Chapter 136: Book 2 Chapter 41.2: The Part Where Things Get Bad

The rhythmic tapping of Harley’s wrench against the desktop might have been annoying in other circumstances. Right now it was just unnerving. The usually unflappable Harley being so nervous made the rest of them nervous in turn. While she tapped away, Vell scooted a little closer to Lee.

“Have you ever seen her like this before?” he asked, his voice a low whisper.

“No, never,” Lee said. “Even her first loop didn’t have her this stressed.”

The persistent tapping of Harley’s wrench came to a sudden stop, and Vell immediately checked the time. They were only moments away from when Pradav should be showing up. After nearly five-hundred apocalypses, Vell had never expected to feel so much stress over a single zombie. It was almost a relief when the door finally slammed open and Pradav strolled through, stopping in his tracks as soon as he saw Harley.

“Harley. I should’ve guessed you’d be loitering instead of working.”

“Pradav. Should’ve guessed you’d come back from the dead and go right to stealing my shit,” Harley snapped back. Pradav chuckled, and the sound shook out of his half-rotted throat like a dusty rattle.

“Glad to see all these years haven’t made you any more clever,” Pradav said. He walked up to Harley with his two drones in tow. “Can we skip the usual banter and get right to the part where you give me my work?”

“It’s my work, and you’re not going to lay a bony finger on it,” Harley said. She had collected all of her scattered notes and blueprints to better safeguard them from Pradav. She tapped her hand on a bookbag on her workbench.

“Stubborn as usual,” Pradav said. “Unit 2O2?”

With a swift, mechanical jerk, the combat drone thrust one of its limbs out and snatched the bookbag right off the workbench. Harley tried to snatch it back, missed, and then got held back by the combat drone as Pradav began to rifle through the bag. He drew out a sheaf of papers, examined them for a second, and then sighed so deeply his exposed bones shook.

“Really?”

Pradav threw the papers down, exposing various crudely drawn penises and a plethora of expletive-laden phrases. Across the room, Himiko stifled a giggle. Harley shrugged.

“What can I say, aggravating you is my specialty.”

“Indeed. Unfortunately for you, I no longer have any reason to be patient. Unit 2O3?”

The other combat drone stepped up and pulled it’s arm back.

“What are you going to do, search the whole desk? Not there-”

There were only a few things that could stop Harley mid-taunt. One of them was a punch to the face.

It was not the first time she’d been punched in the face by a robot, but it managed to catch Harley off guard regardless. She got knocked off her stool and fell backwards, spinning from the blow and landing on her face.

“Harley!”

Lee snapped to her side in an instant, helping Harley to get off the ground -and stem the tide of blood pouring out of her nose.

“Huh,” Harley said, staring at the puddle of crimson in her palm as she pulled her hand away from her nose. Not only was her nose bleeding, the robot’s metal knuckle had made a deep gash in her lip. “That’s not supposed to happen this time around.”

“Don’t talk, dear, tilt your head back,” Lee said. She took a moment to glare hatefully at Pradav before pulling some medical supplies from her purse and focusing entirely on Harley. That left the scolding to others.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Dean Lichman, acting on his magical compulsion to protect his students, thundered through the door in an instant. Pradav just rolled his eyes and got back to searching Harley’s lab.

“Whoever you are, you need to leave immediately,” Dean Lichman said. Pradav didn’t even move. “If you don’t comply soon, I will have you escorted off this island by force.”

Pradav continued to not comply, and Dean Lichman immediately pulled out his phone to activate the school’s security drones. His activation code went unheeded.

“How are the Model 35t’s, by the way?” Pradav said with a chuckle. “Still running hardware I designed?”

The two undead stared at each other for a moment. Dean Lichman was the first to turn away, and check on Harley’s bloody face.

“You students should get out of here,” the Dean said. “I’ll find a way to handle him.”

“Right. Let’s...let’s go, Harley.”

Lee and Vell got on either side of Harley and helped her to her feet before backing her out of the lab.

