Chapter 24: CH 24

To Avoid Hesitation

–At some point, I heard that when Asatani-san was returning home with her friends, she was approached by a male student from a different school.

Asatani-san’s friend jokingly said that she should get a boyfriend and let him protect her. At that time, Asatani-san replied,

“I can’t really think of starting a relationship for that reason. I don’t want to cause anyone trouble, so I have to do my best. Also, I’m a fast runner.”

She said it with a smile, as if to cheer up her worried friend.

Even though the summer festival incident happened, it didn’t mean that she became uncomfortable with men in general. There must be a lot of men on the set of a drama, but there was nothing unnatural about Asatani-san’s performance.

She didn’t want people to worry about her. I was included in that perimeter, and I was sure that it was still the same.

(Waiting for someone to come out? They must have a good countermeasure, right? That’s the way it should be…)

Maybe I had a dream like that because Takadera sent me a message while I was asleep.

I was just going to Asatani-san’s public recording as a fan, but that’s just me making up excuses because I couldn’t get rid of the ticket – I knew I shouldn’t do this when I just started going out with Takane-san.

Asatani-san would probably finish her work without any incident and leave. She might react to someone’s comment on the internet worrying about her, saying their worries were not required as there were people who would make sure Asatani-san can work safely.

I knew that laying out reasons like that for not going was just me making excuses again.

I wanted to be justified in ignoring the ticket that was given to me. I just wanted to convince myself that it was natural for me to not go.

If Nakano-san was the one to go to the public recording, Asatani-san would be happy that her friend came to support her, and that’s fine. I didn’t win the ticket in the first place. I wasn’t even planning on going.

Just as I made my mind up, I received another message.

–It was from Nakano-san. I could already imagine the contents even before I saw it.

[It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you. About that favor I asked you, can you do it?]

“…No at this time…”

I couldn’t help but think that it’d be sneaky of me not to tell her when she was the one who gave me the ticket.

What if she had already decided to do this when she gave it to me? I would have to ask Nakano-san – Did she think that Asatani-san would ask her to give me the ticket? Or did Asatani-san actually say that?

[I was also looking forward to Noirin’s public recording, but something urgent came up.]

[I think Noarin’s friends are going to see it too, but I haven’t really gotten to know them yet.]

[So, I was hoping Nagisen could go instead.]

[Look, we’re in the same club, and I have your contact address, so I can talk to you whenever I want.]

[Ah, I know Nagisen’s been getting close to Takane-san, I’ll be sure to read the room.]

[Should I keep this a secret? Or is it okay to tell her?]

[It’s okay, we’re classmates, and Takane-san and Kiri-chan seem to be getting along well.]

“She’s not even reading the room…”

Why did she go so far out of her way to make me go to the public recording? I was sure Nakano-san was aware that she was doing something that I couldn’t help but be suspicious of.

Yamaguchi-san, Inagawa-san and Nakano-san might not seem to know each other well yet, but, just because Nakano-san was late to join Asatani-san’s group, which was formed early in the school year, it’s not like there’d be any serious rift between them.

I had thought that I might not be able to talk to Nakano-san in high school. It was only natural that I wouldn’t know what she was thinking.

I was sure she had got some kind of a thing going on. I didn’t know if that was after talking to Asatani-san or if it was Nakano-san’s own idea.

Takane-san and Asatani-san seemed to be on good terms with each other, it’s not only Nakano-san who thought that way. Even if the reality was complicated, that in itself was not something to be doubted.

At the end of Nakano-san’s message, she sent a stamp that said please. I wished I had submitted my application to join the club next week instead of yesterday, but it was already too late.

“Go there unnoticed and go home… That’s all I need to do.”

Me being there instead of Nakano-san, that’s something I could say later. Nakano-san could also tell them instead.

–I’ll ask Takane-san, and if she tells me not to go, I won’t go.

But if I ask Takane-san, wasn’t that acting spoiled?

Going to see my ‘ex-girlfriend’ only after getting permission from my ‘current-girlfriend’, that was just –

“Nakkun, let’s make breakfast together. Are you still sleeping?”

