"Well, actually," I start, looking down at my bruised and scraped arm, "my brother pushed me out of the top bunk yesterday morning."
Atticus raises his eyebrows. "Seriously?"
"Yep. And the whole thing is stupid because I'm supposed to be sleeping on the bottom bunk, but he faked a stomach illness and sent me to the top bunk."
"Why did he push you?"
I sigh. "Because, Atticus, my brother couldn't find his autographed Hugh Jackman phone case." I shake my head. "I don't think I'm going to survive four more days with this kid."
"Isn't your sister in Mexico? Why don't you just sleep in her room?"
"My uncle snores really loudly, so my aunt claimed the room before I even got home," I explain. "I don't blame her."
He laughs. "Well, you're always welcome at my place."
I smile, hoping he can't see the blush on my cheeks. "Uh...I-I don't think- I...uh..."
"Kidding," he says and nudges me with his elbow. "I know even the smallest thought of commitment freaks you out."
"Excuse me! That is not true!" I argue. "We've known each other for a few days! And-and I told you wasn't looking for anything serious anyway."
He just sits with a simple smile on his face. "Ivy, I know. I'm just messing with you, babe."
I cringe at the pet name, crossing my arms over my chest. "Okay. Just making sure you know that."
"I do." He stands up from the couch to go the kitchen. "You seriously remind me so much of my roommate."
I follow him into the apartment kitchen and sit on one of the stools. "What's he like? Completely responsible and understanding and caring and beautiful?"
"Pretty much sums it up." He pours us both a glass of water. "He's been dating this girl for like months, right? And he has never even thought about asking her to be his girlfriend. Hell, kid hasn't even told the girl he likes her!"
"Why is she still with him?" I ask.
He shrugs. "Some people are worth waiting for."
"Not a jackass like that," I say. "I'd leave him in an instant. You can't string somebody along for three months like that."
"Yeah, I've told him that she'll leave him soon."
"What'd he say?"
"Couldn't care less," Atticus says. "I feel so bad for her. Sometimes I just want to tell her to leave him. I mean, she's the sweetest girl."
I pout my lip. "Well, you don't think I'd do that to you, do you?"
"I don't know, Ivy. It's too early to say."
"I wouldn't, just so we're clear," I say. "What are you doing tonight?"
He shrugs. "Probably just chill at home. Maybe I'll go see a movie."
"You can't, sorry. It's actually my movie night with my friends and I can't have you meeting my friends this early in the game."
He rolls his eyes and pushes up the sleeves to his shirt. "You can't dictate whether I go to the movies or not this early in the game."
"Atticus," I whine, "come on! If you meet my friends, they'll think we're like a couple."
"Ew, we can't have them thinking that!" he exclaims, the sarcasm nearly choking me.
I huff and blow a piece of hair out of my face, only to have it fall back in place. "I asked you what you were doing tonight to change the subject from this whole dating idea."
"I know. I'm cool about things," he says. "I won't go to the movies tonight, if that's what you really need. I'll stay home and watch my roommate string along his unofficial girlfriend."
"Perfect," I comment.
Atticus shakes his head. "How late you staying? If you stay too late, my roommate will get back from work. I don't think we're ready for that step."
I stick out my tongue and pull out my phone. "I'm picking Jett up from his yoga class in an hour."
"I think you're safe for today." The buzzer in their apartment goes off. "Maybe I spoke too soon." Atticus walks over and holds his finger down on the button. "Yeah?"
"Hey, Atty," a girl's voice comes through the speaker. "Mind letting me in?"
"Uh, I kind of have someone over right now," Atticus says in a lower voice. "Can't you wait until he gets home from work?"
"It's raining outside and I took the bus into town. Please let me in," the girl begs. "I'm all sad and cold."
Atticus sighs and presses the button to unlock the door downstairs before walking back over to me. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to progress our relationship this fast, but you're going to have to meet my roommate's unofficial girlfriend."
I smile. "Shoot, that's like one step before meeting the parents," I say sarcastically.
The apartment door swings open, and a girl with a drenched raincoat walks in. She smiles and quickly takes off her boots and hangs her coat on the rack in the corner of the entrance. She is beautiful, her long brown hair falling against her tan filipino skin.
"Hi!" She runs into the kitchen. "I'm Reyna."
"Ivy," I introduce and shake her welcoming hand.
"Oh my gosh, you guys, it is so cold outside. I thought I'd survive in a t-shirt today, but I nearly died. I'm going to go change into one of E's shirts," she says. "But when I get back I want to get to know this girl Atticus hasn't stopped talking about." She leaves the kitchen and walks into one of the bedrooms.
