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Zulaid patted her hand which was resting on his thigh. He interwined their fingers and looked at her face. She was already staring at his face as if he was doing the things she never expected. When did she ever thought he would hold her hand so delicately.
Was she dreaming.
"I am all ears!" He gave him the softest smile.
"I have already said it you" She was embarrassed to think about her outburst of yesterday.
"Yes you did. And now I want you to share the details. I want an explanation" He encouraged her to speak.
"Why are you so interested in me?" She asked the question which was disturbing her the most.
"It's simple because you are an important part of my life now" He answered truthfully.
"You have already said it many times today" She told him.
"Did I?" He questioned.
She nodded in response.
"Well it's good to repeat important things" He shrugged his shoulders.
She silently stared at the city lights. Her hand was melting in his warmth.
"I was eight years old when Hamad was born. For eight long years I was the only kid in the family. I got immense love from everyone. And then Hamad was born. I was a young boy at that time. I did feel that everyone's attention was divided but that didn't cause me to hate Hamad. He was my only brother and I loved him a lot. I was very excited when they brought him home. I was delighted to finally get a sibling. I didn't envy that little baby. I just couldn't. The moment I saw him I fell in love with him and the same happened after three years when you were born" He realized she wouldn't say anything so he started narrating his childhood to him.
"You remember that day?" She asked taking interest.
"Of course! I was eleven at that time. I remember every little detail of the day" He nodded.
"You were the cutest baby with pink fluffy cheeks I ever saw. I really liked you Nara! I really did. I starting taking care of you like everyone else. Don't mind me saying but chachi was very careless in the starting years of your life. She would leave you to me to take care of you. I tried my best to help her as I was the eldest one.
But with time I was realizing that Chachi and Mama was treating me differently. I was grown up but that didn't mean I didn't have anything else to do except taking care of their kids. I babysit you anf Hamad for a long time. I sacrificed my sleep, my play time and other things just to help the woman of my home but they both took me for granted. You both were not my responsibility to take care of. Elder kids aren't meant to take care of younger siblings like parents in their childhood at least.
Then Hamad grew up, he wasn't a troublesome child but you, you were very troublesome. You would create problem for me. You were a child. I can't blame you for anything but chachi. She never really properly took the responsibility of the kid she gave birth to. She would leave you to me for hours and you would irritate me. I never hit you for once. I wasn't cruel to hurt a kid but I wasn't happy with the injustice that was happening to me in the house.
As you grew up, you became very mischievous. You loved to mess with me. Chacha and chachi never tried to stop you for doing anything wrong saying that you are just a kid. This thing build inside you and you became a brat. Once you asked me to shut up" He told her playfully at the end.
She had her full attention towards him. She really wanted to know about their childhood from him but her eyes widened in shock at the end.
"No. It can't happen" She wasn't ready to accept that once she was so disrespectful to him even if she was just a little kid.
"It did. You asked me to shut up and started crying the next moment as if I hit you" He added.
"I am so sorry" She was really embarrassed.
"What! You don't need to apologize for it. You were a kid" He squeezed her hand once again to reassure her.
"But-I can't even imagine I said that to you" She was still shocked.
"Well you did. You really used to misbehave and you know what happened after that. I grew up. I joined college. My whole life changed and I really minded the kind of attitude I was getting from everyone. I had my own life Inara! I decided to distance myself from you and chachi. I never ignored you on purpose. I would anything to take care of you but then my priorities changed.
I wasn't much close to Hamad even. I am still not. We don't share the closest bond like other siblings share who are happen to be in the same age group. I love him with all my heart but when I was going through my teenage and adulthood, he was still a kid like you. So I couldn't make a bond with both of you.
I always cared for him because he was my brother. I always believed that you aren't my sister. Staying in the same house doesn't change real relationships you were just a cousin and not a sister. I never had a responsibility towards you unlike I had towards Hamad. I know it hurt you but that's why we are sitting here as husband and wife because that's what it was. We weren't sibling and I never felt anything special towards you when I grew up. I repeat that I never intentionally ignored you or discriminated you and Hamad but it's truth that Hamad had always been on my priority list because he was my brother.
With time we grew so apart that later in the life that you were just a family member whom I cared about any other member of my family. I always cared for you Nara! No matter what but love... Love is a special feeling which isn't for everyone" He ended his part of the conversation.
One thing that Inara accepted sitting at that place was that he was right. She wasn't his responsibility. There was a difference between her and Hamad. Why she never accepted that they both were brothers and their should be love between them.
