Chapter 56: C-54

C-54

"Noona, are you dead?"

I hear someone sniffling beside me, then I feel a damp sensation on my cheeks.

"Please wakey-wakey."

My eyes flutter open and the sight of a tear-stricken puffy face welcomes me. His eyes widen and he starts screaming like a dolphin, almost crushing me in a hug.

"It worked! My kiss woke noona!"

I wince at the forceful impact. Panic rises in my system when I can't move my left arm to push the boy who's hurting me with his hug rather than giving comfort.

"Innie, what are you doing here?"

"Noona, I saw the stickman spidey hit you!"

"Innie--"

"I will catch him and feed him to the big bad wolf!"

"Jeongin--"

"So ayu Sleeping Beauty or Snow White? Because my magic kiss healed you."

"Jisoos Chris-- Why are you choking her, Jeongin?!"

I wheeze for air when I'm finally free from Jeongin's grip. My body feels so sore all over! I just woke up but I'm already tired.

My family emerges from the door. Yuta helps me sit up and I nervously inspect my left arm because I can't feel it. To my relief, it's still there.

"Are you alright?"

I stop worrying about my arm when I hear their question. I look around the room and try to suppress a bitter laugh.

I'm on a hospital bed with IVs pricked to my veins. My left arm is bandaged and unmoving and my whole body feels weak from head to toe.

Yes! I'm perfectly alright.

"Y/n, we're so sorry about everything..."

Their voices drift off and I just stare at them as they talk. It's like my ears blocked out whatever apology they're saying because it had enough.

I remember everything now. From the day my bad eyesight caused me to meet the boy who I'd never thought would hurt me this much, until the night where he decided to end us and I almost died... literally.

I'm so pathetic. Back then and until now, I'm always running wherever he goes. I always chase after his footsteps. I always try to get his attention. I'm so shameless and shameful at the same time.

I didn't know I was already crying until breathing became harder.

"Y/n... Please talk to us," Dad pleads. "Tell us where it hurts so we can help you."

"What can we do, sweetie? We'll do everything... Anything you want." Mum hugs me.

I try holding my sobs but they still manage to escape. My heart feels so heavy, I didn't know I could feel so bad like this.

"You were out for two days. We're so scared you won't wake up," Yuta says.

"Is that true?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just making sure you're not lying to me again."

"Y/n!" My mum starts crying at what I said. "Why would you say that?"

"You promised you won't lie to me again, but you broke it in the same breath!"

My cousin tries to hug me but I push him away. "Please don't be like this... Let us explain."

I breathe deeply to regulate my fast heartbeat. Why am I such a crybaby? I hate it! I hate how they keep lying to me! I hate how gullible I am! I hate trying to justify their actions even when it hurts me! I hate all of them... and I hate that I don't mean it.

"Save it." I wipe my tears with my free hand. "Just leave me alone..."

"Let's give her some space..." My dad kisses my head before guiding them out the door.

I sigh in relief once the door finally closes. I want to be selfish for a while. It's okay to be selfish sometimes, right? I just need to be alone.

"Noona--"

"Oh my god!"

I'm startled when a little boy appears from under my bed. He climbs next to me with misty eyes.

"Donchu want me here?" He pouts.

"Of course I do! I'm just shocked. When did you arrive?"

"Yesterday coz there's no school anymore. I can live in your room again! We can watch Peppa Pig all day!"

"I'm sorry, Innie. I don't think Noona can play with you. I need to heal first to regain my energy."

He sulks as he looks at my bandaged and dishevelled state. He peppers my left arm with kisses and pouts when nothing happens.

"My magic kiss expired." He looks at me like he thought of a good idea. "Let's watch ASMR so we can sleep all day and heal!"

My heart flutters at my baby cousin's sweetness. How I wish I could get some of his innocence.

I ruffle his hair and pinch his cheeks. "You're so cute!"

He whines and pushes my hand. "I know."

I giggle at his smug face. "You won't ever lie to Noona, right?"

He nods innocently, then he frowns as if remembering something. "I have gift!" He opens his bag and my eyes widen upon seeing what's inside.

"Dori!"

I hug my cat and look at Jeongin questioningly. He smiles sheepishly with his dimples appearing and just like that, he's forgiven.

"We both mishyu."

