My pretty bird, my favorite lullaby
How'd I become the thorn in your side
All your laughter turned into a cry
It's alright, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,...
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I pushed the strand of hair that fell down my face to the side. I huffed in frustration when I couldn't open the box. The tape was layered twice and it wouldn't budge.
"Let me help you," Liam said.
I slowly nodded and let him do the job. Liam has been helping the whole day. I've been unpacking all of the last accessories I've ordered.
Today was the last day before opening my Café. It was always my dream to do so. Since I was younger I wanted to be an owner of a Café. It will have books to borrow and also it will be a good space for authors to write their books and also have a coffee or a tea. There will be some pastries as well.
My Mom was an author and I would spend my childhood years in her office while she was writing. I would sit on her lap and eat my chocolate cookie while she would bring characters to life. That's why I was opening this Café called Diana for her. I know she would have loved it.
The space was located basically in the center of the city. It had big windows and the inside was filled with flowers and the walls were decorated with paintings. On the left side there were book shelves and I have already placed all of the books. Books from all genres.
The counter was located on the opposite wall of the main door and it had flowers hanging above.
Liam will be my first employee and I'm thankful that he's here to help me.
We have been rushing to prepare everything in time and that's why I had to stay late tonight and finish every detail that's left.
"Here." He said and handed me the box.
"Thank you, Liam." I took the box and started taking out the paper tissues. They were in a beautiful sage color.
Liam then went to finish his work and I continued with mine.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out. It was the alarm I set as a reminder to check out the date for my dentist appointment that I had in a week. The clock was 5 pm and when I looked at the date my body stilled.
It was May the 3rd. The day me and Hade divorced. The thought of Hade brought me feelings that I have been bottling up for the past year. It has not been easy. Not at all.
After the accident when I asked him for divorce, Hade didn't take it lightly. With tears in his ocean eyes, he begged me that everything will be alright and that he will explain everything to me.
And he did.
Still, I couldn't let myself be in that marriage anymore. He used me as his pawn. I was a pawn in their game of revenge. I don't blame him for wanting my dad to pay for his sins but he had no right to use me as a tool in their sick games.
I helplessly fell in love with him. He was my first love and I will never forget him, but for myself, I had to take the step and divorce him.
It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and it tore my heart apart.
It did. I don't even know if it's ever gonna make space for another person. It probably won't.
I pushed the thoughts of him away and tried to focus on the work I had in front of me. I fixed my shirt and began sorting the paper tissues and placing them in the cabinet next to the counter.
The weather was hot and I fanned my face. Even though my clothes were thin it didn't help. I was dressed in a loose white shirt and thin beige wide pants. My hair was in a messy ponytail but the few short strands were falling down my forehead and irritated me to the fullest.
I went to the storage room and checked if anything else was missing. Everything was in its place and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Kiya!" I heard Liam's voice.
"Yes?" I yelled back.
"Someone's here to see you." Huh? Could it be Stephanie? She didn't say anything about visiting today.
I fixed my hair for the thousandth time today. My sneakers clicked against the wooden floor. The main space was silent and when I entered it my heart stopped.
It was Hade.
He was here.
He looked different yet the same. His dark blue eyes didn't have the same sparks as the time we first met.
This felt like meeting for the first time but there was so much history and pain behind our gazes.
My eyes traveled over him and I noticed the light beard covering his jaw. He never kept a beard while we were together. He was like always dressed in a suit and it fitted him perfectly as every time before.
Tiredness was written all over his face.
"Kiya." His lips moved and his voice reached my ears.
"Hade," I said back. Tasting his name on my lips after so long. Name that was imprinted on my heart for the past year but never on my lips.
He took a step closer to me. My body stilled and I fisted my hands to my side. My heartbeat increased and it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
I have not seen him since the day we divorced. It seems like he was avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. We lived in the same city but never crossed paths.
I was telling myself that I want to see him somewhere but now that he was standing in front of me it showed me how much I can't handle being in the same space as him. My heart can't take it.
All I want is to hug him and glue myself to his body. I want him to hold me like our first two perfect months.
When he would hold me till I fell asleep.
"This place looks nice." His words brought me back to reality.
His eyes tore away from me and wandered around. Liam must have gone to the storage room or somewhere outside because he was nowhere to be found.
"Thank you." My voice came out in a whisper.
He nodded and placed his hands in his black slacks.
"You always wanted this." He smiled. I have told him before how much I dreamed of opening a Café. We always talked about it while we were engaged. I told him about every detail and he carefully listened to everything I had to say.
"Yes. I'm really happy with how everything turned out." There was an awkward tension between us.
"I'm glad you're doing good." His eyes found mine again and I dig my fingers into my palm.
Please look away, Hade. Because if you don't I won't be able to contain my tears.
"What brought you here?" I asked after a minute. Why did he show up now?
Did something happen?
"Umm, I'm not working in my father's company anymore. I kind of don't have a contact with them anymore. After... after what happened." He paused with each sentence.
Since the whole truth came out I knew he got into a fight with his parents.
I lost contact with Dad as well.
Dad who I was repulsed with every time I remembered what he did.
The thoughts of the horrible things he did haunt me every day.
The truth hurt.
Every time I remember, I can't believe that the man I called father would do such a thing.
