Chapter 27: CH 27

Verifying One’s Answers – Nozomi’s Perspective

After his trip to see Asatani-san’s public recording, Nagito-san called me right away on his way home.

–Asatani-san is fine. She didn’t get tangled up with any of those people waiting for her to come out.

–After getting away, we went apart immediately. Now I’m going home.

Although I decided not to ask him about the details, I wanted to make sure of one thing.

–How was the public recording?

–I thought it was great.

I knew that was his honest opinion. However, what Nagito-san had said as the next part of the story had been stuck in my mind for a while.

–Although we go to the same school, I felt like we were from different worlds.

I suppose that’s an honest compliment. Nagito-san just said what he thought — but

If ‘the person I’m in a relationship with’ thought that way…

If Asatani-san knew how Nagito-san was looking at her — I could only imagine how she would feel.

That night, instead of calling Nagito-san, I spent a long time in the bathroom pondering.

There were plenty of opportunities to find out. Asatani-san hadn’t been hiding anything, now that I thought about it.

What was the actual reason for her to come to the library when Nagito-san and I were cleaning together?

Why did she say she was Nagito-san’s ‘ex-girlfriend’ in front of me?

When her friend said something rude about Nagito-san, Asatani-san properly denied it.

And the expression on Asatani-san’s face when she was being tutored.

–The smile on her face when she said she would support us.

“…The two of them seem to have some kind of misunderstanding… I wonder if that’s what it is…”

I kept thinking about it as I soaked in the bathtub.

I have only been able to know a part of Nagito-san and Asatani-san.

Nagito-san was a sincere person. It’s very hard for me to believe that Asatani-san would dump him. Maybe we have opposite views on the value of men.

But I didn’t think it was true to say that Asatani-san was not interested in Nagito-san as a member of the opposite s*x.

If she wasn’t really interested, she wouldn’t have said she would support us.

Even in the physical fitness test, she competed with me, not skipping a single exercise. Even though I was confident in my athletic ability, Asatani-san was able to keep up with me in every event and was extremely dexterous and capable of doing anything.

“…It can’t be helped that Nagito-san likes her.”

You could do anything you want as long as you kept your focus. Even if she was a little weak in her studies, she was enrolled in the same school as us, so Asatani-san had the capacity to learn that much more if she studied.

But then, why was she being tutored by Nagito-san?

I couldn’t believe she dared to ask Nagito-san to teach her. That kind of thing was–

“…If that’s the case…”

Asatani-san was a perfect person. She was a person who could control her emotions and expressions so that what she’s thinking wouldn’t be known.

If that’s how she was hiding her true feelings too well…

“That would only make me…”

Assuming it was as I imagined it to be.

What if Asatani-san had her reasons for not being able to have a relationship with Nagito-san, and she just couldn’t say it?

If I had never met Nagito-san, maybe she was planning to tell him the truth someday.

“Nozomi, are you sure you shouldn’t come out soon? You look like you’ve been in there a long time.”

“Ah,… Ye-Yes. I’m coming out…”

I heard my mother’s voice from outside the bathroom. But when I tried to stand up, I became dizzy and slumped down.

“What’s wrong?”

“… I’m okay…”

“Really? Alright then…”

It was the first time that I had soaked in a bath to the point of being so exhausted.

I was sure Asatani-san was having as much trouble as I was — Nagito-san too.

When I was on the phone with Nagito-san today, his voice sounded very painful. That was because he thought that going to Asatani-san’s place was something wrong.

I was very happy about that sentiment. He could have kept it a secret from me, but he did not.

But I couldn’t keep my composure when I responded to Nagito-san. Just trying to speak normally was all I could do.

“…I have to do this properly…”

I like Nagito-san. Ever since I became aware of this, I have been thinking about what I could do for him.

This was for him.

But more than that — It’s for me too.

I left the bathroom, put on a bath towel, and looked in the mirror.

I want to talk to Asatani-san and get to know her as the ‘current girlfriend’.

I want to know why she dumped Nagito-san.

Monday.

While I was sitting next to Nagito-san in class, I was thinking about what I should do after school.

I repeatedly wondered whether or not I should tell Nagito-san – And in the end, I decided not to.

It would definitely make him worry, and that was not what I wanted.

I would ask Asatani-san to tell me what she couldn’t tell Nagito-san. In order to do that, I have to keep it a secret from Nagito-san for now.

[Takane-san, do you have plans after school today?]

[I’m thinking of studying in the library, would you like to join me?]

A message came from Nagito-san.

To that, I replied [Tomorrow will be fine.]

I approached Asatani-san when we were changing classes. Just for a little while, I was able to talk to Asatani-san when we were alone.