“I’ll get what I want, Harley,” Pradav snapped, as they fled. “The only question is how much pain you put yourself and your friends through before I get it.”

The two drones postured menacingly in the group’s direction as they fled. Nobody said a word until they were back in Lee’s dorm, at which point everyone clustered around Harley.

“Are you alright?”

Harley mumbled something inaudible through the cloth Lee was holding to her face before pushing Lee’s hand away and repeating herself.

“I’m fine,” Harley said, as a fresh trickle of blood dripped down her chin. “I’ve been hit harder.”

“Perhaps truthful, but very irrelevant,” Sarah said. “Are you okay, Harley?”

When even Sarah’s odd cadence gave way to genuine and direct concern, Harley knew it had to be bad. She brushed some more blood off her face and shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Wouldn’t say no to a nurse.”

“We’ve got her,” Himiko said, offering an over sized metal shoulder for Harley to lean on. “We can make sure there’s no fuckery with the medical bots.”

“And you can do that thing you do where you solve every problem,” Kanya said, as she took Harley’s other arm. Lee didn’t let go just yet.

“Harley-”

“You can figure this out,” Harley mumbled. Then she saw the look in Lee’s eyes and made herself clearer. “You can figure something else out.”

Sarah opened the door, and the other two roboticists escorted Harley through it, out of sight. Vell and Lee exchanged a look of concern, both of them trying to mask their fear for the other’s sake. It didn’t work for either of them.

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Lee made it all the way to the beach before realizing she still had Harley’s blood on her hand. That unnerved her in several ways. While she was used to literal gallons of gore on the first loop, she’d never seen so much blood on a second loop. The fact that it was Harley’s made it all the more upsetting. Lee took a few steps closer to the shore and stuck her hand in the water, letting the blue waves wash away the crimson.

“Hey, careful with that, you’re going to attract sharks.”

Lee jumped up and scanned the area, seeing nothing and no one. At least on land.

“Down here. In the ocean.”

Lee looked down and saw a small mackerel waving a fin at her from the surface of the water.

“Oh. Hello. Are you Wish Fish?”

“I see my reputation precedes me,” Wish Fish said. “That’s me.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Lee said. In spite of the circumstances, she maintained a polite demeanor. “Kim has spoken of you from time to time.”

“Only good things, I hope,” Wish Fish said. “Lee, right? Kim talks about you too. Weird that we haven’t been introduced before now.”

It was strange, but then, Wish Fish had been doing it deliberately. Not all of Kim’s friends were as naive as Kim herself. Lee, though, seemed like she could be pushed in the right direction. In another world, Wish Fish’s plan might have targeted Lee. She had power, and more importantly, she had flaws and insecurities that could be exploited.

“While it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’m afraid you’ve caught me at a bad time,” Lee sighed.

“I can tell,” Wish Fish said. “Take a seat. I’ve been told I’m a good listener for a guy with no ears.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Lee took a seat. Kim apparently confided in this fish, after all, so Lee saw no harm in venting. She recapped the situation and let Wish Fish bob in the waves attentively as her recap started to turn into a rant, which turned into a rage.

“And the most infuriating part of it all is, we have a way to stop him,” Lee said. She’d already recapped the details about Joan’s dementia on-switch earlier, but it sprang back to mind at the very end of the rant. “But we can’t -we shouldn’t use it. Harley doesn’t want to, at least, and Harley’s the person who’s going to get hurt most!”

“Hmm. Sounds like the usual.”

Lee looked down crosseyed at the small mackerel.

“‘The usual?’”

“Oh, well, this is just kind of a recurring thing in your guys’ lives, from what Kim’s told me,” Wish Fish said. “Kraid, the Board of Directors, Pradav...your dad.”

Lee’s fist clenched tight around a handful of sand so tightly it nearly turned to sandstone right then and there.

“Seems like your life is just an endless parade of shitty old dudes showing up, doing whatever they want, and leaving you guys to clean up the mess and deal with all the pain while they get off scot-free.”

“That’s...not inaccurate,” Lee admitted.

