Chapter 28: Wrong Feelings

DANICA

I was certain he cared for me as much as I cared for him. I knew he was hurting. So was I. He knew it.

“I care because it’s my job to protect you,” he replied, as if he had never said anything else to me. I knew we could never be more than friends, but now he didn’t even want that. We were now just meant to tolerate each other.

There was a pause between us, a silence that seemed to stretch on forever. Finally, I broke it.

“Will you train me?” I asked. His eyes met mine, not with the confidence I was hoping for, but with a look of sadness and worry.

He spoke so softly, it was almost a whisper. “I don’t know how,” he confessed. “I don’t know how to teach you to endure the pain you’re feeling, Danica. Maybe this is where I’ve failed you. I don’t know how to be your guardian angel anymore.”

With that, he stood up and left in a rush.

But he was wrong. He was the support I needed. He was doing everything a guardian angel should do. Even if he didn’t have all the answers, it was still enough.

It made me believe that maybe, just maybe, I was enough. He was enough on his own, and I was enough on my own.

Yet, it felt like a tragedy that together, we weren’t enough.

Only Death knew my time on this earth. So, I stepped out into the bright daylight and headed to the park where I usually met him. I still didn’t know how to summon him when I needed him. Going to the park and waiting seemed like my only option.

When I arrived at the park, there was no sign of him. I sat down on one of the usual benches where he often sat. After a while, I saw him motioning for me to follow him.

I trailed behind him into a secluded path where we were unlikely to be disturbed.

He stopped and opened his arms to me. “My love,” he said, and I practically ran into his embrace, holding him tightly.

“Does he have to be here?” Death asked, and I turned to see Hugo watching us.

I held Hugo’s gaze for a moment. “He’s my guardian angel. He has to be around,” I said, a hint of pride in my voice. I thought I saw a proud grin on his face before he turned away, giving us some privacy.

“What’s on your mind, love?” Death asked, his hand gently stroking my cheek as we sat on a fallen tree log.

“Is there a way for me to know when I’ll die?” I asked.

He laughed. “What is it with you Murrell women wanting to know that,” he said, noting the confusion on my face. “Your mother wanted to know too. You’re so much like her.”

He sighed. “But to answer your question, I won’t tell you. I won’t give you a deadline to rush against. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

I didn’t respond.

“Don’t think being Death’s daughter gives you any special privileges,” he chuckled. “What’s got you so worried about your time now?”

“I don’t think I can handle the transition,” I admitted. “It hurts too much,” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Does it hurt now?” he asked.

“I guess not,” I replied, unsure because it wasn’t the physical pain that was bothering me.

“I want you to remember that pain doesn’t last forever. Hold on to this moment when you’re not in pain. Fight through the pain to feel this moment. And”—he leaned in closer with a smirk—“what about your guardian angel?”

I felt my cheeks heat up, worried that he knew what I was thinking. “What about him?”

“I’ve seen a lot in my time, and I know what love looks like. I’ve been around you two, and friends don’t look at each other the way you two do,” he said, but I shook my head.

“That’s impossible,” I blurted out, as if it was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard.

He chuckled. “I knew it!”

“Knew what?” I asked, confused.

“You didn’t deny that you love him,” he laughed again, leaving me speechless. Love was a strong word, and hearing him say it made me question if that was what I was feeling.

But even if I did love him. “It doesn’t matter, it’s still impossible.”

“I thought the same thing. I thought I’d never be with Meredith, no matter how much I loved her. Our love seemed like a cruel joke. It felt like a tragedy. But we pushed through it and made it work. The best thing in my existence was loving her. And because of that, I have you and Adelie. Love didn’t come easy for her either. Because love is never easy. You have to fight for love.”

I shook my head, disappointment creeping into my voice. “He doesn’t want that,” I said. “And what’s the point in trying? Right now, I need to focus on figuring out this transition thing.”

I turned to Death, my voice a whisper. “What can I do?”

Death looked at me, his gaze filled with sorrow.

“That world is beyond even my understanding. I don’t know what you’re going through or how I can help you,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

I shrugged, trying to hide my disappointment.

“It’s not your fault, it’s nobody’s fault. All I ever wanted was a simple life and now…it’s anything but simple,” I confessed.

Death wrapped his arm around me in a comforting gesture.

“I wish I could do more for you. All I can do now is hope that you find a way. Have you ever considered learning about the last celestial ruler?” he suggested.

I nodded, signing my response.

“Yeah, I should probably ask Hugo. But I’m pretty sure everything there is to know is already out there,” I said, my voice laced with hopelessness.

“Maybe they missed something,” he offered.

“All of them?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

He simply shrugged in response.

***

After our conversation, Death disappeared and I left the desolate place I was in.

