I'm still here! I don't even know where to start with my apology! I have been so stuck with this story and couldn't produce anything I felt worth publishing. Obviously I wasn't expecting to have pretty much no time at all to write. Almost a month passed and I've felt so much pressure to post. It's been hard, peeps. Hope you can understand!
love always
"Hi, you must be Britt. I'm Ivy."
The brunette cranes her neck to look at me while she works on hanging up a large collage of people sticking their middle fingers up on the wall. "Oh, sup?" She goes back to putting the collage on the wall, concentration on her face.
I set a heavy box of my things down on the unmade bed across from Britt's. The room is a nice size, especially for a college dorm room. Britt has already taken up one side of the room and set up her bed.
"Honey, where should I put Emma?"
A woman, Britt's mom, walks in with a life-size cardboard cutout of Emma Watson. She stumbles and nearly falls on her face, but manages to save Emma and herself. Britt takes the cutout from her mom and sets it off near her desk.
That will definitely scare me every morning.
"Oh! Are you Ivy?"
"Yes," I stick my hand out. "It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise," she breathes out before turning to her daughter. "Poppas downstairs getting the last of your things." She eyes the poster of the middle fingers. "Classy, honey."
Britt smiles.
"Okay, someone needs to tell me where they got this," Jett announces, dropping my lamp on the floor to admire Emma Watson.
"Jett, can you hold the door open for me?" a panicked Nora calls from down the hallway.
"Ivy, the door," Jett mutters, still admiring Emma.
I roll my eyes and rush over to keep the door open for my sister. Nora comes sprinting in and throws two boxes on to the bed. She stands up and wipes her forehead. "So many stairs."
"Where is everyone else?" I ask.
"Flynn and Elliott had to take the elevator with the twins and Ethan. Jackie and Vic went to the grocery store to buy you a few snacks. Addison is changing Beth and Jonas is carrying up the last of your things," Nora says.
Britt raises an eyebrow. "Big family?"
"You could say that," I say vaguely.
"Donna, you will not believe it. There is a huge RV right outside the dorm. It honestly is the perfect size. I have to find the owner!" a man, Britt's dad, walks into the dorm with a box and places it down on her bed.
"No, we don't need an RV. We've been over this."
"Well, personally, I take this as a sign from God." He turns to me and my family. "Oh! Hello. Which one of you is Ivy?"
I raise my hand before sticking it out to shake his. "It's nice to meet you."
"You as well. Are you joining us for lunch? I heard there's this great place right near your dorm. Your parents are welcome to come too."
"Thank you for offering," I pause to pick up Ethan from the bed before he does a belly flop off of it, "but I promised my family we'd head up to Newport for the night."
"Newport?" her mom asks in confusion. "What's in Newport?"
"There's a place my dad used to go to there," Elliott jumps in. "I've always wanted to see it, and when Ivy wanted us all to come with her to Rhode Island I knew it was destined to be."
She smiles. "Very nice. Well, we'll have to take you out some time. Maybe during parent weekend." She looks around the room and stops to look at Ethan. "And I'm guessing you're the father?"
Ethan stares at her for a bit before turning to look to me.
I laugh and set him on the ground. "I'm actually living with my step aunt and uncle. They should be getting back soon."
"Say," Britt's dad chimes in, "you wouldn't happen to be the rowdy group that owns that fine RV outside, would you?" He must've just realized how many people were actually squeezed into this dorm room.
"It's rented," Flynn explains. "My dad owns a car dealership in our town."
Britt's dad nods. "Interesting."
His wife gives him a look before checking the silver watch on her wrist. "Our reservation is in five minutes. We better get over there before they give away our table!" She stops to give me a warm smile. "It was so nice to meet you, Ivy. Your family seems wonderful."
"Ly huge," I hear Britt's dad mutter to his daughter.
Britt smiles before standing up from her bed and following her dad out the door. Her mom is quick behind them, leaving just me and the Kennedys and the Jenkins and the McClean.
"Your roommate is awesome!" Jett exclaims as he rummages through her stuff. "She's just like me, but she's a girl!"
Nora pulls her brother on to my side of the dorm room. "Jett, I told you not to go touching strangers' stuff."
