After the Friendsgiving party, Elliott wouldn't answer my calls or texts, which was probably a good thing on his part. All I was planning on doing was battling him in a screaming match. I was furious. I still am.
He has a girlfriend who lives with him, and then he goes around saying that he's still in love with me. Not on my watch, sir. It's madness. I won't stand being caught in some messed up cheating, not after everything I've been through. If he wants me, he'll pick me. But he can't also have her.
There's a chance he just said it in the heat of the moment, though I didn't feel any flames between us so that seems unlikely. It was strange of him, which isn't too weird for Elliott if I'm being honest. But still. He just walked away and went into a different conversation. What was I supposed to do? I hiked up my brown trousers and sprinted out of the apartment.
After I got back to my place, I expected a phone call from Elliott, or at least from Nora. Silence. I was almost tempted to call my phone company to make sure it was working correctly. Nora came home with Flynn at an absurdly late hour because apparently all the adults went out to the bars after the party. I'm glad I wasn't forced to be part of that as well.
Nora told me that Elliott wasn't still in love with me and that he probably meant that he still cares about me. Apparently, he seemed very attentive and loving with Evelyn the rest of the party. I'm not one to talk, but that could be just a show. Why would the host and hostess want to fight at their own party? Yeah, they wouldn't.
"No, Jett, I'm not letting you take Elm to Florida with you!" I snap into the phone. "How do expect him to get there, huh? I just hand him his boarding pass and he hops on a plane? He's a dog, in case you forgot!"
"They let Scooby on the plane in the Scooby Doo movie, Ivy!" he whines.
I grab a bowl for my cereal and set it on the counter, attempting to multitask and also sign my paychecks. "Look, bud, I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you."
"Whatever, hater!"
I hang up and sign off the check before pouring Cap'n Crunch and milk into the bowl. Before I get a chance to eat a spoonful, my phone rings with a phone call from Jonas. I swear, if he's trying to back up Jett in the Elm-to-Florida plan, I'll hang up.
"Hey, I'm really busy right now. I'm trying to get ready for-"
"Are you at the hospital?" he asks without letting me finish. Typical.
"No. My shift is in about half an hour. Is everything alright?"
I hear Addison talking loudly in the background, as well as the twins. Jonas tells them to keep their voices down. "Sort of, I think."
"Sort of, you think?" I raise an eyebrow and eat some cereal.
"Elliott blacked out again, which obviously doesn't concern you, but we're all at the hospital and we just... I don't know. It'd be nice to see a familiar face. All these nurses suffer with some serious resting bitch faces."
I smile softly. "Okay, Jo, I'll try to get there as soon as possible to see you before my shift starts."
"Thanks, Ivy," he mumbles into the phone before ending the call.
I slip my phone into my bag before rushing around to get ready. In ten minutes, I'm out the door and heading to the bus stop. Luckily, I make the earlier bus and can get to the hospital before my shift starts with enough time to see the Kennedy's.
I'm left to wonder why Elliott had blacked out again during my bus ride. Dr Green was pretty certain that Elliott had just been overworking himself and had collapsed from exhaustion. All we saw were signs of pre-hypertension that didn't alarm Dr Green. There's a good chance Elliott didn't rest like he had been prescribed to do. Hopefully it isn't anything other than lack of sleep.
Throwing my backpack over my shoulders, I hop off the bus and walk into the hospital. I make a guess that Elliott was taken to immediate care and make my way down to that area of the hospital. Ethan sees me first and blurts out my name loudly, and a few nurses direct their attention to him.
"See what I mean about the resting bitch face, Ivy?" Jonas asks.
I shake my head and give him a hug before saying hi to the rest of the family. "What's up?"
"Eve called us from work to tell us that Elliott hadn't picked up any of his calls, so we went over to check on him since we were flying back home today, and in this family a double goodbye is better than a single goodbye." Jonas clears throat after going on his mini-tangent. "We found Elliott passed out in the shower and he must've hit his head on the soap holder or something since he was bleeding. We rushed him over here, but no one has told us anything."
I nod, pretending to stay calm, but my stomach is in knots thinking about Elliott getting hurt like that. "Okay. I'll go see if I can get some more information for you. I'll be right back." I walk over to my friend Marc and ask if he knows anything about a patient named Elliott Kennedy.
"This is his chart. The only thing that's sticking out is some high blood pressure," Marc says. His eyes scan the page briefly. "Paul's his nurse. He'll probably know more." He tucks the chart away. "You know this kid?"
