I wake up in a random bed, which is never a good way to wake up. How much did I have to drink last night? My dress feels damp, sticking tight to my skin. That's when I remember jumping off the cliff.
Oh, the rush of it all. There is nothing to compare! I didn't know what would happen and for those thirty seconds I fell, I had nothing on my mind. I just thought of the water, what it would feel like to crash into it and sink down. I finally felt okay.
It was a little painful hitting the water, but the adrenaline rush took that off my mind. By the time I swam up to the surface, Elliott had already jumped in after me.
"Ivy, are you insane?" he asked, swimming to me. He started to laugh. "You look so creepy right now. Your mascara is smeared all over your face." He wiped under my eyes.
"Thanks. That's what I've always wanted to hear you say," I muttered, grabbing on to his shoulders for support.
The jump wore me out, so kicking under the water was getting difficult. Elliott didn't seem bothered at all. He didn't even seem annoyed with me like I was expecting. I had just jumped off a cliff and almost died after all.
"But I'm okay," I said out loud. "I know I'll be okay."
Looking around, I pretty quickly realize I'm in Yogi's room. The barely dressed girls on his wall. The beer bottles on the floor. The giant sign that reads Yogi's Room.
I stand up from the bed to go find Elliott. We came here last night for a party. I didn't want to go, but Elliott seemed really eager about the whole thing. It was to celebrate someone. I can't remember who it was. I drank a lot more at the party too.
"Hey, party girl."
I jump back in surprise when Carter walks out of the bathroom in the small hallway. "Geez! I think I just peed my pants!" Yes, I did just say that to my biggest competition.
She smiles, her perfect model teeth showing. "I am so sorry for popping out like that. Elliott told me how easily frightened you get."
"Right," I say and look down at my feet, always feeling lesser in her presence. "Do you know where Elliott is?"
"Yeah, he's in that room," she answers and points to the door across from the bathroom. "I think he's still sleeping though." She walks down the hallway to another room, her perfect model body swaying back and forth.
I nod, slightly ticked off that she would know where he is and whether he's awake or not. I walk into the room and find Elliott sleeping. His arm is thrown over the side of the bed, the blanket a mess over his body. He sleeps like a zoo animal. I sit on the floor with my back to the bed.
"Hey," I whisper when he sits up and stretches his long arms.
He looks down at me with a sweet smile, one that fills my heart completely. "Hey."
"How are you feeling?" I ask, remembering that he had even more drinks than me at the party last night.
"Like crap," he answers truthful and rubs under his eyes. "What time is it?"
"I have no idea," I say. "I want to get home soon. This stupid dress is going to give me a stupid wet rash."
He laughs and stands out of bed in just his briefs, confident enough to keep walking without even thinking about dressing. He waits for me at the door. I follow him, taking his hand in mine and walking through the hallway with him.
Yogi's house is one story, so all the rooms are closely connected. You can hear just about any one conversation from the opposite side of the house. He says that the best part is the lack of stairs because when he's really drunk, stairs can be "hard to handle."
In the kitchen that is just a stove and a microwave and a mini-fridge and a foldable chair in the corner, Elliott stops to look for food. He pulls out some grapes and two water bottles.
"This is as good as it'll get for now," he says. "We can stop at some breakfast place on the way home."
"It's too late for breakfast, kiddos!" Yogi practically screams as he stomps into the kitchen. "It's two in the afternoon."
Elliott almost chokes on one of his grapes. "It's two?"
"Yeah, man," Yogi answers. "Does something happen at two?"
"I was supposed to start work at one!" he yells frantically.
Yogi holds his head. "Hey, keep your voice down."
Elliott shoves Yogi in the chest before turning to me. "Ivy, I have to go to work right now. I'll call Flynn and tell him to pick you up, okay? I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay," I promise. "This is my fault. I feel bad."
"It's not. I was the one who wanted to go to the engagement party when you told me it wasn't a good idea." He kisses the top of my head. "Bye, Ives."
"Bye."
He runs through the house, reappearing in the kitchen with his clothes from last night. He kisses me again before leaving with a slam of the front door.
"He's so going to get fired," Yogi laughs.
I roll my eyes and push past him. There's a small family room next to the kitchen where a few passed out people are sprawled on the floor or the couch. I sit down at a free spot on the couch to wait for Flynn.