“Now, I don’t want to sound vindictive or something,” Wish Fish said. “But me, I don’t see why you put up with it. I think it’s about time one of these bad guys dealt with the consequences of their own actions, you know?”

The waves washed traces of blood back up around Lee’s heels as she stared at the water.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe. I’ve got no stake in it, after all. Not my board, not my game,” Wish Fish said. “Nice meeting you, but I got to get moving, Lee. Hope this Pradav guy gets what’s coming to him.”

Without waiting for a goodbye, Wish Fish dipped beneath the water, out of sight, swimming just far enough away that he could be sure Lee lost track of him. From his hidden vantage point, he saw Lee continue staring at the water for a while -and then stand, with one hand gripping her phone tightly.

“When this all works out, I really got to give myself some lips,” Wish Fish said to himself. “I got a lot of mischievous grinning to catch up on.”

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“I am unconvinced of the validity of again meeting Pradav,” Sarah said. “Repeating actions that have face-punching results is rarely smart.”

“I’ll stay arms length away this time, I’m not an idiot,” Harley said. Some medical magic had mostly fixed her blood nose and busted lip, but the damage was still evident. “Somebody’s got to keep him from figuring out Botley’s brain. At the very least I can aggravate him enough to slow him down.”

“You do know how to aggravate people,” Himiko said.

“Right? And I’ll actually be doing it on purpose this time,” Harley said. “I can buy us a few days to figure out a plan. And I’ll probably only get punched one or two more times.”

“Well don’t sound so excited about it,” Kanya said. Harley was being remarkably cavalier about getting her face busted multiple times.

“It’s better than the alternative, alright?”

“What alternative?”

Harley didn’t answer that, but the universe answered it for her. Four roboticists meeting two undead in a hallway sounded like the start to a bad joke, but Harley didn’t find anything funny about Dean Lichman escorting a very confused looking Pradav down the hallway.

“Dean. What’s going on?”

“Well, I had been spending some time attempting to convince this man to leave the campus,” Dean said. “But midway through a somewhat heated conversation he started to get very confused. I was just escorting him to the medical lab.”

“Harley?” Pradav said. His eyes were distant and confused until he latched on to Harley’s voice. “I thought I’d be rid of you during the school year.”

Harley frowned so hard the cut on her lip split open again. She knew that look.

“Do you know what happened?” Dean Lichman asked.

“Yeah, I know,” Harley snapped. “Get him to medical. I’ll catch up.”

Dean Lichman figured now was not the time to ask questions and escorted Pradav away. Harley dug out her phone and started scrolling madly through her contacts list.

“Where is- I don’t have Joan’s number, why would I have Joan’s number,” Harley said. “Vell!”

Harley stormed off, leaving her friends behind to wonder what exactly she was on about.

“Asking is something she could have done,” Sarah said. “I have Joan’s number.”

“Sarah, you have literally never talked to Joan.”

“And?”

“I don’t get you,” Himiko said, for the hundredth time.

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“So Einstein, Edison, and now this Pradav guy are all undead,” Hawke said. “Are there any other undead geniuses I should know about?”

“Well…”

Vell scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t know if he’d call himself a genius, but he was definitely technically undead. All the loopers were, in a way.

Contemplation of their mortal status was interrupted by Harley making an even more explosive entrance than usual. Hawke very nearly jumped out of his seat, and Lee froze in hers. Harley didn’t even glance at either of them and made a beeline for Vell.

“Vell, I need your phone.”

“Okay.”

He didn’t question why, at least not at first. He’d barely gotten the phone out of his pocket when Harley snatched it right out of his hands, and that made him start wondering what was going on.

“Harley-”

She violently shushed him and finished her call. It didn’t take long for Joan to pick up.

“Hey Ve-”

“What the fuck did you do?”

It took a second for Joan to answer. Even through the phone, that shout made her ears ring.

“I don’t know! Nothing? I think?” She said. “Did some old experiment of mine-”

“I mean to Pradav! You broke his brain again!”

“What? I couldn’t do that from here if I wanted to,” Joan said. “I mean, I told Lee about it, but- oh.”