"Yeah, he's a friend of mine," I explain briefly. "Thanks for the help, Marc." Before going back to the Kennedy's, I try to find Paul to see if I can give more of an explanation to Elliott's family. "Hey, Paul."
Paul is one of the more interesting nurses I work with. I can't tell if he hates me or if that's just his humor. Most times I decide that he just hates me for no reason at all.
He stops just at the bathroom door, turning around slowly. "Hi, Ivy. You need something?"
"Yeah, actually. Is now a good time?"
"Of course it is! It's not like I have a bladder to empty or anything. I'll just hold it. What's another urinary track infection?" He laughs brutally. "What can I help you with, sweetie?"
I bite my tongue to keep from commenting on his over-the-top attitude. "My friend Elliott is one of your patients today. His family is waiting to find out anything about his state. I was hoping you'd be able to fill me in."
Paul sighs. "He's in room 145. He just got like a million stitches in his head. His blood pressure was high when he came in, which probably was the reason he fainted. I have to go and talk to him later to see if what's raising his blood pressure is mental since he claims to live a pretty healthy lifestyle physically."
"Is he awake now?"
"No, I'll let the family know when he wakes up. He needs his beauty sleep for now, Ivy."
I fake a warm smile. "Thanks, Paul."
After reporting back to the Kennedy's, I leave to work. I promised I'd give them a call when I finished to visit Elliott. Ideally, they hope he can come home. He might have to stay at the hospital overnight, and they wanted me to visit him since they'll be on their flight back home by then.
Once my shift ends, I change out of my scrubs and go over to where Elliott's room is. Paul is at the information desk talking with Marc.
He smiles and walks over to me. "Hey, you here to see Mr Abercrombie?" I don't have enough energy after work to laugh. "He's awake now. I just finished talking to him. You know his girlfriend? Evangelist?"
"Evelyn," I correct.
"Right, yeah. Stressing him the f out. Imagine if your girlfriend hospitalized you regularly." Paul laughs in joy. "Insane."
I frown. "Can I talk to him?" I don't wait for Paul to give me the okay and walk to Elliott's room.
He looks pale against the white sheet. He's bandaged around the head, and wires are all around him. I desperately want to comfort him, just as I would have years before. Neither of us say anything as I step closer to the bed.
"Hey, Ivy," he finally breaks the silence, his weak voice booming in my ears.
"Come here often?" I throw out the cheesy joke.
Elliott smiles slightly. He can barely keep his eyes open, but he never loses eye contact with me.
I laugh at my joke for myself and pull a chair by the bed to sit closer to him. My hand involuntarily reaches out to touch his arm. I can't help but blame myself for being the reason Elliott has put his health in danger. He moved on because I made him promise to. He must've been trying to keep that promise for so long that it exhausted his heart to the point of collapsing.
"I thought you were happier," I whisper, as if telling a horrible secret.
"I thought you were too."
My heart tightens in my chest. Of course Elliott would be the one to see right through me. Faking happiness is something we have both done before, and we both brought each other out of that.
I can tell myself I'm happy with my life right now as much as I want, but it won't ever make it true. I'm not happy anymore. I don't have the relationships I used to have with people I love. Instead of rebuilding new ones, I just live with an emptiness in my heart.
"Why did you say you were still in love with me at the party?" I ask, needing to get it off my chest.
He just smiles, clearly not wanting to talk to me about this. "Come on, Ivy. Not now."
"No, we're doing this now." I cross my arms over my chest, almost embarrassed to be forcing this conversation out of a hospitalized man. "Are you still in love with me, Elliott?"
He's silent. His eyes leave my gaze, and he fiddles with the blanket. "I don't...I don't know."
"You have a girlfriend, Elliott." I bite my cheek to keep myself from raising my voice. "I don't know if you're happy with her, or if she's the reason you're under all this stress. I-I wouldn't know." I take a deep breath. "But I can't be the other woman."
"You're not the other woman, Ivy," he says sternly.
"It feels like I am," I say, nodding my head. "It sucks, Elliott." I try to keep my emotions down. "I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm still in love with you. And, trust me," I almost laugh, "I-I don't want to be."
"Ivy."
"I'm sorry," I mumble. "I'm just tired of it."
"I know. So am I," he says softly.
I shake my head slowly, unable to contain the thoughts racing through my head. "Then choose me."
The air seems to go quiet. The buzzing of the machines connected to Elliott fade out, and my ears are filled with the loud pumping of blood flow throughout my body. Whatever Elliott chooses to say next can change everything, or nothing at all. I begin to hold my breath without even realizing.
"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over."
I snap my head in Paul's direction. "I'm not a visitor."