–I have a lesson today, so we can have a date until six o’clock.

Asatani-san smiled softly and said so, as if it was nothing.

After school hours, in a secluded place, on the terrace of the school cafeteria – That’s where I met up with Asatani-san.

“…Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Thank you for taking the time to come.”

I got up from my seat and greeted Asatani-san. She put down her school bag and took a seat across from me.

“I know what you want to talk about. Takane-san, you’re here because Nagi-kun told you, right?”

“…It’s not like I’m angry or anything.”

“Yes, I know that too. Takane-san isn’t such a narrow-minded girl after all.”

“No… Asatani-san, you don’t understand anything. We’ve only just gotten to know each other.”

“Is that so? Just because we were together for a while doesn’t mean we’re all that close.”

“…So Asatani-san and Nagito-san were just together like that?”

Asatani-san smiled – With eyes that seemed to look somewhere other than here.

“We didn’t spend that much time together, though. I was in the astronomy club and Nagi-kun was in the reading club. The seniors in the two clubs got along well, and we used to hang out together because of that. We would hang out in the library and play board games outside the school on our days off.”

“…I’m jealous.”

“…Did you not play with everyone like that, Takane-san?”

“No. I’m jealous of Asatani-san who was able to do many things and spend time with Nagito-san.”

“…Is that so?”

“That’s right. That’s why I really want to know. Why did you dump Nagito-san?”

“That’s…”

Asatani-san tried to say something without changing her expression, but I interrupted her and said,

“No. What I want to ask is why did you try to keep Nagito-san away?”

–Watching Asatani-san closely, I could tell.

Why was she trying to keep Nagito-san, whom she supposedly dumped, from leaving definitively?

Even the incident in the library would make sense if I thought about it this way.

“You came to the library because you knew about Nagito-san and me. You had your reasons, but… That was all just to tell me that you are his ‘ex-girlfriend’.”

Asatani-san didn’t answer anything. But her silence was just as good as the answer itself.

And yet, she kept her usual smile on her face – Saying such things without concern,

“Takane-san, did you hear about everything that happened when I dumped Nagi-kun? I said I’d support Nagi-kun if he got a new girlfriend.”

“…That’s…”

“If it sounded like I was saying ‘ex-girlfriend’ as if it was taking a shot against you, then I was wrong, and I’m sorry about that. But you know, I am not what you think I am, Takane-san. I told you both I’d support you.”

There were some hints of weakness in what Asatani-san was saying. Her emotions were slowly becoming impossible to hide.

–Because she was trying to talk me out of it like that, without even taking a breath.

Her perfect performance wavered. But if she pushed me here, I would never be able to see her true feelings again.

“…Why did you give the ticket to Nakano-san?”

I said in a voice that did not sound accusing. Asatani-san didn’t answer – There was only one reason why she couldn’t.

“You didn’t know in advance whether Nagito-san would come to the library or not. But Asatani-san was in the library, talking with Nakano-san. Why did you immediately leave at that time, when you would usually call out to Nagito-san…?”

“…I didn’t expect that, you know? Takane-san is right, I didn’t think Yui-chan would give Nagi-kun a ticket…”

“Nagito-san went to see the public recording because he wanted to support Asatani-san. But… Nagito-san must have been happy to see Asatani-san so successful. That’s because you’re…”

I couldn’t say much more than that.

Because Asatani-san’s eyes had changed – She was saying that I mustn’t say anything more, that she didn’t want me to say anything more.

Still, I couldn’t back down. I had a feeling that if I didn’t hear from Asatani-san here, she would never tell the truth to me or to Nagito-san.

“…It’s not that Nagito-san doesn’t like you anymore. Even now, he still likes you.”

“Why do you say that? Nagi-kun is Takane-san’s…”

“It’s because I like him. That’s why… I want to know the true feelings of the person Nagito-san likes.”

“I… There was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t even bother to explain why, I just called out to him to hurt his feelings and then dumped him. I even made a face like we were never together, but still, when he got a new girlfriend, I claimed to be his ‘ex-girlfriend’…”

“…It’s not that there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“…I haven’t done anything to deserve being treated with such kindness…!”

Asatani-san stood up. The chair scraped and made a noise – This was not an act.

Asatani-san was pouring out her emotions to me. It’s so powerful that I was afraid to face her, and I was shaking – This was the true nature of the actress ‘Kiritani Noa’.

But I couldn’t back down –  If I were to run away, I would no longer be qualified to be by Nagito-san’s side.

“…Why aren’t you mad at me? If it hadn’t been for the ticket, Nagi-kun wouldn’t have come to me.”

“That’s because… I can’t blame you, Asatani-san.”

