"Why don't men lactate?"
I sit in the family room, sprawled on the couch and completely wiped out from preparing for the arrival of nineteen thirteen-year-old boys. The quick decision to order pizzas from Elliott was a big help. Sadly, I didn't order enough pizzas and the young teens became feisty with me, demanding food and drink and entertainment.
Sorry, boys, this isn't a five-year-olds birthday party and the closest thing we have for a clown is Ethan Kennedy wearing makeup.
"Why are boys so dumb?" Crystal asks as we listen in on their conversations in the kitchen while eating all the groceries I bought less than ten hours ago.
"What does lack-lackdate mean?" Ethan asks, struggling to pronounce the word.
"Shh," I shush him by placing my hand over his mouth. "I have to hear this."
"I think it's because the milk we drink goes to our bones and not to our boobs."
Elliott walks downstairs in just sweatpants that hang low on his hips, a towel in his hands as he dries his wet hair. I try my best not to stare, remembering that I am in a room full of nineteen kids and counting. He sits next to Rose on the couch and puts an arm over her shoulder's.
"Why are there twenty teenagers in my kitchen talking about boobs while eating my cheese sticks?"
"I told Ivy she should kick them all out," Crystal says. "The moment the movie theater butter was put in the microwave was the moment things got out of control!"
"Look, I was the one who told Jonas to hang out with the guys from the team. Yes, I didn't tell him to invite them all over at once, but at least he invited them. He hasn't had a friend over besides Jett in weeks."
"You've never had a friend over," Ethan says, poking my cheek.
I smile. "I'm working."
"She also doesn't have any friends to invite over," Elliott teases.
I roll my eyes, even though I'm unable to deny it. There aren't too many friends who I would just call and ask to hang out, unless it was a group thing. The whole one-on-one friendship thing is uncomfortable for me. I just hate that Elliott- or any of the kids for that matter- can so easily use it against me.
"Hey, Ivy, can I talk to you for a second?" Jonas asks as he walks into the family room, fiddling with his fingers.
"Sure, traitor," I mutter and stand to follow him just around the corner. "What's up?"
"The guys want to have a sleepover here.. Are you cool with that?"
"Am I cool with that? Hm. Gee, I honestly don't know. Hey, guys," I pause to walk into the family room, "am I cool with having nineteen thirteen-year-old strangers spend the night at the house?"
"Um, no!" Crystal nearly screams, a chorus of "no"s following her.
"My people have spoken," I say and gesture around the room.
Jonas sighs. "Please, Ivy. It's important to me. Things are going so well. I-I'm fitting in."
I bite my lip, noting the pure excitement and enjoyment on his face. I haven't seen this yet this summer, other than the first few days. It hasn't been the same since Darren and the bullying, and I just don't want to be the one who takes this enjoyment way.
"Fine."
"Ivy!" Crystal and Rose scream at the same time.
Ethan stands up from the couch to chuck a pillow at the floor. "I want a refund!"
Elliott joins in on the fun and throws one of the decorative books at the ground, smirking all the while.
Jonas jumps forward to give me a hug. "Thank you so, so, so, so much! I promise we'll be well-behaved and there will be no funny business whatsoever! Thank you! You're the best nanny ever!"
"I know, I know," I say and back away from the hug. "But I'm not in charge of everyone, okay? You are. And if anyone gets slightly out of control, this whole party is over. Got it?"
He salutes me before running into the kitchen and yelling, "it's party time!"
Then nineteen boys start banging on the kitchen table and hooting out to show their excitement.
Crystal shakes her head and up walks to me. "I hope you know what you've done. Rosie, let's go upstairs."
Rose slides off the couch to follow her sister, patting Elliott's knee before going. Ethan panics and runs after his sisters, but not until he picks up the pillow he threw earlier. I ruffle his hair as he passes, realizing that I have less worries about the preschooler than the group of teenagers.
"So, are you going out tonight?" I ask Elliott, sitting back down on the couch.
"Nope. Flynn and I had plans, but I don't think that'll happen." He rubs the bottom of his chin with his palm. "Plus, I'm pretty excited for tonight."
"Do you live for my dismay, Elliott?"
"Pretty much," he jokes. "I mean, you have to admit that it's funny. Twenty teenage boys get to spend the night in the same house as a hot nanny. I can't imagine what a blast truth or dare will be tonight."
I shake my head, trying to hide the stupid blush forming on my cheeks from the "hot nanny" comment. "Be quiet."
"I'm just being honest. My mom makes me stay at Flynn's whenever Addison has sleepovers for that very reason."
"Really?"
"Dead serious. One time, this girl Brianna snuck into my room while I was sleeping and got in bed with me. If you could only imagine how freaked I was waking up to her smiling at me with this creepy look in her eye. It was like a scene out of a horror movie."