"Oh, you're working your shift right now? While flirting with one of my patients? Even better!"
I click my tongue and stand up from my chair. "Fine." I glance over at Elliott. He's already looking away from me. "I'll leave." I suck in a breath and leave the hospital room without looking back.
It was selfish of me to tell him to choose me. I'm the reason we aren't together in the first place. I left for college, I wanted to follow this career path, I told him to fall in love with someone else. I'm the reason he found Evelyn. How can I be the reason he leaves her? How could I be the one he comes back to? I can't be. I can't expect him to choose me, but I want him to, and I can't change wanting him to pick me.
I'm better when I'm with him. I thought I wasn't, and I thought I'd be better off without him. What have these five years been for me? I lost countless friendships and relationships. I lost a second family. I burry myself in work to hide the fact that I'm lonely.
I hate that I'm this weak. I'm not saying that I need Elliott, but I do want him. I want my life to be better, happier. He's my family; I'll love him always, no matter who he chooses.
~~
A week passes since Elliott's second visit to the hospital. I haven't gotten any texts or calls. I once again call my phone company to ask if my phone is broken, and they once again tell me that everything is fine. I just expected something. Even a, "I hope we can still be friends ð" text would be appreciated. I need to know what he's thinking.
I get home after a long day of work. My shift went to eleven-thirty. By the time I change into my pajamas and sit down on my couch in front of the TV, it's midnight. With mindless TV playing in the background, I scroll through FaceBook.
Somehow-- who knows, maybe I might've searched her, I don't really know-- I end up on Evelyn's page. Her status is still in a relationship, but a lot of people don't change that immediately.
I'd be surprised if Elliott stayed with her. Not because of me, but because she landed him in the hospital. Flynn told me that Evelyn was very aggressive and demanding of Elliott. She bought the apartment for the two of them to live in, even though Elliott had wanted to stay in his house-- that he bought for me, just in case anyone forgot. She flipped on him anytime he did anything that wasn't written on her color-coded calendar. Knowing how unpredictable Elliott can be, that was probably a frequent occurrence.
The front door to my apartment flings open and in walks a giggling crowd. Elm starts barking in protection, but calms down after he recognizes the familiar faces. Nora, Flynn, and Elliott are drunk off their butts. I stand up, wrapping my robe around my body before approaching the tipsy party.
"Hey, guys, look!" Flynn announces, pointing a finger in my face. "It's Ivy!"
"Ivy!" Nora sings in excitement.
"Hey!" I sing back, helping Nora when she trips out of her heels. "Where have you guys been?"
"They were at the bars," Elliott says, sounding more sober than the other two. "I got the call to drive them home."
"Getting lit at the clubs!" Flynn says loudly as if Elliott hadn't already responded. "I whipped all over that dance floor. Nobody could stop me!"
"Congrats, Flynn." I help Nora over to the couch where she lays herself down.
Elliott walks with Flynn, helping his friend sit down next to Nora. "I'm sorry I'm just dumping them here with you. I'm staying at a motel and there isn't a lot of room in the twin bed. I hope that's alright."
I nod, deciding not to question him on the motel thing. "Yeah, it's fine." I finally take a minute to take in his appearance. "Oh my gosh. What happened to your eye?" I'm tempted to touch the bruised skin to comfort him, but control the urge.
"An alarm clock to the face," he says. "That I deserved."
I raise my eyebrows. "Did you play Monopoly with Jonas and try to take all the orange properties?"
Elliott smiles. "I probably would've been a lot more beaten up if that were the case."
"Yeah," I laugh, "most likely would've had another sprained arm."
He nods and sucks in a breath. "Yep."
I chew on my tongue. "Uh huh."
Oh, for the love of all things awkward, can Nora or Flynn say some drunk slurs to put me out of this misery?
"I should get home," Elliott says. "I have work tomorrow."
I nod. "Okay."
He spins on his heel to head to the front door. Before he opens it, he turns back around to face me. "I broke up with Evelyn."
"Maybe it was about time your girlfriend turned on you and gave you the black eye before you could hit her with a ping pong ball," I say, putting on a calm facade. I surprised myself with that quick and witty response.
Elliott can't help but laugh. "Yeah, maybe it was."
I don't know what he expects me to say. We end up awkwardly standing across from each other for a few painfully silent seconds. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replies and turns to leave again.
A part of me hopes he'll turn back to me. I almost reach out to stop him from leaving because I just can't bare losing him again. But those lost five years prevent me from grabbing his hand, prevent me from finally having my happy ending.
Elliott shuts the door behind him.