The man I loved more than anything was a horrible person. After Mom died when I was nine years old, Dad was the only family I had left. He was my rock and the only person I could have relied on.
When Hade told me the whole truth, everything crumbled into pieces.
Our marriage was a contract for Hade's family to take revenge on my father.
Revenge for his younger sister. I've never met Lilian but from what Hade told me she was the sweetest girl. The way he talked about her, with so much love in his voice, it made my stomach clench in pain.
She was sixteen when she met my Dad. He was forty-eight. That thought alone made me sick.
He met her in high school where he had one of his presentations about his company. She was a teenage girl and fell into my father's wrath. He manipulated her to the point where she helplessly fell in love with him.
I always knew that Dad had someone in his life and I was happy that he moved on after my Mom's death. Little did I know what he was doing behind my back.
Lilian was so young and naive it breaks my heart. She thought that Dad was going to give her the world and be in her life forever.
After a year of seeing each other, Dad ended things with her and that was when she fell into a depression.
A few months later, before she turned eighteen she ended her life by overdosing on pills. She left a letter for Hade where she explained about her love for my Dad. Hade and his parents found out the whole truth from her friend who couldn't live with the guilt of not telling everyone earlier.
They plotted and started a partnership with Dad and asked for my hand in marriage. Because Dad was money hungry, he immediately agreed and so did I, after seeing how happy it would have made him. As I said, he was my everything and I was willing to do anything for him, even get into an arranged marriage.
"Also I wanted to see you," Hade spoke again and my eyebrows pinched together. After a year he wanted to see me.
"I'm leaving. I'm moving to Australia." My ears buzzed and the words made the air in my lungs disappear.
A wire of pain wrapped around my heart and squeeze to the point where tears welled up in my eyes.
He was leaving.
"Oh. You are?" My chin trembled and my words came out broken.
I had no right to be sad about this. It was his life and he was going to do whatever he wanted to do. We were separated. Divorce. Nothing was tying us together anymore.
"Yeah. I found a job there. And also I... it would be a good new start I guess. This city suffocates me. The memories and the stuff I did to you... It's better for me to leave." He shrugged his shoulders while giving me a pained smile that didn't reach his eyes.
I bit my lip so hard it might have bled.
For the past year, I knew Hade was somewhere here. That thought alone consoled me that at least I was not alone. But now... he was going to be on the other side of the world and I'll possibly never see him again.
"I'm happy for you, Hade." His eyes softened and he probably noticed my glossy eyes.
I loved Hade. I still do. After everything that happened, my love for him never disappeared. It won't. As much as I tried, it won't.
I knew how much he has been through because of my Dad and how much guilt he held for what happened to Lilian and me.
"Can I... Can I hug you for the last time, Kiya?"
For the last time.
No please, I can't handle this. My breath hitched and the tears fell down my eyes. They soaked my cheeks and blurred my vision.
A loud sob left my lips and I felt strong hands wrap around my fragile body. They tightened over me and sandwiched my hands between me and him.
"Shh." He whispered in my hair and rubbed my back.
My body shook and my throat burned. I wanted to scream at me not to let me go. I hiccuped and felt his torso tremble with each stroke on my back.
Our hearts silently cried in our chests.
They begged us to end this suffering.
"It's okay Kiya. You'll be fine. Remember that there's always going to be someone who loves you. I'll always love you." I knew he was crying as well by his voice.
I entangled my arms and wrapped them around his waist. I buried my face in his chest and cried. And he let me. He held me closer to him and let me cry my heart out.
I never knew that it could hurt so much. Never knew that a person can take so much pain. I was losing the only person I ever loved.
He was slipping through my fingers.
"Please don't cry, Kiya. Please." He pleaded with so much desperation. "I've seen enough of you crying for me. You shouldn't. I don't deserve your tears." But I couldn't stop.
Minute after minute passed and we didn't let go of each other. His hand fisted my shirt and my fingers dig into his suit jacket.
Eventually, our bodies separated and Hade's palms traveled to my face. He wiped my remaining tears with his thumbs and gave me his sad smile.
His eyes were rimmed with red and tears stained his cheeks.
"I'm leaving tomorrow. The lake house is in your name. I left it to you before we divorced. Whenever you feel like escaping from here, you can go there. I know how much you liked it." He ran his fingers back and forth over my face.
"You'll find someone who deserves you, Kiya. Someone who's not going to hurt your heart like I did. You'll be happy." No, I won't. I know he was saying that just to make me feel better, but it won't happen because my heart belongs to him.
He leaned his face and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead.
I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy our last few minutes together. If it's all I have, let me absorb it and consume it all.
"Goodbye, Kiya." He whispered against my skin. He pulled back and his hands fell to his side. The absence of his skin on mine made me want to crumble.
"Goodbye, Hade," I said slowly.
He took a step away from me and for the last time before leaving, smiled at me. He gave me his smile which sparked up my day. But at this moment, it wrapped it up in a shadow.
I watched him turn around and make his way over to the door. His hand went over his face and what I assumed, wiped his tears.
The door opened and he stepped out. He disappeared behind the glass doors and I left there rotted to the ground beneath me.
The last few tears fell down my face.
This was the end of our story.
There was nothing left anymore.
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