I laugh as I picture the whole thing. "Well, now I'm kind of scared for my safety tonight."
"Don't worry. I'll stay up with you until they fall asleep."
I smile, appreciating how sweet Elliott is being in this moment. "Thank you. But I should warn you that I'm," I pause to lift my hand and separate my thumb and pointer finger by less than a centimeter, "this close to passing out."
He laughs and stands up from the couch, going around the corner into the kitchen. The group of boys goes silent while Elliott's in there. I sit in amusement as I wait for his return. Ten minutes pass before Elliott comes back holding two mugs with steam blowing out in his hands. He hands me a mug,
"Coffee at seven at night?" I ask unsurely and place the mug on the coffee table in the middle of the room.
"Look, unless you want six of your bras to go missing and possibly wake up shirtless, I think it's best to have as much caffeine in your system as possible." He pushes the mug closer to me on the table. "I can't fend off twenty boys by myself."
I cross my arms over my chest at his comment, horrified at the possibility. "I don't even like coffee." Nonetheless, I take a huge gulp of the caffeinated drink. "But I did just buy brand new bras before the summer and I can't afford to risk it."
Elliott sips his drink with a smile, his eyes locked on mine. "You know, I never went to sleep at sleepovers."
"Why not?" I ask.
"Trust issues, I guess," he laughs. "Teenagers are mean and who knew what I'd end up with drawn on my forehead with permanent marker."
I nod. "So, what would you do while everyone else was sleeping?"
"I'd draw penises and boobs on their foreheads," he says as if the answer was obvious.
I laugh, tilting my head back and closing my eyes. With my eyes on the ceiling, I try to think of the right thing to say that will keep the conversation alive. It's a lot harder to think in this moment, especially when Elliott is shirtless. "I've never been to a sleepover."
"Yeah, right." He rolls his eyes. "Every human being has been to a sleepover."
I shrug. "Well, I'm not an alien and I've never been to a sleepover. I mean, unless you include the times I've slept over while babysitting."
"That so doesn't count. I can't believe you've never been to a sleepover," he says, his voice becoming more serious. "Do you really not have any friends?"
"I have friends," I mumble. "I'm just not super close with any of them. I don't have a Flynn. And I was usually working on the weekends anyway, so I could never go to the ones I was invited to."
He stares at me in amazement. "I honestly feel guilty about making fun of you for not having friends. I meant it as a joke, but clearly it isn't one."
"I have friends!" I repeat.
"Not really!" he exclaims.
I start to feel offended and just want to change the topic as quickly as possible. Luckily, the kids come running down and ask to watch a movie. I agree to let them pick out a PG movie as long as they go to bed immediately after. They end up deciding on Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. I'm not too against it, remembering that I laughed while watching the first movie when I took Mikey to see it back when it came out.
After putting Bethany to bed, I go to make a bag of movie theater popcorn in the kitchen. Jonas and his friends are in the backyard playing soccer, cheering anytime someone scores or screaming every time someone deserves a foul. I'm praying we don't get any complaints from the neighbors, especially Mrs. Washington.
Heading back into the family room with a bowl of popcorn, I see that everyone has piled on the couch. Rose sits in Elliott's lap, Crystal next to them, and Ethan next to Crystal. I sit by Ethan and hand the bowl of popcorn to Crystal, who has a smile wider than the Amazon river.
"I don't understand what's happening," Elliott announces half way through the movie.
"Well, you're an idiot," Crystal mutters.
I squeeze her arm lightly. "Hey, be nice."
"It's just the same plot as the first movie," Rose explains to her brother.
"There's another one of these movies?" he asks in complete shock.
"Are you trying to be a moron? Clearly this is the second movie hence the title Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Two! Second movie, genius!" Crystal exclaims. "Now, shut up and let me watch!"
Elliott looks at me with wide eyes. I shrug and turn to continue watching the movie. Ethan has already fallen asleep in my lap, his breathing heavy and slow. It restricts me from laughing along with everyone else, since I fear waking him up.
I like looking over to see Elliott laughing at the stupid, childish jokes, something that seems out of character for him. He has his arm resting on the couch, his hand inches from my face. Noted, he's still shirtless and it's still distracting me.
By the end of the movie, all the kids have fallen asleep. Elliott tells me that he'll carry them up to allow me to check up on the boys outside. Taking the empty popcorn bowl to the kitchen, I set it on the counter before going out the backdoor. A soccer ball whizzes past my head and I duck just in time.
"Sorry!" a kid yells, sheepishly raising his shoulders.
"Hey, do you guys need any sleeping bags or pillows?" I ask Jonas.
"No, everyone brought their stuff," Jonas says.
I raise an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that the sleepover was pre-planned?"
Jonas smiles innocently. "Oops."
"You so owe me after this," I mutter. "You guys are sleeping in the basement, right?" He nods. "Okay, good. Also, no truth or dare."