"Sorry," he mumbles and sits down on my bed. "When do we leave for Newport?"
"As soon as Val and Lucy get back," Nora says.
While we wait, everyone helps me set up my room. I put the simple (much to Nora's chagrin) comforter I picked out on the bed, over the fresh sheets. Jett, Crystal, Rosie and Jonas hang up the pictures I brought to decorate the walls. Addison and Nora are playing with Bethany. I actually am unsure of where Elliott and Flynn wandered off, but it's not too big of a concern.
Elliott and I have been very platonic for the past week. Although after New Years I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that I forgave him, I couldn't bring myself to say the words. It's just so heavy. Everything that happened with Carter and Brown and the breakup took a lot out of me, out of our relationship.
I'm mostly just worried things won't be the same. How can we recover from that low? Our weaknesses came out and our flaws were picked it. After being in the examination room for so long, I'm going to need a week or two of recovery, or even longer.
I had to ask Elliott to come with. The moment I stepped into the Kennedy's house to say goodbye, I had a feeling they'd all tag along to take me and I didn't have it in me to say no. Mrs Kennedy stayed back to take care of Elm, my beloved child.
It kind of feels like Elliott and I are back to square one. Well, actually, I'd say square two. We're friendly with each other, but seemingly nothing more. We're both hiding our feelings for no point other than that whole recovery thing.
Nora said I should be fighting to get my man back. I mean, I kind of made that my New Years resolution. But does anyone ever keep their resolutions? Exactly. Personally, I think Nora should keep out of my relationship and focus on her own. (Side note: I love Nora and am so thankful to have her as a sister. Her advice is much needed. I just like to argue.)
When Vic and Jackie got back, my dorm room was completely decorated and felt almost like home, in a weird way. We piled into the RV and headed for Newport. The drive wasn't too bad. We busied ourselves playing Heads Up, and Ethan somehow was the best at the game. I really don't understand it.
"So, Liott," I ask as we step out of the RV, "where are we headed?"
He smiles, sunglasses over his eyes. His brown hair that has grown out some over the past few months blows in the breeze. "We're going cliff diving."
"What?" I laugh. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah," he says with a wide, sarcastic smile on his face. "We're going to freeze to death as an epic ending to our tragic love story!"
I roll my eyes and push him lightly, feeling an odd sensation of butterflies in my stomach. "What are we really doing?"
"I just want to look around town. My dad grew up here."
"Yeah?"
He nods. "I was looking at photos and I just thought that this town was so for you... and Elm, of course."
"What are you doing thinking about me and Elm?" I ask, not actually expecting any type of response.
Jonas groans loudly. "Literally, if you two flirt with each other one more time, I'm going to fling myself into the freezing waters."
"Go for it," Jett mutters.
Jonas squints his eyes, glaring at my brother. I just don't know why they won't stop fighting with each other. Something had to have happened, but neither one will say. Jonas is one of Jett's closest friends, and I'd hate to see either lose the other.
I stick my hands into my coat pockets to keep warm from the brisk air. "Hey. This is a family trip. No fighting."
"You fought with Nora during the entire drive-" Crystal starts.
I look down at the beautiful, red-headed twin and cover her mouth with my hand. "Let's go exploring."
We split up. Vic and Jackie take Bethany and head off to look at an old mansion out of town. Addison, the twins, and Nora go to the shops. Ethan wants me to go to the beach with him. The rest of the boys go to the marina to see if they can fish.
Ethan and I sit in the cold sand and build castles, just like the ones we passed driving to Newport.
"How long are you going to be gone?" Ethan asks curiously.
"I'm going to be in college for a few more years, probably six." Ethan frowns, and I rub the top of his head. "But it's okay because I'll come home as much as possible! I have summer breaks, winter breaks, spring breaks, fall breaks. And I'll come home on your birthday for sure."
He smiles cutely. "Really? And for Crystal and Rosie's birthday? And Beth's? And Addison's? And Jonas's? And Elliott's? And Flynn's? And Nora's? And Jett's? And Elm's?" He's almost out of breath by the time he gets to the last name.
"For all of them, E."
"I'll miss you a lot. I missed you a lot when you and Elliott were fighting."
