C-49
I open the door sceptically. I take my shoes off and wear my inside slippers before entering... then I see my family. Mum and Dad are on the phone whilst my cousin is pacing back and forth in the living room.
"Mum."
They stand up upon hearing me. My mum crushes me in her hug and bombards me with questions.
"I was so worried! Where have you been? Are you hurt? Have you eaten yet?"
"Y/n, don't do that again. We almost called the police, your friends just came and barely stopped us. They said you're safe wherever you are," Dad says.
"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
Yuta runs to me and flicks my forehead. I pout at them and they all sigh upon seeing me unharmed. They pull me towards the sofa and they all sit in front of me.
"I'm sorry, sis," Yuta starts. "We shouldn't have kept it a secret, but we just did it for your own good."
My dad pats my head. "We lied to you because we love you. We saw how you suffered because of that incident. You couldn't sleep alone for days, you're so scared of the dark."
"After a while, you slowly recovered from your PTSD. But then you start to forget parts of your memory, including your childhood. You grew up thinking that you only had your cousin as a friend. We can't bring ourselves to tell you about it because we're afraid that your trauma might go back. We're so sorry, sweetie," Mum says.
I hug my mom and wipe her tears. I don't like it when my family cries because it hurts me too.
"It's okay, I understand now."
The rest of my family joins in a group hug.
"That's our Y/n." Yuta ruffles my hair.
"I remember Jungwoo and the others now, but I can't recall anything aside from them."
"Just them?"
I nod. "Am I forgetting something else? What was that incident by the way?"
"It's--"
"Car accident," Mum says so fast.
Yuta looks at my mother who accidentally cut him off. Both my parents look back at him. He sighs as he puts an arm over my shoulder. "You sneaked out with the guys to stargaze at the playground. There was a thug who caused a scene and you ran and got separated, then you got hit by a car in the process."
I understand now. That must've been really traumatic for a young kid.
"Promise me you won't hide something as big as this. Please don't lie to me again."
They all pause but eventually smile. "Promise."
That's enough for me to trust them again.
I've always been honest and I don't know what I'd feel if I get lied to again. I always try to understand everyone, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that if they keep on depriving me of the truth. I just want to know.
A person can only take so many lies.
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"Bestie-- mm!"
Seungmin slaps his hand over Felix's mouth to stop him from shouting here at the library. The three of us are grouped for English class again. We're just going to read whatever we want since the grades are mostly done because graduation is near.
"Can you tone it down?" Seungmin hisses as he goes back to reading his beloved book.
Felix rolls his eyes and sits beside me. "Don't mind him, it's the time of the month."
We both snicker but immediately shut up because of Seungmin's sharp look.
"So! Why are you and Minho-hyung absent yesterday?" He wiggles his eyebrows.
"Something happened at home so we went to the amusement park to unwind," I say, then get startled when he takes my wrist.
"The couple bracelets are back!" He looks genuinely amazed. "You should give me a reward because you're finally back together."
I hush him as I take out two boxes of snacks: Felix's favourites and Seungmin's beloved Hot Cheetos. I hand it to both of them and it seems to please our genius friend. It's from my cousin who bought me tons of food as a peace offering.
"You're such a rebel! I like it." Felix grins. There's a no-food-policy here at the library so we're eating our snacks very discreetly.
"Let's be rebels before we graduate." I chuckle.
"That's just for completion. Stop reading and let's hear Y/n's story!" Felix forces me into telling them what happened yesterday. Seungmin sighs frustratedly but still obliges.
I started from finding out about my amnesia, from fighting those thugs with Minho, to going to the amusement park, until I went home to resolve things with my family. Of course I left out the private details. Some may think that it's over sharing, but I'm just really comfortable with my friends and I trust them.
"That's like a whole clichéd book summarised in your life." Felix looks amazed once again. "But you're so cool on fighting those thugs. Small but terrible~"
"I actually like clichéd books," Seungmin comments. "A bit overrated and predictable but quite good."
"Ooh~" Felix smirks and nudges me.
"They're pretty cute actually," I agree.
Seungmin rolls his eyes and goes back to reading, but then Felix snatches his book away. "You're no fun! What are you even reading about?"
"Something that you don't have, oh wait..." he pauses and looks at me. He takes his book back and flips through the pages, then starts lecturing like a professor. "Cerebrum is the largest part of the brain. It performs functions like interpreting touch, vision, hearing, speech, reasoning, emotions, learning, and fine control of movement."
"So?" Felix looks confused.
"Don't you understand?" Seungmin sighs. "When Y/n got hit, her frontal lobe must've been the most affected part. See, it controls her personality, behaviour, judgement, speech, intelligence, problem solving and more!"
"We didn't ask..." Felix mutters but Seungmin still continues.
"Didn't you notice how she changed over the past months? It's like she got smarter, more focused, and more aware. She was always so clueless about stuff, even saying things out of context and using questionable terms. Then she suddenly improved. You must be remembering things at that point!"