"What?"
"You heard me."
Three cups of coffee later, Elliott and I could not be any more awake. The boys are in the basement right now, playing ping-pong and whatnot. Elliott says we probably have another hour or so before they start playing truth or dare.
We're mindlessly watching TV right now, not sure of what else to do since the whole talking thing isn't our norm. Elliott has finally changed into a shirt, and I do have some mixed emotions. I decided it's for the better because this way my mind will actually function. Somehow, we ended up watching this dating show on MTV called Are You the One? I've never seen it, but Elliott says that he loves the show.
"Why would he say that?" I ask in horror. "That's just going to start drama!"
"This whole show is trashy drama," Elliott says with a laugh. "That's why Carter loves it."
I raise an eyebrow. "Do you usually watch this with Carter?"
"Yeah," he admits. "But that's not important or anything."
"Right." I watch him carefully to try to get a read. Something tells me that he cares about Carter a lot more than he's letting on. "I think she's really pretty."
"Who? Carter?"
"Yeah. I mean, I've only seen her twice and yeah."
"Twice? When else did you see her?" he asks interestedly.
"At Giano's," I answer, though I didn't include the part about her making out with her boyfriend.
"Oh," he breathes. "I didn't know she was there."
"She still had a black eye," I say. "In case you were wondering.
With the faintest of smiles, Elliott nods. Before he can respond, one of the boys walks out of the basement and to where we are in the family room. He looks nervous, his eyes darting around as he slowly approaches.
"Hey," Elliott greets him, looking at me.
"Uh.." He looks from Elliott to me and back to Elliott...and back to me. "Hey, Ivy."
"Hi," I say and hide a smile. "Can I help you with anything?"
"You-you.. You.." As he struggles to speak, Elliott and I share eye contact. "Y-you..I..um.. You have nice boobs!" He screams this before sprinting back into the basement where all of the other boys die with laughter.
I drop my jaw and look at Elliott. At the same moment, we both start laughing. It's all too amusing for me to even feel the slightest bit offended. I mean, obviously the poor boy didn't want to say it. He was shaking!
"What a way to start the night," Elliott sighs, his laughter dying down. "Do you need anything from the kitchen?"
"I'm good," I say and watch as he stands up to go to the kitchen.
While he's gone, Addison comes in through the front door. She sends me a smile before starting to go upstairs.
"Um, hey?"
She stops and walks behind one of the couches. "Sorry. Hey."
"So, what'd you do today?"
"I hung out at Brianna's," she says. "We went to the mall. I didn't find anything though."
"That sounds fun."
"Yeah, goodnight."
I sense her eagerness to get upstairs, which makes me more suspicious. "Why are you in such a rush?"
"I'm just tired," she responds.
"Addison," I pause, "I sense some weirdness between us and I can't help but think it has something to do with Mike. Am I crazy?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
I sigh. "I was starting to feel like you were my little sister these past weeks, but now you've been really distant. What's wrong?"
"It's not you," she says. "It's me."
I laugh, "what's next? Are you going to tell me that you still want to be friends?"
"Ivy, I'm just having a hard time with the Mike thing because of this English poem he did last year."
"What poem?" I ask, not having any recollection of Mikey telling me about a poem.
"He wrote this beautiful poem about his babysitter, who is also his best friend and the first person aside from his parents who he loved. He made this analogy between poison ivy and true love. He spoke so passionately about you that the whole class was blown away. We were all jealous of this girl he was talking about. I just.. I didn't realize he was talking about you."
"Addison, Mike's love for me is a sister love," I promise. "You can't think of it as anything more."
"But it is more, Ivy," she sighs. "You just don't realize it because you don't see Mike in the way he sees you. He doesn't just love you; he is in love with you."
I try to comprehend what she's telling me. Mikey isn't in love with me. He can't be. I'm his big sister and he's my little brother. It has always been that way. I'd consider him my best friend, as embarrassing as that may be to admit. I trust him with my life, but for him to be in love with me is out of the question. It wouldn't make any sense.
"Did Mike tell you this?"
"Of course not. He'd just deny it," she sighs. "If you read that poem, Ivy, you'd know."
I shake my head, still in disbelief. "Look, I'll talk to Mike about it and-"
"No! You can't. Well, you just can't let him know it was me who told you any of that. He'll just think of me as a jealous girlfriend, which I'm not. I'm just not comfortable with living in the same house as the girl my boyfriend truly loves."
"Addison, he doesn't-"
"I can't believe they ate all of the damn cheese sticks," Elliott interrupts as he walks back into the family room with a bowl of cornflakes. He notices Addison and gives her a subtle head-nod.
"What's going on?" Addison asks, noticing how strange it is for Elliot and me to actually be spending time together.
I point to the basement door. "In there lies twenty thirteen-year-old boys who are in the middle of a heated game of truth or dare."
