Chapter 29: CH 29

Interlude 1 – Nozomi And Kiri

On the day that Asatani-san and I talked on the terrace of the school cafeteria, I continued to call her after I got home.

[Wireless earphones are nice because you can make calls while also doing something.]

“I guess so… Asatani-san, do you exercise every day?”

[Yes, before taking a bath or when I want to sweat a little.]

Asatani-san was doing exercises on the floor of her room, dressed roughly in a tank top and short spats. The scene was shown on the screen of my smartphone via video call.

I was in the room where I played the piano because we were talking about showing each other how we spend time at home. I was doing something with Asatani-san that even normal friends didn’t seem to do that much of – She was a celebrity, and I’ve only just met her, and she was Nagito-san’s ex-girlfriend.

But I wasn’t tense, and when I was talking to her, I was calmer than I had imagined I would be.

[What I’m doing is called Pilates. Are you interested in it, Takane-san?]

“Yes, Asatani-san, where did you learn it?”

[My dance teacher taught me and I started doing it at home. I can teach you. There’s a studio in front of the station, we can learn there too]

Asatani-san had a very flexible body. She looked like she could be a member of the rhythmic gymnastics team. I was not particularly stiff either, but I’ve always admired people with flexible bodies–Nagito-san was also very flexible, even though he didn’t falter when pushed by his seniors.

[I’m not sure if Takane-san knows this, but Nagi-kun is actually very athletic. He goes to the gym with his sister, and maybe he still does.]

“Yes, Nakano-san told me, and that’s how I came to know about it.”

[I see. Yui-chan is a kind girl who talks about a lot of things, so if you join the same club, make friends with her.]

“I hope we can get along too. That pose you’re making kind of looks like a cat, doesn’t it?”

[Yes, that’s right, like a panther pose. Its official name is swimming. Do you like cats, Takane-san?]

“I like cats, but I’ve had a dog in my house since I was a kid, so I’m more of a dog person.”

[I want to see what it looks like. I’ll show you mine, she’s on the bed. Senna, come here.]

As Asatani-san beckoned, a cat with white fur came into the screen and rubbed its cheek against Asatani-san’s lap as she did her exercises.

[She’s so cute. She just turned one, but she’s already about the size of a human high school student, haha]

“I see… Is Senna-chan a boy?”

[No, it’s a girl. I posted her picture on social media once, and it got really popular. It’s so sad to leave such a cute girl behind. I wonder where her real mother is, and how she’s doing.]

Senna-chan had been abandoned by her owner when she was a newborn kitten, and she was being raised at Asatani-san’s house.

It was a beautiful sight to see her playing with the cat and doing exercises, so gentle that I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

[U-Um… Haha, I’m sorry. I just get like this when I play with my cat.]

“No, I understand. I used to talk to my pet like that when she was little.”

[Ah, Shih Tzu-chan. So cute!]

“Its name is Cocoa. Since I rarely make video calls, it looks to be curious.”

[Aww, it’s so cute, its eyes are sparkling. It looks like it really loves Nozomi-chan.]

“Senna-chan also has a face that says she loves Kiri-chan.”

[Really? I mean, we talked about being rivals today, but it’s been pretty casual, hasn’t it?]

“…That’s what I thought, too. But…”

[…I’m just happy that we can talk like this. I’m also happy that Takane-san was seriously angry with me. I knew very well that I was wrong.]

The fact that Asatani-san didn’t tell him everything she was thinking about him, the fact that she didn’t tell him why they had to go back to being ‘friends’, and the fact that she pushed him away. Lying to her own heart like this, I didn’t even know if it was a mistake.

Asatani-san didn’t lie just for her own sake, but also because she was thinking about Nagito-san and tried to get her relationship with him back to the way it was before he confessed.

(…Just to have Nagito-san say that to me would make me extremely happy. I wonder if I could get Nagito-san to think of me that much.)

[When I heard that Takane-san had also been helped by Nagi-kun, I was relieved that Nagi-kun is that kind of person after all. Even though I have no right to think that way.]

“…When we were talking today, didn’t you say, ‘Actually, I want to go home with Nagi-kun, I want to do club activities with him, and I even want to have lunch with him’?”

[Ugh, so painful… I really wished I hadn’t said that, but Takane-san said she wouldn’t let me sleep unless I told her.]

“I didn’t mean it that way…. But I’m glad I got to hear it. There’s a difference between thinking about it and talking about it with Nagito-san and keeping it a secret.”

Having said that, we were rivals and I thought there were things we wanted to keep secret from each other.

We made it a rule that we didn’t have to tell each other about all the dates we had with Nagito-san, or what we spent time doing together.

[But I already said that I would never do anything like that. After the radio recording was over, I was so anxious when Nagi-kun stayed with me until I was picked up, because I felt bad for Takane-san. I’m just petty…]

“I don’t think that’s the case with Asatani-san, who appears on TV so openly.”

[I still get nervous about TV, but that’s not the same thing. I’ve already figured out that I’m weak when it comes to love. It makes me weak, it makes me despicable, and I wouldn’t be able to bear it anymore. If I were a character in a drama, I would definitely hate myself.]

“But… We all have our weaknesses. I think that’s why we feel sympathy for people like that, and why we let our emotions get the better of us.”

[Yeah, I know… The role I’m playing in the drama was written to be likable in the script. She falls in love with her brother-in-law and backs out before he realizes her feelings. I wondered if I should be like that. But it’s weird to be influenced by the role you’re playing and to decide something so important, right?]