As expected, I found Hugo in the park, sitting on a bench. I joined him, sitting down next to him.

I looked around, a sense of déjà vu washing over me.

It was the same bench from my dreams. The same one we usually met at. But I couldn’t tell him that. That was a secret kept only in my dreamland.

I turned to look at him.

“Are you feeling better?” I asked.

He glanced at me, confusion in his eyes.

“Better from what?” he questioned.

“You seem sad,” I pointed out.

He simply nodded in response.

“But it doesn’t matter. Did you get any answers from Death?” he asked, changing the subject.

“How can you say it doesn’t matter?” I retorted, ignoring his question.

He did the same.

We sat in silence for a moment.

“Hugo…,” I began cautiously. “Do you feel the same way I do?” I asked.

He swallowed hard.

“Feel what?”

“You know what I mean.” I let the silence fill the space between us.

“Yes,” he finally admitted, his voice strained. “I don’t want you to worry about me. This…situation has already spiraled out of control.”

He looked at me, his gaze intense.

“About what I said yesterday… I’m ready to kill for you. And if it comes to it, I’ll even kill you. But only as a last resort,” he said, his sincerity chilling.

I smiled gently at him, causing him to look at me in confusion.

“Well, I hope you’re not too eager to do that now because I’m not planning on going anywhere yet,” I joked, trying to lighten the tension between us.

Hugo looked intrigued.

“I want to know everything there is to know about the last celestial ruler,” I said, my voice serious.

His hopeful expression faded, his gaze dropping to the ground.

Was my question really that pointless?

“I know everything is already out there, but I need to see it for myself. I’m hoping there’s something they missed, but if there isn’t, at least I’ll know for sure. Will you help me?” I asked.

He didn’t respond, so I asked again.

“Will you help me?”

He looked at me, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Of course,” he said, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “I’ll get you everything there is, but I don’t think there’s anything they haven’t already used. The only mystery now is how the sky remains mythical without a ruler for a hundred years. Just don’t get your hopes up, okay?” he asked.

I nodded, even though my hopes were already soaring, imagining the slightest chance that I could find a missing piece.

***

Later that evening, I found myself at Creeds again, Hugo by my side.

He was talking about the same things as always, trying to come up with another plan to catch a werewolf. Thankfully, Creed had no idea that we were the ones who helped him escape.

But it didn’t matter because there was a girl who knew the truth. I had felt the need to tell her under the pressure. She was now the one who could expose us. I didn’t know her and she had no reason not to.

I noticed her glancing at me from the corner of the room. Suddenly, Creed called out.

“Daisy, I believe you have an announcement to make,” he said, and the girl stood up.

If my heart could still beat, it would be pounding.

What if she tells?

Hugo’s gaze fell on my hands, clenched tightly around the arms of my chair.

I managed to muster a smile in his direction.

A woman stepped forward, commanding our attention.

“Regrettably, our only tangible proof has fled, even causing harm to one of our own,” she said, her eyes flicking to Hugo.

He nodded along, playing his part, oblivious to the fact that she was onto him.

“This is precisely why we need to reconsider our strategy. I don’t think any of us want to put our lives on the line. I propose we find an alternative approach. That’s all. Thank you,” she concluded, making way for Creed to share his thoughts on how we could secure the evidence we needed.

Hugo hung onto every word, his focus unwavering.

We were seated a good distance away from the rest of the group.

“She’s onto us,” I murmured to Hugo, who turned to look at me.

“Who knows what?” he asked, his tone neutral.

I braced myself for his reaction.

“Daisy…she knows we did it. She saw everything, pieced it all together. I… I didn’t know what else to do, so I told her it was real,” I confessed, my heart pounding in my chest.

But Hugo’s expression remained unchanged.

“What did she say?” he asked, his voice steady.

“She said she won’t tell anyone.”

“Does she know about you? Or me?” he questioned.

I shook my head.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way. The priority right now is to keep you under wraps. I can’t risk them coming after you,” he said, before turning his attention back to the ongoing meeting.

***

The sky was darkening as we left Creed’s house.

We were just a few steps away from Hugo’s car when Daisy called out to me.

I turned to face her, and she looked at us both with her piercing dark eyes.

“Why are you against this? How can I be a part of it? And I need proof that it’s real,” she demanded.

I glanced at Hugo, his face a mask of stone, while panic surged within me.

But Daisy seemed harmless, even friendly. Perhaps she just wanted to help. And now that she knew, there was no turning back.

I could feel my breathing quicken as she waited for our response.

Without thinking, I blurted out, “I’m a nymph.”

The words were barely out of my mouth when my hand flew up to cover it, and I heard Hugo let out a sigh…