âGlad to see that everythingâs in order, Excy.â
Harley watched Lee carefully as Noel Burrows spoke, but she didnât even twitch. She just continued sipping at her tea, raising and lowering her cup with the same clockwork motions as always.
Leeâs father had dropped by for what he had horrifyingly promised would be the first of many visits. Now that Lee was in her last year at the Einstein-Odinson College, his overbearing urge to exploit her had redoubled. He had just finished inspecting her dorm room, even though it was the exact same room heâd forced her to live in for the past three years. Harley and Vell had tagged along to ease Leeâs emotional burdens, but they could only do so much.
âNow, do you remember everything you need to get done this year?â
âFirst priority, negotiate with Vell Harlan for a Roentgen research contract,â Lee said.
âAgain flattered, but no thank you,â Vell said. He mightâve considered taking a job with Roentgen, provided he was allowed to work with Lee, but the more time he spent with Noel Burrows, the less and less he could tolerate the idea. Noel wanted the rune on his back, and Vell didnât trust him to use the power of Quenay responsibly. Vell barely trusted him to use a pen responsibly.
âSecondly, build a functioning oceanic ley harvester,â Lee said. Noel casually glossed past Vellâs polite refusal, and over the fact people had been trying to build an oceanic ley harvester for decades and never succeededâtechnically. Siphoning mana from the oceans was easy, doing it without also siphoning mana from the living microorganisms inside the ocean was the hard part. Noel Burrows was no stranger to siphoning mana from living things, as Joanâs family could very angrily attest, but doing so with ocean life would cause a catastrophic chain reaction eventually leading into a mass extinction event that would fully sterilize the planet. Even Noel wasnât stupid enough to do that. Barely.
âAnd thirdly, find a well connected husband,â Lee said. It was a testament to her herculean self-control that she maintained perfect poise while saying that. Not only was Lee entirely uninterested in marrying for the sake of her fatherâs company, she was entirely uninterested in men as a gender.
âGot the old Burrows memory, I see,â Noel said. âLike a steel trap.â
Noel Burrows had repeated the three points exactly four minutes ago. Harley hadnât forgotten them yet, and she was actively trying to.
âNow, time for me to leave, I have to go make some recruitment calls with the other seniors,â Noel said. âGet cracking, XL-X8! Only a year to go!â
Noel turned on his heel and left without so much as a wave goodbye. Lee held her teacup in her hands for a minute after he had left, and then hurled it into the nearest wall as hard as she could. Vell fetched a broom and dust pan to sweep up the vaporized teacup while Lee grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.
âI will never understand how you can keep a straight face around that dude,â Harley said.
âA lifetime of practice,â Lee said. âAnd a goal to look forward to.â
One day Lee would inherit her fatherâs company, and all the years of bullshit would finally pay off as she burned it to the ground. The dream of that day helped keep her sane while she pretended to tolerate her fatherâs narcissistic stupidity.
âStill. His insistence that I get married off is becoming more and more grating.â
âOh yeah. Just spitballing something here, what if you pretended to marry Vell? Itâd get him off both your backs, for sure, and keeps Vell on hand to keep you sane.â
âNo offense to you, Vell dear, but Iâd rather not.â
âNone taken. Iâm not, uh, violently opposed to the idea, so if itâs get married or get you disowned...maybe,â Vell said. âBut Iâd also like to have a dating life.â
âNot even in an emergency,â Lee said. âAgain, nothing to do with Vell, but with marriage then comes the pressure to produce an âheirâ. Ugh.â
Lee shuddered at the very thought of it.
âIf I have to sit through a conversation about sex with my father Iâll rip my own ears off. And possibly beat him to death with them afterwards.â
âLee. Impulse control.â
âRight. Iâll stop at ripping my own ears off.â
âBetter.â
As part of preparing for her inevitable departure from the college, Lee was trying to get a little better at controlling some of her violent fantasies about her parents. Soon she would be in less like-minded company, and openly fantasizing about committing patricide would get her much more than some worried looks from friends.
âAt any rate, I should have no need of pointless distractions for my father,â Lee said. âIâll produce something of substance for him.â
âIâm not signing any contracts either,â Vell said.
âNot that one!â
âOh, the ley harvester then? You think you can pull that off?â
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
âI have a good concept for it already,â Lee said. âIt might take some doing, but Iâll have a good start this year.â
âWell you just say the word if you need a hand, boss,â Harley said, and Vell echoed the sentiment.
âThank you both. As ever. Iâll try not to let it take up too much time,â Lee said. âWe do have quite a bit of work to do in other areas.â
âDonât remind me,â Vell mumbled.
âSpeaking of, is Quenay hanging out over your shoulder right now?â
âNope,â Vell said. Even though others could not see or hear the conversations Quenay had with him, Vell tried to make his friends aware when the mysterious Goddess of Life was hanging around. Heâd been a little worried that her stealthy appearances would make him sound insane, but Lee and Harley had never doubted him for a second.
âAre you comfortable with her following you around like that?â
âShe has been surprisingly chill about it so far,â Vell said. Even amusing, at times. âAnd Iâm kind of hoping if she hangs around enough, Iâll learn something about this game of hers.â
âYou think the meaning of life is hiding in a knock knock joke she likes?â
âCanât hurt,â Vell said. âBest way to learn about the meaning of life is to live it, I guess.â
That, and Vell had absolutely no better plans. Traditional scientific methods werenât much good when scouting Gods and other unseen forces. Sitting back and hoping Quenayâs strange appearances gave him another clue seemed like the best option.