I coo and pull him in a hug. Now that I have both of my babies with me, I'm starting to feel better.

"Noona?"

"Hmm?"

"I saw a boy who looks like Dori outside."

I frown as I look at him. "Who?"

"Dunno. He's also there yesterday when you're still dead. He doesn't want to go in when I asked him but he keeps coming back!" Jeongin shakes his head. "Weirdo."

A boy who looks like Dori...

I feel a pang in my chest as I stare at the door. Why can't he go in here? Is he that guilty to come and see me?

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Yuta helped me up the stairs to my room even when I told them that I can perfectly walk on my own. Jeongin was already jumping up and down on muddy puddles--I mean my bed, when we entered. For some reason, his parents always send him over whenever he gets a nightmare about his classmate's pet spider so now we're roomies again.

"Thanks..." I mumble.

"Anytime. Just call us when you need something."

I just got discharged earlier after being monitored for three days. My left arm is in a sling and I have a few scratches here and there but the rest of my body is fine. I was told that my arm will take about three weeks to heal, and my family is taking it quite seriously.

It's suddenly so awkward. I don't know what to do and how to act around the people I love. Remembering everything makes me feel a bit distant and hostile. If only they listened to me back then... If only they didn't shut me off... If only they trusted me enough with my choices...

I smile softly when I see Jeongin sleeping with Dori squished in his tiny hands. He said we'll watch ASMR but here he is already snoring away.

I'm putting my baby cousin's toys away when I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror. There's a healing gash on my cheek, a small cut on my lower lip, and then there's my fringe. I used to have a really thick one... four years ago.

I'm Sunny. I really am Sunny. I'm so dumb and naïve for even getting jealous of her. We were the same person all along.

I look around my room. I remember how they locked me up when I tried telling them that Jungwoo was lying. I remember how they refused to listen to me.

I cannot breathe again.

"Where are you going?" My mum asks as I descend down the stairs.

"Somewhere."

"Somewhere?" She frowns and blocks my path. "Is that how you're supposed to answer to your parents?"

I sigh as I face all of them. "I'm sorry... I just don't want to be inside this house right now. I need some fresh air."

"You can't leave until you're healed. Yuta, take her back to her room."

My heart drops.

"No! You're going to lock me up again?"

"Y/n..." Dad warns. "Just listen to your mother."

I laugh sarcastically. "Listen? Big word."

"Sis--"

"No! All I can think about was that day you refused to listen to me and didn't give me a chance to explain! Why is it selfish when I do it?" I swallow the lump in my throat. "It's so suffocating to be around any of you right now and I need to breathe! You can't even let me do that?"

I run out of the door and fumble to open the gates with my only free hand. I kick it in frustration when it won't budge.

"Hey, you'll hurt yourself!" Jisung appears and helps me open it.

"Thank you..."

"No problem. Wait, where are you going?" he asks when I start walking away. He runs to me and matches his pace with mine.

"Anywhere away from here."

"Oh." He seems shocked by my bitter answer. "Is something wrong?"

"It's just..." I pout. "You already know what's up with my family..."

"Well, yeah." He scratches his nape. "But you're injured so you shouldn't go out on your own. What if something bad happens?"

"I know, but I just want to go somewhere where I won't remember anything for a while... I'm sorry you had to see me like this. It's just really frustrating to be hit in the face with forgotten memories all at once," I whine.

"Don't worry. I'm here for you." His eyes widen. "I mean I-I was on the way to visit you so might as well go with you today."

"Thank you, Jisung..." I give him a small smile and that's when I notice him carrying a guitar case. "Do you play?"

"Just a little." He blushes. "Hey... Do you want to go somewhere nice with me?"

I nod and he gently tugs on my bag to lead the way.

Everything was so grim earlier, but the sun finally showed up when Jisung came.

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"Here you go." He gives me my drink as we sit beside each other on the bench.

Jisung brought me to a street near the cafes, clubs, and shopping centre where a lot of street performers are gathered. A lot of people are just walking by, studying away with their caffeine, bar hopping, going store to store to window shop, or admiring the buskers as they do all at once.

"Almost four years in the city and I'm only seeing this now."

"Sometimes I go here just to people-watch. It might sound creepy but it's quite calming, you know?"

"It actually feels somewhat comfy here. Thanks, Han."

