Chapter 30: Reality of Grief

DANICA

I was initially enveloped in a comforting warmth. But then, the warmth intensified, gradually becoming a searing heat that scorched my skin. Pain consumed me, and I found myself yearning for the sweet release of death.

I was nothing but a vessel of agony. My bones felt as if they were on fire, trembling within me. I screamed until my throat was raw and aching.

I inhaled, and the acrid scent of charred flesh filled my nostrils. The taste of burned flesh invaded my lungs until they too felt aflame. “Help,” I cried out, but my plea fell on deaf ears.

HUGO

The ring was engulfed in a sea of red flames, obscuring my view. The heat was so intense that it felt as if my face was melting, but I refused to retreat. I had to be the first to know if she was all right.

I glanced at Astra, her porcelain face impassive as she watched the scene unfold. Celestial rulers had weeks to transition, but Danica only had a few days. The transition process, known for its excruciating pain, was why her heart had ceased to beat.

If the heart continued to beat during the transition, the pressure could cause it to explode. I was supposed to protect her. I was her guardian angel, meant to shield her from pain, to heal her.

But now, all I could do was watch her burn. I had always felt her pain, especially when our hearts ached for the same reasons. But now, I felt helpless.

My heart pounded in my chest, not in sync with hers, but out of fear for the woman I loved. ~She will make it,~ I reassured myself. I couldn’t bear to lose her again.

If she left, she would take my heart with her—the heart that only she could stir. She was so far from what she could have been to me, but I still needed her, even from a distance.

My fists clenched at my sides, trembling with the frustration of my helplessness. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the fire extinguished. Danica lay on her stomach, her skin charred but rapidly healing.

My knees buckled, and I rushed to her side. I gently turned her over, cradling her face in my hands. I wasn’t sure if she was alive—her heart wasn’t beating.

“Danica,” I whispered, praying she could hear me. Slowly, as if battling exhaustion, her eyelids fluttered open, immediately filling with tears. Her eyes were a vivid red, as if she hadn’t slept in days.

They looked lifeless, but gradually regained their vitality. I gently stroked her cheek, my hand trembling with fear. She was burning up, as if feverish, but this was a far more literal burn.

I would have given anything to take her pain upon myself. I noticed her swallow hard, and it was then that I realized she hadn’t been breathing. She took a deep, ragged breath, wincing as if in pain.

My gaze drifted to her hands, her knuckles white where they were clenched in the dirt. I carefully pried her fingers loose from the ground. Tears streamed down her face as she curled up into a fetal position, hiding her face from the world.

I wrapped my arms around her trembling body. In the distance, I saw Daisy standing with her mouth agape. She quickly tried to regain her composure when she noticed me looking, but her surprise was evident.

She had followed us and had witnessed something that defied explanation. Yet, she didn’t run. She simply watched the scene unfold. Astra approached us, her voice devoid of empathy.

“I won’t waste my time here. She is weak. I’ve seen others endure this with much better results,” she said dismissively, as if Danica hadn’t just been consumed by flames.

“You don’t know that!” I retorted, defending Danica. I couldn’t bear the thought of her enduring such pain for nothing.

“So, how many celestial rulers have you protected, kid?” she taunted. This was my first encounter with a celestial ruler, my knowledge of them limited to tales and legends. Yet, I yearned for her to endure, to fight.

It was selfish of me to wish for her to battle. “She’s as frail as the rest of them. I was foolish enough to believe that maybe the Death in her blood could make her different, but she’ll crumble just like the others, into ashes and sea breeze, leaving nothing but a void.”

Her words twisted my soul into knots. “I give her maybe forty-eight hours,” Astra declared, her tone casual despite the countless deaths she’d witnessed.

She leaned in closer to Danica, who sensed her presence and lifted her head. Her gaze was fierce, locked onto Astra. An unexpected rage blazed in her eyes.

Astra merely observed her. She attempted to intimidate Danica with her stare, but it was futile. Instead, Danica straightened up, sitting tall with her head held high.

Danica’s jaw tightened. “I won’t die in two days,” she declared, her voice resonating with strength.

She didn’t blink or shed a tear. “I will find a way to stay here longer, and if not till the end, I will discover why nothing has worked in the past hundred years. The Death in me has to mean something. It has to signify something more than just being human. I can do more than just die in the wind.”

I couldn’t suppress the proud smile that spread across my face. This was the first time she spoke with hope, with a sense of self-worth, just as I’d always seen her. But she was mistaken to think that the Death in her blood would be her salvation. She would find that within herself.

Astra remained unfazed. “You’re not the first to believe they can magically endure this. But go ahead, dream. Who knows? Maybe I’m wrong.” She said nothing more and simply walked away.

Danica stayed on the ground, her head held high. She looked at me, her strength waning. “You look worried,” she forced a smile, still reeling from the pain.

She made light of the situation, despite the torment she’d just endured. I didn’t laugh. Instead, I pulled her close, wrapping my arms tightly around her. I felt her shoulders sag in my embrace.

“I will always worry for you,” I confessed. Danica’s gaze shifted to Daisy, who was approaching us. She pulled away, signaling for me to help her stand.

I did, but I stayed close, supporting her by her waist. I didn’t trust Daisy, didn’t like that she was in the know. She seemed decent enough, but what proof did I have? She could be betraying us.

“If you utter a single word about this…,” I began, but Daisy cut me off.

“I…I understand,” she responded, her hands raised in surrender.

“So it’s all real…everything is real,” Daisy exclaimed. “And here I thought my cousin was just crazy,” she added, earning shocked looks from both Danica and me.

“Your cousin?” I asked.

“Yes…my cousin, Elena… When I was a kid, she used to talk about stuff like this, but she died young. She took her own life after isolating herself. I’m pretty sure she was like you, always going on about being a celestial ruler. I never believed her. How could I? She sounded insane.”

“She left behind a letter explaining everything, but I still thought she was out of her mind,” Daisy admitted. This might explain why she handled what she saw so well, not running away or fainting.

“When was this?” I inquired.

“It was a while ago, but we were very close. She was about twenty, and I was eleven, I think,” she explained.

“Do you still have that letter?” I asked.

“Yes, I have other stuff too, if that would help,” she offered. Daisy was proving to be more helpful than I’d anticipated. “I can bring it first thing in the morning.”

Right now, that was the only lead worth pursuing. There might be more to this than we knew.

I had to keep Danica safe. Had to bring her back.

I once had to leave her. Made her forget she ever knew me. Wiped her memory of me, and it nearly drove me mad.

I needed her with me. Needed to be with her.

I had to save her.