Donovan and I, amongst the many other students crowding the hallway, stood at his locker, oblivious of the course our day was about to take.
I was going through his camera roll, deleting every single video he had taken of me at the Cliff on Saturday.
The ones he had with Melissa too, but that was for me to know and him to get mad about later.
Speaking of, she was the reason I hadn't gotten the chance to tell Donovan about my brother and Riley.
I had spotted him near the cliffside, choking back his laughter at a girl who was pulling out all the stops to get him to flirt back, and began my sluggish jog to him when the angelic devil intentionally intercepted, pulling his attention towards her before he could spot me right behind.
I could not approach him while she was around. That wouldn't have ended wellâso I held it off for another day.
Since he had taken the entirety of Sunday off best friend duty, informing me that he'd be sleeping in after dropping me home, I never got the chance to bring it up again. This gave me enough time to rethink telling him.
Cash may not be the best brother, but he's still my twin and I don't think I want to aid in ruining his life any more than he already had. My conclusion was to let things unravel as nature wished it to. I would play no part in Hero's discovery of his best friend's betrayal even though it meant prolonging and building the hurt that would come after he found out.
Donovan must have picked up on my distraction. He snapped his fingers in front of my face to gain my attention and I blinked, pushing thoughts of Hero from my mind.
"Good morning." Two soft and very familiar voices spoke from behind me, igniting goosebumps on my skin.
Since I almost never got approached for anything at school, my reaction at Catherine and Riley's appearance so close to me was stalled.
I was right, though. They weren't here for me but rather, my best friend.
"You should sit with us for lunch." Riley pitched, curt and straight to the point as usual.
Donovan, confused as to why Riley was speaking to him since he had made his contempt for her clearer than water, raised an eyebrow as he faced Catherine, waiting for an actual explanation.
"Principal Hemsher just made a huge change regarding the planning committee." She said, revealing a bunch of nada and a whole lot of yap. Donovan shared my thoughts on the matter, except he was actually vocal about it.
"And? What does that have to do with me sitting with you guys?"
"It's not something I can explain in the span of ten minutes, Donovan." Catherine folded her arms across her chest, her eyes daring him to go against her.
Despite her usually easy-going mannerisms, she had no problem checking people when needed, and right now, I could sense that her patience with Donovan was wearing thin.
Her mom was an icon in the fashion world, a designer who stood out from the rest with her one of a kind clothing collections and her bold fashion statements. She was a woman with a vision, and her daughter, the spitting image of her, was headed in the same direction.
A lot of people wondered why such a woman would send her daughter to a regular school such as this one instead of the best of the best.
So far, Catherine hasn't disclosed any information on it. She ignored the school's gossip blogs and never confirmed nor denied any inquiries about the situation. She just didn't care enough about it.
That, however, didn't make her any less confrontational when she felt she was being wrongly addressed.
"Seriously, stop being so hostile towards us."
"I'm not being hostile towards you. Just the company you keep." His eyes flickered to Riley. "But maybe I should. There is a reason for the saying, Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."
Riley didn't respond, a rare occurrence that should have been archived and later studied under 'abnormal behaviors of wildlife'.
From behind the safety of Donovan's locker door, I was fighting back my laughter.
Instead of blowing a fuse, she did cute little bunny hops around him to annoy him even more than she already had as she studied him then sized him upâ or tried to, at least. Riley's shorter than the accepted height. She was 5'1 in her regular heels and 4'11 without it so the whole face-off with Donovan was more comical than tense.
I couldn't help it, I snorted.
Riley's energy that she had built up for the threat she was about to give Donovan drained out of her at the sound and she fixed her glare to the source.
"Another eavesdropper?" She muttered bitterly as she slammed the locker shut, nearly hurting me in the process. Her eyes widened when she saw me and she took a step back, quickly composing herself. "Oh, it's just you, Harley. Sorry about that."
I bet she thought I'd threaten her with what I had hinted about her and Cash but, here's the thing, I'm not Riley nor do I want to be her. I get no pleasure from threatening people and if she wasn't in her head all the time, convincing herself that everyone was just as bad, she wouldn't have seen the need to watch her tongue around me.
And besides, if I hadn't caught them sucking each other's faces off by pure chance last Saturday, it would have never crossed my mind that either of them would ever betray Hero like that.
Not that I'd ever tell her that.
She could go right on ahead over-thinking this as much as she needed to. Until she could learn that it's not so fun to hold things over others, I had no problem being her karma. Also, my heart hurt for Hero and if I could make Riley's life just a little harder by simply knowing of her disloyalty, then I'd gladly hint at it whenever she was in hearing range.
I'd never tell on my brother, but again, Riley didn't need to know that.
