I strolled through the nearly empty halls of the school building, enjoying the peace and stillness in the late afternoon air. The sun's golden rays seeped through the high windows and sneaked across the grainy, gray, quartz flooring, highlighting the school's brown-lettered emblems crafted within the floors of almost every hall.
It aided in my delusions of being the center of my story by adding a surreal glow to the little skin exposure I had allowed today. It also served as the gateway to my imagination and I had taken it upon myself to humor it's latest concoction.
Spy Hopscotch was the name; a game where I hopped from one lettered-flooring to the other, all while pretending the sun rays were deadly lasers. It served as a distraction from my impending screw up when I audition for the part of Cassidy.
Behind me, hands tucked in his pockets and halting every other second to keep from bumping into me, Justin's silence spoke volumes on my game play. He had been eerily quiet today, making not one remark against my multiple fails at memorizing my lines, so when he suddenly spoke, it startled me and I nearly tripped over my own two feet.
"You do know I have a job to get to, right?"
"Whatever." I muttered over my shoulder as I regained my balance. For a theater kid, he's such a wet blanket. "You're just jealous of my super awesome ninja skills."
I twirled around the light, glancing back to make sure he was still behind me. The corner of his eyes creased in exhaustion as he brought his fisted hands over his mouth and broke the world record for yawning.
Not a moment later, I involuntarily copied the action.
I was hesitant to askâcomforting people wasn't my strong suit and Justin's mood was already sour enoughâyet I pushed my nerves back down, clasped my hands and silenced the warning bells in my head to mind my own and leave him to his.
I took a leaf out of Mrs. Nosyton's book.
"Are you okay?"
Justin yawned again, this time coming up beside me.
"Just don't forget about our deal, alright?" Placing his hand on my shoulder, he pulled me into the light, totally crashing my game. "I'm counting on you, Harley. Take this seriously."
My strained smile wavered at his words. My feet felt as heavy as bricks, my mind even more so.
He just doesn't get it.
It doesn't matter how much I study my lines or work on my acting, I'll never be chosen for anything worthwhile. I'm only the mascot because I'm a troubled kid. It's a punishment, not an honor. He picked the wrong girl to market him to the public.
This is too much pressure for one person. If I don't get this part, then I would have failed him. All his efforts, his hard work up to this point, it would all have been for nothing.
All because of a stupid hedgehog.
"I'm doing the best I can." I forced out weakly. "But I'm not cut out for this, Justin. Maybe Riley or Catherine could helpâ"
"See, that's your problem." He scoffed, shutting me up with one look. His exhale as he drew back hurt more than words ever could.Or so I thought. "See you on Monday. But if you're going to be a downer all through, then don't bother showing. Some of us actually want to do something with our lives."
I couldn't string together a simple sentence after that. My eyes stung as he walked away, with zero thought as to the impact of his words.
It's people like him that make me want to commit. What's his problem anyway? He acts like I owe it to the world to behave a certain way.
It's not like I want the part. It's not like I had planned on being around for that long. It's not my fault that life is so unfair.
So why am I getting roped into this?
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I slammed my now partially-damaged locker shut and grabbed the necessary books I needed that I was at least going to pretend to open at home since today marked the last day of school anyway.
Of this week.
School would definitely continue on Monday. Even if aliens were to invade our planet, Principal Hemsher would still insist that on and on we all better remain going like the wheels on a bus.
He had also decided to keep his ugly dog on a leash in his office so I was free to roam the halls as much as I wanted without fear of a tiny little ball of fur running up to me and causing me to run a full marathon through the courtyard.
Next week, chaos will ensue. The chaos in question being the center of Hero's focus. Riley will be back and I...well, I'm screwed big time.
As merciless as she is, it scares me what she'll do to me when she finds out I've been touching on her property. To her, that's exactly what my friendly, far from home, insomniac is: Property of Riley.
And I, being the idiot that I am, had spread my hedgehog weirdness onto him. Even if her minions put a cap on it about Hero's sudden interest towards me, the habits he had picked up from me would be a dead giveaway.
With my energy reserve in full use, I slugged out of the changing room, suited up in the symbol of my murder tendency; my hedgehog costume fit snugly on me.
RIP, little lizard. At least you didn't have to deal with the heat from this thing.
It was like a furnace, leaving me no choice but to carry the hedgehog head in my hands and show others the weirdo behind the mask. My true form wasn't much to brag about. I was more confident in the costume.
But it's so hot...
My destination was the gym. I moved with purpose despite the growing anxiety of having so many judgmental eyes on me. This time, I won't be depending on my costume to keep me hidden. They were all too eager to witness me spiral out of control.