"I understand that now but-but you would take him with you for outings but you never took me with you. I would be very hurt to see you both leaving the house, knowing that you would enjoy and I would say stay at the house doing nothing" She told him sadly.
"It was wrong at my part. I accept that I shouldn't have treated you like that. As my cousin and family member you deserved to be part of our outings. I am not going to give any baseless justifications for this. I accept it was very wrong on my part. I am really sorry for that" He gladly accepted his mistake and apologized.
"You would help him in studies and would ignore me everytime I ask for help. Once I stared crying on your ignorance. You were so bad" She tried to move away from him but how could she when he wasn't ready to leave her hand.
Zulaid wrapped his other arm around her shoulder and moved closer to her.
"You know once you started yelling that you aren't a good girl. You minded when I called you a good girl. Then you kept chanting that you are a bad girl" He laughed at the end.
"No please. Don't lie" She was horrified to hear that. Was she without a brain in her childhood?
"I am not lying. She used to do that" He said.
"I was so crazy" She mumbled.
"You are still" He added and unwrapped his arm from her shoulder to sit more comfortably.
"I am not" She clearly minded.
"As you say" He agreed.
"As I recall my memories. I never saw you affectionately towards me" She told him.
"You are right I wasn't because I never felt any affection towards you later when you grew up. Something isn't in your hold. Now that I think it was very mean of me to not give you any importance" He didn't defend himself for something he was wrong at.
"Saying all of it can't bring all those years back where I wanted to be loved like Hamad. I seriously used to think that I had something wrong with me and he was better than me that's why he was getting all of your love. I can't explain it to you but I have all those memories carved in my brain. I can't forget those days I spent crying because I wasn't loved like Hamad" A lone tear fell from her eyes.
Zulaid quickly left her hand and cupped her face in his hands.
"I am accepting it to you Inara that I was wrong. I am really sorry for that but you and I both know that the past can't be changed. It's always going to be the same but I assure you that our future is going to be very different. I would give all the love you deserve and I wouldn't ignore you ever again. I would make your life better and happy with my presence" He promised.
She could sense the truthfulness in his voice.
"But for that you have to forgive me with your heart. We need to move on!" He asked.
"I forgive you" She nodded.
"You won't be disappointed" He kissed her forehead.
"But-" She tried to say something.
"What?" He asked.
"I really want to know why you married me when you got the kind of woman you preferred. Wasn't she important to you. Why did you marry me then?" She always wanted to know this particular detail.
"I will be honest with you Inara because this relationship demands honesty. At the start of my career I didn't want to get married. Later I wasn't getting the one I could be sure that I can spend my life with. I have a complex nature. I always thought a mature woman could be a good wife for me. Dr. Azwa has been doing training under my supervision for the past 2 years. We never had any relationship of any kind. I am expecting from you that you would know what kind of a man I am. I don't believe in nameless relationships. She was just a trainee till this year when I proposed to her for marriage. We got along and that's it. I wasn't ever emotionally involved with her if I was it would have been very difficult for me to break the engagement.
I preferred you over anything else because you were my family member and I cared about you" He caressed her cheek.
"I don't want to discuss any third person between us again. She is a nobody to me. She is just my trainee that's all. You don't need to be insecure of her" He asked.
"But why me when you never liked me. You always consider me immature then why?" She still wasn't convinced.
"I guess that's what destiny is. We were meant to be together" He said seriously this time.
"Destiny" She smiled.
"Yes. Otherwise who could think to marry you but I can't say that about you. Don't tell me you always liked me?" He looked at her teasingly.
"NO" She acted like she was caught red handed doing a crime.
"No. You did. Really?" He wasn't sure himself.
"Why would I? I ain't mad" She rose up from the rock to hide somewhere he couldn't find her.
"Stop acting strange. It's okay if you did. Hamad says I am irresistible" He chuckled and rose up behind her.
"Hamad is a big liar" She was annoyed.
Zulaid grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. She collided with his body. His talk frame was hovering above her. He wrapped his arms around her body, caged her in his arms. Forever.
"But your eyes can't lie. I can see some kind of adoration for me. So Mrs. Inara Zulaid Afandi are your eyes lying to me?" He stared into her eyes.
Inara never thought she would accept it one day that she always liked him. Hamad wasn't wrong to say he was irresistible.
..................................................................
Mrs. Inara Zulaid Afandið¥
Finally they talked and resolved the matter. As Zulaid said past can't be changed so no point of beating around the bush.
They are getting closerð¥¹
Zulaid guessed right that she liked himðð
What do you think is she gonna accept it to him?
How was the chapter?