"Fine." Donovan's compliance brought a brief sense of satisfaction to the two girls until he put an arm around me, breaking the perfect triangle formation they had formed in the hallway and both girls eyes zeroed in on me. "If Harley agrees, of course. She's grown fond of the window areaâany window area, pfftâso good luck trying to convince her to sit with you guys."
He was referring to their lunch table which was smack dab in the middle of the cafeteria, symbolizing The Popular's relevance and giving everyone a good view of them.
Donovan didn't react to my jab at his side, the jerk. I was forced to crack a smile at Riley despite being the girl with the black boots, the person that had puked on her license plate and having found out her biggest deceit.
I focused my smile on Catherine instead, feeling the pressure on my shoulders lighten significantly compared to when I had made eye contact with Riley.
"So..." Catherine gestured that I sped up my answer. "Will you?"
"Oh, uh, I could sit. With you guys. If you don't mind."
"Great! I guess I can look forward to seeing the both of you now."
She made it so obvious that I kind of felt insulted at this point. She could have at least put more effort into making it seem like she was actually interested in having me at their table.
"See you at lunch, Donny." Riley brushed a hand on his shoulder as she passed, choosing to ignore me in the process.
Donny?
Donovan and I exchanged a very meaningful look before immediately looking down at our matching red sneakers as we inhaled heavily, trying not to laugh. I was extremely grateful that she had made that comment after she had already passed us or we wouldn't have been able to control our laughter. I lifted my head up after a second, clearing my throat as I watched her go.
"Uh, looking forward to having lunch with you." I called out as they made the bend. Catherine waved back at me, having a clear goal to get Donovan to join them even at the expense of interacting with me. Riley didn't bother to look back.
She had definitely heard that.
"My brother has really weird taste in friends." I murmured before turning to Donovan who was back to normal. "I think you have a new admirer."
My suggestive tone flew right over his head as he reached behind me for one of his textbooks, only sending a disinterested shrug my way as he got his books out of his locker and used me as his backpack.
"We don't have to sit with them if you don't want to." He said while I struggled beside him with both of our textbooks. "I'm completely fine with sitting wherever you normally sit."
That would be outside under the shades of the tree where bugs and other insects lived harmonically and also worked harmonically to get rid of the silly human who couldn't seem to understand that that was their living area. For some reason, I don't think Donovan would like it all that much.
I offered a smile at his thoughtfulness then looked down, fully registering the textbooks he had placed in my hands.
"We have History this morning as well?!" I asked crestfallen. "Right after Civics too? I really hate these boring, no class subjects.
"Same here." He answered after a beat as we walked to our third period class, maneuvering around the bustle of students in the hallway.
"Liar, you're good at History." I thought about it for a minute before adding. "And science. And English. And Maths. And Geography. Waitâ what aren't you good at?"
"Losing."
He smirked cockily, taking his textbook from over mine, lessening the weight. I followed him to the front right of the class where Melissa, Trishâa friend of Melissa's that almost always tagged along in her shadowâand the rest of the nerds, had set up momentary base.
"Hey, handsome." Melissa greeted Donovan, smiling like she had just been offered a full box of kittens. Huh, the malice in her eyes were almost nonexistent today. Almost.
I inwardly rolled my eyes.
Trish, Terry and the rest of the nerds followed her lead, some of them even noticing me for the first time.
I waved and smiled politely at them then poked my best friend in the ribs since he wouldn't stop looking at her. Was he searching for diamonds in her eyes or something? He looked down at me quizzically but I avoided his piercing gaze.
This is stupid
"What's wrong?" He whispered, leaning toward me.
I chose peace.
"This is my exit. " I shuffled away from their circle, hoping none of them would take notice of it.
Donovan chuckled, mimicking my penguin shuffle and I laughed, the pain of watching him admire my bully stunted by his goofy attitude. I had to remind myself that Donovan didn't know about the real Melissa. He was still stuck on the girl he knew before he left and a part of me felt guilty for even thinking about ruining his veneration of her.
After all, Melissa was to Donovan as The Populars were to the town.
"Try to stay up this time." He teased, offering a tiny wave as I retreated from their group.
"Haha. That's so funny."
I threw him a little wave as well before heading to my seat in the far back of the classroom for some peace and quiet. I scooted into my seat. The empty one beside me, in contrast to the groups and pairs of students all around, speaking volumes.
Our seating arrangements throughout classes had been made clear this morning. It was posted in bold letters on the class bulletin board. But History class didn't require us to do so. We were free to choose where to sit and who we wanted to complete the year with.
The three girls that I had shown around were present but I made no move to sit with them despite the temptation of the unoccupied seat beside them, a clear invitation for a fourth member.
I didn't want to screw up anymore than I already had with them. After all, no impression is better than a bad one and the least thing on my mind was gaining extra haters.
