Old Ghosts
"How could you?" Justin repeated. "How could you do this to me? Of all the people I did not expect this to come from you?"
I sighed. "How many times must I apologize for something this stupid Justin?"
I heard his breath rush out over the phone and cringed. Here it comes. "Stupid!" he screeched and I jerked the phone away from my ear. "Stupid? How dare you!"
I rolled my eyes. "Could you stop being a drama queen for five minutes and be oh, let's say, the Theta of the Fire Light pack?"
He scoffed. "Drama queen. You're one to talk. How could you stir up drama without me there to watch? You got into a fight with Trina! And I missed it!"
"Justin, seriously? Focus." I wedged to phone between my ear and shoulder so I could forward an email. "Hey, I'm forwarding an email to you right now. It's from some over in West Sun. It's a little weird."
"Yeah hang on a second," he said with a sigh. Drama queen. I could hear the faint clicking of keys as he typed. A minute later he spoke, "Ok I've got it. Who it this from?"
"The writer claims to be the head of the Lupá¾°tor," I answered. "But it isn't the same name as the person I met when we went there last year. And it's odd."
"Odd how?" he asked. "All it says is that they've had a surge of Rogues and could use a couple extra skilled fighters to help them handle it."
"A request like this should be coming from the Alpha and going directly to Jason." I said as I starred the email. "It's strange that it would come from someone else. And it just reads odd. Why would a surge happen so soon after the last failed? Why send it to me?"
"Are we going to help them?" Justin asked.
I bit my lower lip for a moment as I weighed our options. "I'm not sure. Do we really have the resources? Most of our trainers will be here, and we can't just send a group of fighters without someone high up to head them. I also don't like how little is detailed here."
"But if they do need help we can't just leave them hanging, it could kill our alliance with them," he pointed out.
"I know," I sighed. "Let me talk to Jase about this, we'll see what he says."
"Try not to get into any more fights while you're at it!" he quipped.
I couldn't stop my major eye roll. "Good Lord! Let it go, Justin!"
"Hey! You can't take the Lord's name in vain if you don't believe in him," he cried. I ended the call and cut off his rant.
I sat my phone down and stood up. I was currently working in the bedroom I'd been put in. I could work in Tyler's office, hell I could even work in Grant's or Greg's. But I preferred to handle pack business without people from other packs looking over my shoulder. Maybe that makes me a little paranoid but I'm okay with that. I snapped shut my laptop after doing a quick forward of the email to Jason and set off the find him.
I found him with Lily down in the foyer. "Where are you two going?" I questioned. "And where in Colin? Please tell me you didn't ditch another guard, Lily."
She sniffed, "That was one time."
"We were going to go look at some of the shops," Jason said answering my first question.
I raised an eyebrow, "Are you telling me that there's something your mate hasn't already gotten from here? Better yet have you forgotten that there are Rogues after her?"
"Are you questioning my concern for her safety?" Jason said with a slight edge to his voice.
I was among the few who Jason could not intimidate so he'd have to try a lot harder. "Yes. It's my job. It's one of the things you actually pay me for. That and to back talk you."
Lily giggled whereas Jason got that exasperated look on his face, the one he reserved specially for me. "Kate," he sighed.
"Jason," I said mimicking him.
"Must you be difficult?"
I grinned cheekily. "Of course. But moving on, I forwarded an email to you that we need to discuss."
"Does it have to be right now?" he asked. I nodded. He sighed again and kissed Lily's temple. "Sorry Li-li, we'll go out later."
She grimaced but didn't complain, this wasn't the first time they'd had to sacrifice their alone time and it certainly would not be the last. "See you later," she said.
I gave her a serious look, "Do not go out without telling us and taking Colin and Lisa."
She nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I know. Go do boring stuff."
I shook my head at her and followed Jason up to the Alpha office. Thankfully Grant wasn't in his office so I close the door behind me. It took Jason a minute to log into his email. "Which one is it?"
"Starred and titled 'immediate'," I answered leaning over his shoulder and pointing. "There."
"I see it," he said smacking my hand away. "Jeez, back off woman."
I hit him upside the head. "Jackass."
"I try," he mumbled absentmindedly as he read through the email. "This is odd," he commented once he finished.