"I know, bud. I missed you too. And I'll miss you very much." I lower my voice to say, "probably even more than Jonas."
Ethan giggles. "Yeah, he's a brat."
Standing up, I stick my hand out to help Ethan up. We walk along the shore. Ethan tells me all about school and what he has been up to during his break. I tell him what I'll be doing in college, in the simplest terms I can muster. He quickly gets bored with my medical talk and goes on to tell me about the newest Disney Channel movie.
When we get back to the public entrance, the boys are standing knee deep in the water with fishing poles. Jonas and Jett are fighting over worms, tugging the bucket back and forth between each other. I step between them.
"What did I say about fighting?"
"I don't know. I try to tune you out as much as possible," Jonas sasses.
"Such a brat," Ethan mumbles, rolling up his pants to join Elliott and Flynn in the water.
I place my hands on my hips. "What is up with you two?"
Jett lowers his head and shrugs. "Ask him."
"You started it!" Jonas bites back.
"I did not!" Jett cries. "Your bitch of a brother started it!"
Jonas lunges forward to push Jett down. My brother plops into the water, his eyes wide and frantic. He leaps up to retaliate. Jett has Jonas down in the water before I have time to react. Elliott and Flynn run over to break up the fight, Elliott taking Jonas and Flynn grabbing Jett. Ethan stays in the ocean with both fishing poles in his hands, completely oblivious to the fight.
"Jett, what'd you just say?"
"He hurt you, Ivy! You were so heart broken!" Jett yells. "And you expect me to not hate him?"
Elliott drops Jonas' shirt collar, a pained look on his face.
Jonas adjusts his soaked shirt. "You didn't even know the whole story. All you did was talk shit about him!"
"Deservingly so," Jett snaps, wiggling out of Flynn's hold. "I don't care that he was blackmailed into breaking up with her so that she could go to Brown. He should've been honest. He shouldn't have taken her carefully stitched heart and chucked it into a wood chipper."
"Great analogy, Jett," Flynn comments and fist bumps him.
Elliott bites his lip and keeps quiet.
"Whatever, Jett. Keep on thinking that you know best," Jonas sighs. "I know my brother and I love him, and I love Ivy. I just can't be friends with someone who is team Levi."
"Levi?" I ask. We're still friends and still have our movie nights, but he has a beautiful girlfriend now. I haven't even thought about my relationship with him since realizing I still want to be with Elliott. "Jett, I'm never going to be with Levi."
"I know that," Jett sighs. "It's not you and Levi that I ship." He glances at Elliott.
Elliott raises his eyebrows and points to his chest. "You mean... me and Levi?"
Flynn just starts clapping his hands together to give Jett a standing ovation. "Now that's a theory I can get behind. Two guys fighting over the same girl falling in love with each other instead. Epic."
Jonas starts arguing, and Jett talks loudly over him. Flynn stands there with an amused smile on his face. I'm actually a bit too stunned to react.
"Okay, okay. I have something to say." Elliott holds his hands up. "What the fuck?"
About ten seconds of silence passes before we all start laughing. It's the painful type of laughter where you're unable to breathe and your stomach is twisted. In the few moments of pure joy, all the fighting didn't seem to matter. I didn't think about Jett hating Elliott and Jonas choosing his brother over me or about my brother shipping my ex-boyfriend with my ex-coworker.
Ethan breaks us out of the weird, group laughing attack with his excited squeals. Somehow the four-year-old caught a fish. A big fish. Elliott and Flynn run into the water to help him. I stay on the beach with Jett and Jonas, waiting for them to have that small moment of forgiveness.
"So..." I trail off, swinging my arms back and forth. "Does anyone have anything else they'd like to say?"
Jonas and Jett look at each other briefly before they both turn back to me at the same time and shrug.
I nudge Jett gently.
"Okay. I'm sorry, Jonas." He sighs. "Your brother isn't the massive dick I said he was. I mean, am I allowed to say he's a mini dick?"
"Yeah, I guess," Jonas decides with a half smile. "It fits him better, right Ivy?"
I shake my head and push him before pulling him and Jett into a side hug.