“That’s not true, right…? How can Takane-san, who’s the current girlfriend, like it? Or even thought it was okay for Nagi-kun to come to me?”

Perhaps I still didn’t know what I was talking about yet.

I had never fallen in love with anyone before I met Nagito-san.

Asatani-san was right. As much as I was anxious, I believed in Nagito-san.

I knew he would come back. I wouldn’t be hurt.

And when that happened, I didn’t realize that it might hurt Asatani-san.

“…Nagi-kun cares about you, Takane-san. He is falling in love with you. It doesn’t matter how short the time is, he’s a lot more lively than he was after he confessed to me.”

–I thought I was the only one who had these feelings.

I didn’t want to have someone who knew more about Nagito-san than I did. I wanted to obtain as many firsts as I could as lovers.

I wanted him to only look at me. If there was anything I could do to make that happen, I wanted to do it.

But she was different.

Asatani-san was thinking the same thing as I was, and yet, she let go of Nagito-san’s hand on her own.

Even though she didn’t say it in words, I could feel it. Because tears were running down Asatani-san’s cheeks.

“…Please let me support you. Show me that you two are happy together. Let me believe that Nagi-kun doesn’t need me.”

Teardrops fell on the table.

I thought that beautiful people could win people’s hearts, even when they shed tears.

If that was real, maybe I didn’t need to reach out to my love rival even if she was crying – Maybe Asatani-san was right, this was a kindness she didn’t need.

Still, I couldn’t leave it alone.

There was no way I could dislike the same person – The person who had fallen in love with Nagito-san to such an extent.

“I… I want Asatani-san to tell Nagito-san how she really feels.”

“…There’s no way I can do that…”

“Nagito-san will forgive you. If Asatani-san were to tell him the truth, then the misunderstanding that he was dumped would be cleared up.”

I couldn’t even believe what I was saying.

I didn’t think it was a misunderstanding. Asatani-san’s dumping of Nagito-san was never a lie that she wanted to tell.

It was because she had to. There was a reason why she had to lie–

“…I’d like to know. Why did Asatani-san have to dump Nagito-san?”

I pulled out a handkerchief and held it out for Asatani-san to take.

She looked at it and smiled – A fragile, beautiful smile.

Then, refraining from using mine, she pulled out her own handkerchief and wiped her tears.

“…I really can’t compete with you, can I? From the first time I saw you, I knew I wouldn’t like you, Takane-san.”

“…Actually, neither do I.”

Asatani-san looked at me in surprise. I have said things that I would never say to anyone.

I was jealous of other people who were talking to the person I was interested in, and I had bad feelings towards them.

“But… Now, I don’t think so. I want to talk to Asatani-san.”

“…You are a softie, Takane-san. If I were in Takane-san’s position, I would probably say something terrible. I have a very bad personality after all.”

“That… I understand.”

“Oh, you’re getting aggressive. I knew it, Takane-san in attack mode is tough.”

I smiled – I didn’t plan to attack, though I might try.

“I know that Asatani-san isn’t a bad person, but rather she’s not honest.”

Asatani-san smiled a little annoyed and turned away from me. Then, after standing firmly, she sat back down on the seat facing me.

Even if I were to hear the truth from Asatani-san here, it might be a long time before I could tell Nagito-san.

–I didn’t think I would like her at first, but gradually I realized that I did.

“If we hadn’t met like this, I wonder if we could have been friends.”

“We can be friends. Depending on what we are going to talk about…”

“…I see. Well, where should I start?”

“From the moment you met Nagito-san… Our conversation doesn’t have to end today.”

If I could hear the rest of the story, I would be happy to stay until the end of the day.

“Um… Should we get a drink? Maybe a little bitter canned coffee.”

“No. Maybe next time, I’ll give it to Nagito-san.”

“…So you knew I was watching you at the station.”

“Yes. If you looked at me like that, I would notice.”

The expression on Asatani-san’s face when she looked at me has changed. Until now, she was wrapped in a transparent shell, and I couldn’t see what she was thinking. But now, I knew her current unpretentious smile was her true face.

“You are beautiful when you are playing a role, but… The real Asatani-san is even more beautiful.”

“…If Takane-san was a boy, some of the girls would fall in love with you now.”

“What about Asatani-san…?”

“…You understand what I meant, right?” (T/N: Asatani best girl???)

The person she loved – The only person she had ever loved, was only him. Even for a metaphorical story, she would never fall in love with someone else.

I was sure she had memories of her time with Nagito-san that she wanted to cherish and didn’t want to share with anyone.

Even if I couldn’t hear that, I wanted to hear whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. Even if I become envious of her, I would not regret it.

Because I intended to make even more memories with Nagito-san.