Chapter 11: CH 11

Misunderstanding and Kiri’s Perspective

I walked out of the library without stopping. The sunlight coming through the window had begun to turn orange.

The sound of the chimes had been inaudible for some time now. As I approached the stairs, I heard a student’s voice from downstairs. I realized that I was still holding Takane-san’s hand.

“So- Sorry…”

When I let go of her hand, Takane-san gently pulled her hand away, and her eyes fell down.

Then she said in a small voice that seemed to be squeezed out.

“I’m the one who needs to apologize. I didn’t know much about Senda-kun and Asatani-san’s situation, but I said some selfish things…”

Asatani-san said that she was my ‘ex-girlfriend’. Takane-san opposed it, which, if I thought about it, seemed like a leap of faith.

“……..”

Takane-san was about to say something, but stopped herself. At the same time, she brushed her hair up and her ears, which were visible, were clearly red.

Seemed like she was embarrassed for saying ‘current-girlfriend’.

I realised she dared to say something like that for my sake.

“Takane-san can’t stand seeing me do what Asatani-san tells me to do, can you? That… ‘current-girlfriend’…”

“That was because… Asatani-san said she was Senda-kun’s ‘ex-girlfriend’.”

“That’s the truth, so she’s free to say that. It won’t hurt me or anything.”

“No. …… I was worried about Senda-kun as well, but that was something I said because I felt like saying it myself.”

It was not just a problem for me, it was a problem for her too. That was what she was telling me.

If I hadn’t met Asatani-san in the library, Takane-san still wouldn’t have known about us. It wasn’t that I was afraid of being found out, it was just that I didn’t think it would be easy to tell people that I had been dumped or that we had been dating.

–And if people didn’t know, I won’t have to look so pathetic. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that.

“I think Asatani-san wanted me to know that she and Senda-kun were dating…”

Assuming that Takane-san was right, why would Asatani-san do such a thing?

I wondered if she had any thoughts when she saw me and Takane-san going to school together. It was hard to understand why Asatani-san, who rebuked her friends for asking if Takane-san and I were dating, would do such a thing.

Moreover, when she asked me to have tea with her, was she going to talk about my recent situation with Takane-san?

Would we talk about our studies or reminisce about our middle school days? Even if it was a normal topic between friends, I didn’t think Asatani-san and I could talk about that naturally now.

Despite being dumped, I was still trying to support Asatani-san. If I were to tell her that now, it would just sound hollow.

“I…”

Takane-san squeezed the bottom collar of her own blazer. And for the first time after a while, she looked me straight in the eye.

–She was furious. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were even moistened.

“I don’t think you should ever make someone say why they dumped you once you’ve accepted their confession. I don’t understand what Asatani-san was thinking when she said ‘ex-girlfriend’. But I think Senda-kun thought about it yourself and spoke up for Asatani-san on your own…?”

She was so angry about all of this on my behalf.

I felt like an idiot. I had thought that if I played the clown, the fact that I really liked Asatani-san and the fact that we broke up without being able to do anything lover-like won’t be too heavy.

But such deception could not fool Takane-san’s eyes.

I remembered… She had been listening to me very seriously the whole time when I was telling her why I was dumped.

“We haven’t done anything that can be called dating. Even so, the fact that we went out remains. When Asatani-san said ‘ex-girlfriend’, it was probably out of a sense of obligation.”

“That’s just… Asatani-san looked happy when she was sitting next to Senda-kun, and also when she talked to you afterwards. I don’t think it was all an act.”

‘I’m sorry for saying we are acquaintances.’

‘Nagi-kun, your chair was very comfortable.’

I still felt both happy and sad with each word from Asatani-san.

I had no idea what she was thinking. Like a cat, I was glad that she was paying attention to me even on a whim. That was more like a fan than a friend.

“Asatani-san didn’t deny that she had dumped Senda-kun. But I think it’s not fair of her to ask me what I think of the breakup.”

“Takane-san…”

I was neither frustrated nor angry. I would still continue to support Asatani-san.

If that was really all I was feeling, then I wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Why was she more involved after our breakup? After she said we were just friends?

If we had taken a trip together, maybe we wouldn’t have split up.

I didn’t ask Asatani-san these questions, I just let them smolder in the back of my mind.

“Senda-kun, do you feel anger towards Asatani-san? She’s the one who…”

“It’s not that all the things I said earlier were just me being patient or trying to fix things. It’s just that I really think it’s best to leave it be and pretend everything is back to normal. I know it’s hard to do that right away, but I also know I have to forget.”

“It must be difficult if Asatani-san is in the same class as you and treats you with that kind of distance…”

“I just can’t leave it as it is… If her meaning of ‘friend’ is different from mine, then I don’t think I should let myself get carried away with her flow.

By the way, Takane-san helped me today, I’ll make sure that there won’t be any rumors about you and me.”

“Rumors…?”

“That’s why…”

Takane-san’s eyes were still red, but for some reason, she looked at me oddly.

“If what Takane-san said earlier were to spread to the entire class by mistake, it would be misunderstood by everyone…”

“I don’t think Asatani-san would spread rumors. And… Senda-kun, I don’t want to be so inconspicuous with the person I… love.”

She hesitated at the word ‘love’ and turned red again.

And then I realized.

I had been very serious since a while ago, and Takane-san was even more serious and determined than I was.

This girl… I realized that I was missing out on something very big.

“That… ‘current-girlfriend’ that Takane-san said, that means you think of me as…”

“……?”

“It means that you like… It’s just that I thought Takane-san only said it for my sake, I didn’t think you really feel that way…”

“Ah…”

I got everything just from that reaction. Takane-san was not aware of what she meant by what she had said.