Next to me, Ted, the Target model, is snoring loudly. I get a flashback to the party, Ted making a speech. He stood on the top of the coffee table and lifted his beer high.
"To my ex," he said, looking down at Carter. "And to her new fiancé." He looked down at Jake Acker.
I spring up in the couch when the realization hits me. Carter and Jake are engaged. That's who we were celebrating! Holy poop. Carter and Jake Acker are engaged. How the heck did that happen?
"Ivy Lynch!" Jake exclaims excitedly, plopping down on the couch. "The partier of the century."
"Right," I mumble. "So, you're engaged?"
"Yep. I know it seems really fast, but I do love Carter," he says. "I mean, we just get each other."
I want to go on a rant about how crazy he's being. Carter was with Ted just a few weeks ago. He was sleeping with Mrs. Holden. I mean, what about his crush on me? I didn't get a proposal! I didn't want one, but the thought would've been nice.
My mom has been married three times. I'm a pretty good detector at a wrong relationship. "We just get each other." Like I haven't heard that one before. Oh, brother. This is a disaster.
Keeping it all in, I just nod. "I'm happy for you, Jake. You really think she's the one?"
"Sure do."
"I wonder what your mom will think of her," I say. Mrs. Acker is a bit pretentious, to say the least. A girl like Carter isn't exactly who she'd have in mind for her Jake. I actually overheard her say that Jake's ideal wife is Kate Middleton.
He laughs. "I don't think I'm going to tell my parents until after the wedding."
"You're not going to invite your parents?"
"No. We were just going to have a small party at the cliff after we filled out the marriage certificate. You and Elliott are welcome to come."
"A small party? That doesn't sound like Jake Acker to me," I say with a laugh.
He shrugs. "It's what Carter wants. I have to keep my lady happy."
"Hm. I see."
"Don't do that," he snaps.
"Do what?" I ask innocently.
He rolls his eyes. "The judging thing, Ivy Lynch. You're judging me."
"Am not!"
"You so are. And you know what? I don't care what you think. You're like the worst friend I've ever had anyway."
I gasp. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You don't even act like you like me as a person! I am so nice to you all the time, whereas you just treat me like a rag doll of a friend. And now you go thinking you know me so well!"
"Jake, I didn't say anything. I'm not judging you. I'm happy for you."
"You don't get to be happy for me. We're not friends!" he screams.
I shake my head. "Why are you being so dramatic about all of this?"
He slaps his hands on his face and lets out a weird noise, a mix between a groan and a scream. "I'm having regrets, okay?"
"What?" I place a hand on his knee. "You don't want to marry Carter?"
"No! Of course I don't! I'm eighteen, Ivy Lynch. I don't even know what pants to wear tomorrow. How the hell would I know which woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?"
I try my best to hide a smile. "Jake, it's okay. Just tell Carter that you're not ready."
"I tried to last night," he sighs. "She called me mean names, so I took it back. I mean, she is hot and everything so I guess it won't be that bad."
"Jake," I say, "you can't go through with this. I won't let you. I'll take the ring off her finger myself if I have to."
He nods. "You're right. I have to get that ring back. It costed my autographed photo of Randy Jackson."
"Not your autographed photo of Randy Jackson! I remember when you got it and brought it to gym to show me."
"Yeah, I thought she was worth it."
"It's okay. Carter has this certain quality about her that puts her in the same category as those sirens," I say.
Flynn arrives shortly after my conversation with Jake. There's something about Jake Acker that just makes you feel for the guy. He's like an innocent, confused puppy. I hope he makes the right decision and ends things with Carter. I can't believe she got him to propose. What kind of dog treats does she buy?
At home, I turn into my true form as a couch potato. There's nothing to do without anyone home. I watch television, eat food, watch a movie. I go on social media. I tweet about being a couch potato. Elliott replies to my tweet with a picture of a potato on a couch and my face photoshopped onto the potato. It gets a lot of likes. I cringe and log off social media for the rest of my time alone.
Eventually, Jett comes back from school. I expect him to hang out with me, but he says he has too much homework. Damn eighth grade. Kids don't need homework. They need to spend time with their half-sister to make up for all the years of lost time!
"Can I at least help you with your homework?"
"I don't know. Are you good with U.S. history?"
"Yes, actually. I got a hundred on my constitution test," I say proudly.
He nods and throws his backpack on the kitchen table. I sit next to him as he digs out his folder. There's a mysteriously thick packet that he plops on the table.