The freak list being put down had them all on edge. They needed some kind of stone to throw at me before I even got the courage to fly.
At least they hadn't chewed me up and spat me out about it. Or maybe they just didn't want to upset Catherine seeing as she was the real reason they had put it down.
Her clear message on the media had them running to delete their comments and some even went as far as to report the page. It was hard to hide the emotions bursting out of my chest while Hero babbled on about it. For a quiet kid, he's been really chatty as of late. More than I've ever seen him.
The page went down within an hour of her post. I have no clue where she stands now with Riley but I know helping me did numbers on their friendship. I can tell whenever our eyes meet. Catherine wasn't the type to express any emotion, she hid hers well. Then again, she did have to deal with Riley 24/7 so I think I can understand her disposition towards displaying emotions.
Her sacrifice had led to my bullies cutting me some slack. I've made it a habit to silence the voices in my head and stutter out an inaudible thank you when our eyes meet. That signals the end of our wordless conversation.
Everybody was so excited about the "Hallowfest-ivities"âyeah, that's what they're going withâ that The Populars were organizing, so not many people paid me much mind this week apart from the really bored ones and those that craved to be feared.
They couldn't do anything of a large scale to me, though. Hero was almost always with me. Classes. Breaks. He even asked when we could hang at my place again. I used the auditions as an excuse to spare both of us even more unwanted rumors.
My lunchtimes were occupied by Justin, ever the hard worker. Justin's such a mood killer. No wonder people avoid him so much.
Hero cheered me up some by sticking by my side throughout. He even accompanied me to the restroom. I haven't taken the number two at school all week because of him. We had grown closer. So much so that rumors of us seeing each other had started fluctuating through the school's gossip mail. I have no clue how to make this die out.
I had prepared myself for the moment he'd abandon me after he had discovered the gossip, but he stuck by me and, in regards to the rumors, seemed to be in a world of his own. I didn't know what to make of his strange behavior but, even knowing, I wouldn't change a thing. I didn't try to break him out of his comfort bubble as he was now becoming mine.
Since they couldn't reach me directly, they found other, more creative means of getting to me. I almost had a heart attack when someone placed a cup of ginger on my desk as payback for my existence. If the thing didn't give me the runnies as much as it did, I would have been touched that one of those unimportant, unpopular opinions remembered that the Smith's and ginger never blend well.
I had stood frozen in the same spot until Donovan's hand stretched out from behind, snatched the cup up, and dunked the drink back in one swift motion, sending me, Syllas and Melissa into momentary shock.
He simply shrugged and said, "What, it's ginger. You obviously weren't going to drink it."
I cackled at that and gave him a well-deserved highfive, ruffling his hair before turning back to the front. Timing Syllas' attention to me just right, I waved. He fixed his glasses, cussed me out with his eyes, and turned to his work, mutteringcurse words under his breath. I mocked his sour mood as I drew back into my shell.
While trying to doze off, a sharp pain shot up my leg and I jerked back up. My hand moved down to my ankle as I looked over my shoulder, my wince still evident.
"Okay, I swear that wasn't intentional." Melissa's nervous giggle kicked my pain right out the window and welcomed my anger. She clasped her hands, her eyes crinkling sweetly at the corners. I creaked my eyes away, fixing it on her deskmate instead. His were pleading, and mine, filled with rage. "I was lost in my headâ"
"It's cool. My ankles are made of steel." Even as the lame words left my mouth, the portrait of Donovan's demise was already painted. I held back from saying anything else and kept to myself after that.
Beside me, Syllasâfrom robot to manâsnorted in amusement.
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I got my phone back from my mom's ex. He was confused as to why I hadn't gotten it sooner. Telling him I was sometimes an airhead would have added a darker shade to my already stained record so I told him I had been busy with my studies.
He had chosen to roll his eyes and shoo me out of his office. I think he's had enough of my half-wit lies.
I sauntered into the gymnasium, heading for a seat at the bleachers while I waited for Cash and Donovan to get through with practice. The place smelled of sweaty teenage boys and old, wet socks. Not the best combination to have in such an enclosed space but I was so happy with the outcome of the list that not even the smell of satan's behind could have dented my smile.
I hadn't gotten to really speak with my best friend all day.
Correction, all week.
Mr. Popular was quite busy these days since he wasn't the type to pack people up and out of his business and send them on their merry way like the average person would.