I knew it. Of course. It was all too obvious. There was essentially no room for misunderstanding whatsoever. I was happy she cared but of course, this was not the time to be feeling flattered.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure there’s no misunderstanding. That’s why nothing is…”

I wondered to myself what was there to worry about. Takane-san, who was already bright red, was now even redder than before.

“Um… I…”

“I know… Calm down. I get it…”

“I’m sorry…!”

With her long hair flying, Takane-san ran. I heard the sound of footsteps pattering down the stairs.

I was left alone, and somehow I felt relieved. At the same time, I couldn’t help but laugh.

I wanted to tell the me of thirty seconds ago that don’t get your hopes up and talk calmly. That was not something you could say while being embarrassed.

Takane-san was just thanking me. As if a can of coffee wasn’t enough for her, she did one more thing that was too good to be true.

Because I was at Asatani-san’s mercy, she couldn’t bear to look at that happening and decided to help me. That kind of thing was not a lie, it was unconditional kindness.

But then again, ‘current-girlfriend’ was a bit brave. I may not know what face to make when I talk to her for a while, but it couldn’t be helped.

Takane-san was literally the unattainable flower. I was just sitting diagonally behind her, and that was it.

“…. Haha. What the h**l was I thinking…”

Maybe she saw me in a special light and what she said wasn’t just words in the spur of the moment. Such thoughts… It was too good to be true.

I was just passing by and helped out Takane-san, who was in trouble. It had nothing to do with liking, disliking, or going out with her.

That was what I kept telling myself, probably because I was shocked in more ways than one. For some reason, the situation seemed like Takane-san rejected me even though I hadn’t confessed to her, in fact it was exactly like that.

But then I started to remember the events that had happened since I met Takane-san, one by one until now.

“It’s not surprising that I’ve misunderstood. That was a bit naive, wasn’t it?”

I had just been dumped and was getting close to a different girl and I was expecting something from her. I didn’t need to think to know that it was out of the question.

As a way of atonement, I wanted to stay away from love and such things from now on. I had realized that I didn’t even have the right to think about such things now.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m leaving now… Please give my regards to Iida-sensei.”

I received a call from my manager, Kohira Kodaira, outside the library and apologized in a low voice.

If I had left right away, I would have been in time for my lesson at the training school. But I delayed it for some personal reasons and got squeezed softly.

Lida-sensei, my acting instructor, was looking out for me and would surely be worried if I took a break from the training school. I had to show up now, but I couldn’t move from the spot for a while after I left Nagi-kun.

“Ah… I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I didn’t want to disturb the two of them. It was true that I came to see Watanabe-san. We also agreed that if the timing didn’t work out, we would meet tomorrow instead

So I went to the library, thinking that Nagi-kun and Takane-san were together.

I wished I could have been more honest, but I said something that seemed to test both of them. When I saw the look on Nagi-kun’s face that said he didn’t know what I was thinking, I wished he wouldn’t look at me like that, but at the same time I felt that it was okay, and my head was full of contradictions.

“Even though I was the one who asked him to tell me. I don’t understand…”

I didn’t expect it to be so fast.

I knew that if someone noticed Nagi-kun’s good parts, it would happen eventually.

Still, I couldn’t even say congratulations, I just muttered it in a voice that could have been muffled by the chimes.

–Why weren’t you angry with me?

If he had heard it, it would have been the end of everything.

Since I started going out with Nagi-kun, I had done things that would make him angry, but he still laughed and forgave me. He didn’t even think that I had done anything to make him angry.

Nagi-kun was not upset when I said ‘friend’. Knowing that he was hurting, I sent a message insensitively, and still–

Compared to me, Takane-san had only spent a short time with Nagi-kun, but she cared about him very much.

She even went so far as to declare war on me in order to protect Nagi-kun.

But I was not going to give her a fight.

I was an ‘ex-girlfriend’. A mere friend won’t compete with the ‘current-girlfriend’.

So even if Nagi-kun didn’t know what I thought, that was fine.

“I wonder if we can get along… It’s hard to tell.”

I promised Takane-san that I would do tomorrow’s fitness test together with her.

I didn’t dislike her. From the moment she delivered her speech as a representative of the new students, I thought she was great because she had a lot of things that I didn’t have.

But now, just a little bit more. I couldn’t just admire Takane-san any longer.

I didn’t think it was true that she was going out with Nagi-kun. Nagi-kun was surprised but even so, he tried to separate me and Takane-san, taking her with him.

If that was the case, they would probably discuss it somewhere I couldn’t see them and then go home separately.

I looked at the bicycle parking lot from a window in the school hallway.

–Nagi-kun was there by himself.

It was just as I thought. It was too sudden for him to just break up with me and start going out with Takane-san right away.

I decided to watch Nagi-kun until he got on his bike and left. I was on the second floor, but Nagi-kun was unaware of my presence.

“I see… So it’s like that…”

A slender and tall girl with an amazingly good style. Takane-san emerged from the corner of the school building and walked towards Nagi-kun.

Even though she didn’t ride a bike to school, Takane-san came back even though she and Nagi-kun already went their separate ways. I could imagine many reasons for this, but I knew it could only mean one thing.

Her long hair looked shining in the orange light. It was like a scene from a movie.

Her hair was always so smooth and straight. She decided to do something a little different today. I wondered how many people would have noticed. I was sure… it was for Nagi-kun to see.

Nagi-kun noticed that Takane had come. The two of them exchanged some words.

“…….”

I moved away from the window, not wanting to look any further.

The reflection of myself in the window was not something I could show to anyone.