âThat reminds me,â Vell said. âSheâs already given one thing away.â
âRight. Butterfly Guy.â
Harley glanced out the window at two hourglass-shaped purple butterflies resting on the windowsill. One of the butterflies had been shadowing Vell for years, though up until his first year of classes heâd never regarded them as anything but ordinary butterflies. That assumption, like most assumptions in Vellâs life, had proven to be wildly inaccurate. Not only was the butterfly a portentious omen of historical significance, it was also locked in time, perfectly identical and unchanging no matter where or when it appearedâor how many of it appeared at once. There had been three of the butterflies earlier, and more and more seemed to be showing up every day.
âAnything new on that front?â
âWell, no,â Vell said. Theyâd done some cursory research on âButterfly Guyâ and found nothing but a few very enthusiastic lepidopterists. Vell had gotten some very lovely photos of Blue Morphoâs out of that search, but not much else. âI just wanted to bring it up again. See if you guys had anything.â
âI got nothing,â Harley admitted.
âNor I.â
âAlrighty then, as usual weâre working with nothing,â Vell said.
âWeâve done more with less,â Harley said.
âLess than nothing?â
âYou know what I mean,â she snapped. âLetâs do some fucking science about it!â
âIâm on board,â Lee said. âWeâll entrust the Quenay dilemma to you, Vell, while we work on the issue of the butterflies together.â
âOkay, sounds like a plan,â Vell said. Last year he had learned the hard way he was too passive in his personal journey, and aimed to correct that. âWhat do we do first?â
âI just had an idea, actually,â Harley said. âWhat if we just tried to catch one?â
âCatch one?â
âYeah. Like in a net. Theyâre butterflies, you can catch them in a net.â
All three looked at the butterflies resting on the windowsill, and then at each other, then back at the butterflies.
âThe entomology department might have some nets we can borrow,â Lee said. âIâll talk to Dr. Boniventure.â
----------------------------------------
âHaving fun?â
Luke had been walking across the campus with his boyfriend when Lee had come sprinting around the corner, net in hand, and almost immediately tripped over her own feet. A purple butterfly fluttered away while Lee picked herself up out of the dirt.
âNot entirely, dear,â she admitted. âThis is in the interests of science.â
Vell was next to come sprinting around the corner, followed shortly thereafter by Harley, both hot on the heels of another butterfly.
âCertainly looks scientific,â Luke said.
Heedless of his casual criticism, Vell and Harley sprinted on.
âStop running so fast, youâre scaring it!â
âDr. Bon wants these nets back, and I donât want to have to borrow them again,â Vell said. He took a swing at the floating butterfly and missed. âI canât handle more âbrowsing the netâ jokes!â
Vell had a low tolerance for bad jokes, and Dr. Boniventureâs were among the worst. He took another swing at the fleeing butterfly and only narrowly missed it.
âAlmost got it,â Vell said. âAlmost got it!â
Summoning his last reserves of stamina, Vell made a mad dash towards the butterfly and swung his net down hard. The net swung down over the butterfly and then hit the ground with a muted thump far too anticlimactic for the circumstances. Vell held the net in place and beamed in triumph.
âGot it!â
âGood going, bud!â
Vell shot a quick thumbs up back at Harley and then kept his eyes on the butterfly net.
âUh. Now what?â
âNow we put in a jar, or something,â Harley said. âMaybe we shouldâve thought of step two first.â
âI wasnât even sure weâd get this far, frankly,â Vell said.
âAre you saying this was a bad idea?â
âNo, obviously, I just, uhâ¦â
While Vell struggled to explain himself. Luke took a quick look at the butterfly net. The thin structure of the netting had almost entirely collapsed in on itselfâand the structure of the netâs handle was also starting to bend inward slightly.
âUh, Vell,â Luke said. The net warped even more as Luke spoke. âMaybe take a step back.â
âWhy, whatâs up with the-â
Vell turned around and looked back at the net just in time to watch it explode., then implode, then explode again. For a moment, there was nothing but a small black orb, then the orb turned itself inside out and became a hole in reality, through which Vell caught the faintest glimpse of three shining blue lights. The image lasted only a moment before the orb collapsed in on itself again, and vanished entirely. Where there had once been a net, and a butterfly, there was now just a patch of brown dirt and a handle with nothing attached to it.
âVell. Why did your butterfly net make a localized wormhole?â
âIs that what that was?â
Luke nodded. As the gangâs resident physicist, he knew a wormhole when he saw one. Even when he saw one that had apparently been created by a butterfly.
âUh...I think our Butterfly Guy doesnât like having his pets captured.â
âButterfly Guy?â
âLong story, weâll get you up to speed later if you want,â Lee said. âLuke, if we could recreate that wormhole phenomenon, could we hypothetically travel through it, to whateverâs on the other side?â
âAt that size, for that long?â Luke said. âNot a chance in hell. We could maybe send some kind of signal probe, though, and then track that, find out where exactly the other end is.â
âHah! Science,â Harley said. âCan we get started right away?â
âWell, we need to wait a little while,â Vell said.
âWhy?â
Vell produced the stumpy handle of his former net.
âIf weâre going to be destroying these things with wormholes, weâre buying our own nets,â Vell said. âThese are school property.â
The march of science waited for no man, but it did wait for ethically acquired butterfly nets.