"So," he starts, "I have to finish this by tomorrow."
"You have to finish this entire packet?" I ask in disbelief, leafing through the many white pages with too many words on them. "That's insane. What kind of school is this?"
"Well, I mean, I guess we had some time to do it over the summer," he says slowly. "But I wasn't sure I was going to the public school or not anyway, so I kind of acted like it didn't exist for three months."
"Okay. Life lesson here, Jett. I did the same thing with Jonas over the summer. Look at how he turned out."
Jett laughs. "Alright, alright. I know it was dumb of me. There's no going back now, so I need your help."
"I was just thinking I'd help you with one or two questions, bud. Not seventy-five."
"Please, Ivy. Please," he begs. "Please. Like, really, please. Please! Please. Please."
I cover his mouth with my hand. "Okay. I'll help you until Elliott calls me to come over, yeah?"
"Fine," he agrees, shaking my hand to make the deal official. "Now, what war occurred in 1812?"
Elliott never called me. I stayed up with Jett all night working on that packet. He only has a few more pages left to do on the bus in the morning. My mind was about to explode by the end of the night. Our only break was during dinner, and that only lasted five minutes before Nora left to hang out with Flynn and their aunt and uncle went to watch the Wheel of Fortune.
At one point, my phone started ringing and I almost sang with happiness. It was just Mikey telling me that there was a special High School Musical Sing-a-long on Disney Channel. Jett didn't even let me go watch for a second. Why didn't Elliott call me? I worry that he's upset with me for making him late to work today, but then I remember that he photoshopped my face on to a potato sitting on a couch. He couldn't have been mad at me then.
I decide to call him.
"Yo, yo! What's up, home boy? You've reached Elio-double t. Hit me up some other time, hot mama! Leave a swag message after the beat!"
I sigh when I get his voicemail made in 2010. He should really change that now that he's a working man. At least it's somewhat funny when I know how long ago he made it.
I look out the front window to check if he's still at work. His car is back home, so he must be there too. I see another car parked out front. I think I've seen it before, but I'm not sure. He must be showering or something.
Instead of worrying, I go upstairs to sleep. I've had a long, party-filled day and night.
The next morning I have no calls or texts from Elliott. Strange. I know he has work early this morning, so I don't stress about it. That same car is still out front, parked right behind Flynn's.
I honestly have no life as of now, so I decide to just wait until Flynn needs to go to the grocery store and the person owning that car has to move it. There's nothing better to do, since everyone's gone in this house and Elliott is at work and I'm also curious.
Just as I'm about to give up and watch some television after about five minutes of waiting, the front door opens. The perfect model legs are the first thing I see, and it almost makes me scream. Why did Carter spend the night at their house? That must be why he didn't call me. He didn't want me to know. Was he cheating on me? He wouldn't do that. He told me that he didn't feel anything for Carter.
But there's that sexual attraction, isn't there? I want to cry. Isn't she engaged to Jake? Unless he ended things already. Maybe she was just there because she had nowhere else to go. Elliott's too sweet to say no, as I saw with my mom. But it's Carter. His on and off again model girlfriend that he had a picture of in his desk drawer.
I can't jump to conclusions. I don't know anything yet. What I need to do is call Elliott. And what he needs to do is answer before I turn into some psychotic girlfriend. Yes, like one who sits at their front window to see whose car was parked overnight. I cringe as my mind takes me to the worst scenarios.
"Pick up," I whisper into the phone.
He answers. "Hey, I'm at work. I can't talk right now."
"When's your break?"
"Uh," he pauses, "in like an hour. I have to go." He hangs up.
Next, I do what any normal, rational person would do. I run outside and stand in the street to block Carter from leaving. Sure, for a second I was worried she would back right into me, but luckily she stops the car and gets out.
"What are you doing?" she asks. "I almost hit you!"
"Right back atchya!" I say.
She squints her eyes. "What?"
"Why did you spend the night at my boyfriend's house?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest because otherwise I wouldn't know what to do with my awkward hands.
"Oh." She shrugs. "Are you jealous or something? You're such a cute, little insecure girl, Ivy."
I open my mouth to object, but I can't think of a good comeback that fast. She's not exactly wrong. I am insecure. But I have a right to be. She's a model! I'm a professional babysitter. Which career is more appealing to boys?
