Let your body move to the music
"Jonas, man, what are you doing?"
"I'm thinking," Jonas snaps, turning off the Madonna song on his phone. "You can leave now."
"You can't just disappear without telling anyone where you were going," Elliott says. "I was very concerned about you." Jonas gives him a look. "Okay, Ivy was very concerned about you," he corrects.
I shake my head and step closer to Jonas. "Why don't you come back to the party? Jett needs someone to keep him company while he ices his balls."
Jonas raises his eyebrows. "Gee, Ivy, you know how to sell a person!" He shakes his head and moves closer to the cliff before taking a seat with his feet dangling over the edge.
I snap my head in Elliott's direction, and he seems to be completely calm. I guess there's no point in freaking out when your little brother sits on the edge of a cliff! Yeah, right.
Elliott joins Jonas at the edge. "Why'd you come here, man?"
"I don't know," he responds with a shrug. "You always came here after fights with mom or Flynn or Ivy or any of us instead of dealing with your problems."
I uncross my arms that sat along my chest and move to sit on the other side of Jonas.
Elliott sighs. "Yeah, I did always come here. It helped me escape."
"How?" Jonas asks. "I tried feeling that sense of escape and all I could feel was the urge to plunge myself down a cliff which is why I turned on Madonna instead."
"Well, man," Elliott pauses, "diving is something I've been doing ever since I was a little kid when my dad took me with him."
"Dad jumped off cliffs?"
"My dad did," Elliott confirms. "He's not your dad, Jonas." He throws an arm around his brother's shoulder. "We've talked about this. Your dad isn't some alcoholic insurance man who walked out on mom like mine; your dad is a kick-ass firefighter who saves kittens from burning buildings!"
A smile falls across Jonas' face briefly, quickly disappearing. "That's just something you made up, Liott. At least you know who your dad is."
"Jonas," Elliott says, his voice becoming more serious. He glances at me before taking his arm off Jonas' shoulder. "You're old enough to know the truth."
Jonas raises his eyebrows, giving his full attention to Elliott. I'm also curious to know what the truth is. Have they really known who Jonas' birth father is for years now? I wouldn't be surprised if it were Will Ferrell.
"Jonas," Elliott pauses dramatically, "I am your father."
For just a split second, Jonas might have actually believed Elliott. He catches on quickly when his older brother breaks out into a goofy grin. "Ah, shut up, man!" Jonas gives his brother a little shove.
"Take it easy, Jo," Elliott laughs. "I don't feel like dying tonight, especially not while I'm in the friendzone for another five years." He shakes his head and looks up to the starry sky. "Thanks for that, by the way. What happened? You totally had him."
Jonas shrugs. "I couldn't bring myself to punch my best friend in the face. What's so wrong with that?"
"What's wrong with that?" Elliott repeats. "Jonas, your older brother can't get any action from Ivy for five damn years because you couldn't punch your best friend in the face!"
"Oh, my bad. Would you like me to go home and break Jett's nose for you? Would that bring things down to just four years?" Jonas sasses. "I can't believe you two were betting on us in the first place." He starts again, "scratch that. I can't believe Ivy was betting on us in the first place."
I nudge his foot with mine. "Hey, I was just sticking up for my little brother."
"Clearly he can stick up for himself," Jonas says, pointing to his already-forming black eye. "How bad did I hurt him?"
"He's fine. He was just more worried about you and where you went," I say.
Jonas rubs his eyes. "I don't know why I flipped out like that."
I look over at Elliott. I can tell he wants to say something about how he believes Jonas is in love with Jett. He must think better of it, since he stays quiet.
"What does it feel like to jump?" Jonas asks, changing the subject.
"I think it depends. Kirk said he saw his life flash before his eyes, and not in a cool way, but in a horrifying-I'm-about-to-die way," Elliott says with a laugh.
"How do you feel when you jump?"
Elliott gives places his hand on Jonas' shoulder. "I feel... I feel that it's pointless."