I've never seen Seungmin so excited about something until now... and it involves Science.
We both stare at him and we can almost hear cricket sounds considering that the three of us are the only ones making noises in the room. I'm pretty sure the librarian would've kicked us out if we didn't have Seungmin with us.
"So that means I was so dumb back then?"
"It's not like that! Can you elaborate more on your experiences?"
"You should've taken a science course instead of taking pictures for college," Felix interrupts to shut Seungmin up.
The smart boy just rolls his eyes at the freckled one. "Photography is a form of art."
"Okay, cool!" Felix brings his hands up to say that he surrenders. "Let's just talk about something else and clearly not some nerd stuff. Don't you have to finish that thing Mr. Gong asked you to do?"
"Oh, yeah..." Seungmin takes a binder and fishes a document out. "I need to make sure the students' addresses are correct so the graduation invites would be sent to the right locations."
"It must be tough being tasked with stuff like that."
"He's used to it, he's a teacher's pet after all." Felix sticks his tongue out.
"Shut up." Seungmin sighs. "Anyway, should I put your home address or your dorm here?"
"Home address!" Felix exclaims. "I want my Mummy present when I receive that certificate with flying colours."
"Whatever." The spectacled boy turns to me. "How about you, Y/n? It says here that you're from Gimpo. Want me to update?"
"Yes, thanks. I haven't visited there in four years anyway."
"Okay done-- oh." He chuckles as he reads the paper. "Look at you matching with Lee Minho even here."
"Hmm?"
"His hometown is Gimpo too."
"Oh." I can't help my shock. We never really came to the topic of addresses so I never got to ask.
"Look at that coincidence. Even your address ships you." Felix is once again amazed.
I can't help but laugh at him. Chan is in trouble of losing his spot as our number one relationship meddler with Felix around.
We went back to our homeroom after a while and spent the remaining hours with several subjects. Minho is complaining about one of his studymates as we walk to the gates.
"That Canadian guy laughs at everything. I shouldn't have acted nice so he'd just shut up." He groans.
"Minhyung is just a really happy kid! It's nice seeing you interact with our classmates, that way they won't think of you so badly."
"Who says I care about what they think of me?" He scoffs.
Says the one who's trying to lessen his intimidating poker face to appear more approachable.
"My cousin's going to pick me up today," I inform him as we stop at the waiting shed.
"He looks familiar..."
"So you did see him last time!" I purse my lips. "He's a trainee at SME and practically lived here in Seoul, but he's actually from Japan."
"He's a what?" His brow shoots up.
"A Japanese trainee. All of my childhood friends are trainees too. Did you know that he only visited every break in our hometown? It must've been hard being an idol."
We both sit at the bench whilst waiting for my ride home. I suddenly remembered what we talked about at the library.
"Min, did you transfer from Gimpo? You said you didn't grow up here in Seoul."
He nods. "What about it?"
"What a coincidence... I grew up in Gimpo too!"
He frowns as he turns his whole body to face me. "Really? Which school did you attend? Mine's at..."
"Me too!" I chuckle in delight. "Who would've thought? I wonder if we ever saw each other but just forgot!"
Minho's mouth gapes, then he holds my shoulders so we're directly face to face.
"You said you used to wear glasses, right?"
I nod. "I had LASIK before I transferred here in 9th grade."
My eyes widen as he cups my face and stares at me intently, as if checking every angle. He looks so serious with furrowed brows.
"What's going on?"
"Can I... see a picture of you with glasses on?"
"Oh." Now it's my time to frown. I think I know what he's talking about. I remove his hands from my face as I feel a little sulky inside.
"Shit..." He blinks repeatedly as if he's getting out of a trance. "I didn't mean it like that."
"It's fine. I know we had similar names, but can you please not compare us? I feel bad having this petty feeling with me whenever she's mentioned. I know I'm being irrational... but I'm just a girl, you know?"
"Okay," he simply says.
"Just okay?"
"What else should I say?" He tilts his head cluelessly.
"That we're not similar at all? A little assurance would do..." I mumble.
"But the more I think about it, you're really similar... The way you look and act, you're just older. You're both persistent. I remember when she kept on saying that we should be friends until I just gave in because she's really adamant. You're both sincere and kind, saying that I'm not a bad guy. I wonder how she is right now. Do you think she already forgot about me? I kind of miss her... Did you know that she completed my childhood in just a span of a month? I don't know how she did it but I was really happy that time."
I just stare at him as he reminisces. I don't mind him being talkative, but why does it always have to be about her? I wish he'd talk about me like that too. I wish he can say that I'm a part of his life without hesitation, without me convincing him that I won't ever leave.
"I... I guess that's what made her special."
I should be glad because Minho is sharing a part of him with me. I should be glad that he's comfortable telling me about his past... but I also think that I'm allowed to get jealous sometimes.
He stops talking when I stand up. "What is it?"
"My cousin's here."
He looks at me, frowning a little as I move my hands before he could touch it.
"Bye," I say and hurriedly enter the car without looking back.