“I’m already up.”

When I answered, the door opened in a beat. Ruru-nee walked into the room and smiled at me as if she was troubled.

“Why do you look so serious in the morning? Did you dream about the horror movie that we saw last night?”

“…I had a dream, but it was nothing like that.”

“Ah, you’re more honest than I thought. When Nakkun has that look on his face, he doesn’t rely on his Onee-chan. If you’re worried about something, you know you can always talk to me, right?”

“No, it’s my problem.”

“It’s okay… isn’t it? You’re really worried, aren’t you?”

Unlike the usual Ruru-nee, she didn’t say anything mischievous or tease me.

–Speaking of things that couldn’t be helped, I always made Ruru-nee worried.

While making breakfast, I told her about the ticket that Nakano-san had given me.

“…Then Nakkun, isn’t that what they call, a set up…?”

“Describing it that way is…”

“Nakkun is too soft-hearted. Maybe you’ve been avoiding thinking about it that way.”

“I don’t understand why Nakano-san would do such a thing, and I don’t think Asatani-san meant to go that far. Whether I go or not…”

“If I were Kiri-chan, I’d be happy if Nakkun was watching me. However, Onee-chan is sure she can’t convince you to imagine that on her own.”

Asatani-san would be happy to know that I was there. I’d be a fool if I imagined such a thing, let alone when Ruru-nee was the one who said it.

“…But, You’re worried about some things, aren’t you? If so, I think you better go. If you’re wondering if you need to tell Takane-san, I think it might be better to keep it a secret… But Nakkun thinks that’s a betrayal, don’t you?”

The truth was, it was not even a question of hesitation. I shouldn’t worry about the expiration date of the ticket and should just dismiss it as something I won’t use.

And yet, I couldn’t do so. It was like I still have feelings for Asatani-san. It’s a betrayal that I shouldn’t do to Takane-san.

“Hearing what happened… I can’t stop Nakkun even if he says he’s going… Nakkun is a kind boy, so I’m sure he’s going. Still, it’d be terrible to go after telling Takane-san.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“But I still think it’s better to go. If Nakkun doesn’t go and regrets it even a little, I think that would hurt Takane-san even more.”

–Why are you pushing me to go?

She could’ve just thrown me out and said I was on my own. That’s why it bothered me.

“Why don’t you tell Takane-san properly, go see Kiri-chan, and then come back? It’s not like you can’t come back if you go.”

“But, what’s the point wandering around now…”

“You need to get your feelings in order, Nakkun. I don’t know what happened, but you got dumped. But it’s not like Kiri-chan doesn’t like you, actually she might still-“

“That’s impossible! Absolutely impossible!”

“Then I think this will prove to be the case. Nakkun is only going to see ‘Kiritani Noa’. You’re not going to see her because you still like ‘Kiri-chan’.”

Ruru-nee said that, and then looked at the clock. It was a little after 8 a.m. It hadn’t been as long as I’d imagined since I woke up.

“Think about it a little more and if you still decide it’s not a good idea to go, you can give the ticket to Onee-chan. That way, it won’t go to waste.”

“Ruru-nee…”

“I know I said some terrible things and Nakkun just wants to take care of his current girlfriend… That’s why, I’m also responsible.”

There was no need for Ruru-nee to feel responsible for anything. I was such an ungrateful brother that I felt for a moment that I should not have consulted with her.

“I’ll figure it out on my own. And whether I’m going or not, maybe I’ll tell Takane-san.”

“Yeah… Then, let’s eat.”

Ruru-nee started eating her breakfast. When we were making it, I was in a daze, but when I took a closer look, I saw that it was all my favorite food, which I didn’t often make in the morning.

To the emotions that have been floating in the air and have no place to go, I wanted answers.

I could think of many reasons why Asatani-san dumped me. Even if I were to fall in love with someone again, I didn’t know if my feelings would reach her.

–I like Takane-san.

That’s why I couldn’t lie to her. Even if I didn’t know if she would accept my words that I wanted her to believe.