"You're such a cute, little bitch," I end up saying. It's cringeworthy. I don't like calling people mean names, but I'm heated and Jake proposed to her and Elliott didn't answer my calls and she slept at the Kennedy's house.
"Gosh," Carter laughs. "You are so awkward. Elliott really described you well."
"Yeah, I bet he did." It's even more frustrating when the person doesn't react, and I'm getting nothing out of Carter. She's too good. I can't compete.
"Can you get out of the street so I can go home now?"
"Tell me why you spent the night here," I demand. I notice her ring is no longer on her finger. "Are you seriously that desperate for a guy to love you? Elliott is taken."
"He didn't act like he was last night," she says venomously. "So, I'd be careful with your assumptions, Ivy. Your boyfriend was never satisfied with your flat chest and your flabby thighs. And worst of all? You never gave him what he truly wanted from you: sex."
I roll my eyes to seem unbothered, though deep down I felt a stab in my gut. "I actually feel bad for you, Carter. This sad attempt to mess with Elliott and me is almost laughable, if it wasn't so sad and desperate."
She nods. "I'm just giving you a heads up, honey. Now, move out of the street."
I frown and walk back to my driveway. I don't believe anything Carter says. It's just the back part of my mind that trusts her words like the bible. She's just too manipulative and confident as well. It throws me off my game.
I call Elliott once, getting sent straight to that 2010 voicemail. Unable to spend the rest of the bored day with a hurting subconscious, I throw on nice clothes and drive to his work. Yesterday was bring your girlfriend to work day; today is your girlfriend comes uninvited to work day.
"Hi," I greet the secretary. "Im Ivy Lynch. I'm here to see Elliott Kennedy. I think he's on his break right now."
"Oh, yes. Let me just give him a quick call." She dials 6. "Mr. Kennedy, a woman named Ivy Lynch is here to see you." She nods. "Right, sir." She hangs up the phone. "He says he'll be right out. Have a seat on the chairs over there."
"Thank you," I say and sit down.
Minutes pass and Elliott still hasn't come. I tap my foot nervously, probably annoying the lady at the front desk, Opal. She's great, by the way. We talk for twenty minutes before Elliott finally walks out to the lobby.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm super busy," he explains. "What's up, Ivy? Is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. Can we talk privately?" I ask, smiling to Opal who already knows the whole story.
He nods and walks around the corner where there are multiple cubicles set up. His cubicle is plain, no pictures on the walls like the others. He sits down in his swivel chair and spins around. "So, what do you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, I would've done this over the phone, but you didn't answer me. Uh, but, anyway, I saw Carter this morning. Why'd she sleep over at your house?" I don't know why I'm so nervous. He'll have an easy, simple answer that will explain everything, I'm sure.
"Oh." His face looks blank. "I...we just...um..."
"Oh, good answer," I mutter.
"Ivy," he says softly, "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry about? I know you didn't sleep with her."
"I didn't!" he exclaims in a panic.
"I know."
"We were just talking," he says. "We talked until late in the night, so I let her sleep on the couch."
I nod. "Okay. I believe you."
He smiles, his eyes somber, as if a forced smile, a final smile. It makes me worried about what's to come out of his mouth next. "Ivy, I've been thinking a lot."
"Good for you," I say, patting him on the back.
He licks his lips, biting down in a streased manner. "I'm being serious right now. I need you to be too."
"Okay."
"I think we need to break up," he says, ripping my heart out of my chest.
I shake my head. "Yeah, no, we don't. We're fine."
"Ivy," he says patiently, "I need you to understand."
"Understand what? Why do we need to break up? We're happy!"
"I'm not happy." He takes my hand in his. "I'm sorry. I think it's best if we both saw other people and ended our summer fling now that summer is over."
"A summer fling?" I repeat in horror, ripping my hand away from his. "Was this all a joke to you? You making me vulnerable and trusting just to shatter me like glass?"
He shuts his eyes briefly. "I care about you. I liked you, Ivy. I wanted to date you. I just think now our lives are going in separate directions. It's best to end things."
"No," I say in disbelief. "It's not. It's not best. I don't want to end things." I can feel all my emotions coming up my throat. I'm unable to stop myself and the words finally come out in a cesspool of tears and hurt and anger. "I love you."
His eyes drop to the floor. There's an eerie silence throughout the office, only a scarce typing noise from across the room.