"I'm sorry too, Jett. I shouldn't have been such a crappy friend to you for the past few months. You just pissed me off too much."
Jett smiles. "Yeah, I guess I deserved it for attacking your idol like that."
"Aw, Jo, Li's your idol?" I ask.
"Oh, God no. Jett drew a mustache on the autographed photo of Robert Downey Jr. in my locker."
I laugh, hugging my two boys once more before we all go into the water to fish some more. After a full day of fishing and shopping and exploring, we regather for dinner at a cute restaurant in town. We go back down to the beach to watch the sunset.
As the day comes to a close, I start to feel more and more upset. They'll all be going home back to Oregon tonight. I spent my entire life alone, up until the start of summer. I never thought leaving for college would be me leaving from home; but, as I sit here in the comfort of everyone I love, I can't picture myself without them.
"Ivy, are you alright?" Elliott asks me, crouching down in the sand.
Everyone left to go to the RV, but I stay sitting in the sand watching the waves crash against the sand. A part of me believes that if I sit here forever, I'll never lose this moment and these people in my life.
He sits next to me, his knees bent and hands resting on his knee caps. I rest my head on his shoulder to feel the comfort of his being.
"I love you," I whisper into the cold night air.
He cranes his neck to kiss the top of my head. His right arm wraps around my waist to pull me closer against him. I keep my eyes on the waves as they crash and retract back into the vast ocean. Elliott kisses my forehead once more before staring at the ocean as well.
"Hey, what's the hold up?" Flynn yells from the top of the public entrance. Elliott turns around and does some type of motion that I assume Flynn doesn't understand because he yells, "what? Is Ivy going into hypothermia? Should I call an ambulance?" Elliott does another motion. "Dude, you suck at charades!"
"I'll meet you guys back at the hotel! I'll take Ivy back to her dorm!"
"Why didn't you just say that?"
"Go away," Elliott laughs and turns back to wrap an arm around my shoulder. "He knows how to ruin a moment."
I smile and wave to Flynn as he trudges back down the road. "We should just go with them. I just... I feel like I'm running out of time."
"Time for what?"
I shrug. "I don't know. Time to be with you, and everyone else. I just... Oregon isn't exactly a bus ride away."
"I mean, I could've just gone to the University of Oregon. They have a fine nursing program and-"
"Whoa, whoa," he cuts me off. "Look, Ivy Lynch, I didn't break up with you so you could go to the University of Oregon. Brown is your dream school. It's what you've always wanted."
"I know. But I always wanted it because it was an escape from my mom and from the life I didn't want to live anymore." I pick up a pile of sand in my hand. "Now I don't have a life to run away from."
He nods and stands up. "Okay. Fine. Come home with us and attend community college until you can get ahold of the University of Oregon. I'll help you make the calls and then you can go next year and-" He stops. "Yeah, no. You want this. You want Brown."
I smile softly at his over-the-top attitude. "I still don't want to leave you... and everyone else."
"I know you don't, Ives. I don't want you to leave us either. But I wouldn't have put both of us through all the bs over the last few months if I didn't think that this is what you need."
"Yeah," I sigh and rest my chin on my knees, hugging my legs. "You're right."
"Damn right I'm right." He shoots me a lopsided grin. "You ready?"
I nod and take his hand as he pulls me up. Elliott hugs me and spins us around once before setting me back down. I can't keep a smile off my face. We walk side-by-side, and I desperately want him to take my hand in his. He calls an uber to pick us up, so we wait on the rocks near the ocean.
"How epic would it be if we jumped?"
"And plummeted to a tragic death for our tragic love story?" I ask.
"Or we survive," he says with a soft smile.
I squint my eyes, sitting in deep thought. "Okay. Let's do it, Elliott Kennedy." I stand up and peer over the edge. It isn't too far of a jump, definitely not as high as the cliff back home.
He smiles and takes my hand to stand up. He doesn't let go. "Are you drunk? No? Okay, just checking."
He takes off his jacket, shirt, pants and shoes to just be in his underwear. I do the same, setting my phone on the pile of clothes.
"Promise not to break my heart tomorrow?" I say quietly, standing with him at the edge shivering in the cold.
He lifts our connected hands and kisses my palm with his soft lips.
