C-46
Y/n:
hey Jungwoo
I know youre busy but can we meet at the park after class?
I really need to ask you about something
thanks!
I type in quick succession because the class is about to start and I'm still at my locker. Minho looks at me weirdly when I sprint to my seat. Thank goodness, I got here before Mr. Ho!
"Where were you?" Minho asks and I slam my Mathematics book on the desk. He smirks and takes out his own too. "Don't wanna clean his mess again?"
"Don't wanna go to detention again?"
"Touché." He chuckles. "I didn't even go back then."
"Because you chose to fight with those thugs at the locker area."
"I wouldn't have fought them if they didn't try beating you up."
"I was kind of scared, but you were so cool like those action scenes from the Kdramas I watched with Hyunjin!"
"I bet you fell for me right away when I treated your wound at the clinic." Minho raises his eyebrow with a smirk.
"It's just a scratch."
"Yeah, but I don't really like seeing you get hurt. Aren't I such a gentleman?"
I can't help but blush at his words, but I try not to let it faze me. I purse my lips and try to look confident. "Y-You're the one who thought I-I was pretty that day at the rooftop!"
"That's right." Minho raises our intertwined hands and kisses the back of mine. His thumb is drawing soft circles on my skin as he puts our hands back under our joined desk.
Okay, he wins!
Or maybe I do... My hand's the one he kissed after all.
Mr. Ho is eyeing the two of us sharply, that's why we decided to shut up. I don't want to get on his bad side since high school graduation is only a month away.
Time flies so fast. When I think about it, it's like it was just yesterday when I found out that 'badboy' Lee Minho would be my seatmate. Now he's the closest guy to me and I'm glad that we are where we are. I thought I would graduate high school without friends. Now I have a KDrama buddy, a little brother who cares for me, a shameless but bubbly meme supplier, and a genius friend who Felix and I always disappoint.
Minho's my starting point. Ever since he came, my life has become better. I wouldn't trade him for anything else. Even a fool knows that he's the best for me.
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I'm about to go to the bus stop with Minho when I see my cousin's car outside. He rolls down his window and waves at me.
I stop, which causes Minho to stop walking too. I blush at our intertwined hands, already sensing my cousin's teasing.
"Is something wrong?" Minho asks.
"My cousin is here to pick me up."
He looks around, but I whine and block his view before they could see each other.
"Okay, okay!" He laughs. "I'll see you tomorrow. Take care."
"See you tomorrow and take care too!" I smile as I watch him walk away.
"What are you hiding his face for? Is that 'catboy'?" My cousin grins as I enter the car. "Holding hands whilst walking, huh?"
"This is exactly why!" I glare at him despite my overheated cheeks.
"I bet your parents will be thrilled to hear about this when they come home later."
"You saw nothing!"
"He kinda looks familiar though..." He thinks deeply.
"Maybe on my phone wallpaper. It's the both of us."
"Maybe... Now I know why you talk about him like crazy. He's good-looking even from the back, handsome as hell."
I groan helplessly.
"Okay, I'll stop!" He laughs as I poke his side.
"Mum and Dad are coming home for real?"
"Yeah. Our grannies are finally healthy again, thank goodness, and they also heard about you fainting," he answers.
"I thought they're going to stay there until graduation. If I only knew that getting a fever would make them come home, I should've hung out with Jungwoo and the others sooner." I laugh. "You were right, they're exhausting but fun. I bet it would've been better if I had friends like them throughout my high school years so I wouldn't be such a loner. Right, Oppa?"
Yuta turns silent for a bit before he smiles at me apologetically. "Right. I'm sorry," he says and shakes his head. He focused on driving after that.
My phone dings as a message notification pops up.
Junguwu:
slr I just got my phone back
it's fine! I'll be there in 30 mins
our practise just finished so... haha
Y/n:
it's alright, I can wait
Junguwu:
okay
see yah! hehe :)
We reach the house and I immediately hop out of the car to greet my beloved Dori.
"Hello, baby," I coo and shower him with kisses, then I put him back down so he can eat. He's always hungry! I don't mind because the fatter he gets the cuter he is, but as always, moderation is key.
"What time are they arriving?"