This resulted in people stopping our conversations midway to profess their undying love for him, making sure to leech off his time and energy as their mouths ran faster than a river while they spouted Nile-long gibberish that nobody with an actual life would ever even knowingly speak on.
I get that it isn't his fault that so many people are interested in him but it has gotten so bad that we only ever see each other during classes and driving lessons and, since I wasn't exactly an F1 level driver yet, conversations between us was kept at an all time low in those moments.
Between basketball, nerding around like the motions of a clock's hand and having to deal with the draining nightmare that was Melissa, he only had the energy to listen to my half-rant of Hero before nodding off to sleep. The only indicator that he had been listening being the upward crook of his lips before he'd doze off, leaving me to interact with the wall.
I was starting to hate their stupid, secret meetups or whatever it was they had going on. I had tried to bring it up but every time he would avoid the topic like it was some flop r&b song that he hadn't yet gotten around to deleting from his playlist.
Wednesday
I marched up to the bleachers, braving two seats at at time, a little nervous from approaching almost the entire team while they took a breather.
"Donovan, about Melissa..."
"What about her?" His laughter, mixed with the ones of his teammates as their eyes trained on the female intruder, did not deter me from my goal, no matter the discomfort. I was getting straight down to business.
"You seem to be inseparable nowadays. Is there a reason...dating, test drive? What's the deal here?"
Every head except Hero's turned to Donovan, pointed looks and knowing stares leaving a sinking feeling in my chest.
Cash and Hero's identical looks of confusion did not help the situation. At all.
Donovan rolled his eyes, lowering himself to my level and, unknowingly wrapping himself in an aura of confidence and perfection that I could never hope to achieve. I stood three steps below him and a world away from his reality; a reminder that I could never measure up to him.
"I thought you hate Mel." He whispered for my ears only then drew back to face me, his head tilt and knitted brows a clear sign of confusion. "What's with the sudden interest?"
"Just...curious." My gaze wavered, dropping to his sneakers. I blinked hard and fast, forcing on a smile for his benefit before looking back up at him. "So?"
"I already told you," His shrug as he turned back to the team killed any desire left to ask about the subject. "there's nothing going on."
Thursday (A coward's approach)
"You guys must be dating now since you frequent her house like fly to feces." I took the opportunity as we ended a heated match of 2k. I won obviously.
My joke was lost on him. His light and cheery mood switched in a fraction of a second. He placed the controller back on the charging stand and sent me a look.
"I could say the same about you and Hero. Shouldn't you hold off on the PDA until their break-up's official?"
"PDA?"My cheeks flamed at the accusation. "Hero and I are not...we're notâ"
"I'm kidding, Potato." He grinned and got up, pulling at his shirt. "I'm running late for my date with Mel. I guess I'll beat you when I get back?"
"Yeah," My reply was curt. The voices in my head overanalyzed his words, leaving no room for a decent enough response. I blinked back to reality and forced a playful eye roll. "You're delusional. I can beat you blindfolded using only one hand while rescuing a baby elephant from a fire."
That got a chuckle out of him. I like when we laugh instead of fight. It's more natural. It's better. It's...us, I guess.
"Sure, I'm delusional." He responded as he left me to my lonesome, stopping only to say, "My sweet tooth's kicking." before abandoning me once again.
But we never got to play. He had canceled via text right when I had already set up our snack trayâ freshly baked cookies at the readyâ and made myself comfortable at my window nook to keep an eye out for his loud, expensive car.
That was...something.
And now it's Friday and I've come to the conclusion that maybe Donovan doesn't want to talk about it. With me. His best friend.
My brain itched just thinking about this entire week as my eyes trailed his messy hair along the court while he completed his layup set. He landed on his feet, immediately searching the room until he spotted me as if he could feel my vengeful eyes on him.
I huffed and moved to take a seat, aware of other, unimportant heads turning in my direction.
I envisioned what it would have been like if my knees hadn't buckled from the pressure of having so many eyes on me. I probably would have made it to the bleachers in style, my hedgehog hair flowing behind me and my steps confident.
Reality can be a cruel thing.
I tripped on air and fell flat on my face. My hedgehog head cushioned the impact of the fall and I barely had time to register the throbbing pain before someone helped me to my feet, green eyes glinting with worry.
"Careful, beautiful, you may just end up falling for me."
Did I crack my rocky hills of a dome? I think my ears might be glitching because there is no way Hero just openly flirted with me. And in front of his team and a bunch of cheerleaders at that.
I am so screwed.
I pushed off him, noting the dark circles under his eyes as I put some distance between us.
"You wish." I stuck to my revised midnight script, trying to hide my concern with a crooked smile.