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"Y/n!"
I hide behind my cousin as the guys collectively stand up from the sofa upon seeing our return. They all have expectant gazes as they look at me, and I suddenly don't know how to act.
"Easy, kids. Take it slow and don't scare her off." Yuta pushes me forward and makes me sit in front of them. "I'll prepare snacks in the kitchen," he says and pats my shoulder before disappearing.
There's an awkward silence as I exchange glances with them. I can almost hear the sound of the birds and nature from the open window.
"How are you? We're glad you came back safely." Kun decides to save us from the awkwardness. "I shouldn't have given you the picture. Yuta-hyung informed us that you fainted."
"I'm fine... it's fine." I sigh. "Thank you for giving me the picture. If you didn't, I wouldn't know the truth. It did more good than bad."
Guilt paints across their faces.
Ten scratches his nape as he looks a little embarrassed. "I-I'm the one who nicknamed you, the reason is lame so just forget it. I just want to say I'm deeply sorry for hiding it from you. Your parents just thought it's better if we stay away so we had no choice because we're the ones at fault for you getting amnesia anyway."
Before Jungwoo could start, I beat him to it. "I remember things now, but only short moments with you guys. I can't really recall anything aside from that, so maybe you can help me?"
They just stare at me, as if expecting me to lash out at them. I slowly smile.
"I forgive you. I don't like hating people, you should know that because we used to be close."
They release deep breaths and relax on their seats. Their tensed postures are now replaced with sheepish grins.
"Ah! I thought we're going to say our final goodbye to you today!" Ten exclaims.
I shake my head and pat Jungwoo's back because he's the nearest one. His face lights up. "Just don't hide something as important as that again. Hiding the truth is not really different from lying."
"Thank you, Y/n. I thought we can never be friends again."
"Who doesn't want to be your friend? Only a fool wouldn't want to be with you." I copy him.
He chuckles at my attempt at mimicking his voice. "You remember that? It's embarrassing."
My eyes travel to all of them. These guys are my friends... I still can't believe it.
"They told me I got hit by a car because a thug caused a scene when we sneaked out to stargaze at the playground... I remember Jungwoo saying something about a gang last time. That thug must've been from the gang. Is that why my parents got mad at you guys?"
They all frown and look at each other.
"You still don't remember the reason?" Ten asks.
I shake my head. "I think that's why my trauma isn't triggered, because I can't remember it."
"Car accident, huh? Who told you that?" Kun frowns.
"Her parents." Yuta reappears from the kitchen with snacks. He puts them on the table and goes into a staring contest with the guys. It's as if they're talking through telepathy, he looks at them apologetically.
"What's going on?"
Ten frowns. "What did you tell Su--"
"Y/n," Yuta says, but he's looking at Ten. The latter sighs and looks away.
"Yes, what?" I ask again.
Yuta laughs a little. "Nothing. Can you get the board games from my room? It'll be better if we have something to play! I'll keep your visitors entertained for the meantime."
"Okay."
I go upstairs to get what my cousin asks for. Before that, I change into comfortable clothes in my room first and check on my beloved cat. Dori goes with me to Yuta's room. I rummage through his desk but I can't find the board games.
"Dori, help me find it," I whine but he just lays on the bed, watching me pace back and forth through every drawer. He's like his twin, always napping!
It's been almost ten minutes but I haven't found one. Just then, Dori decides to be a good boy and helps me. He leaps on the shelf where I can't reach and there I find the stuff I'm looking for.
I'm about to jump it when I hear a knock and the door opens. Jungwoo comes in.
"Hyung told me to help you," he says.
"Thanks a lot, I can't reach it." I point to the board games. He takes it easily since he's so blessed with height. I'm jealous!
"You must've figured out about my silly feelings. I hope you won't be awkward with me. I'm moving on so don't feel bad," he says softly as we walk down the stairs.
"Eh? Of course," I reply even though I'm confused. It must be because he missed me so much since we were so close. I nod my head and smile at him. "I'm moving on from the past too. Let's be friends again with no awkwardness!" I put my hand up for a high-five.
"Huh? Oh, that kind of moving-on." He laughs and smacks his hand against mine.
"Jungwoo, is it really just me and the four of you? I'm not sure but there's always this blurry guy that I keep seeing whenever I remember things."
He halts. "I'm not... sure."
"Really?"
He gives me a small smile and slowly nods.
We both continue downstairs. Maybe that boy was only a part of my dreams and I just mistook him as one of my forgotten memories.
"Loser will clean up!"
I laugh with Kun as we both list down scores of the guys who are playing Scrabble. They look serious, clearly hating the idea of cleaning the mess that we created.
"I don't like this game." Ten whines. "Oops, my hand slipped."
"You little piece of shi--"
Yuta runs after Ten when the latter messes with the words scattered on the board. Kun shakes his head as the rest joins the brawling boys. He looks genuinely stressed when they create more mess.
"Stop it, you childish pricks!"
This feels... nice. Maybe they could be worth it.