"Maybe an hour from now," Yuta says.
It won't take Jungwoo and I an hour to talk, right?
I nod and put my shoes on. I take my totebag and put my phone and wallet inside just in case I get hungry on the way. I also need to buy treats for Dori.
"Where are you going?" he asks when he sees me securing my shoelaces into a double knot. I need to be sure because there's no Minho to catch me if I ever trip.
"I... just need to buy something," I tell him.
"Don't stay out too late."
"I won't!" I wave at him and immediately run outside so he can't ask more questions.
I don't want to lie to my cousin, but I don't know why I can't bring myself to tell him about the picture that Kun gave me. I want to know the whole deal first before I talk to him about it.
I sit on one of the swings whilst waiting for Jungwoo. The sun is already setting and it'll be dark in just a few minutes.
"Y/n!" Jungwoo pants as he sits at the swing beside me.
"Are you okay?" I ask and hand him a bottle of water. He takes it and gulps down the entire liquid.
"I'm okay now." He smiles.
Jungwoo smells freshly showered and his hair is still a bit damp as if he ran here. I suddenly feel bad for asking him to meet. He must be tired from practice, so I immediately pull out the picture given by Kun. The faster we finish talking, the sooner he can rest.
"Um... Kun gave me this when we hung out last time." His whole complexion suddenly turns pale upon seeing the photo. "Can you please tell me the truth? Have we met before?"
"Y/n..."
"It's just so weird. I just realised that I always remember moments that didn't even happen when I'm with you guys. I even dreamt about us playing on the playground back in the hometown I grew up in, but that's so impossible because we're still young there!" I laugh.
"It's nothing, don't mind it."
"How can that be nothing? My head will hurt then suddenly memories that I don't recall happening flashes in my mind. That's so weird, right?"
I look at Jungwoo when I don't hear him laughing with me. Instead, his face is full of guilt and his eyes are tearing up.
"Jungwoo, are you sure you're okay?"
"Y/n... They're right. I shouldn't have approached you again because I already knew that it'd be like this. I knew getting close to you was nonsense," he says, ticking something inside me.
"I shouldn't have befriended you in the first place if I knew that it'll be like this. Heck, I shouldn't have started this nonsense with you!"
Why are they always saying that?
"Why, Jungwoo? Because I'm a weak person who can't even stand up for myself?"
"No!"
"Is it because I'm always crying and you always had to save me because I'm your friend's cousin? I won't be like that anymore!"
"Y/n... please don't dig more. It's better that way."
"Don't meddle."
"Why do you always say that? Is something wrong with me?"
Jungwoo's gaze softens as he looks at me.
"Whenever I'm with you, I feel comfortable. I feel like I've known you for years, which is so weird because we just met. There's always deja vu with everything you do or say. Please enlighten me?"
Guilt is still evident on his face as I study him. He sighs and messes his hair.
"I don't know how I should say this, but yes, we've met before."
"How can I not remember it? I may be a little forgetful but it can't be that bad! Unless I hit my head too hard and got amnesia." I chuckle but Jungwoo turns even more serious.
My heartbeat accelerates and my throat dries up. No... That's absurd, right?
"Yes. You can't remember us because you suffered from dissociative amnesia, Moon Y/n."
I remember when I bumped into Jungwoo and Kun for the first time. They already knew my name not because of my nameplate but because they know me personally. Kun and the other's said I look different because they last saw me when we were just little. Ten reacts weirdly because he doesn't want to slip up.
"How..." My lips quiver as I look at him with wide eyes.
Jungwoo suddenly cries. He looks up to prevent his tears from falling but it just keeps streaming down.
"It's all my fault, Y/n." He kneels down in front of me and holds my hands.
"H-Hey, you'll hurt yourself! Get up!"
"No! I hurt you, Y/n. I'm so sorry for everything."
I start crying too as I hear Jungwoo sobbing in front of me.
"What do you mean?"
"Forgive me for being too selfish. I just want you to see me as someone strong and not the scaredy-cat Jungwoo. I didn't know joining a gang would backfire. They took you and you got harmed because of my selfishness. I destroyed our friendship because I was jealous." Jungwoo sobs.