"I'm glad you like it. I found this when I was strolling around trying to move on from my unrequited--" His eyes widen. "I-I mean I liked that mini stage setup over there a lot, that's why I keep coming back. You can just go up there and sing your heart out and no one would care."

I giggle. "I didn't know you sang. I bet you're good at it."

"Just a little." He smiles shyly. "So, are you calming down?"

I sigh and sip on my chocolate milk sadly. "Yeah..."

"I know I haven't been a good friend lately, always busy and all that, but remember that I'm just always next door. You can tell me anything."

"It's okay, I know you have your own problems to deal with. Just because we don't always hangout doesn't mean you're any less special..."

"T-Thank you for saying that." He smiles as his cheeks redden. "You'll always be special to me too... So, ready to let it out?"

"I used to have friends, there were four of them..." I start and tell him everything until I feel that I've said enough.

I'm softly sniffling by the end of it and when I look at him, he's smiling a little. I pout and he seems to realise that I'm done talking that's why he clears his throat and tries to look serious.

"Is something funny?"

"You were just whining with this little pout and it's so... I mean it's very, uh... C-Can you repeat?"

"Did you even understand what I was saying?" He smiles sheepishly and I sigh before repeating the story. When I'm done, I wait for his reaction.

"Oh, wow." He looks dazed for a moment. "That's messed up."

"I know... I don't know what to do with all of the memories I remembered."

"You're better than me because if that happened to me I will not let them off so easily! How dare they do that to you?! How could they explain it?! I would hold a grudge for the rest of my life and-- oh, sorry. I got carried away." He scratches his nape after getting angry on my behalf.

I smile at his sympathy. "I want to understand them... It's just that they lied to me repeatedly. That's what I don't understand. They shouldn't have promised something if they'll just break it."

"That's the problem with promises. Sometimes they're made to be broken."

I look back at Jisung as I swirl my watered-down drink. "Did you ever lie to me? I hate it when people do it without a good reason."

His eyes widen. "You'll h-hate me?"

I squint my eyes at him.

"Hey! I've never lied to you!"

"Is there something you want to tell me then? Because hiding something important is just as bad."

He scratches his nape. "You're not supposed to know it..."

I stare at him curiously. "What is it?"

"Don't be awkward, okay? Here goes nothing." He closes his eyes and breathes deeply. "IhaveabigcrushonyoubutI'mtryingtomoveonsopleasestopbeingcutebecauseyou'remakingitsohardformetonotgetcloseandwishyouback."

"Huh?" I tilt my head. "Are you a rapper?"

He opens one of his eyes to see my reaction before opening the other one too. All he sees is a confused face because I didn't understand a thing.

"Oh, I get it!" My lips part in awe as I nod. "I thought you're a singer but you're actually a rapper? Don't worry, I will keep your secret."

"What..." He blinks, and then he groans as his lips curve up in amusement. "You're so, you're really just so, ugh! How can I move on at this point?"

"Yeah, it's your turn!" I point to the mini-stage when the performer bows. "You should definitely move before someone cuts in line."

He chuckles softly. "How about I play a song then?"

"Why not a rap?"

"Another time. I'm singing this one for someone special."

"Hmm... Fine!"

He smiles at me before taking out a caramel-coloured guitar and going to the mini stage.

"J.One, two, three," he tests the microphone. "Yeah, it's me again. I'll play this song for the cutest neighbour anyone could ask for." He looks at me and I give him two thumbs up in support.

"Your girl?" A guy asks.

"Just a friend." Jisung looks down.

"Aw!" They cheer sadly with his reply and Jisung just chuckles.

"I won't make this long. It's Home by Michael Bublé. Please enjoy."

He clears his throat and strums on his guitar. A calming tune is heard and I feel myself relaxing and forgetting all my stress from the past days.

Another summer day

Has come and gone away

In Paris and Rome

But I wanna go home

I wish you know it

May be surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Just wanna go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

We all give a round of applause when he finishes singing. I knew Jisung would be good but I didn't expect his voice to be that amazing!

He smiles and thanks us before going back to our seat.

"From now on, I'll say goodbye to my silly feelings. Promise."