I made sure my textbook was covering the rest of my desk before resting my head behind it and immediately closed my eyes to get some shut eye before the teacher made an appearance.
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My head felt like it weighed as much as the sky when I finally opened my eyes again. The maths teacher was hovering over me with a scowl on his face and was angrily speaking in an unfamiliar language to me.
"Wuh?" I groggily sat up from my seat, trying to decipher the gibberish I was hearing. The experience was the exact opposite to that of Percy realizing he could understand Greek.
The maths teacher was probably very passionate about his subject if it made him get all red in the face like that. I briefly wondered why he was in my History class.
"âsecond week back at school and you're already sleeping through the lessons. This is going to be the last time I warn anybody in this class of sleeping. Next time, it'll be detention for the both of you."
At the mention of detention, my head slowly wobbled up and I slouched back in my seat, his words becoming clearer and clearer as I gathered myself. I felt heavy but at the same time, I was floating.
"No, Mr. Whatever-your-name-is, please don't give me detention." I managed to mumble still a bit dazed. "I'm up. I'm up. See."
There were a few snickers from around me before someone beside me spoke, "I have insomnia, sir. I've been given permission to rest for a bit."
That voice...
My head bobbed to the side and I finally made the effort to fully open one of my eyes. It was Hero. He was handing a slip to the maths teacher with a look of boredom on his face.
"Insomnia?" The maths teacher asked confused. Was he living under a rock or something? Everyone knew that Hero was our friendly, neighborhood insomniac. It started sometime ago during our freshman year. "What is that? Some sort of new and approved mental illness that the youth of today have made up?"
He definitely lives under a rock. Under the sea. He was the Patrick of all Patricks. I squinted, the resemblance becoming uncannily similar.
The maths teacher studied the slip a little more before saying, "I'll check in with the nurse to see if this 'Insomnia' of yours is enough reason to disrupt my class."
He walked out haughtilyâor did he levitate?âand everyone stared at the door cautiously until he was far enough away before turning to their friends to start a whole conversation that had nothing to do with numbers.
Hero's gaze fixed on me.
It felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water over my head. I became as alert as an owlâmy eyes popping fully open as I realized that I had his full attention.
"Oh, uh, morning." I looked at the retreating figure of the teacher. "Did you get my texts?"
You would have thought I had announced the death of his favorite artist from the way he groaned.
"God, I don't know what I was thinking giving you my number." He muttered, burying his head in his hands."Just delete it, alright? Before Harvey sees it and blows a damn fuse."
"Oh." My mood fell like rain from the sky. My smile, though forced to remain, wavered as I took in his harsh words. "Oh, okay."
"What?" He chuckled in amusement at my withdrawal. "You thought I didn't know?"
"What?" My face paled.
"Harley," He placed his hands on my shoulders as he spoke. "Don't get me wrong. I think you're pretty cool and all but I could never be with someone like you. Even if Riley cheats on me with my own best friend, I'd rather beg her to stay with me than date the school's mascot. That's social suicide."
The world was caving in on me. I was sweating like the skin under every woman's boobs as I took in Hero's words. I wanted out of the conversation. The class. The school, in fact.
And who wouldn't be if the boy they had been pining for through all of their teen years started best friend's sister-zoning them out of nowhere? I had only asked if he had seen my texts. How could it have possibly led to him finding out I had a thing for him? It's my eyes, isn't it? Those treacherous bastards. They let my feelings slip through the tiny gaps in my curls and now Hero knows that I like him.
I was saved by the maths teacher, his appearance silencing the entire class including the voices in my head that had been echoing my insecurities.
He stood at the door,admiring Donovan and co who hadn't even noticed him come in since they were so busy being smart before his attention drew on the rest of the class. He scoffed at our mediocre attempt to look busy before strutting over to Hero and handing the now crumpled up slip to him.
"Try closing the computer every once in a while and maybe then you'd get some shut eye." He huffed out and stomped back to the front of the class while muttering, "back in my day..."
Blah blah blah and so on and so forth.
"I'll try, sir." Hero responded as he shoved the slip back into his pocket and bowed his head in continuation of what he had been doing earlier.
Even when using sarcasm, his voice still sounded like a siren's song to a shipwrecked sailor.
Then the maths teacher called me up in front of the class and handed me a detention slip. I don't know what came over me. I threw it on the floor and stomped on it, not caring who was watching me.
I didn't care if they all saw the tears streaking down my face.
"Suspension! Suspension for life!"I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now.
"That's expulsion." I sniffed angrily, rubbing at my sore eyes with the back of my hand. "And I don't even want to come to this stupid school anyway!"
If I had known my correction would have drawn everybody's eyes on me, I wouldn't have gotten up from bed this morning.