I go to deal with Nora and Flynn, ignoring the pain in my chest. I stay with them watching some baking show until they sober up and head to Nora's room for bed.
Nora stops in my room, plopping down on my bed. "Did you hear that Elliott broke up with Evelyn?"
"I heard," I say. "How's he doing?"
"Flynn said he seems better than the first couple of days. I think they did love each other, but he just loved someone else more." Nora smirks. "I wonder who that could be."
I do my best not to blush. "I don't think I'm the reason they broke up, Nora. Elliott wasn't healthy."
"Yeah, yeah." She shrugs and picks at my comforter. "Well, whatever the case, we're all rooting for our Elliott and Ivy happy ending."
"It isn't looking so good, Nor. Things are just so... awkward. I don't know."
"Of course things are awkward, but you'll get past it. Text him tonight. See if you can get some small talk going," she suggests. "I'm going to go bed. Love you."
"You too," I mumble and pull out my phone. Should I text him? He hasn't responded to the last message I sent him a few weeks ago, but maybe he just forgot.
hi
I send it. There's no going back now. I wait very impatiently for a response. What was I thinking? It's almost one in the morning. He's probably sleeping by now. Hi? Seriously, Ivy, do you ever think things through?
After ten minutes of a near nervous breakdown, my phone rings with a new message from Elliott.
is this your idea of a late night booty call?
I smile reading the text, mostly just happy that he actually responded to me. Shoot. Now I'll have to actually keep up the conversation. I decide to just send him a gif of Phil Dunphy from Modern Family shrugging.
He replies almost immediately this time with, it's an honor
I ask him about the kids in his class, and he tells me about his favorites-- though he claims he doesn't have any favorites. We talk about my job and Paul. Elliott had some very interesting conversations with Paul while he was in the hospital.
We don't stop texting until three in the morning like we're teenagers who don't need the sleep.
He's the first to make the move to end the conversation.
Hate to leave you on the edge of your seat, but the story of how I called a kid a weenie will have to wait for another time
We make plans to see each other, but it just feels like friends hanging out. I'm so happy that it wasn't awkward between us. It felt like the days when we were dating or when we were friends, the days when I was happier.
I barely get any sleep, since my alarm starts blaring at six in the morning. Oh how I love the shifts at the hospital. Nora and Flynn are still sleeping when I leave for work. Even Elm is still sound asleep.
After work, I grab some things at the grocery store for the apartment. Nora and Flynn are gone when I come back with things to make dinner. I take Elm on a quick walk before making a chicken salad. Once I eat my dinner, I'm ready for bed again. I curl up in my bed and watch a bit of Netflix on my laptop.
My phone rings about midway through my show with a call from Elliott. I answer on the third ring to keep things subtle. "Hello?"
"Hey, Ivy. It's me. I'm just sitting in this motel with no internet connection bored to tears and I thought, 'wow, right now is the best time to tell Ivy the story about the kid I called a weenie!' Is now a good time?"
"It's funny you should ask because I had just been thinming, 'wow, I really hope Elliott tells me about the kid he called a weenie right now!'"
"Oh, perfect," he laughs. "Promise you're not busy?"
"I'm not busy," I assure and close my laptop. "Let's hear it."
"Okay. So it was the first day of class, and I'm dealing with about thirty nine-year-olds, right? Emotions are high. I'm emotional. The kids are emotional. It's not pretty." He takes a breath. "So this kid who literally is an exact replica of Lord Farquaad from Shrek comes up to me and starts bawling his eyes out."
"Lord Farquaad?"
"You know, the short jackass with the horrible haircut from Shrek?"
"I know who he is. I just had to make sure that you said that a nine year old looked like him," I say.
"If you saw this kid, Ivy, you would have to do a double take to make sure it wasn't actually Lord Farquaad." He laughs to himself before continuing the story.
I find myself listening to Elliott with an uncontrollable smile. We talk for about an hour before I drift off to sleep. I feel bad about just leaving him on the line like that without a formal goodbye. I just haven't had that good of a night of sleep in a long time.
~~
AN:
kind of an awkward ending but eh what can you do
yoo we've got some major changes in my life! im in college?? what?? who?? where?? when?? so that's new and kind of scary but like we're here and we're thriving
three more chapters guys... HOW CAN I HANDLE THIS JUST KIDDING I CANT HANDLE IT AT ALL three more. dangity dang.
I'll miss you guys so much aw :( your comments & support keep me motivated in more ways than just Wattpad. so make sure to check out some of my other works so we don't have to lose our connection thanks
you guys are oh so sweet! so so much love!
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