My head hurts. It hurts so much but I can't remember anything about that.
"Who doesn't want to be your friend?" the tall boy asked as he walked over to us. "Only a fool wouldn't want to be with you!" he exclaimed, cheeks reddening.
I gave him a wide grin and muttered a small thanks. "You're always so nice to me, Jungwoo."
He grinned back. "Anytime, Y/n-- oh, I mean Sunny."
"Ow..." I clutch my head as it keeps hurting more and more.
"Y/n?!" Jungwoo looks at me with concern.
"It's been so long since you last invited us over," Kun says.
Yuta's face softens as he flops on the sofa.
"Well, the parents aren't home so I took the opportunity," he starts. "I realised that I'm being too doubtful about all of you. I know everyone makes mistakes, even me, so it's not right of me to stop you all from being friends."
"We obeyed you for almost four years. That's an awfully long time!" Ten whines. "Do you know how hard it is knowing that the person you really want to talk to is right there but we can't just cross that invisible line and do it? It's so sad seeing our friend be friendless."
"I know... Everything seems fine now and Jungwoo is less childish than before so I'm trusting you guys again. Just don't let history repeat itself."
Don't let history repeat itself.
How can I not notice that? I'm such a fool! The clues were right in front of me but I never suspected anything.
"Why did you keep it from me?" My voice cracks as I look at him.
"Y/n... I..."
"I thought we used to be friends?"
"Yes, but..."
"Jungwoo, how long have you known that I'm already here in Seoul?"
He avoids my eyes. "Since you moved here."
"But you didn't even try to approach me? How could you all hide this from me?!" I stand up as my whole body starts shaking.
I feel so betrayed.
"Y/n, it's for your own good. Your trauma--"
"Trauma? I can't even remember why I got amnesia in the first place!"
Tears just keep streaming down my face as I look at his helpless state. I don't care because I'm helpless too. I feel like an idiot! I don't even know myself.
"Don't come near me. I don't want to talk to you ever again!"
"Y/n... please..." his voice squeaks but I don't care. I left him at the park all alone, just like how they made me feel all this time.
Even with blurry vision, I ran back to the house. I need to know everything and my family are the only ones who can answer me.
I push the door open to be greeted by my cousin.
"Sis, aunt and uncle came earlier than expected!" He beams. "They're finally home-- what happened?!"
I just stare at him as another batch of tears stream down.
"Are you hurt?"
"I thought no secrets?"
His eyes widen. "Y/n..."
"How could you not tell me that I have amnesia? That I used to have friends? How could you keep everything from me?!"
My parents come out, hearing my scream. They look as shocked as my cousin upon seeing me angry with red eyes.
"Why are you two fighting? We just came home and this is what you'll greet us with?"
"Y/n knows," Yuta says, which made me angrier.
"All of you knew... All of you hid this from me... Why?!"
"Y/n... it's for your own good." My dad tries to console me but I'm not having it.
"This is my life and you all played with me..." I sink to the floor.
My mother kneels to my level and hugs me. She runs her hands up and down my back to calm me down. "Sweetie, we just want you to live normally without fear. You had PTSD... Do you know how much it broke my heart seeing you on that hospital bed? You looked so lifeless and I can't bear to think that my own daughter had to go through something so scary."
"But mum, I don't even remember how I got hurt. I don't remember anything aside from small memories and it makes me crazy... You said you want me to live normally?" I wipe my face and stand up. "I felt so friendless... I felt so alone... Is that what you wanted?"
I take a step back when the three of them try approaching me.
"I don't want to talk right now. I spent years living a lie... I didn't know what I want or who I want to be because I don't know myself. That's because you all lied!"
"Y/n! Let me explain," Yuta pleads.
"I don't want to be here with all of you. I don't want to hear anything from all of you!"
I see my Dori looking at me with his round and shiny eyes. He runs to me and nuzzles his body on my legs. At least there's still someone who won't lie to me.
I take him and look at my family for the last time before going out of the door and slamming it shut. I run and run until my legs give up. I don't know where to go. I don't care where I'll end up. I just want to get away as far as possible from all of them. All of the things I found out made me think about my life.
I was living a lie all this time.