If Joan said anything after that, Harley didn’t hear it. She set the phone down on the table and stared across it at Lee.

“What did you do?”

“Exactly what it looks like,” Lee said, though her voice was shaking. “I saved you and Botley from a psychopath. You’re welcome.”

“Lee, this is the one thing I didn’t want to happen!”

“And the one thing I didn’t want to happen is you getting hurt,” Lee said. “If I have to hurt a lunatic to protect my friends, I’ll do it. Every time.”

“I know you meant well, but-”

While Harley was starting to be conciliatory, Lee suddenly felt anything but.

“Now hold on,” Lee said. “Why is it some screaming, unforgivable thing when you thought Joan did it, but now that it’s me, it’s ‘I know you meant well’?”

Harley didn’t answer that. Lee glared silently, expecting a response that wasn’t coming quickly enough.

While they stared each other down, Vell sprung into action and grabbed both Hawke and Kim by the collars, dragging them out of the room without a word and slamming the door shut behind them.

“Let’s let them have a talk,” Vell said.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Oh, yeah, they can hash this out, no problem.”

From the shut door, all three could hear the muffled sounds of shouting.

“Didn’t we soundproof that?” Hawke asked.

“Harley can get very loud,” Vell said.

Another muffled shout bellowed out from behind the door.

“That sounded more like Lee,” Kim noted.

“Well, she can get loud too...presumably,” Vell said. He’d never really heard her raise her voice before, but it was hypothetically possible.

“Vell, are you sure you shouldn’t be in there?” Hawke asked. “Kind of sounds like they could use a mediator.”

“Look, I know it sounds bad, but Lee and Harley are best friends,” Vell said. “They can work this out. One argument isn’t the end of the world.”

“That is a spectacularly poor choice of words for us,” Kim said.

With one final, emphatic and entirely unheard shout, the door slammed open again. Harley stormed out, red in the face, and stomped away down the hall without a word. Vell tried to check on Lee, but the door slammed shut and locked tight before he could get through it. When he tried the door handle, he found it icy cold -frozen in place and sealed shut.

“That’s, uh…”

“That’s not good.”

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“I just don’t get it! Like, Lee and Harley of all people I thought really cared about each other, but one dumb fight and that’s it!”

It had been hours now, and nobody had been able to reach Harley or Lee to try and smooth over the situation. Everyone else had long since gone to bed to ‘sleep on it’, but Kim neither wanted nor needed to sleep. What she did want to do was yell at a fish about her problems. It was past midnight, the start of a new day, but she was still ranting. Wish Fish, for his part, was doing a great job pretending to be surprised at the problems he’d caused.

“Wow, and so close to the end of school, too,” Wish Fish said. “Stewing on an argument like that over summer break is not going to be pretty.”

“I know! I just- I don’t even get it,” Kim said. “What was so important they needed to fight over it like that?”

“Well, humans are peculiar like that,” Wish Fish said. “Full of little preferences and beliefs they’re willing to fight over, for some reason.”

“Yeah. That makes sense,” Kim said. The reminder of her own inhumanity further soured her already bad mood, just as Wish Fish intended. “Guess it’s something I’ll never understand.”

Wish Fish could barely stop himself from leaping for joy. Everything had come together so much more easily than he ever could have hoped. He’d been expecting to have to spend another school year working on Kim, pushing her in the right direction, but here she was, emotionally shattered and immensely vulnerable. A perfect opportunity to put into action a plan a year in the making.

“You know, Kim, on that note, some friends and I have been putting something together for a while,” Wish Fish said. “You remember that conversation we had about wishes?”

“Yeah. You used to be able to grant them, right?”

“Well, ‘used to’ might not be the right word. We’ve been gathering up some magic, you know, stockpiling things for when the time is right, and we’ve been hoping to try again…”

Kim narrowed her eyes and stared down at the waves.

“What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying, Kim, is: Make a wish.”

The waves crashed around Kim’s heels. She stared down at her own distorted reflection in the waves.

“I wish-"