"Hero get your ass back here! Who said you could stop for a tea party?"
"Sexist much?" Hero muttered and I had to swallow my laughter. He cocked an eyebrow, the cutest head tilt following right after. "Looks like I'm in trouble because of you. You owe me one, beautiful."
I had transformed into the perfect tomato. It took a lot of brainpower to get my jelly feet moving again and when I finally made it under the bleachers , I squealed into my palms, too happy to care about the students minding my business from the openings under the stairs or the fact that Hero and the rest of the team could probably hear.
They already thought I was a nut job so who cares if they judge me about this too. Not me, that's for sure.
"Can you not?" My brother's voice drew my attention from my game of Tetris. What's his deal? "You're selling yourself cheap with the way you're acting.'
"I'm not doing anything, brother dearest." I pocketed my phone and crossed my arms, shrugging calmly. "I have nothing to do. Tetris is all I have. Sorry if I'm embarrassing you by being myself."
"I'm not talking about your stupid game, I'm talking about you hanging around my best friend." He responded, balling his fists at his sides. "I won't say it again. He's my friend. Stop forcing yourself on him."
"Stop forcing yourself on his girlfriend." I fired back, my voice raising in annoyance. He grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the cluster of teenagers sitting right above us. I jerked out of his hold once we were out of hearing range. It immediately dawned on me how immature I had just been. "Sorry. I didn't realizeâ"
"Yeah, you never do." He muttered. "When will you open your eyes and see that he's only around you to get to me? Hero doesn't care about you, Harley. None of this is about you, so do us all a favor and go back to pretending like we don't exist. Or is that too hard to ask?"
"You messed up, Cash, I had nothing to do with it. Stop dragging me in the middle of your feud to make yourself feel better. And, last I checked, I'm not the one locking lips with my best friend's girlfriend so what gives you the right, huh? What gives you the right to judge me? Why won't you just leave me alone? You always have to do something to prove that you're the better twin! Well, you are, okay? You win so pleaseâI am begging youâ leave me out of it!"
He could shoot me dirty looks all he wants because I was firm in my footing and won't be letting out just because my decision didn't flow with his ideals. Our standoff was interrupted by a dumpster.
"Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight..."
Our heads swiveled to Donovan a few feet away. His hand swings in the air slowed midmotion, and his chant died out in a negative slope.
"I'm guessing that's a no on the twin fight?" He pursed his lips in disappointment and sharply shifted away from us like a toddler. "You guys are no fun."
Cash brushed past,shoulder-
checking me as he left and I looked up to keep from crying at school.
"Let's see how you like it," I heard Donovan say and I watched Cash struggle to fight his way out of Donovan's hold from the corner of my eye. "I'm not letting go till you say sorry."
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Let go, you idiot!"
"That's what I thought." Donovan let him go and pulled me into a sweaty hug. "Don't mind the rotten potato. He's just salty because you get to have all of this and he doesn't."
That got a laugh out of me.
"Go take a shower, Dumpster." I playfully shoved him away, pinching my nose in disgust. "Unless you want to keep smelling like one."
"That was so lame." He chuckled and jogged to catch up with Cash. Their conversation waned out as they walked further away and Hero stepped into my line of sight.
For once, he smelled like a teenage boy. I wanted to store his wet shirt next to my black boots and savor the smell forever.
"Want to meet up at my place tomorrow? It'll be loads of fun. Just the two of us. No busy bodies running their mouths where it doesn't belong...y'know, fun."
My heart was pounding in my chest.
"I would love to," Riley's face bought a permanent residence to the front of my mind. "B-but I can't. I have a whole lot of homeworkâ"
"No, you don't." Hero's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. I groaned, caught in yet another lie. "We're in the same class, Harley."
"Oh, right!" I chuckled nervously, my planned departure for the realm of the living set at the front of my mind. "That's true! You are so smart, Hero."
"Not really." He offered a weak smile to lighten the mood. "A friend of mine said I'm not popular for my brains."
Yep, I need to dig deeper. Six feet isn't enough of an escape from this moment.
I took a step back.
He took two forward, his demeanor changing to one of a deflated balloon.
"Did I...do something wrong?"
My eyes widened in panic, unsure of how to react to the hurt in his voice as he continued.
"It's just...I feel like you're avoiding being seen with me and I thought, rather than get in my own head about it, you could just tell me what I did to make you want to do that..."
