The First Time
~Five Years Ago~
It was snowing outside. Again. Big fat white flakes falling from the sky. I hate it. I hate here, I hate the snow, and I hate the cold. I miss Kate. She said that she would be back but it's been months.
"We'll find her, Trina," Lily said softly as she draped a blanket around me. "Jason and Tristan are out there right now with a team of trackers trying to find her. They will bring Kate home."
"No they won't," I said turning away from the window to look at her. "They won't find her."
Lily reached out, probably to touch my shoulder, but I moved out of the way. "Sweetie why would you say that. Kate is okay-"
"I know that," I said cutting her off. "Kate is fine. If she was dead they would have found her body by now." Lily grimaced. Kate would remind me that I was being crude. I didn't care. "They won't find Kate because she doesn't want to be found."
"Trina," Lily cooed gently. "She wants to come back."
"No she doesn't," I said curtly. "Jason and the other fighters, the Lupine-whatever you call them-"
"Lupá¾°tor," Lily corrected with a slight smile.
I rolled my eyes instinctually and continued. "They rescued Kate from Blackwater months ago, then she disappeared. I highly doubt anyone made it to the pack house and took her from our room without me seeing them. None of you seem to want to accept the fact that she choose to leave. Which means she doesn't want to come back. She's gone." My voice broke on the last word and I sat down heavily on the couch and the tremors hit.
Lily sat beside me and wrapped her arms around me, probably in a failed attempt to comfort me. "Do you want to know why I'm so positive that Kate is going to return?"
I nodded as tears blurred my vision. "Yes."
"Because she made you a promise," Lily said as she wiped my tears away. "And I have never known Kate to break a promise. Especially a promise to her little sister."
I sniffed. "Little sister? We aren't blood."
Lily smiled and hugged me. "Ah, little one, blood and family are not mutually exclusive."
I turned my head to look up at her. "I don't understand."
Her smiled grew slightly. "Much like you, Kate has no blood family of her own."
"But she said that Jason was her brother," I interrupted.
She chuckled to herself. "He is, just like she is a little sister to the two of us. Did Kate ever tell you how she came here?"
I shook my head, "Only that her mate rejected her, a pack betrayed her, and she left. I didn't really understand most of it."
"No, I imagine not," Lily said. She wasn't trying to be, Tristan taught me the word, snooty I think it was. Lily wasn't trying to be snooty, she was just acknowledging that I didn't have their education. "Kate was forced to leave her blood family behind. She won't ever see them again."
"Like I won't see my parents again?"
Lily nodded sadly. "Yeah. Kind of like that. She was really sad too. But when she came here she found a new family."
"A replacement family?" I asked slightly revolted.
Lily shook her head. "No sweetie. I don't think anybody could ever replace them. It's more like Kate found she had more family she just hadn't met yet. Family is the people who love you and you love them. I know Kate loves you, Trina."
I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. "She doesn't say it."
Lily pulled me into her side and I laid my head on her shoulder. "Sweetie she was waiting."
"For what?" I asked sniffling.
"For you to be ready," she answered softly. "I think she was worried that it'd upset you. You're still healing and Kate wouldn't want to rush you."
"I miss her," I whispered hoarsely.
Lily rubbed my shoulder. "I know. We all miss he-" Lily cut off and I jerked back to see her face. She had this weird expression on it, dazed and her eyes kind of glazed over. It was the same look Kate got whenever she said she was linking with some in the pack. She was still teaching me but I knew linking was like mental talking. It all seemed kind of like witch magic but Kate swears that it's normal, no magic of any kind. But he always kind of smiles when she says the word magic so I'm not quite sure if she's not joking.
"What is it?" I asked when the look cleared away.
"Come on," Lily said quickly and she pulled me up. "We have to go."
"What's going on?" I asked as I half ran, half stumbled behind her.
"Just hurry!" she said throwing open the front door. A blast of cold hit us and I shivered but ran after her barefoot into the snow. We got into her car, it still kind of thrills me to ride in one. I wasn't very thrilled right now. In fact the way Lily was driving actually frightened me. A lot. "One of the Lupá¾°tor messaged me," Lily rushed out as we flew through snowy darkness. "The patrol team came across a Rogue on the border."
"So?" I asked.
"So this Rogue took out half a dozen of them before half a dozen more could pin it down."
I blinked in surprise. I'd seen our fighters. They were mega-impressive. The rest of the way too short drive was silent. Suddenly the car lurched to a violent stop and skidded slightly. I wanted to throw up and got out of the car the second it stilled.
