchanged a word with me.

The first time I talked to her was at a meteor shower observation party proposed by the astronomy club.

I was brought in as a baggage handler, and the president of the astronomy club asked me to carry the telescope to the top of the hill which was the observing site.

There was no problem with me carrying the telescope by myself, but there was an astronomy club member who helped me probably because I looked like I was struggling.

That was Asatani-san. She was still wearing the school uniform as the observation party was taking place in the school. As a matter of course, she complained a bit to the other club members who came in casual clothes.

Asatani-san was the first one to take an interest in me, because I, like her, was wearing a uniform to the assembly.

“I thought everyone would be in uniform. I tend to be mostly absent for club activities, so I would appreciate being informed about something like this…”

It was like we had been friends for a long time, such was the distance between us from the beginning.

Her hair, which was still shoulder length, was tied in short pigtails on either side of her head, and the image of her talking to me for the first time still came back to me like a flashback.

“I was relieved to see that someone else thought the same thing. Manda-kun… Was it?”

“Na- Nagito… Senda…”

“Nagito-kun? That’s a bit of an unusual name. Do you know my name?”

I knew, or rather, it had been passed down to me through friends and rumors around me. It wouldn’t be a surprise if I knew the name of the famous Asatani-san.

“Um… Asatani-san, right?”

“Yes, that’s right. Am I really that famous?”

She wasn’t aiming for anything, it was just a genuine reaction. She didn’t even realize that she had dominated most of the conversations at school as soon as she had transferred.

It was not unusual for her to find love letters in her shoe box or to be approached by boys on her way to and from school. It wasn’t until after summer vacation that such situations arose. This was because from the time she had transferred to the new school in spring until summer, she was considered to be a beautiful girl who attracted attention but at the same time was hard to get close to.

I knew that Asatani-san was a cheerful person, but I didn’t expect her to have such a friendly expression on her face, so I was confused.

“Oh, but I might become really famous soon.”

“Eh…?”

“Well, I’m not really famous yet. Sorry, sorry, forget about that.”

She had already had a special vibe about her, as she had been attending a theater training school since elementary and she had also been scouted on the street regardless.

Not knowing any of that, as I carried the telescope up the hill, I said,

“Well… I think that kind of thing is totally possible with Asatani-san…”

“Eh, really? Do you really think so? From our talk just now, wasn’t I just normal?”

She said she was normal, and that hadn’t changed from the past to the present Asatani-san.

Her talent must have been sprouted through her efforts. The fact that she gained nationwide popularity while still in middle school was due not only to her good looks, but also to the high level of acting skills she possessed.

But I realised it was still a dream come true for her at that time. One day, she wanted to be famous, to be recognized by many people. So she worked hard to achieve those goals but never revealed her efforts to those around her.

“Hey, hey, what gave you the idea that it was possible?”

“Well, that’s…”

Because you were so cute… But the me in second year of middle school couldn’t say that. Even now, I haven’t grown that much courage.

“Senda-kun. Just say whatever comes to your mind. It’s okay, I won’t get angry.”

“Eh… well…”

If only I had been able to say it then, no matter how embarrassing it was.

I was sure if I did, I wouldn’t have seen the look she gave me next.

“What am I doing? I talk too much one-sidedly, don’t I? I’m sorry I’ve been so annoying.”

“…. No, it’s not annoying or anything like that at all. I’m still a bit of an outsider in the club, so it was nice of you to talk to me.”

“Ah, I knew it… But our club president seemed happy to be able to rely on you. She said it would be nice if we had a boy in our club too.”

I wouldn’t have known about that unless she told me about it.

Asatani-san, who had informed me without being pedantic, looked a little different at that moment.

“Oh, that’s right… I was supposed to help Senda-kun. We’re both wearing uniforms, so let’s do our best.”

“But, I’ll be fine on my own…”

“Oh, you’re still saying that when we’re already working together? It would be a piece of cake this way.”

She was feeling down saying that she had talked too much earlier, but she was already in high spirits now.

Her joke made me think that she was pretty daring, even though I had never talked to her before today.

“I’ll tell everyone in the club later that we brought the telescope as a joint effort. That way, you might be able to join our activity.”

As it turned out, Asatani-san did actually carry out her promise, and it was somewhat well received by everyone in the club.

I couldn’t stay until the peak of the meteor shower, but I was still able to see a little bit of it. I still have the video from then.

If it wasn’t for the interaction between the reading club and the astronomy club, there would have been no contact between Asatani-san and me.

Once every few weeks, on those few occasions, we were drawn to each other just by exchanging words.

–But it looks like I was the only one who thought so.

Gradually, my feelings grew stronger. I was afraid that I would end up not confessing my feelings to her as the graduation day came.

On the last day of school, I stopped by the library, which was the reading club’s clubroom. I saw Asatani-san. I thought it was merely a coincidence that I saw her there, as she would have to go to the graduation party with her friends.

Until I confessed to her, all I could think of was the happiness of being able to attend the same high school as boyfriend and girlfriend with her.

If I were to be accepted, I could occupy the position of her ‘boyfriend’, even if we talked less due to being in different classes.