And we jump.
Free falling isn't scary when I have Elliott to hold onto. The surge of cold water stabs me like the old lady in Psycho stabs the shower. Elliott's hand lets go of mine as we sink down. I swim back up to the surface and kick my feet rapidly to keep my head above the water. Elliott pops up next to me, his hands grabbing my waist. His lips meet mine before I have time to react. The heat from the kiss keeps me warm.
He pulls back, a huge smile on his face. "Listen, Ivy. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"
Only Elliott would start quoting Titanic right now.
"Promise me that you will never give up, that you'll never let go of that promise."
"I'll never let go, Elliott," I say, kissing him again.
Laughing, we swim back to shore. We run up to shore to put on our warm clothes. Elliott grabs my hand, and we run into an open store. The store workers look at like we're crazy, as we stand there shivering and dripping wet. Elliott hugs me to keep me warm.
Our uber driver arrives not too much later. We go back to my dorm, pay the driver, and head inside. Britt is sitting in her bed, laptop on and headphones in. She looks up when we walk in and takes her headphones out.
"Okay, yeah, your boyfriend can't spend the night here," she says. "I'd like to get a good night of sleep and not have to deal with you two calling each other baby and sugar bear all night."
"It's okay. He's not staying overnight. And he's not my boyfriend."
"Well... that's a matter of opinion, sugar bear," Elliott comments.
I laugh and pull out warm clothes from my suitcase. All I have for Elliott is an oversized sweatshirt that'll probably fit him snugly. He switches out of his shirt, and I see Britt staring at him in interest. I don't really blame her.
"Why are you two all wet?" Britt asks, finally realizing.
"We jumped off a cliff."
"Right," she says, holding the 'i' sound before putting her headphones back in and ignoring us.
Elliott laughs and pulls out his phone to text Flynn to pick him up. He spent all his money on the uber ride here and has no way back to the hotel.
"Well, I better head downstairs and wait for him," he says and starts walking out.
I follow him and shut the dorm door. We walk down to the lobby and sit down in one of the couches.
"You were right when you said that Newport would be a good fit for me... and Elm," I say. "It's everything I would need in a town, except for the fact that it's just too far away."
"Yeah, it's far. My parents met overseas, and my mom was in Oregon and my dad was in Newport, Rhode Island. So, my dad moved to Oregon to be with her. The distance was just too much."
"I can believe that. Long-distance relationships suck."
"You would know," he says sarcastically. "I really trust that."
"Yeah, Jake Gyllenhaal and I have been struggling with it for awhile," I joke.
He laughs lightly. "Jake Gyllenhaal? I can't compete with that."
"It's okay. You'll always have Levi." I smile and nudge his arm. "We'll just have to wait."
His smile falls. "Yeah. That's just what I want to do for the next six years."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say, Elliott. I don't want a relationship now, especially not a long-distance. It's just too much for me."
"No, yeah, I get it. It just sucks." He bites his lip. "Speaking of sucking, goodbyes suck."
I laugh, my heart tightening. "Yeah, they do."
He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me tightly against him. I hug him tightly, worried I won't be able to let go. Elliott pulls away, and I know that it's just as hard for him. He stands up from the couch and walks backwards to the door with a huge smile, lifting his hand to wave goodbye before walking outside and leaving me.
"Goodbye," I say quietly, holding my arms.
~~
AN:
and then they die of hypothermia.
ahhhhhGHASDFGHJKL I almost want to jump do a time jump to six years and write the end of the story but y'all don't deserve that crazy of a time jump bc the vampire diaries taught us in season 7 that you do not do time jumps thank you very much for that horrible season of my life thanks
okay I do not know how this chapter turned out so please let me know what you thought about it so I can make the next chapter even better
and no I do not want to take a month to update again and I know you guys don't want that either!! you guys are one of my biggest inspirations to keep writing so keep on commenting and giving me feedback
I had a plan for this book and where I wanted to take it but sometimes I just lose the passion and I forget what each of these characters mean to me and it's so frustrating asdfghjkl
as you can see from this authors note, I'm a mess.
thank you for your time.
s/o to the discover weekly Spotify playlist of all these emo love songs that got me through this chapter
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