I regretted it because I stepped into snow up to my ankles. Holy cow it's cold! "Shit," Lily said coming around the car just as barefoot. "Should have grabbed shoes. You especially."
"I'll be fine," I said. "Let's just get this done with as soon as possible."
She nodded and I followed her to a group of wolves. "Luna," one said, a leader of some sort I think, I just know him and Al. "Little one."
I scowled. I hate when he calls me that. He's twice my size and finds it funny how small I am. "Where is the Rogue?" I asked grouchily.
He smiled and jerked his chin. "This way. She's a handle full. Popped up out of nowhere, ain't said a peep."
I walked over to where a bunch of them had the woman restrained. Hey eyes locked on mine immediately and I gasped. "Let her go!"
"What?" Lily said. "Trina, she just-"
"It's Kate," I said breathlessly. She was covered in dirt and blood, so much it covered her scent and masked her appearance but I knew those eyes. "It's Kate," I repeated to myself. The wolves let her go and I threw myself at her.
She hugged my back. "Hi Tree." Her voice was rough, like she hadn't spoken in a real long time but it was her. "Lily. The fighters have really lost their edge in my absence."
"Most of them are still training," Lily said in a far off voice. "Most of the one's who'd completed training are out looking for you."
"Oh," Kate said. "Tree, Lily, why are you two wearing shoes?"
I laughed and pulled back to really look at Kate. "Are you okay?" I asked. Her face changed, it twisted up kind of. That's when I saw it. Kate broke her promised. She promised me she'd be back when she left for Blackwater. She didn't come back, not quite. Whatever happened to her there, not all of her came out alive.
~Present Day~
"We'll find her, Trina," Lily said.
"Déjà vu," I said softly to myself but she heard it. "That's the same thing you said to me the last time Kate went missing."
She got real thoughtful. "It is, isn't? Funny how history repeats itself."
"Makes you wonder where we failed," I said setting the bottle of water I'd grabbed from the fridge down on the kitchen counter.
"Failed?" Jason asked joining us. I saw Grant glance at us before storming outside. "What do you mean?"
I raised and dropped one shoulder. "Tristan's always going on at me whenever I slack on homework that those who failed history are doomed to repeat it. If history is repeating that means we failed to learn from it."
Jason propped his elbows on the counter and dropped his face into his hands. "I never should have made her come here," his muffled voice said. "This is my fault."
"No it's not," Lily said immediately jumping to his defense. "Honestly Jason, do you really think you or anyone else can make Kate do something against her will?"
He looked up at her and for a moment I saw in his eyes how tortured he was about this. "Fine. I didn't make her do it, but I did ask her to come here. I badgered her, I knew just what to say to get her to come so it's my fault this happened."
I scoffed and they both turned to me. "If you're looking for someone to blame why don't you blame the mutts that took her. Let's find them-"
"We've been looking, Trina," Jason cut me off. "We can't find them."
"Then find out how they took her!" I snapped. They both seemed to sputter mentally. "If you can't find out where they are then start with where they were."
"We've searched the truck and the spot they took her a dozen times," Jason said. "She's not there."
"That's not what I meant," I said calmly. Not that I had their attention I had no need to use anger. "How many people knew the road she was planning to take?"
"No one," Lily said. "She just left."
Jason understood what I meant. "No, she didn't. That was the path she mapped out for her trip. The only people who knew that she'd go that way were in our pack."
Lily turned abruptly to face Jason. "You're not suggested someone in our pack betrayed us?"
"Maybe," I interceded. "But it wasn't just those in our pack. We may have only told Fire Light members but over a dozen of silver Moon were there for the screaming match between Kate and Grant. They all saw her leave, she made it pretty clear she was leaving Silver Moon."
"And they all saw the direction she went," Lily said with a sighed. "They know the area, they know the roads."
"It wouldn't be very hard for one of them to figure out which road she would be to leave and leak the information to Rogues," I continued. "If I were after Kate I'd wait on the road, probably have a car ready to crash into her."
"But it was pretty clear the fight wasn't at the truck," Jason interrupted. "So she stopped and got out of her own will."
"Probably to get some air," Lily explained softly. "She tends to go to the trees whenever she wants to think or take a minute."
I nodded. "That's where they grabbed her. They probably ambushed her."
"Just one problem," Jason said. "This all makes sense except we don't have any proof."
My brows furrowed. "Proof? Kate's missing, there was clearly a fight, what do we need proof for?"