They all rose in unison and backed me up against the wall. Their voices were mocking, their laughters an echo in my ears. I crumpled to the floor, covering my ears from their insults and squeezed my eyes shut.
"Harley?" Hero's voice came from somewhere around me, making me wish I had in some solid ear plugs to block out the lingering reminder of his clear rejection in my head. "Harley, wake up!"
I gasped, popping up from my seat, my eyes spinning as I took in where I was, getting a clear view of the shock I had given the entire class.
A...dream?
I felt the wetness on my cheeks.
No, a nightmare. A really ugly nightmare.
Looking down at the person who had shaken me from the nightmare I had been having, I came eye to eye with Hero, feeling lightheaded while my heartbeat came to a steady pace.
My eyes watered but I quickly wiped at it, pulling my hoodie over my head so they wouldn't have anything else to laugh about. I was too slow.
End credits. Very predictable.
As always, they're laughing and I'm...still the entertainment, the mascot, the girl Hero would never date. I scoffed, remembering the ridiculous hope that had consumed me in my dream.
Even my subconscious knows I'm a loser.
"Are you good?" Hero asked, his tone filled with worry. "It looked like you were having a nightmare."
"I..." Yeah, it was all about you and how you coldly rejected my love. I sighed. "It was nothing."
We went quiet for a moment with me drumming my fingers on the desk and him spinning his pen endlessly around his fingertips.
"Does that happen a lot?" Hero whispered low enough that no one around us could hear and for a moment, I questioned if he had spoken to me at all.
"Not really." I'm such a liar.
We fell into an awkward silence. I wanted nothing more than to break it but I didn't know how.
"Who taught you how to play?" He mumbled out of nowhere. "You're pretty good, Harley. I could learn a thing or two from you."
"Thank you," I managed to say through my sniffles. My cheeks heated in embarrassment. Hero just complimented me. Waitâthis feels exactly like the start of my dream. Maybe I shouldn't sound too excited. Who knows? He might just repeat exactly what dream Hero had said.
I thought over my next words carefully.
"I had a lot of free time as a kid."
I thought back to how I used to watch them play in the living room from the safety of the stairs then sneak down later to whatever game they had left on to try my luck at it while they were busy playing basketball outside.
They'd then come in later, accusing each other of completing levels and unlocking new achievements, completely unaware of the bookworm they were entertaining at the top of the stairs.
Donovan knew though. We'd laugh about it while playing after the boys had scattered to their homes and Cash had gone to bed. He even took some of the blame at times because he could never get me to come down and interact with everyone.
I looked to the front of the class.
Since he was already looking in my direction as if he could sense the awakening of my awkwardness, I didn't have to go through the whole process of calling out to him and in turn pissing off everyone around me even more than I already had by simply existing.
I had not been expecting him to have such high sensory levels to know that I was in need of his infinite social wisdom.Even for my best friend, that was just too much of a perfect timing.
He looked worried. I smiled to put him at ease before turning back to Hero.
"So that's a yes then?"
"Huh?" I blinked twice, trying to recall our conversation. "What were we talking about again?"
"We should hang out more." He repeated without an ounce of irritation at my airheadedness. Then he whispered, "I won't tell Cash if you don't."
That sounds almost as bad as the nightmare I just had.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure. I can do friends. Secret friends is even better, I think." I said a bit too quickly and opened my textbook, checking from the corner of my eye to see if Donovan had watched the horrific exchange that Hero and I had just had. He had already turned his attention back to Trish. I felt the over-fed disappointment butterfly make it's daily rounds in my stomach.
"I guess he can't be all-knowing all the time..." I half-thought, half-whispered to myself.
I snorted, hearing the maths teacher echoes of 'suspension for life' in my head and rubbed at my eyes again.
"What are you laughing about?" Hero whispered quietly.
Not wanting to get caught talking to Hero by Riley's minions, I ducked my head to respond, miscalculating the distance between me and the desk.
"Ow!"
Hero sluggishly turned towards the chaos, catching me rubbing my aching forehead.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Totally fine." I drew my notebook in front of me, my face flaming in embarrassment. "I'll just..." I pointed at the writings, avoiding eye contact and trying to block out the end credits of people who had seen what had happened.
My burial would be soon and without warning if these things kept happening to me.
Hero passed me a note.
Detention. 4-5:30
Caught sleeping in class
"Mr. Letcher tried to wake you up. You wouldn't budge so he wrote this down and went to get the nurse." He looked apologetic, showing me one of his own as if it would make me feel better.
I groaned into my palms, dreading being in the same room as Hero after he just friendzoned me.
For the rest of the morning, even though we were seated next to each other, I avoided any further interaction with Hero like Europeans had avoided society during the bubonic plague.
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