I'm scared.
I'm so scared.
My heart thuds almost painfully against my chest as I walk towards the Study Section. Why am I so terrified to face my mate?
Because you know he'll reject you, the shitty little voice I call my inner thoughts whispers in my head.
Supportive, I know.
I peek around the corner and am faced with the large expanse of the Study Section. I pause, holding the wall for support. Am I really about to do this?
The Study Section is a large room lined with arched windows to let natural light in. Tables of four are lined in rows, creating what should be a neat assortment of areas for students to sit. However, it seems that Maxton and Blessing's group has pushed together 3 tables to fit their group of about ten wolves in the middle of the room. Besides them, five or six other groups are sitting at their tables.
Looks like I'll have an audience.
I can't help but notice the pack of lycans sitting in the back corner. Sabrina, Allistar, Corban, Cora, and Kairos.They all seem to be whispering amongst themselves. I can't see Corban and Cora since their backs are turned to me, but I see Kairos. His chiseled jaw is set in a hard line as he clenches and unclenches it. He runs a hand through his wavy hair and balls his fists. Is he frustrated about something? He rolls his eyes at something Corban says and leans back in his chair.
His eyes meet mine. His silver eyes root me to the ground, and I find myself unable to move. And for some reason, I don't want to. I could stare at him forever. I drink him in. He's wearing a dark grey crew neck that is so snug around his broad shoulders to the point that I can sense the muscled body that lies underneath. He is positively breath-taking.
Okay, Hazel, rewind.
Breath-taking? I think to myself, your mate is right there! I force myself to look away and let out a breath I don't know I'm holding.
It's got to be the lycan aura. Definitely the lycan aura. Doesn't matter that I don't feel or think this way about Corban or Allistar. Only Kairos. But it's definitely the lycan aura that makes him so damn irresistible. That makes me want to stare at him all day. That makes me want to touch him, to feel the muscles under his sweater, to run my hands through his hair, toâ
"Squishy!" Blessing's sing-songy voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "Oh, Squishy, what are you hiding over there for? Won't you join us?" A small smile plays on her lips.
To anyone who doesn't know us, they would see a younger sister calling her older sister over to hang out with the addition of a cute childhood nickname.
But unfortunately, I know Blessing. The seemingly innocent smile is dripping with distaste. Blessing hates when I interact with her friends. Blessing hates when anyone talks to me. And most of all, Blessing hates me. Squishy, a nickname that seems endearing, is actually an insult. She knows I'm self-conscious about my body and looks, and Squishy is a name she uses to poke fun at that.
I unconsciously wrap my arms around myself once more, as if to protect against her glare. Blessing and I may never have the sisterly bond I hoped for growing up, but we are able to co-exist. I mind my business, and she minds hers. I force myself to relax and let my feet carry me over to their table.
"Hazel, my dear sister," her voice feigns sympathy, "you look awful today! Are you feeling okay?" She tilts her head to the side for dramatic effect.
I'm feeling perfectly fine, of course. Other than the fact that I want to jump into a dark hole and never interact with another human being again, perfectly fine. Surprisingly, I also look the same as I do every day. My dark curls are twisted into a manageable braid, and I'm wearing a slightly oversized knit beige sweater and black pants.
"I'm fine, Blessing," I say hesitantly. My eyes trail to Maxton who's already looking at me intently. "Maxton," I pause, "Maxton, can I talk to you?"
In the corner of my eye, I see Blessing's eyes narrow. His eyes dart nervously to me, Blessing, and the other wolves at the table. It's mostly higher-ranked wolves. I recognize Blessing's best friend, Jessie, and the Theta's son, Jason. Interestingly, Arthur, the Beta's son, and Maxton's best frien,d is missing. Maxton clears his throat.
"I'm kind of busy right now, maybe later." He can no longer meet my eyes. My heart drops. I try again.
"I really need to talk to you. Can we please just talk?"
He looks uncomfortable, I realize. His muscles are tense, and his knees are bobbing up and down. Everyone at the table is giving us curious stares.
"Why are you bothering him?" Blessing interrupts again, "Can't you tell he doesn't want to talk to you?" I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out.
I can absolutely tell he doesn't want to talk to me. I just can't understand why.
"And obviously," Blessing continues, "why would the future alpha want to talk to you," she sneers the last word and looks me up and down. "Why don't you stop being annoying and run along now?"
A low, intimidating growl breaks the chatter in the room. Everyone's heads snap to locate the source of the sound. It came from the back corner, from the lycans. They all seemed preoccupied with whatever they were doing, with no indication of releasing a growl that sounded so possessive. Kairos' back is turned to us now, and he's staring out the window. I wait a couple of seconds more.
"Maxton," I interject one more time, pleading now, "please?" Maybe it's the desperation on my face, maybe it's the way my hand is reaching for him, but he finally stands up from his chair. He walks over to me, he's so close that I can smell him. His hand almost reaches out to touch me, but he stops himself and stuffs his balled fists in his pockets instead.
"Let's talk outside," he answers gruffly and begins walking away. I don't even turn to look at Blessing, who I'm sure is pissed, before I start trailing after him. We walk in silence towards the door of the Archives. I look at him while we walk. He looks so tense, so angry.
Finally, he opens the doors and I follow him out to the side of the building.
"Maxton," I say, "we're mates." I can't keep the hopeful tone out of my voice.
"We're mates." He replies, looking to the side.
"Why won't you look at me?" He clenches his jaw at this. "Why wouldn't you talk to me?"
I wait for him to respond but he says nothing. The silence feeds the growing pit of anxiety in my stomach, and I can't help the words that spill out.
"We just met, and you won't talk to me? I don't understand. What's wrong?" He still doesn't say anything. I grab his hand in mine now so I can feel the mate bond pulse between us. "Can't you feel this, the bond? We're mates! Maxton, we are-"
"Of course, I can fucking feel it," he almost spits at me as he snatches his hand away. "But," he hesitates now, 'But, I don't want to."
There it is.
"I-I don't understand," I stutter. I can feel tears gathering behind my eyelids as my breathing becomes heavier. This can't be happening. This cannot be happening. Maxton squeezes his eyes shut like he's in pain.
"I don't want this. I don't want you as my mate."
"But," the tears are leaking from my eyes now. "Why?"
It hurts. It hurts so much.
"The bond is sacred. The Moon Goddess herself set it up. We can't go against fate," I try to reason with him.
He shakes his head. He doesn't care.
"I'll be a good mate," I'm begging now. "I'll be a good mate, I swear. I have waited for you, for so long. Please."
I'm full-on crying.
"Please, accept me."
"I'm going to be the Alpha. I have to do what's best for the pack. An Archivist, a regular wolf, you" he looks at me now. "You aren't good enough."
I bring my hand up to cup my mouth to muffle the sobs that want to escape. I shake my head in denial. He can't be doing this. He cannot do this.
I've heard it before. From my parents, my sister, from potential friends, from everyone. But this was the one time, the one time it was supposed to be different. My mate. If I can't be enough for everyone else, I thought I might be enough for him. I was wrong.
"I, Maxton Briar, reject you, Hazel Wren, as my mate."
I feel our bond break. I break right along with it.
Word Count: 1573 words
I feel so bad for Hazel :(. I'm only two chapters in and I can't stand hurting her :(((
How are you guys feeling? Do you think Maxton will change his mind? Drop a comment and a vote, if you'd like :).
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Love, libahrary