I look at Atticus with a smirk. "You haven't stopped talking about me?"
"She's exaggerating. Just because I mentioned your name once or twice, she thinks I'm obsessed."
"Well, aren't you?" I ask with a wink.
He shrugs. "More or less."
I take grab the front of his shirt and pull him in for a small kiss. Our second kiss. Not that I'm counting. It's a normal thing, to kiss boys. It's a thing I can do now that I'm moving on from Elliott.
He has a giddy grin on his face as he pulls back. "Thank you, Miss Ivy. I appreciate your show of affection."
I laugh and shake my head, turning to see Reyna walking back in with a large long sleeved t-shirt on. She has put her hair in a messy bun, one of those perfect messy buns that I'll never be able to master.
"So, Ivy, where are you from?" she asks, sitting on the stool.
"Here in Brookings."
"Yeah? And you go to Brown now?" she asks, pointing to my brown sweatshirt. "What's it like being so far from home?"
I shrug. "It's weird, I guess. Like, I came home this week to find my room has been turned into a movie filming room for my brother and his friends."
She laughs, "my parents turned my room into a gym! And they don't even like working out!"
"Damn, that's ruthless," Atticus comments.
"Where are you from, Reyna?"
"I'm actually from Maine. And, yes, I often wonder how the hell I ended up in Oregon."
We talk for awhile. I would've stayed later if I hadn't remembered Jett. At some point, Reyna suggested that Atticus and I go out with her and her unofficial boyfriend before I go back to college. I couldn't really say no. She has these weird compelling powers that didn't let me turn down the offer. Plus, Atticus seemed excited about it.
I pick Jett up from his yoga class and drop him off at our house. I immediately leave to pick up Amy for movie night. We meet Levi and Mo inside the theater at the concession stand.
"Ivy!" Levi exclaims, running to pick me up and spin me around. "How's my Ivy-leaguer doing?"
"He spent the whole drive here deciding on that pun, right?" I ask Mo, who confirms it with a head nod.
Levi sets me down on the carpeted floor. "As sassy as ever."
"How are you, Levi?" I ask. "How's the lady?"
"Engaged."
I drop my jaw and jump in the air in excitement. "Levi! What the hell?" I hit his arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Uh, because she's not engaged to me," he says, wearing a closed-mouth smile.
I stop jumping. "What?"
"Yeah," he sighs. "It's fine. I mean, as long as she's happy."
"I'm sorry."
"No, no. You shouldn't be. I'm cool with it."
"You are?"
He nods. "Seriously. It's not like I thought she was the one. Plus, I like being a bachelor. I'm surprisingly really good at flirting."
"That's not a surprise. You flirt with everything that has a pulse," Amy says.
Levi shrugs. "So what? I'm twenty-one and living the life."
"Well, since we're on the topic, I too have started living the life again," I say.
"No way. You're dating?"
I nod and flip my hair behind my shoulder. "I'm not bragging or anything, but I did go on four dates just in this week."
Levi does a catcall. "That's my girl! Anyone special?"
"I don't know. I mean, I wasn't looking for anything serious. I just wanted to try and move on. But Atticus is very sweet."
"Atticus? What the hell? You're living my To Kill A Mockingbird fantasy!" Amy whines. We all look at Amy with raised eyebrows. She just shrugs. "Like you haven't ever had an Atticus Finch fantasy."
"Okay, you're right," Levi sighs.
I roll my eyes. "Well, he lives here. The whole reason I'm not with Elliott is because of the distance...but...he is only here to save up enough money to afford Brown. So we would be at the same school."
"It's destiny!" Levi exclaims.
"That totally sounds like something in one of the Atticus Finch fan fictions Amy was reading," Mo comments while paying for his Skittles.
Amy sticks out her tongue. "Shut up, Harriet." She turns to me. "That is kind of crazy that the one guy you really connected with is going to Brown."
"Yeah, I know."
"So, what are you afraid of?" Levi asks as the two of us start walking to the theater our movie is playing in. "This Atticus guy seems like a pretty fair candidate."
"I just don't want to commit. Like you said, you like being the bachelor. I like being a bachelorette."
He nods. "Okay, okay. I get it. You don't want to pursue anything with him because you're afraid that he's the real deal and you might actually grow deep feelings for him."
"I didn't say that."
"But I'm good at translating Ivy, and that's what you meant."
I squint my eyes. "And you're sure about this?"
"I mean, that's why you didn't want to pursue anything with me, right? You were too worried that you'd fall in love with me."
"That's a confident statement to make," I say and sit down in the red theater seat.
"I'm a confident guy."