I nodded in agreement. "What are we going to do? We have to help."
I watch him mentally go over the options we had. "We'll send a team."
"Who?"
"A few fighters, Justin can see who's available," he thought aloud. "But we need a header. Justin's needed at the pack-"
"Send me," I cut him off before he could list everyone else we can't send.
The surprise on his face was genuine but I'd been going over all the options and concluded this solution before finding him. "I can't," he said.
"Why not?" I asked. "I am the logical choice. They know my face so I won't be a stranger. Trina can't go, she has school and the others are needed here. It's not safe to try moving Lily when there is an unknown number of Rogues after her. You can't leave Lily, not when she is in danger. If the only reason you don't want to send me is because of Grant-"
"Of course that's the reason!" he interrupted. "He is your mate-"
"Was my mate," I corrected. "Jason, I have a job to do. That's reason I'm here. Let me do my job." He still had that hard look on his face. "Fine, if it helps the West Sun thing shouldn't take more than a few days. I'll go there, meet the other team on the road and come right back."
I could see the moral debate in his mind. I knew Jason place a high reverence on mates. They went in the same category as angels and gods. But he also knew I was right. "No longer than a week," he finally said after several long minutes of his mental debate. "You get your ass back here in a week, if the job isn't finished the team can handle it and go home."
I nodded. I wouldn't leave if the job wasn't finished. Sometimes it isn't just about picking your battles but also knowing when to fight them. I talk to Justin about who to send and then I'll pack." Again. "I'll leave tomorrow."
I finished pack the last of my clothes and flipped the lid of the suitcase over so I could zip it up. I resisted the urge to yawn. I got up early even by my standards. I had to leave by eight to catch up with the team. I wanted to leave by dawn to avoid running into anyone. The only people who knew I was leaving was the pack, and of course my family. I spent an hour assuring my mother that I would return. I had a feeling that to her it felt like losing me all over again.
I had to push my emotions aside though. I would deal with my family issues upon my return. I would deal with Grant too. He would be beyond angry when he woke to find me gone without a word, again. Jason had tried to convince me to tell him that I was leaving. He only back off when I reminded him that I was an adult who's more than perfectly capable of making my own personal life decisions, thank you very much.
"Hey," a voice said startling me. I gasped loudly and flipped the hilt of one of my swords into my hand ready to separate a head from its body. "Whoa, it's only me," Tristan said holding his hands up in surrender. He even chuckled.
I set the sword back in its sheath. "What are you doing here?"
"I figured that you would be leaving early," he answered. "For as long as I've known you, you have hated goodbyes."
I smiled slightly, "I'm not very good at them."
He smiled back. "No, you really are not." Then he grew serious. He'd been doing that a lot lately. "I think you should wait."
"Wait for what?"
"Wait to leave," he answered. "Before you cut me off let me explain. You said that you've forgiven Grant, that you want to be friends. So prove it. Don't just leave without telling him. It's not right, Kate, and it certainly isn't fair to him. He does care about you so please don't throw that back in his face. I know how that feels and trust me, Kate, it sucks."
I scowled, "It's unfair for you to pull that card on me, Tristan, and you know it." He grinned. "Fine. I'm only doing this because you are asking."
"I know," he said smugly.
I narrowed my eyes. "Careful Tristan, you might wear out your free pass on giving me life advice."
He blew me a kiss and left me alone. Great, so now what do I do for the next couple of hours. I figured I might as well pack the truck while I was waiting. I swung my swords, bow and quiver over my shoulder and grabbed my suitcase. I made my way down the stairs. To my surprise I could hear the clatter of one or two people on the bottom floor.
I ignored them hoping that they would not see me. "Katrina?"
I dropped the suitcase and turned. "Grant."
His eyes immediately zoomed in on the drooped suitcase. "You're leaving?"
I spent a second wondering how to play this. I chose to be professional. "Yes. I'm needed elsewhere for the moment."
He growled loudly. "So you're leaving? Just like that? You are leaving without telling me, again!"
I cringed. "You'll wake everyone if you keep shouting."
"Good!" he yelled louder. "Let them all come down to see you walk out on this pack a second time!"