"I... Donovan's calling me." I stuttered and hightailed it for the door that was being held open by a dark-skinned, artsy, skinny boy. In my rush to escape, I completely missed the two guys coming in with a cooler and rammed into them. My back hit the ground first, my feet flying in the air. I let out a sound between a cough and a yell and got choked up by a splash of red... kool-aid?
Death by kool-aid. Someone kill me.
I wiggled on the floor, spluttering and coughing as I tried to get up. From above me, three 'Hero's spun around me faster than a lucky draw. The other 'Hero's merged with the middle one that was now reaching down for me.
I missed his hand twice, still gasping for air as he took my hand and pulled me up.
My ears were ringing so hard, his words sounded like mumble rap to me. A towel was placed over my headâHero's towelâand as I communicated my appreciation through my eyes, a cold breeze hit my forehead and I realized my cloak had come off; my hair had been splashed out of my face.
His eyes were glued to my face, outlining every feature like one would a map. With a squeal, I pulled the towel over my head and bolted out the door, slipping twice in the liquid and making an even bigger fool of myself.
At home, in the safety of my darkened bedroom, my hair washed and comforted by my fluffy pajamas, I slumped under my covers, going over probable tactics to avoid both Riley and Hero for the rest of the year.
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"Why can't you two just get along?" Donovan clenched and released the empty water bottle as he spoke and I cringed at the cracking sound. "We could go to the movies just like old timesâ"
So much for getting my mind off of what went down yesterday...
"I'll pass, thanks." I snatched the torture device out of his hand and tossed it in the trash. Lowering the oven heat, I turned back to him, my arms crossed and brows raised in defiance. "For the last time, this girl hates me."
"She doesn't hate you. She just feels bad about you ditching her, that's all."
"My dad died, Donovan. I didn't ditch her. She's just full of herself." I sent him a tight smile. "And I don't want to talk about this anymore. You're being unfair."
I flipped back around, unable to release the tension in my shoulders. From behind me, the stool at the kitchen isle creaked.
"I'm just trying to make this work." He sighed. "You know I didn't mean it like that, right?"
"I know." I frowned, saddened by his whole response to this entire situation. Expressing myself wasn't my strongest forte, and having to do so to my best friend had me agitated. "I guess I just...I want my bestfriend back, Donovan."
"Stop being cringe, I'm right here."
"No, you're not." My frustration bursted out like a dam, shocking both him and myself. "Not really."
"Let's talk about it then." He leaned back on the counter and his nod of encouragement spurred me on.
"Okay, don't get mad but," I braced myself for the backlash as I forced myself to continue. "you're constantly talking to randoms and I only ever see you at home. I don't even get to be with you at home since you're always over at Melissa's now and you'reâyou're keeping things from me. What's up with that?"
The passive look on his face slightly shifted into guilt at the last part, confirming my suspicion. His teeth grazed his bottom lip, tugging on his lip ring as he thought long and hard about my statement. For a minute, I thought he'd finally tell me about his sudden secrecy and devotion to Melissa.
No such luck.
"I'm sorry."
That was it. No explanation as to why he was suddenly keeping secrets and no excuses either. Just an apology. It was clear now that I couldn't bring up Melissa anymore. He really didn't want to talk about it. So I held my tongue.
Literally.
At least we could still discuss our flaws without shouting or cursing at each other. I think I would break if that ever happened.
As if he could sense my uneasiness, he brought his hands up to my hair and kissed my google chrome of a dome apologetically.
"I can't put into words how sorry I am." He mumbled lowly. "This was supposed to be my big break and I really wanted to spend it with you but now it seems like I won't be able to."
And that stung.
Still, it was clear to me what I had to do to balance out our time spent with and away from each other. He only has so long here before he leaves for good in February.
"Fine, I'll try to get along with her." I groaned, letting go of my tongue and squeezing the breath out of him. I pulled back a little to take in how sorry he really was. He looked pretty sorry...I think. "But I want to see your best imitation of the grinch by Monday."
"Pfft...the grinch...really?" I glared up at him, showing him just how serious I was about this. "Grinch. Got it. No more Paddington. Just the..."
"Grinch." We both finished with me nodding like a bobble-head. My stomach grumbled. Loudly.
"Should we eat without them?" I asked, wincing at the horrible suggestion as I wringed my hands in guilt. The aroma coming from the dinner table filled our noses with a delicious promise, mixed in with the one coming from the pastry baking in the oven, and this time both of our stomachs grumbled.
Donovanâgoody-two-shoes Donovanâ shifted on his feet, contemplating our crime with maximum focus. The crinkle at the corner of his eyes and charming smirk that grew into a full smile as he made up his mind was enough of a tell.
We were finally back on track.
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