I nod, hating that I can't argue against him. He's too right to fight with. I bite my lip and hug my knees to my chest. "I'm just stuck," I whisper, part of me wanting him to hear me and the other part wanting to keep it inside.
Levi looks at me, his eyes scanning my face. I am close to tears, so frustrated as I come to terms with my own truth.
"I try so hard to move on," I say, my voice quivering. "I just...I-I love him so much."
"Ivy," Levi says softly, "it'll be okay."
I cover my face with my hands and let out a high-pitched noise from the back of my throat.
Levi puts his arm around my shoulder. "There are other people in the theater, Ives. Way to draw attention to ourselves. Now all my fans are going to come and ask for my autograph."
"What fans?" I ask, dropping my hands.
"I'm a Youtuber now."
I stare at him blankly. "You're kidding."
"Nope. I just hit 100 subscribers today."
Mo groans when he walks into the theater. "Are you talking about Youtube again?"
"Okay, guys, when I'm as famous as Tyler Oakley, you'll all regret making fun of me for this."
Someone shushes him, even though the credits haven't even started playing.
"I already get so much hate," he whispers to himself.
~~
On Saturday, I go to Atticus's apartment for the date with Reyna and her unofficial boyfriend. Somehow Levi convinced me to take him with. He said it'll be good for his views to vlog himself partying at a bar with some real friends.
"So, we're sitting here waiting for our other friends to get back from work," Levi says to his camera. He keeps occasionally pulling out his camera to update his fans. "Still sitting."
"Levi, if you keep doing that all night, I will make you go home," I threaten.
Atticus laughs and wraps an arm around my shoulder. "I think it's cool that you want to be a Youtuber. I mean, it's a successful business."
"He has 100 subscribers," I say flatly.
Levi coughs. "Excuse me, make that 108 subscribers."
"Oh, my bad," I apologize jokingly.
"Ivy, I don't know why you're in such a pissy mood right now," Levi calls out. "It's totally wrecking the vibe of my vlog."
"I'm sorry. I'm just kind of nervous."
"About what?" Atticus asks.
"Well, I don't know how I'm going to react to your roommate knowing all that I know. Reyna deserves better. I'm not good at pretending to like someone."
"He's really not a bad guy. I actually think you'll like him," he says. "Hopefully not as much as me though."
I smile. "I don't think you have to worry about that."
Atticus leans in for a kiss. We both stop, centimeters away from kissing, when Levi clears his throat. I turn to glare at him.
"Sorry, I like to keep my channel PG."
I shake my head and pull his camera out of his hands, placing it down on the table. Atticus goes for the kiss, his hands caressing my face.
Levi takes his camera off the table. "I'm not just going to sit here and watch you two make-out if that's what you're thinking." He plays the videos of himself that he has already taken. "Shoot. The lighting in this room sucks. I'm going to have to cut all the footage-"
"The party don't start 'til I walk in," Reyna sings as she walks through the front door.
I pull away from the kiss with Atticus to say hi, but he shakes his head. "Wait, I need a little more." I laugh and press my lips against his gently. It's a bit embarrassing to be full-on kissing with Reyna and her unofficial boyfriend possibly watching us, but this is also the first intense kiss Atticus and I have ever had.
"Damn, Atticus, do you ever stop for air?"
I stop kissing immediately, my blood running cold at the familiar voice. This is not happening. This can't be happening. But it was so flipping obvious.
Atticus turns to throw a pillow at his roommate. "Shut up, E."
Elliott chuckles to himself shortly before his eyes fall on me. His smile disappears in an instant.
"Oh shit," I hear Levi mutter to himself.
Elliott cocks his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted together. He forms his mouth in an 'o' as he pieces things together. I am just as stunned as he is.
Reyna looks from her unofficial boyfriend-- my official ex-boyfriend-- to me. "Wait, did I miss something?"
"Do you guys know each other?" Atticus asks.
Elliott lifts up his pointer finger, touching his chin, and then pointing it back out. "Yeah, okay, no. This is not happening." He moves his two pointer fingers in a criss-cross direction to point from me to Atticus. "You two are not happening."
"Elliott," I start.
"I mean, my roommate, Ivy? He's my goddamn roommate!" he yells.
I stand up from the couch defensively. "I didn't know that!"
"You can't date my roommate!"
"Hey!" Atticus steps in. "What is going on? You can't tell her whether she can date me or not, man."
"Oh, I can tell her she can't date you," Elliott says heatedly. "It isn't happening."
"Elliott's my ex," I say, my voice sounding weird from all the nerves.
Atticus drops his hands at his side, his face blank. "What?"
"He's my ex-boyfriend."