Addison's eyes widen. "Oh no!"
"Oh yes!" I shoot back.
"Some kid told Ivy she had nice boobs."
"Nice," Addison comments with a laugh. "I better go upstairs and lock my door before they realize I'm home. Good luck."
"Goodnight, Addison," I call as she walks upstairs, my stomach still uneasy after our conversation.
Elliott munches on his cornflakes, flipping through the channels to find a different show. After a few minutes of this, he shuts off the TV and tosses the remote to the side. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. What do you want to do?" I ask, acting like a fourth grader who secretly knows what they want to do but aren't sure if their friend wants to do the same thing during their playdate.
"Truth or dare?"
I roll my eyes. "Oh, funny."
"Come on. You've never been to a sleepover and I'm just trying to let you relive all the childhood memories you missed out on. Truth or dare?"
"Dare," I answer, a small smile on my face at the silliness of the game.
"Ah, shit. I thought you were going to say truth. Now I have to think of a dumb dare. Okay." He holds the sides of his head as he thinks about a dare. "I dare you to call Jake Acker and ask him on a date."
"Well, I'm not doing that," I say confidently. "I can't lead him on like that."
"Seriously? You're chickening out on the first dare. Remember, a drunk Jake Acker started spreading rumors about you. I think you're allowed to lead him on."
I sigh and pull out my phone, searching for Jake's contact number. After clicking on it, I wait for him to answer. Much to my relief, he didn't answer and I just had to leave a voicemail.
"Hi, Jake. It's Ivy Lynch. I'm just calling to ask you if you want to go on a date with me sometime. Call me back."
Elliott applauds me. "Alright. I pick truth."
I have to think for a bit. There are many questions I would like Elliott Kennedy to answer. One in particular sticks out in my mind, and I say it before I chicken out.
"What do you really think about Carter and her new boyfriend?"
He nods, licking his lips in thought. "Alright. Well, if I'm going to be completely honest with a girl I met only a few weeks ago, I'm hurt. That's right. Elliott Kennedy got his feelings hurt because he cared more about a girl than she cared about him. And it sucks."
"Yeah, that does suck," I say to sympathize with him. "I'm sorry."
"So, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Why don't you have any close friends?" he asks.
I cross my arms over my chest and cock my head to the side. "Elliott, I don't know that answer. How did you expect me to answer that?"
"There has to be a reason. Why do you think you don't?"
"Trust issues, I guess," I mumble, copying his response to before. "I don't know. I don't like letting people in."
"Okay. I believe you," he says honestly. "Why do you have a hard time letting people in?"
"I'm sorry, but I didn't realize I was having a date with Oprah!" I exclaim with a short laugh.
He rolls his eyes. "Come on, just answer. I'm getting to know the stranger that has been living in my house for the past few weeks!"
"That's a little too personal," I say with a frown.
"Fine. I'm sorry." He kicks his feet out onto the coffee table. "I'll go with a less personal question. What came first, the chicken or the egg?"
I shake my head, biting my tongue to hide back a smile. I don't know if Elliott is trying to win some type of charming contest right now, but he's doing pretty good at it. It's messing with my head. I know it's wrong to feel anything towards him. It'd be unprofessional and honestly unhealthy for me. I've witnessed his toxic behavior, so why am I getting sucked in right now?
We stop the truth or dare and move on to just talking. He tells me a little bit more about his relationship with Carter, the complex mess that it is. I tell him stories about gym class with Jake Acker. He shares memories of sleepovers with Flynn. I talk about Mikey, careful not to spill about his relationship with Addison. It's weird how comfortable I feel while talking to him.
"Ivy, can I kiss you for thirty seconds?"
Elliott chucks a pillow at the kid who asked me that, hitting him straight in the head. The boy mumbles a "okay then" and rushes back to the basement. This happens four more times before the boys are finally wiped out and lacking any originality.
By four in the morning, Elliott and I are too tired to move. The coffee hasn't worn off completely, only making me unable to sleep, not energetic. I think Elliott's the same way. We decide to turn on the TV and watch as many episodes of Family Feud we could until passing out.
"Hey, thanks for staying up with me," I say to Elliott, my voice groggy and tired.
"Best first sleepover ever."
~
AN:
alternative sentences that I wanted to write but knew we weren't developed enough:
Rosie sits in Elliott's lap, my preferred spot.
anyway
I haven't seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 so I had to read the synopsis on IMDb but then realized I didn't want to spoil anything for you guys or myself and ended up putting vague comments so !!!
also, do you guys watch are you the one? #teamcameron and #teamprosper am I right??
lol did anyone think Elliott asked Ivy if he could kiss her for thirty seconds because same
I really liked this chapter not going to lie it was fun to write and those are the best chapters to write I hope all of you laughed a little I mean... do men lactate???? comedy gold
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