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I almost forgot that I'm not a five-year-old and there's still a few weeks of school left for me. I wince every now and then whilst putting my uniform on. Jeongin helps me wear my sling so my left arm isn't just dangling lifelessly.

"I will take care of Dori. Donchu worry, Noona!" He smiles with his dimples popping out.

I'm eating breakfast and it's so weird because my whole family is present. They're even monitoring my food intake now.

"Y/n, your friends came here yesterday."

I stop eating. "I don't want to see them."

My dad sighs and puts down his utensils. "Give them a chance, sweetie."

"But I'm not ready... They lied to me, dad."

"Because we told them to..."

"Why? Why do you keep hiding things from me? I'm not a child anymore."

"You won't be able to understand it because you're not a mother!"

"It's my life, mum!"

"We just did what's best for you!"

"I don't think it's the right time to talk about this," Yuta interrupts before the conversation heats up. "I'll drive her to school now. She needs to go."

I stand up and take my bag. "I can go on my own."

I grab my medication and finish the whole cup of water. My eyes water as I almost gagged because I can't really take pills, but I stubbornly force myself to swallow, then I run out of the house and only stop until I reach the bus stop.

I sigh in relief once I finally escape the awkward atmosphere, only for goosebumps to rise in my skin when I feel eyes on me. I cautiously stand up and walk away. My heart thumps loudly when I hear footsteps following me. I quicken my pace but a boy goes past me and spreads his arms to block my path.

"Ah!"

"Hello, Sunny!"

I breathe deeply to regulate my fast heartbeat. I will definitely have a heart attack one of these days!

"What are you doing here?"

"We figured you'd ignore us so I thought I'd just surprise you." Ten grinned.

"Well, you're right. I don't want to see any of you."

He stops me again when I attempt to walk away. "Just listen to me first! We don't want to force you into talking to us but please let us walk with you to school so we'll know that you're safe."

"Who would be making me unsafe?"

"Uh..." He scratches his nape. "Just someone from the past who can't move on... Anyway! Look at your injury. You shouldn't be going alone. Just please let us walk you to school so my soul will be in peace."

"Who's someone?"

He sighs. "I'm not keeping it from you, but I'm not in the position to tell or else you'd feel betrayed again. I'm sorry... For now, can we walk you to school so we'll be sure that you're safe? Pretty please?"

I pout. "Okay..."

Ten beams and we start walking back to the bus stop. "By the way, this is Johnny. Kun and Jungwoo's schedules are full so I had no choice but to tag this one along."

I look at the tall boy who's sipping on his americano and he nods at me in acknowledgment. "So this is the Y/n they've been going crazy for." My face flushes when he winks playfully.

"Don't you have practice today? Won't you be late?" I ask since I know how early they start practising and how exhausting it is... but I'm not concerned or whatever!

"Don't worry, we won't," Ten assures me.

"Won't you get tired faster?"

"It's already my third cup of coffee and I feel as alive as I can be," Johnny says.

"Aren't you gonna palpitate with that?"

He chuckles. "Nope! Hey, do you want to hear the story of how my dad discovered coffee?" he asks out of nowhere.

I just nod my head because that is so random?

"My dad knew I liked beans so, like, one day he was just playing with beans and he dropped it, then he dropped the rock and then it slid. Hot water starts falling and then... coffee!"

"How is that possible? Where did the rock and hot water come from?"

He sips on his drink and shrugs. "Not my problem."

I press my lips into a thin line when I suddenly find myself enjoying their little stories... just a bit! I shake my head and decide to ignore them for the whole ride to school. I'm still mad. I mutter a small thanks as we arrive, walking to the gates mindlessly.

"Ow--"

"What the fu--" The boy stops mid-curse when he turns to me.

"I'm sorry." I bow a little and look at him in concern because it seems like he froze. "Did I hurt you?"

He shakes his head so fast with a still-gaping mouth.

"Thank goodness. Excuse me then," I say and start walking away.

A guy thankfully comes and pulls him out of his daze.

"Are you fvcking serious? You shouldn't go to an enemy's lair unarmed! Let's go before he sees you. Come on, B--" The tall guy's voice trails off as he scolds and pulls the boy who wouldn't stop staring.

People are so weird nowadays.

"What... happened to you?" Seungmin looks at me in worry as we arrive at the same time. He opens the door for me and lets me enter first.

"It's nothing."