It was all an expression of my own selfishness.

I didn’t want to see Asatani-san and someone else walking side by side one day. It was such a possessive, impatient desire and I wanted to be ahead of anyone she would meet in the future.

“I like you, Asatani-san.”

We had just finished a casual conversation in the library, when I blurted this out to her suddenly.

Asatani-san was surprised. It wasn’t a puzzled look, nor was it a look of wondering on what I said all of a sudden.

She smiled as she always did. I felt dazzled, not realizing that it was meant for her ‘friend’.

“I knew.”

That was her answer.

‘You like me, so let’s go out.’

Asatani-san never said anything like that.

She had been aware of my feelings for a while, and she just nodded her head when I told her.

“We’re in the same high school together. Please take care of me.”

After exchanging LINE with me, Asatani-san left the library, looking embarrassed.

I let out a single, inaudible cry of joy. I wondered if I could ever be this happy. I thought even if I die the next day I would not have any regrets.

There was no such thing as wasted feelings. Love could be rewarding. But such thoughts and feelings, all of them…

Now that I think about it, Asatani-san and I parted without any incidents, and now…

Takane-san was asking if I was single now.

I couldn’t look at Asatani-san because I couldn’t look away from Takane-san.

In the short time we had been together, I was only able to tell Asatani-san part of what I was thinking.

Even when I was dumped, I tried to compose myself and be done with it.

I didn’t want to make myself more miserable by knowing the reason.

My love for her had lost its meaning. I knew that but I didn’t face it.

It had to end now. No matter how uncool it was to talk about why I failed as a boyfriend.

“Right now, I’m single. I confessed to Asatani-san once, and she said yes… But I- I was getting carried away by myself.”

I hadn’t gotten over it. I could barely keep my voice from trembling.

“Asatani-san couldn’t see me as a boyfriend… That makes sense, it’s strange to have a boyfriend who uses honorifics all the time, right?”

I wanted them to laugh at me and joke that I had made a terrible mistake.

But neither of them laughed, not even a look of pity crossed their eyes, and Takane-san was looking me in the eye as she listened.

“I couldn’t be your boyfriend, but I can be your friend. It’ll just be back to the way we were in middle school.”

I was going to pretend that our relationship never happened.

I just wanted to forget I was ever in love and make my feelings for her zero.

I hoped this talk was not too heavy for Asatani-san and also for Takane-san who asked me.

“…… Is that why you two broke up?”

Takane-san looked at Asatani-san. Asatani-san didn’t change her expression, and just faced Takane-san.

“If so, what do you think, Takane-san?”

“I…”

Takane-san couldn’t answer right away. Asatani-san looked at her, smiled, and walked towards me.

“I know Nagi-kun better than Takane-san, and I think we get along well. Just because I dumped you, it doesn’t mean you hate me so much that you don’t even want to see me, do you?”

“I don’t think that way at all…”

“I see… You’re so kind, aren’t you, Nagi-kun?”

Asatani-san smiled as she said that. Then, she moved closer to me than I was to Takane-san, as if this was the distance of a ‘friend’.

“Then it’s okay if I borrow Nagi-kun from now on, right?”

The question was directed at Takane-san. It wasn’t like Takane-san and I were even friends yet. We were in the same class, and we just talked for the first time yesterday. It was absolutely not right to put pressure on her when we were still only in that kind of relationship.

That was why I couldn’t go with her. Asatani-san and I didn’t have the kind of relationship that allowed us to go somewhere together after school.

“Asatani-san, I…”

“You can’t.”

Takane-san said, interrupting my words.

The person Asatani-san asked was Takane-san. It only made sense that she would answer.

But the answer was something that neither I, nor I was sure Asatani-san too, could have imagined.

Suddenly, Takane-san breathed in, and then,

(……!)

She took my hand.

She then turned to Asatani-san and said,

“Asatani-san is Senda-kun’s ‘ex-girlfriend’, is that correct?”

“Yes… so?”

Asatani-san was still smiling. But there was a slight tension in her short reply.

It sounded as if she was in a panic.

Takane-san looked at me. I also looked at her, while our hands were still attached.

For a moment, she looked like she was in a state of hesitation.

But then, her grip on my hand tightened.

She said something that I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams.

“From now on, I’ll be the one going out with Senda-kun, so I’m his ‘current-girlfriend’.”

The noise from the athletic club that was coming from outside the window. The sound of the chime announcing the time. They all sounded distant.

“………”

Asatani-san looked away from Takane-san. Her lips seemed to move, but I couldn’t tell if she had said anything.

She stepped aside to make way for us. Takane-san then looked at me, as if she was afraid.

It was the same as when she followed and grabbed me by the hem of my uniform as we walked together. It must have taken a certain amount of courage for her to say ‘current-girlfriend’. I was sure she was worried.

I wanted to make that worry a little lighter for now.

“Let’s go, Takane-san. Asatani-san, see you later.”

“… Se- Senda-kun…”

I walked out of the library, taking Takane-san with me.

As we passed each other, Asatani-san was definitely smiling. She didn’t say a word and gave us a small wave.