Chapter 39: Guilty Pleasure

DANICA

I was gasping for breath as the light flickered on. My eyes darted to the side, landing on Hugo.

“Did you catch that?” I questioned.

He looked clueless.

“No… but you seemed to. What did you see?” he inquired, inching closer.

I glanced back at the mirror. It was as if nothing had happened. The mirror was intact, the candles still flickering.

I was torn between telling him and causing unnecessary worry. It was just another vision. Maybe this was my new normal.

“Nothing,” was all I managed to say.

“It wasn’t nothing, Danica… What was it? Tell me.”

I didn’t want to burden him.

“I promise it’s nothing, just the same messed up stuff I’ve been seeing.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, perched on the edge of his bed, his gaze fixed on me.

I paced his room, hands clasped behind my back.

“I think so… or at least I hope so,” I shrugged, moving to sit beside him. “I just don’t know what to do. There’s so much I still don’t understand. So many things that make me question if there’s more to Celestial rulers than we’re told… what if there are things they can’t explain or warn us about.” I rambled.

“You’ve come this far, Danica. No one in a hundred years has accomplished that. You’re the one, the only one who can save us from exposure to humans. You’ll be our greatest hero,” he said, his voice filled with hope and pride.

He didn’t seem to doubt me, not even a bit. I guess I was my own worst critic.

He noticed my worry.

“Danica, you’re the hero we’ve been waiting for. The hero that can prevent the sky from falling. You possess powers that no one else does. You’re the chosen one,” he said.

Then he smirked.

“And I find it adorable that you don’t see that.” He chuckled. “You may not understand it now, but soon you’ll realize just how powerful you are. You have the ability to manipulate the celestial, to control it with a mere flick of your fingers.”

“I’m not sure I can do it right,” I confessed, admitting my fear of the unknown. Maybe I was scared of what I might become.

“You just need to rest for a bit. Try to sleep, count sheep if you have to,” he chuckled. “Tomorrow is still a mystery. Let’s leave it at that for now. You’ve been through a lot and finally, I can sleep peacefully knowing that…”

He looked me in the eyes.

“That you’re alive and not going anywhere,” he said.

“I don’t feel tired. I’ve never felt more awake,” I confessed, and we fell into a brief silence.

“Hugo,” I began hesitantly. “Astra knows…”

He nodded gently.

“What will happen?”

“She’ll wait for a while.” He took my hand, his finger tracing my guardian angel mark. “If this mark is still here, then I’m still needed. Astra isn’t foolish enough to jeopardize your safety. You’re like her precious new possession that she’ll protect at all costs. But once I’m no longer needed, she’ll notify the high court.”

“You could deny…”

He shook his head.

“There’s very little you can hide from them. They have mind readers in their inner circle. They could easily extract every thought of you I’ve had.”

“But who does this hurt if not you and me?” I asked. “No one is in danger because of it.”

“Their system is. The elders believe it’s disgraceful and wrong. They’ll do everything to make me suffer. That way, they can warn other guardians.”

“Can’t you run away?” I asked, noticing his sad smile.

“I will,” he said. “I believe they won’t be eager to hunt me if I keep a low profile. That’s why I’ll leave as soon as I’m no longer needed.”

He had never mentioned this to me. Never thought to inform me.

I was taken aback, frozen in place. I knew he would leave. It was like déjà vu. The same thing happened in my dreams. He always left. Now he would do it in real life.

His lips parted, trembling.

“I never promised you forever.” His words weren’t meant to be harsh, but they pierced my heart like a cruel insult, a bitter truth from his deepest, darkest depths.

His fingers tightened on my thigh.

“But we’re here now…” he murmured.

I shot up from my seat.

“And then what? You just disappear one day without a word. You leave me just like that, without a second thought.”

“I don’t have a choice!” he tried to approach me slowly, but I backed away.

“I know…” I wasn’t naive. I was torn about what I wanted now. “It could be a few days. Maybe a month. A week. A few hours.”

He continued to close the distance between us. My back hit the wall and his hands cupped my face.

“All I can offer you now is uncertainty. That’s all I have. And when I leave, I’ll carry my pain. I’ll wake up and go to sleep with thoughts of you. And it will hurt. I can live with that!” His voice was firm, resolute.

Then his gaze softened, his thumbs gently stroking my skin.

“But I can’t bear to have you so close, yet untouchable. So near, yet burning like fire.”

His finger traced my neck, gently tilting up my chin.

“Give me a memory to cherish. A sweet sin to be eternally grateful for.”

His words made my mouth water, but I was afraid my heart wasn’t strong enough to sign up for such heartache. I shook my head.

“I’ll hate it when you leave. Even more if we continue this fleeting affair.”

His mouth found my neck, his lips pressing against a sensitive spot.

“If there’s nothing to remember, it hurts less. It’s easier to…” My words trailed off as his hands gripped my sides, his lips continuing their assault on my neck.

He whispered in my ear,

“Then tell me to stop.”

His hands slid under my robe, touching my heated skin.

“Save us from the pain, Danica. Go to your room and we’ll be perfectly sane once the time comes.”

He removed my robe, his eyes riveted to my chest. His lips followed, kissing and nipping at my skin.

I knew I should leave, but he was merciless. He knew I wouldn’t. He knew I’d be too weak to resist something so intoxicating.

And if this was destined to shatter our hearts, so be it. At least I’d have memories to cling to.

I cupped his face, pulling his lips to mine. Our bodies melded together. His lips and tongue danced with mine. His fingers traced my shoulder. His touch could ignite me anywhere. His hand gripped my thigh, lifting my legs around his waist and pressing me against the wall.

Our bodies strained to feel every inch of each other. Just a man and a woman, exploring each other completely. His body pressed into mine, his eagerness palpable.

He carried me to his bed, laying me down with his weight pressing into me. His touch alone was enough to unravel me. His hands roamed my body with desire.

I wanted him to push me to the edge, to make me scream his name and whisper my feelings into his ear. We hurriedly shed our clothes, as if time was running out.

But in that moment, it felt like we had all the time in the world. A sweet lie passion spun for us.

He wasn’t shy about expressing his pleasure, and it drove me wild. Our bodies slick with sweat, we wrung every last bit of pleasure from each other.

Like the end of a beautiful poem, we clung to each other until our bodies gave out. His head rested on my chest, my slow heartbeat lulling him to sleep.

But my mind was restless. I played with his hair, gently stroking it. He twitched occasionally, murmuring in his sleep.

He wasn’t a peaceful sleeper. A single lamp was left on.

Just as I was about to turn off the light, I noticed a deep blue scarf hanging on the back of a chair. It looked familiar.

It was just a scarf. Just a piece of cloth. I used to have one just like it.

I wore it every day. I even had it in my dream, wrapping his hand with it. He never gave it back in my dream.

But why had I stopped wearing it?