"Yeah, I'm her ex-boyfriend," Elliott says unnecessarily. He repeats things when he gets heated.
"Oh, hm, I didn't know you even knew of the terms boyfriend and girlfriend," Reyna comments sassily to her unofficial boyfriend.
Elliott bites his tongue, dropping his gaze to avoid hers.
"Yeah, so, I'll just be going now," Levi says, standing up from the couch and heading towards the door.
"Yeah, what are you even doing here, Levi?" Elliott asks randomly.
"I'm vlogging," he answers and opens the door. "I'll see you before you leave tomorrow, Ivy." And he shuts the door, trapping me in this apartment of nightmares.
Reyna sighs heavily. "I can't do this." She rushes into Elliott's room.
Elliott stands for a minute, debating whether he should follow her or not. His eyes meet mine, and I nod. He runs to his room, knocking on the locked door.
"Atticus, this doesn't change anything between us," I say, sitting next to him. "Elliott will be able to get over this."
"I don't know if I can."
I frown. "Why not?"
"Because, Ivy," he sighs, "you two both clearly can't move on. You won't even consider us being anything more than friends with benefits, and he pretty much did the same with Reyna. I mean, you were each other's first loves."
I don't know how to argue against him. Anything I say would be a lie.
"I've been living with Elliott for a while now. I was with him when you guys decided long distance wouldn't work out. I saw how much that crushed him, and I've seen how much he still loves you."
"Atticus, I like you."
"You told me you would never do what Elliott has done to Reyna," he says. "And if I keep falling for you and you keep letting me, then you'd break that promise. I don't want to put myself through that."
I look down at my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "I'm sorry."
"Do you have a ride home?" he asks flatly.
I nod. "Yeah, I have a feeling Levi's still here and just vlogging outside."
Atticus smiles and walks me to the front door. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight, Atticus." I lean forward to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."
"For what?"
I shrug. "For being the first I guy I ever dated casually."
He laughs. "Oddly honored by that."
"Goodnight."
~~
"So now all that's left is you running into Elliott's arms and riding the horse into the sunset."
I sigh and stare up at the bottom of the top bunk. "I don't think it'll be that easy, J."
"Well, I mean, he obviously isn't going to be with Reyna anymore."
"I don't know. Once again, the whole long distance for six years thing isn't ideal for a relationship. I don't expect Elliott to quit his job and move to Rhode Island anytime soon."
"Why do you two have to make things so complicated?" Jett asks, flipping over to peer his head at me on the bottom bunk.
"Love is a complicated thing."
"Nora and Flynn are in love. They don't have any complications," he points out.
"They're different. They're Nora and Flynn, the golden couple. Things have always been easy for them."
"You totally should've went for Flynn instead of Elliott," Jett says.
I laugh. "You're not wrong."
"I know I'm not. It would've worked out better for me. Elliott and Levi could've fallen in love and you'd have Flynn. But no. Things aren't the way I want."
"Things aren't the way I want either, Jett," I sigh. "Today was horrible. The look on Atticus' face killed me."
"You barely knew the guy!"
"Yeah, but it didn't feel like that. I don't know. It's weird. We just really connected. And I hurt him."
"You're going to have to get used to breaking hearts, Ivy," Jett says.
"Hopefully not."
"What about Levi?"
"What about Levi?" I ask suspiciously.
"Well, he's still into you too."
I shake my head. "No he's not."
"Ivy, he totally is. He stayed over way too late tonight."
"He just wanted to vlog."
"He wanted to spend time with you," Jett argues. "You honestly didn't realize that?"
I shrug and try closing my eyes to get some sleep. "It has been a long day. Let's go to bed."
"Fine. You should come to yoga with me tomorrow. It'll calm you."
"Okay." I roll over on my side. "And Jett?"
"Yeah?"
"No more dating apps."
"No more dating apps," he repeats.
~~
AN:
aw who will miss Atticus? I doubt that many of you will. but you guys were missing Levi, so you're welcome for throwing him back in there for a bit.
wait I'm curious let's take a poll
Ivy should be with:
a) Elliott
b) Atticus
c) Levi
d) Elliot
e) Jake Acker
f) Martin the pizza guy
g) Flynn
hope you guys enjoyed!!! I'd like to give you guys a number of chapters left, but I'm really not sure. I know how I want things to end but we gotta get there first. are you guys eager for a wrap up or could you keep going?
someone suggested I split this book into two and I get that right now it seems dragging and like filler chapters but I don't really think of it that way.
let me know your thoughts!
I also updated the cast with Levi & Carter! I debated putting Atticus and Reyna in there too but I thought you guys could do without them
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