Lily put her hand on my shoulder. "Trina, what we're talking about if it's true that means there is a traitor, either in our pack or more like in Silver Moon. That's a serious accusation, one we can't make until we have some proof."
I shook her hand off. "I'm not a child anymore so don't speak down to me."
Her eyes widened. "I wasn't-"
I didn't let her finish. "If you two need proof fine. Go find your proof but I am going to go find my sister."
I stormed out and shifted, not caring that it tore apart my clothes, once I was outside. "Trina?" Tristan said when I ran past him. He and Lisa were in the middle of a training session. "Hey Liz take over for a minute."
He started running after me. I opened up a communication link to speak to him. "Leave me alone Tristan, I don't want to listen to more excuses from you all."
We were just beyond the tree line now. "Do you think you're the only one that wants Kate back?" Tristan yelled.
I skidded to a stopped and turned around to bare my teeth at him. "You are too busy playing with the puppies to go look for her!"
"I am doing my job!" he yelled back. "We all have jobs to do, Trina. We have responsibilities. Kate has been trying to teach you that by forcing you to keep up with school. Well here is your first test. We all want to go off running to find her but we don't. Do you know why?"
"Maybe because you don't really want to find her!" I snapped.
He growled and his body started to shake with the urge to shift. "Don't you dare say I don't want to find her! Maybe you're too young-"
"When will you all stop treating me like I'm a child?" I yelled through the link.
"When you stop behaving like one," he said in a harsh and cruel voice. His tone shock me into silence, my mind couldn't believe it was actually Tristan talking. "You are not the only one that loves Kate."
"I know that," I said meekly as I dropped to the ground.
His expression softened. "Then stop acting like it. I know she's family to you, but she family to the rest of us as well. You have to trust that we are doing everything we can to find her. You also have to realize it won't do Kate anything good if you go and get yourself taken or worse killed. So do something, teach a session, do some school work, just do something."
I shook my head, "She's the only family I have left."
He petted my head. "I know," he said softly. "This isn't the first time this has happened Trina. She came back fine last time. She'll come back fine this time."
I didn't have the heart to correct him. Kate wasn't fine when she came back last time. Honestly, I'm not sure she really ever came back, at least not completely. She never talked about what happened to her at Blackwater but ever since then she was different.
I'm not sure if she'll come back again nor am I sure that we'll like it. The thought disgusted me, I was revolted by myself. I tried everything to reject the thought but every time I searched our lashed out at the others for not doing enough a part of me felt like I was just pretending.
I let out a heavy breath and got back to my feet, or paws rather. Tristan gave me a smile, well he tried to give me a smile but it came out as a grimace. I realized something else from our conversation, no matter how much I missed Kate it was nothing compared to what Tristan felt.
I still don't understand much about mates or rejection but I do know that being rejected hurts. Kate said that it was like a piece of you breaking. She also said that she didn't know how Tristan did it. He never talked about his mate, neither of them liked the topic, but Kate once let it slip that he loved his mate. She said that she never liked her mate but when the pain hit it was nearly unbearable. Tristan had loved his mate, Kate said she couldn't imagine the pain he felt when his mate rejected him.
Kate and Tristan had helped each other through their rejections. They love each other, neither would say it but they did. I think it went deeper than just love though. They had a bond that could never be broken. I knew what my bond to Tyler felt like, roughly. The bond Kate and Tristan had was definitely something else, something stronger.
It had to be killing him that she was in danger. So... "How do you do it?" I asked softly. "How do you focus on anything else?"
"I've had a lot of practice," he said vaguely. He didn't explain and I didn't ask. He pushed himself up and turned to leave but frozen suddenly. He was looking past me at something that had completely captured his attention. I turned around swiftly prepared to attack. I froze too when I saw what it was.
Tristan walked forward past me like a man possessed. He reached out and whispered, "Kate."
Kate swayed unsteadily. She was covered in... she was covered in blood. She looked ready to keel over any second. Tristan stopped a couple steps before reaching her as if he feared going any closer would make her disappeared. Kate looked at him, I couldn't see his face but I saw pain flicker onto hers in response. The she collapsed. Tristan lurched forward to catch her and I darted to them. Her lips trembled with words we couldn't hear but I caught a couple snippets. "...Silver Moon... warn... traitor... pack..."
Lily has her proof.
Kate's eyes slowly closed and she went limp in Tristan's arms. He gathered her up. "Trina run ahead. Tell them to get the pack doctor ready."
I nodded and took off running.