He scoffs. "Yeah, absolutely."

"I'll tell you next time. Can you please hold Felix back? I can't deal with his energy today," I tell him when I see Felix's questioning wide eyes at the other end of the room.

Seungmin nods and pats my shoulder. "Don't worry, I got you."

I thank Seungmin and finally sit down, trying to avoid the astonished faces of the whole class. I get them because it's not everyday that you'll see an injured classmate, but it makes me so self-conscious!

Good thing that out of the curious eyes on me, the owner of the desk beside mine isn't one of them. It seems like he isn't here yet. I haven't seen him since that fateful day at the cafe... but I'm not really looking for him, just to be clear.

When the rehearsal time for the graduation march came, we all went to the event hall. It wasn't that strenuous but the stares I'm getting drained my energy.

Life lesson: Avoid near-death experiences especially when you're a shy person, because it will lead to a guaranteed death with all the attention you'd get.

My teachers might have felt bad so they sent me to the clinic to rest for the remainder of the day. Even Mr. Ho and Ms. Bi gave me sympathetic nods.

I'm feeding my cats in AdorableHome home to pass time when my thoughts change to Dori... and the co-owner. I groan and turn my phone off. I'm just curious because I haven't seen him since the accident. It's not like I want to see him! It seems like he doesn't really care about me at all because he didn't even try to visit. I'm not hurt or anything, just saying.

I'm contemplating life's meaning when the door flies open and reveals the boy who was just intruding in my mind. His eyes are wide as they scan the whole room, then he lets out a big sigh when he finally spots me. He walks over and pulls me into a hug so gently that I barely move.

"Good, you're okay..."

My heart is beating so fast.

He releases me and checks my body from head to toe, brows furrowing at the sight of my bandaged arm. "Does it hurt? Shit, of course, yes. I mean was it hurting too much? I'll take you back to the hospital right now--"

"N-No..." I look away. "I was just resting. W-What are you doing here anyway?"

He bites his lower lip and looks down. "I'm sorry, I've been busy dealing with the incident."

That must've been why he didn't come and see me last time! Not that I care.

"Well, I'm fine now..."

"You woke up and got discharged and no one even told me--" He groans as if he realises something. "...Jungwoo."

He reaches out and gently cups my face. I wince as he grazes the cut on my lip. "I'm sorry..." His voice is so soft as his lips touch my temples.

I bite the inside of my cheeks when my lips start to wobble. He looks so concerned and I almost fell for it. No... I shouldn't be frail. I shouldn't make it easy for them to fool me again... I look away to stop myself from falling for his act. All of the times he pushed me away came back and hit me. My head heats up when I remember what he said.

He said I'm annoying. He said I'm pathetic. He said he doesn't like being with me. Okay then... I'll give him just what he asked for.

"Don't touch me." I swat his hands off me.

"Y/n..." His lips part and he almost looks hurt.

I glare and walk past him, out of the room. I can't bear to be in the same place with him but he seems to not get it because he follows afterwards.

"Leave me alone, Minho," I say his name bitterly.

"Y/n, please..."

"Do you think that I already forgot about everything? I remember it all now. Do you think that I can just forgive you for lying and pushing me away?"

His jaw drops and he looks so helpless. "I can explain."

I scoff. "I know. I even begged for it, but what did you do?"

"P-Please, Y/n..." Minho's voice wavers.

He just walked away from me that night. I looked so pathetic begging for him to stay... but he just walked away.

"Stop."

"I have my reasons and all I'm asking is for you to listen. Give me some of your time so I can fix us. Please? Just a little bit of time for us..."

My ears seem to block out his plea and I feel nothing but anger. How dare he say that when he didn't do the same to me?

I laugh dryly. "As far as I know, it's not my responsibility to make time for you. Did you forget? We're not together, Minho. There's no us."

Then I walk away, just like he did.

I used to do stupid things just to get his attention... Now, it's time for him to beg for mine.

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Fyi, that performance of Home by Michael Bublé is real. It's one of my favourite Han covers and I suggest you go and check it out!

Totally irrelevant to the story but I just want you to see this pic I've been obsessing over for the past few days.

Can you tell that I'm in a Han Jisung mood yet or not? He's just been extra attractive lately! Lowkey wanna write something about him now lol.