Jonas squints his eyebrows. "It's pointless? But you love diving."
"I loved diving," Elliott corrects. "I loved it for the escape." He leans back on his hands to prop himself up. "I don't have a life I want to escape anymore."
A small smile creeps on my face, unable to contain itself. Elliott has changed so much from the first days I met him. Not saying I changed him, but I changed him. I'm allowed to be proud of it because sitting next to his little brother is this beautiful, kind, sincere man. He changed into a person I love with everything in me.
He always had it in him, to be this great guy. He was just so turned off by the idea of letting happiness in, and I so was I. Our two messed up heads learned to let in happiness when we learned to let each other in our hearts.
"What I'm trying to say is," Elliott starts up again, "you can't keep running away from whatever it is that you're afraid of, Jonas. It's pointless."
Jonas looks down at his hands that lay in his lap. "You're pointless," he mumbles under his breath.
Elliott grips his chest where his heart lies. "Ouch, I wasn't ready for that comeback!" He ruffles Jonas' hair with his hand. "Come on, it's getting cold. Let's go back to the party."
Jonas nods and stands up, eyeing the water below us. Elliott pulls me by the hands to help me stand up.
"I kind of want to jump," Jonas says thoughtfully. "Ivy, did it hurt?"
"When she fell from heaven?" Elliott jumps in jokingly. "Yes, it probably hurt like a bitch which is why she became one."
I give Elliott a shove before turning my attention back to Jonas. "Well, when I jumped off the cliff in Rhode Island, it felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly by a very sharp knife when I hit the water."
"Oh, pleasant," Jonas comments. "Have you jumped off this cliff?"
"She has, but she won't remember because..." Elliott holds up his pinky and his thumb and tilts his hand towards his mouth.
I gasp. "Elliott, I'm only nineteen! I've never had a drink in my entire life!"
Jonas rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say, Miss Way-To-Bend-It-Like-Steve-Harvey."
I sigh, remembering that time I answered Jonas' phone call while drinking wine with Jake Acker. "Whatever. You're not having a drink until you're thirty, okay?"
"Why do I have to what until I'm thirty?" Jonas asks.
"Because even without alcohol you act like you're drunk all the time!" I exclaim.
"Not so much drunk," Elliott steps in. "I'd say he acts high more often than drunk."
"Well, he won't be doing any drugs until he's eighty-four," I decide.
"Sounds like a solid plan, Ivy," Jonas says. "Now, since I'm neither high nor drunk right now, I'm going to make the calculated decision to just go home and put a t-bone on my eye instead of attempting to plunge myself down a cliff."
Elliott smiles proudly, knowing that whatever speech he gave his brother worked. Or it was me saying that jumping felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly. Either way, we're able to convince Jonas to go back to the party.
"Jonas," Elliott pauses, "why did you hesitate?"
Jonas raises an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"During the fight, all you had to do was punch Jett and he would've lost. What made you hesitate?"
"I told you already-"
Elliott cuts him off with a stern, "Jonas."
Jonas sighs and unbuckle his seatbelt. "I don't know, man. I just couldn't, okay?"
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Elliott asks. "You're my little brother, and I love you no matter what."
"I know that." He unlocks his door and opens it. Before he steps outside, he slams the door shut and locks it. "Let's go somewhere."
"What?"
"Well, I can't go inside," he says frantically, ducking down in his seat.
"Dude, what's wrong?" Elliott asks. He gets his answer before Jonas can respond. Noel is walking to the front door.
"Jett must have invited him," Jonas says, his voice deflated. "Ivy, can I hang out at your house?"
"No."
Jonas looks at me in shock. "What?"
"I said no," I clarify. "You need to work out whatever is going on with you, Jett and Noel."
"But-"
I cut him off, "no buts. Inside. Now." He follows my orders almost immediately. It feels good to be back in power.
~~
"How long have they been in there?" Elliott asks, joining me on his bedroom floor with two family sized barbecue potato chip bags.
