When I last updated, @HumanatiesCutest suggested I should write about something "empowering or more uplifting." I thought it seemed like a good idea, so I screenshot the comment so I wouldn't forget. And then, in true me fashion, promptly proceeded to not do anything about it for a week and a half. It wasn't because I forgot about it, it was because I was trying to think of something to write about. Sure, I've talked about the problems attached to the gender identity, but I haven't done much on what's good about it (here at least, I wrote a chapter on someone else's book and I think that one had a positive message to it).
After a lot of thinking (I didn't want to just write about the example they gave), I was almost ready to give up. Not because there's nothing good about being Genderfluid, because there is, but I was just struggling to think about something I wanted to write about.
I wish I could say I had a sudden epiphany, that the skies opened before me and blinding light poured from the sky, accompanied by a booming voice that told me what to write about. But that didn't happen. I mean, the sky was clear and the sunlight was blinding, but that's normal here.
What actually happened is less exciting than that. The idea hit me about the same time my notifications blew up from a genderfluid group chat I'm in.
Community.
Yeah, that's one of my favorite things about being genderfluid. The Genderfluid Community (and the Trans* community in general).
Before starting this journal and before joining fluid groups on other websites, I had never talked to other genderfluid people. I had read journals from people who identified as such, but I was always too nervous to talk to them. And when I started writing this, it was with the idea that nobody would actually read it. This was just a way to work through some of my thoughts and feelings. I wrote it as if it was going to have people reading it, but I didn't think people would actually find it. It was more so a way to talk through my thoughts and feelings and all that good stuff, because (as previously stated) I wasn't talking to other people like me.
And then, much to my surprise, people did this. Even more surprising, people started talking to me. I've met some really cool people, genderfluid or not, ever since I started writing. And then, like I mentioned earlier, I started joining random groups based on gender on social media, and met even more people that way. I'm in a group chat with 20+ other genderfluid people, and another chat with a lot of trans* people. I've never really seen a group of people so understanding and supportive of each other.
I never really expected to find such a welcoming community filled with people who just wanted to find themselves, make friends, and support each other.
There's something decidedly liberating about finding others like you.
Knowing people who can relate to your situation, whatever it may be, makes you realize that you aren't completely alone.
It's helped me a lot and I've been a lot more comfortable with myself. I'm really happy I started talking to people who were going through the same thing as me (and people who identify as different genders or are questioning). Hopefully others have had the same experience with talking to amazing people in this community.
Thanks HumanatiesCutest for making the suggestion, I don't know that I ended up fulfilling it, but nevertheless I liked writing about this.
-Mikah (androgyne)