I don't wait for him to say anything. "I love you, Elliott. I spent my whole life alone, building a barricade in front of my heart. You took it down, moment by moment. You gave me a childhood. You made me laugh. You forced me to get out of that stupid comfort zone I lived my whole life in. That's how I'm doing this right now." I close my eyes. "That's how I'm standing in front of you and telling you I love you. I've never loved anyone before, not like this."
I wipe under my eyes, taking a shaky breath before continuing. "And I don't want to hate you. I've hated people before. Please, Elliott, don't make me hate you."
He shakes his head slowly, his eyes looking close to tears. "I'm sorry."
My hands begin to shake. He stands up, his hand reaching for my face.
I turn away sharply, my heart tightening. "Don't touch me!"
"Until I wash my hands?" he asks, the faintest of smiles on his face as he tries to bring back one of our memories.
I love him. He knows now. He let me stand in front of him and be so open, so vulnerable, just to break my heart. It makes me want to hate him. But you can't go from loving someone to hating them that fast. I hate loving him.
I leave the office, going back to my car. I don't start the engine. I put my feet up on the dashboard and just cry. I cry until my whole body aches. I just lost the one thing in my life that truly made me the happiest. And I didn't even get a good explanation for why.
As much as I hate it, I can't help but believe Carter. I wasn't good enough. He wanted model material, sexy and beautiful and strong. I'm awkward, average, and weak. I cry harder.
It was stupid of me to think that Elliott Kennedy would love me back. I should've never said it. I was just being desperate to get him to change his mind, to know how much I don't want to lose him. But I lost him. And he can have any girl he wants. There's nothing I can do about that.
I call Mrs. West to pick me up. Nora's at school. Plus I still haven't apologized for yelling at her the other night. I just need a mom right now. Mrs. West is the closest thing I have.
She brings Mr. West to drive home my car, always planning ahead. I get into the passenger's seat where fifteen boxes of tissues await me. She has the song Everybody Hurts playing on repeat during the drive home. I know I made the right choice calling her.
"Cookie dough or mint chocolate chip?"
"Cookie dough," I say from the living room.
She put on John Tucker Must Die. Apparently she made a list of all the things she'd do if she ever had a girl. Eating ice cream and watching John Tucker Must Die is what to do if your daughter ever gets dumped. It definitely helps.
I eat dinner at their house too. After dinner, Mikey walks with me back to my house. He keeps my mind off Elliott, talking about everything that happened in high school today. A lot happened.
Back at home, I go upstairs to mourn in my bed. I sleep for hours. I keep the lock on my door to avoid talking to anyone. Jett somehow climbed up the side of the house to get into my room through the window. It happened while I was sleeping, so I didn't even notice. When I woke up, the whole family was sitting at the end of my bed.
And so then I'm forced to relive the breakup. It's just as painful the second time. I can't help but start crying in front of all of them.
"I should've stabbed him in the heart!" Jett cries after I finish.
"Jett," Nora says, petting his hair, "no."
"Well, he's a jerk! I'm so mad. I could burn his car if you want."
"Jett," Nora repeats, "no." She places her hand on my arm. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm okay. Well, I will be soon enough. I just need some time to get over him."
"Yeah, of course." She ushers Jett out of the room. "Talk to us when you're ready, okay?"
I nod.
My phone buzzes repeatedly with texts from Elliott. A small part of me prays that the messages will read that he's sorry and that he made a huge mistake. That's the hopeful me thinking.
Hey, hope we can still be friends! ð
Friends? He must be insane.
Opal misses you
Good.
I saw this girl that looked like you when I was driving home from work.
Turns out it was a guy.
Thanks.
Not that you look like a guy.
Right.
Text me back, Ives
Nope.
xoxo
gossip girl
It frustrates me more than anything that he thinks I'd want to be friends with him after he broke up with me. If he's trying to confuse me, he's doing a great job. These texts, as dumb as they are, speak a lot of words. He still wants me in his life, but not as his girlfriend. He wants someone that can do more for him, but also wants my company. Screw him.
I block his number.
~~
AN:
last Christmas, Ivy gave him her heart, but the very next day, Liott gave it away!
Merry Christmas! â¤ï¸ð
I'm sorry this chapter sucks. I hated writing it. I cried a little (a lot). but it needed to be done. at least I didn't kill ivy off, right?
speaking of killing (not a good intro sorry), I am writing a murder/mystery/romance/teen fiction! it's called In Plain Sight. please go check it out! I'm super excited about it!!! it's to die for!
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