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Zulaid regretted joking around her. He never wanted to make her cry. He gently held her in his embrace. He rested her head on his chest.
"Stop crying please!" He sniffed her hair. A fruity fragrance touched his nostrils. He patted her back and let her cry for sometime.
"It's alright" He ran his fingers in her hair.
Zulaid was trying his best to be a better version of himself for her though it was very hard for him as he wasn't a soft person by nature. He was different but he was trying as she was an important part of his life now. He wanted to be a better version of himself for his wife.
He always knew that Inara was very immature. It was nothing new for him. Apart from being immature, he found her to be a caring person. She had doing started doing everything Farida and Saman were advising her about the married life. She was trying to be a good wife.
He knew everything would take time and they would eventually settle down but her behavior sometimes seemed weird to him.
He was a doctor himself. He could sense that something was wrong to her. Her mood swings. Sudden outbursts at him. Anxiety. Awkwardness were alarming him.
"Inara! Why are you crying so hard? I was just kidding. I am not going to scold you. Please don't cry!" He moved her back gently and looked down at her face.
"I thought you will be angry at me" She mumbled, looking up at his face. Her face glistened with tears.
"Why would I? I was just trying to joke. Nothing else. I actually like the name you have given me" He wiped her tears softly.
"Really?" She sniffed.
"Yes" He smiled. "But do I actually look like a dracula?" He asked being serious.
"No! You just behave like that" She smiled.
"Oh really!!" He was amazed to see her. One moment before she was crying and now smiling. She didn't try to get out of his hold this time. Instead she rested her hands on his chest.
"Yes! You are always so angry at me. Fuming in anger. You aren't friendly. You don't like to spend your time with us!" She told him.
She badly wanted to say me instead of us.
"No. I just like being serious. There is a difference between getting angry and being serious" He held her hands and took her to the bed.
"You are always like that" She muttered, sitting on the bed next to him.
"And what about you? You are always ready to argue with me" He mentioned.
"What else I can do. We don't share any friendly relationship. You never made one with me. You have always been mean to me" She told him seriously.
"Why do you think about me in such a way?" He asked her. He genuinely wanted to know the reason.
"You made me think like that" She shrugged her shoulders.
"How? What did I do?" He asked dumfounded.
"You don't realize what you did?" She asked hurtfully.
"No. I don't"
"You robbed me of my childhood" She said holding her tears back. It was such an emotional topic for her. She wanted him to know what he had done to her.
"What do you mean?" He was astonished at her accusation.
"You never realized what you are doing to me. How your attitude would be hurting me. You never wasted your time to even think that you are destroying my childhood.
You always ignored me. You always put me at the back in everything. Growing up I never got your attention. You would always ignore me like I never existed. For you, only Hamad mattered. You never looked at me.
You didn't take care of me like cared for your brother. You didn't give me time like you gave to your brother. You never showed any interest in me and my doings unlike your own brother.
You were always distant to me as if I wasn't your family member. You made me think that I was any less than Hamad. He was better than me in studies and everything. You liked him but not me. You always differentiated between two of us. I always felt left out. I always cried on your attitude towards me. I always considered myself less than two of you because you made me think like that. Your behavior towards me hurts me so much.
I know he was your brother but who was I to you? I was grown up hearing that I have two brothers but with time I realized that I have only one. The other one actually doesn't consider me anything. Why was you always distant to me?" She cried her heart out.
Zulaid was shocked at her words. He was hurt no doubt. But her crying make it more vulnerable. She was crying bitterly.
"It's not like that" He tried to defend himself which was of no use he himself knew that.
"You are so bad. So mean. I hate you!" She kept crying.
"Inara! Don't cry" He tried to hold her face in his hands.
"Don't act like you care" She pushed his hands away.
"I do care about you" He insisted.
"Yes. You might do care about me because unfortunately I am your wife now but what about the girl who was your cousin. You never cared about her. You never treated her nicely then why now?
If you would have married another woman you would have never even had a few words with me because I was no one to you on whom you would have wasted your precious time. Just because I am your wife now you are trying to be nice to me" She asked him bitterly.
"I-I don't know. You felt like that" He didn't understand how to respond.
"I know you don't like me. You never did. We are just married because of our circumstances. You don't have to lie to me. I better know about your feelings towards me. You don't need to force yourself to be nice and pretend that you are actually not. It's better to be real. I am trying my best to be a good wife. I think that's enough. You being nice to me isn't real you. So don't pretend please. I ain't gonna embarrass you in front of our elders. Don't worry!" She rose up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom.
Zulaid stared at her back till she disappeared. He never thought he would ever hear anything like that from anyone especially her. He was astonished.
He walked behind her only to find her going back to her old room upstairs. He took his steps to her old room in her father's portion.
"Inara! Listen to me" He said loudly. Before he could enter her room she shut the door at his face.
"Leave me alone!" She shouted at him before banging the door.
"What happened?" Farida rushed out of her room. She found him standing alone at the door of Inara's room.
"Where is Inara? Did she shut the door forcefully?" Farida asked him seriously.
"She is inside" He muttered awkwardly.
"Inara!!" Farida clenched her teeth, walked to the door. She was angry at her daughter on her bratty behavior without knowing the suffering of her child.
"No chachi please! Don't say anything to her please. It's not her fault. I am at mistake please don't say anything to her" He stopped her from saying anything to her.
"I don't want to interfere Zulaid! but do tell me if she misbehaves" Only Farida knew how she controlled herself in front of him otherwise if she was alone there with her daughter she would have already scolded her for behaving so immaturely.
"It's really okay chachi. She did nothing" He took all the blame on himself and cleared her.
Inside the room, Inara was crying her heart out. She couldn't believe she said everything to him which she always wanted to. Her childhood memories kept repeating in her mind.
"Zoi bhai! I like you so much"
"Zoi bhai! Please play with me"
"Zoi bhai! Also take me to the ice cream parlor with you and Hamad"
Hundreds of memories made her cry where he ignored her like she never existed.
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It's very hurtful to go through such experience. Feeling left out actually hurt a lot. If you have gone through such experience you can relate to Inara.
She isn't wrong. She had faced it all her life. The one who get hurts doesn't forget what happens to him.
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