That's what did it. That right there. "Walk out on this pack?" I repeated with a dangerous steel edge. "I walked out on this pack? You'll have to explain that one to me, Grant. Because as I recall I didn't turn my back on the pack, they turned their backs on me for you!"
We were drawing a crowd. I could see Tristan, Trina, Jason and the rest of my pack. My brother was there as well along with other familiar face, some that turned away when I yelled out the last part. But what hit me hard was who came up behind Grant. Two people who I hoped to never see again. His parents.
I barely kept myself from stumbling back. Instead I met Holden's eyes and held my head up. "Well if it isn't Holden Adams."
"I may not be the current Alpha but you will still address me by that title," he growled.
I snorted and challenged him with my eyes. "No. I won't. You are not my Alpha, you stopped being my Alpha the second you bent the rules for your personal purpose. Because to be my Alpha you have to have my respect and I have none for you."
"You insolent little bitch," Holden said and I saw surprise and rage mingled together on Grant's face. "You are just as worthless and disgraceful as you were years ago. I ought to do your current Alpha a favor and kill you now."
Jason was suddenly by my side and growling loudly. "If you dare threaten her again the only person being killed will be you," he boomed.
Holden glared at Jason. "Do you realize the piece of garbage you've taken into your pack?"
"Not only are you talking about my Beta you are talking about my sister," Jason growled. "So watch your fucking tongue before I rip it out. You will either apologize to her sincerely, or I will take my pack members home and we will and let the Rogues kill your pack."
"Jason," I hissed and he looked at me. "Don't. Not for me."
"Kate," he whispered back. "That is the asshole who-"
"I know who he is," I cut him off. "Trust me I would love to see him suffer, but don't damn this pack over me. Not everyone is like him. There are good people here, people who need our help. I will not stand by, I will not let our pack stand by and watch them die."
"Look at that," Holden said. The ignorant ass couldn't keep his mouth shut. "She's trying to sound high and mighty."
I growled at him. "No, I'm just a decent person unlike."
"You have no right to judge me!" he yelled.
"Dad stop this," Grant snapped. Holden shove Grant out of his way so he could come towards me. It was then when he was a mere foot from me that I smelled the alcohol. He's drunk at five am.
I saw the slap coming from a mile away so it was easy to dodge it and push him away from me. I turned to Ivanna, Holden's mate. "He's drunk." She nodded. "You two mat no longer lead Silver Moon but you are still an example for the pack. Is this," I waved a hand at Holden, "the example you want to set. I thought you at least were better, Ivanna."
"Maybe if you could stay," she said without anger, "and do the job you were assigned things would be different."
"In case you've forgotten your beloved mate stripped me of that job," I pointed out.
She scowled. "Not being a Beta. You were meant to be a Luna. The next Luna of this pack, instead you left."
"Because I couldn't trust this pack," I said. "I could never stay here after what happened."
"You'll have to," she said. "You can't ignore having a mate forever."
"Watch me," I replied.
I turned to leave but Jason stopped me. "She's right, Kate."
"What?"
"Grant is your mate," Jason said. "It's why I took this job. Because you belong with your mate."
It hurt. A lot. Jason's words were a betrayal. "I was fine before coming here. So what you're really saying is that you didn't want me in your pack. All of these years of saying what Holden did was horrible and a disgrace was just a lie. You two have a lot in common. You both wanted to get rid of me."
"Kate," Jason said softly. "That's not what I meant."
"Isn't it?" I said coldly. "I don't belong here. And I guess I don't belong in Fire Light either. I guess it's a good thing I'm already packed up huh?"
"Kate," he repeated softly.
I couldn't look at him. At any of them. "Don't worry, this isn't the first time I've had to disappear. At least now I know what I'm doing. I promise, you'll never see me again."
I grabbed my suitcase and rushed out to the truck. I threw it in and pulled out so quickly I left a cloud of dirt floating in my wake. I broke every speed limit until I reach the border and pulled over. I betrayal stung at my eyes but I wouldn't let the tears falls.
Not for the first time since coming here I felt sixteen again. But right in that moment I felt like the sixteen-year-old girl who had just been told by Holden that she was the one who could no longer be trusted.
I suppose that happens when you're dealing with old memories. The old ghost come back to haunt you.