Asatani-san was much more open about her feelings than before we talked.

I couldn’t tell Nagito-san, but someday I might tell him about it myself, but I’d really rather I didn’t – That’s what Asatani-san said.

I would not push Asaya-san back. The truth was, Asatani-san couldn’t really just stand by and watch me and Nagito-san go out with each other.

–That’s why, I…

“I’ll do my best to be the person Nagito-san loves the most.”

Asatani-san suddenly stopped her gymnastics – She sat down on the floor and picked up her smartphone.

[I’ve been watching the whole time. Takane-san asked me if I wanted to just watch, but… Just the fact that you’ve allowed me to say that my feelings shouldn’t be locked away is enough for me. You’ve been so kind to me that it’s almost a waste.]

“…If you can no longer hide your feelings of love, what will you do then?”

[Ahaha… I don’t think that’s something I can think about right now. Whether or not Nagi-kun will accept me as a friend is already a very high hurdle to overcome.]

“I don’t think that is true. Although he might be troubled by the distance between ‘friends’…”

[Takane-san knows Nagi-kun much better than I do. If he has someone like you by his side, I’m sure he’ll have fun every day and be happy… Well, I’m starting to think in that direction again. I guess I’ve got a habit of losing.]

“…That’s not true.”

If only there was a chance, Asatani-san might be able to tell the truth to Nagito-san.

If she did, I wouldn’t be able to be his girlfriend anymore. My heart hurts just by thinking about it, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret that I was talking to Asatani-san like this.

[…Oh, that’s right, I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but I will. I haven’t kissed Nagi-kun or anything like that. Of course, um… Anything beyond that too…]

“…I-I…see…”

That was something I knew I shouldn’t ask, even if I was curious about it. I tried not to think about it, even though I knew it was not possible.

But as much as I was relieved when I was told that nothing had happened between them – I couldn’t help but think about how Nagito-san must have felt when he didn’t do that to the person he loved so much.

She was too important to be touched. If that’s the case, Asatani-san – She shouldn’t try to imagine that much, even if it’s a ‘friend’.

[Well, that’s only obvious, since I couldn’t go on a date after he confessed his feelings to me.]

Asatani-san said “couldn’t” not “didn’t”.

It wasn’t that she didn’t intend to date. She wanted to, but she couldn’t – If that’s the case, and if Nagito-san hadn’t been in a relationship before Asatani-san, then he might not have been on a date yet.

[…If you go on a date with Nagi-kun, where would you go…? No, I shouldn’t ask that kind of thing. Hah~~ But I’m curious. I want to follow you in secret.]

“Y-You can’t do that… Because it’s embarrassing.”

[I’m not only interested in Nagi-kun, but I’m also curious about what kind of clothes Takane-san will be wearing. I’m sure Takane-san can model for readers, and I may even introduce her to the magazine company I used to work for.]

“No, I’m not very good at public appearances… I get nervous even during piano recitals.”

[Oh that’s right, Takane-san can play the piano. I’ve been wondering about that since I saw the big piano on the screen.]

–Along with her cat, Senna-chan, Asatani-san looked at me expectantly with her eyes sparkling like a child.

“Senna also wants to hear Takane-san’s piano, right? Nozomi-chan, I want to hear you play, nyan~”

Asatani-san, holding Senna-chan, did a kind of ventriloquism. Seeing her like that, I couldn’t say that I only played privately for Nagito-san.

“What kind of music would you like?”

[Eh, is that really okay? Then, I think I’d like a relaxing song.]

In response to Asatani-san’s request, I thought for a moment. The song I chose was the song for the drama PV that I had opened when I saw Asatani-san’s commercial on a video site.

“Ah…”

Asatani-san smiled happily as she seemed to realize that the song was from the drama she was in right from the start. Then, with Senna-chan in her arms, she closed her eyes and listened to my piano.

Tomorrow after school, Asatani-san and I were supposed to meet up with Nagito-san. The place would be the bicycle parking lot where Nagito-san always parked his bicycle.

What Asatani-san wanted to say to Nagito-san right now was that she wanted to be there for him like a friend, without getting weirdly distant.

And that she didn’t dislike Nagito-san to this day. She told me that she would do her best as much as she could, even if she couldn’t put it into words directly.

I thought he would be very surprised to know what we talked about, and why Asatani-san and I were getting along better than before. I was sure it was all very strange and would confuse him.

I could see that Nagito-san cared for Asatani-san, and I wanted to do the same – I knew how pretentious that sounded.

Even so, I would never lose to Asatani-san.

If Asatani-san maintained her distance from Nagito-san as friends, maybe one day Asatani-san would be able to tell him the truth.

(…Even so, I will definitely not give him away. I will definitely not lose… Even if I get along with Asatani-san as ‘friends’ from now on.)

Up until now, I have only liked Nagito-san and wanted to be with him.

From now on, I would be friends with Asatani-san and we would spend the next three years at the same school.

I didn’t want to make Nagito-san worry too much, but I thought love was war. I couldn’t let my guard down even a little bit anymore.

I was so troubled by these thoughts that I went to bed two hours later than usual. As long as I was seated next to Nagito-san, I would never fall asleep in class or show him anything embarrassing.

–Although I couldn’t show him,

Nagito-san’s the reason I couldn’t sleep, so I was hoping that you could at least pretend for a moment that you couldn’t see me. (T/N: The Nagito-san here is written with Anata in furigana, which could translate to dear/honey.)