We made Noel, Jonas, and Jett go into Jonas' room to hash things out. We're sitting in Elliott's room to make sure no unsupervised brawls start up.
"Almost an hour," I say and take one of the chip bags. "How's the party going?"
"Levi is filming some video that everyone wants to be part of," he laughs. "And Mikey wants to start a bonfire. Addison promised he was a Boy Scout. He's a Boy Scout, right?"
"Absolutely not," I laugh and throw a chip in my mouth. "I wouldn't be surprised if we had two fires started today."
I rest my head against Elliott's shoulder and keep my eyes on the Netflix show we have playing on his laptop. His familiar scent makes me feel so at home.
A loud bang from what I assume was Jonas' room snaps me back into reality. Elliott gets up first and takes my hand in his to pull me up. We run into Jonas' room to see what the commotion was.
All three boys are just sitting on the floor playing cards.
"Do you need something?" Jett asks politely.
My eyebrows draw closer together. "What was that noise?"
"Sounded like it came from the bathroom," Noel says. "You might want to check it out."
Elliott stands at the doorframe with a confused look on his face. I'm feeling the same way. They've just been playing cards this entire time! Figures. This is Jett and Jonas we're talking about here.
"Jo, can I talk to you in my room?" Elliott asks his brother.
I step past him to go to the bathroom and knock on the door. "Hello?"
The door swings open, and I'm met by not just Reyna but also Atticus, both looking very embarrassed. "Ivy! Do you have to go to the bathroom? I'm so sorry!"
"Uh, I just heard a loud noise and wanted to make sure everything was okay," I say awkwardly. I think we all know that I know what they were doing there.
"Oh, Atticus must've dropped his phone on accident. We were...looking for my earring! I lost it."
"Looking for my earring is the best euphemism for having sex I've ever heard," Jonas says. Elliott grabs his brother by the ear and pulls him into his room. Jonas cries out in pain.
I widen my eyes in embarrassment. "Wow! Okay! So, I'm glad you two came! It's so nice of you to come."
"Thanks, Ivy," Reyna says. "You and Elliott have both been super cool about the whole situation. I know it seems like it should be awkward and everything, but it really isn't."
"Yeah!" Atticus agrees. "I mean, we were even thinking maybe we could all go on a double date sometime or something."
I nod. "Oh! Well, Elliott and I aren't dating, but it's... Uh, that could've been fun!" I did just find the perfect way to make an awkward situation even more awkward for them.
Atticus smiles politely. "I'm sorry. We just assumed." He sucks in a breath. "Elliott hasn't been back to the apartment in awhile, so I thought maybe he was staying with you."
I shake my head slowly, more confused about Elliott not living at the apartment with Atticus anymore. "He hasn't been to the apartment?"
"At first I thought that maybe it was because of us and he might still feel awkward," Reyna starts, "but then we got invited to your surprise party and we didn't know what it was."
"Hm." I glance over at Elliott's closed door. "Well, thanks again for coming. Sorry for...uh...interrupting."
They give me tight-lipped smiles before heading downstairs. It's still amusing to me how my ex and Elliott's ex ended up together. I guess fate is fate.
I decide to join Jett and Noel instead of listening in on Elliott and Jonas' conversation. "Hey."
"Hey, Ivy," Jett says. "You want to play cards with us?"
"Sure." I take the cards as he deals them out. "So, what'd you guys talk with Jonas about?"
"Not much," Jett answers simply. "Jonas came clean about the yearbook and stuff and then just suggested we all play some cards."
I glance over at Noel who shoots me back a sweet smile. "That's nice." I look down at my hand of cards before clearing my throat. "Actually, Noel, do you mind if I talk to my little brother for a second?"
Noel shakes his head. "I'm actually getting kind of thirsty. Does anyone want a water?"
"I'm good," Jett says.
I nod. "Me too. Thanks, Noel." As soon as he closes the bedroom door, I say, "so, what's really going through your head right now?"
Jett falls on his back and lets out a strange squeal noise. "Heaven, help me!"
"That bad, huh?"
"Bad?" Jett shakes his head. "No, no. Ivy, I've spent all my life thinking that no guy is ever going to like me, but now I have two boys fighting for my love! This is far from bad."
I smile slightly. "You think Jonas has a crush on you?"
Jett shrugs. "I mean, can you blame him?"
"So, who do you like better?" I ask, almost giddily.
Once again, he shrugs. "This is my dilemma. On one hand, I have my best friend Jonas, who I already care about so much; except, he's really insecure about liking me, which I can understand and everything. I'd love to be there for him."
I nod. "I get that."
"But then there's still Noel. He's sweet and cares about me. It's just more simple with him." Jett lets out a laugh. "Hold on a second... When did I start sounding like you deciding between Elliott and Levi?"
I roll my eyes and give him a shove. "Hey! There was never any deciding between the two. I learned to separate my boys."
"If I pick Jonas," Jett pauses, "there's a chance he'll be too embarrassed to want to be with me. I don't want to break my own heart."
"Then pick Noel," I say, because the best thing I can do right now is support my brother.
"But Jonas," Jett sighs.
"Then pick Jonas."
Jett falls down again, this time screaming louder than before. "You pick for me."
"I pick you, Jett," I say simply. "If you don't want to get your heart broken by Jonas, then don't. If you don't like Noel enough to be in a relationship, then don't. If I have learned anything in my wise nineteen years, it's that there are more than just two boys on this earth, and you don't have to go searching for your soulmate right now. Fate is fate."
"I feel like getting that tattooed on my tongue," Jett responds. "Want to go get matching tattoos?"
I laugh and lunge forward to hug my little brother. "You'll always have me by your side anyway!"
"Hey, hate to break up this moment," Elliott says as he steps in the room, "but my client would like to speak to your client, Ms. Lynch."
"Let me check with my client first." I turn to Jett, who gives me a warm smile, but holds on to my arm. "Alright. Bring him in, Mr. Kennedy. But my client would like his manager to stay."
Elliott nods and Jonas walks past his brother to join us in the room. Noel starts walking into the room, but Elliott pushes him back lightly and locks the door.
"Elliott!" I gasp.
He presses his mouth to the crack of the door. "Give us five minutes, Noah."
"It's Noel," Noel mumbles behind the closed door.
Jonas sighs. "Look, Jett, I don't know what's going on with me right now, okay? I...I like you, but I-I don't like boys, or at least I never thought I liked boys. I'm just confused."
"That's okay, Jonas," Jett says. "It's normal. If you ever need anything, I can do my best in helping...but I'm not exactly an expert." He sighs. "And I really think what you need from me right now is just a friend."
Elliott clears his throat. Jonas nods and repeats Elliott's action, fiddling with his fingers.
"You're still my best friend, dude," Jonas says. "What I'm going through doesn't change that."
Jett smiles. "Good."
"So, what now?"
"Want to go play ghost in the graveyard with the other kids?" Jett suggests.
"I mean, yeah," Jonas says with a lopsided grin.
The two run out of the room, taking a slightly confused Noel with them. Elliott looks at me with a smile. He already knows what I'm thinking and starts following the boys downstairs immediately. I chase after him, unable to rid myself of the content smile that was glued itself onto my face.
The party ends near midnight. Elliott and I are the last two awake, cleaning up the backyard only slightly. We get distracted easily and start telling each other random stories the other hasn't heard before.
"I should head home," I say once it hits two. "I have to do some work around the house tomorrow and-"
"Stay," he interrupts, his hand reaching for mine. "Please."
"Elliott, I shouldn't," I sigh. "It's already so late."
"I can't have you walking home this late at night. It's too dangerous," he decides goofily. He starts walking up the stairs from the kitchen, tugging me lightly.
My feet follow after him like all those times before. We go into his room where he hands me his clothes to change into. While he goes to the bathroom, I put on his t-shirt and shorts. I look like a shrunken basketball player in this outfit. Sexy.
I crawl under his blankets, wrapping the fabric around my body to warm up. Elliott comes back from the bathroom in just his briefs, and it takes a lot in me to keep from grabbing for his body. He climbs into bed after shutting the lights off.
"I shouldn't be doing this," I sigh, thinking out loud. "This is not part of the friendzone ritual."
"We're simply having a sleepover, Ivy," Elliott reasons with a grin and adjusts his pillow.
I roll my eyes and let out a small laugh. "You always know how to get away with things like this, don't you?"
"I know your weaknesses," he says, throwing his arm around my waist and pulling me against his body.
I smile, my heart clenching as I think about all the love I have for this boy. For a period of my life, he had all my love. There was no one else I cared about more, until I found my family. It's crazy to think about how much I loved him. And when I think about it hard enough, he still has all that love.
As I get to thinking, I realize that this selfless act of keeping Elliott in the friendzone is more selfish than anything. I'm keeping him from loving anyone. It nearly rips my heart in half when I decide what I need to do.
"Elliott," I whisper into the darkness.
He mumbles a response to let me know he's awake, his mouth against my head.
"I don't want to keep you in the friendzone for another five years."
He perks up his position in interest. "Yeah?"
"I..." I bite my lip, worried that I might start crying. "I don't think I can be in your life at all." I had to rip it off like a bandaid, a horrible, terrible, ripped off bandaid.
"What?" I can hear the sheer disappointment in his voice.
"You need to move on," I say decisively.
"We've already tried this, Ivy. I always come back to you," he says. "It's always you."
"We need to try harder." I get out of the bed and strip out of his clothes. My words are moving faster than my mind. "You're not going to wait for me another five years. You're only nineteen, Elliott. I'm not taking away five years of your life." I change back into my clothes, wiping under my eyes with the fabric of his shirt.
"Ivy, don't go," Elliott urges, jumping out of bed to turn his light back on. "I'm not letting you out of my life again."
I drop my head to hide the tears falling from my eyes. "I'm sorry." I move forward to leave his room.
"Ivy," he takes my arms in his hands, "why are you doing this?"
"Because I can't feel guilty for another five years," I say. "You need to move on."
"No," he says. "No, I won't lose you." He presses his lips against mine frantically.
I push him away, my heart reaching out for his protection. "Stop, please." I want to punch myself for breaking my own heart again, and Elliott's.
"Well, what do you want me to do? You think I can just move on?" Elliott asks exasperatedly.
"You're not going to spend five years waiting for us, Elliott," I sigh and kiss him on the cheek, almost unable to leave this quick embrace. "I don't want to leave you with any hope; but, if we're still the same people in five years, then maybe we still have a chance."
"So, what now? I don't get to see you until five years from now?"
I decide not to answer his question, because I don't even know the answer.
"Promise me that this Fourth of July you'll make it your sparkler mission to fall in love with someone, someone new." I offer him a sweet smile. "It was the best accomplishment in my life, falling in love with you."
Elliott shakes his head slowly. "I love you."
"I know," I whisper, unable to raise my voice without it cracking. "I love you too."
"Just stay tonight," he says. "Stay tonight and I'll promise to make my sparkler mission to fall in love with someone new. But only if you stay tonight."
"Deal."
~~
AN:
*said in spongebob timekeeper voice* five years later
so. it just had to be done. the giant time jump is here. I know it's sad and everything and such and whatnot BUT GUYS we can't have this story go on forever.
can we just take a minute because in five years:
Ivy, Elliott, and Flynn will be 24
Nora will be 23
Addison and Mikey will be 20
Jonas and Jett will be 19
Crystal and Rosie will be 14
Ethan will be 9
Bethany will be 7
lord have mercy
y'all ain't ready for next chapter I AINT EVEN READY
I don't have an exact count on how many chapters left but my rough rough estimate will be no more than five ð
I'm not ready.
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